Class Time

Weird shit people say in my English class, these all really happened. The pic above is my dog being weird

[6thperiodenglish]

While Reading Romeo and Juliet

Student 1 reads: "Signor Placentio"

Student : well I guess you are what you eat!

Entire class: NO

[6thperiodenglish]

Student: United Airlines, putting the hospital in hospitality

[6thperiodenglish]

Student: comic sans is like the Adam Sandler of fonts

[6thperiodenglish]

Student 1: why are you so tall?

Student 2: idk it's a habit

[6thperiodenglish]

Student: YOU'RE AN OVARY HARRY

[6thperiodenglish]

Teacher: there's nothing more powerful than a Gamma Ray Blast

Student: well you've never met a 3 year old on crack

Teacher: *heavy sigh*

Teacher: you don't understand

Student: No, YOU don't understand

[6thperiodenglish]

Teacher: I'm gonna cut your body off your mouth

Me: wut

[6thperiodenglish]

Teacher: *southern belle accent*

Me: I just imagined you in a huge dress

Teacher: I would look great

[6thperiodenglish]

Me: I have a friend in 7th period and she says you talk about us a lot

Teacher: ah yes, the legendary 6th period

[6thperiodenglish]

Teacher: this is a standard definition of juxtaposition

Student: standard definition tv?

Teacher: ...

Teacher: stupid

Teacher: that wasn't even good

[6thperiodenglish]

Teacher: best behavior

Student: I'll give you half

Teacher: I want all of it

Me: *laughs loudly*

Teacher: ...

Teacher: shut up

[6thperiodenglish]

Teacher: serious questions!

Student: do you think Tupac is alive?

Teacher: in my heart

[6thperiodenglish]

Teacher: so what im saying is when you die you die alone

Student: what if I die in a massacre

Teacher: we are not Jonestown Massacre-ing this

Teacher: do not drink the punch!

[6thperiodenglish]

Teacher: I'm about to throw out some hip slang

Teacher: so Scout and Ms Maudie were throwing shade

Student: oh Mr L that was so hip!

Teacher: I know right!

[6thperiodenglish]

Teacher: so should I ask you questions?

Student: please Papa, I haven't eaten in 3 days

[6thperiodenglish]

Student#1: I'm planning to start smuggling cocaine over the border

Student #2: into Mexico?

Student #1: yep

[6thperiodenglish]

Student: nothing is illegal if you have enough duct tape