Awfully Big Adventure

Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

Damn it… 

Robin hated feeling guilt.  It had to be one of her least favorite things to feel and so she avoided it as best as she could.  All it ever really took was a bit of tricky reasoning and because she had such great faith in herself, she always listened.  It told her to do something.  It said she couldn’t take him away like this now that she knew.

Since it wasn’t all her say she figured she would just have to take him some other way.

“I can see why.  Sounds like it all went to shit without me here…”  Stopping at the top of the step down to the dirt, Robin cursed loudly and ordered back, “Get some salt.”  A flap of her coat and she was back in the house.  Something had been amiss when she first arrived, but she hadn’t seen it.  It was everywhere now, seeping in through the walls and soaked into the floor.  This place wasn’t particularly happy - and she couldn’t have that.

“Belle!”  Her voice echoed down the hall, Wendy and Michael coming running as well.  

“Spent some time in New Orleans in my early days traveling.  I got a trick for you and your baby… candles, five of them.  Bring them, light them.”  Her commanding, her shouting, it did its job as they scurried away but it was seen best in the anxious look in Belle’s eyes.  “Don’t ya worry.  Just got to get on the road is all… gotta give these Darlings a kick in the butt.” 

Setting out the lit candles, she looked Michael’s way.  “Hats off.”

Placing soft hands on Belle’s belly and shutting her eyes, she read off her memory, “Spirits, please hear my cry.  Please bless this unborn child.  All I ask is for good luck so they will be born a healthy boy or girl.”  Her eyes stayed closed for a beat before she exhaled, “I feel it.  You feel it?  I know Wendy feels it…”  She winks back, stepping away.  “You and that baby are gonna be just fine… and I’m making it my mission to protect John’s fussy little head for ya.”  

With a warm grin, she turned back, sweeping out the door without a word.  Robin didn’t want to talk about it, she didn’t want to question it.  It all settled in a painful knot in her stomach that was hard enough to ignore.  “Salt.”  She held out her hand, taking it to spread in front of the door.  “Nothing getting through there.  Ya can rest easy too.”

[a-darling-boy-blog]

“Robin?” 

John had glanced over his shoulder, but the woman was already back in the farmhouse, barking orders to the flurry of feet that came at her voice. When he reentered Belle was in the center of the front room, wide eyes meeting his furrowed brow as Michael and Wendy ran throughout the home. “I don’t -” his soft voice began, promptly cut off as Robin swept by him to his wife’s side. He cleared his throat, a harsh noise meant to break the red head’s concentration off of Belle. But it failed, spectacularly, the woman more concerned with the unborn babe before her.

Wendy and Michael were in love. Practically radiating with glee at the scene that unfolded before them, Michael prompt to sweep his hat off before grabbing John’s, a look of annoyance crossing his face that he had to do so. Wendy walked regally, practically in her element as she lit candles, standing by Robin’s side in silent reverence. 

Belle...Belle couldn’t help the soft smile from showing as Robin kneeled before her, watching as the other woman “cast” her blessing upon the baby. Once the woman stood her hands fell to her swollen stomach, smile widening as the woman swept away.

“Belle, I am so sorry,” John began with a tumble of words, snatching his hat from Michael with a stern frown as he rushed forward, hands upon her shoulders before gently sweeping down to her upper arms.

“Stop, it’s okay. It’s true, I felt something.” They were quiet words, the woman amused that she was now reassuring him. The roles were switched only moments before. Robin shouted again, something about spirits not getting through the front door. Belle’s eyes fell off of John, darting over his shoulder as Wendy and Michael skipped to Robin’s voice. “We’ll be okay. You said so yourself. I believe you more then her, remember this.” 

John nodded, his lips pressed tightly together as he quickly brushed them upon her forehead before turning back to the door. Sweeping outside, he gave Robin a hard look, stepping beside her and crunching down the front walk without a word. Wendy and Michael called their farewells to the retreating figures, Belle a silent presence behind them.

“I understand the gesture, I honestly do,” John began, feeling Robin return to his side. “But please ask Belle before casting some spell upon her. Even the good ones.” He glanced back at Robin, ensuring that she was close enough to hear the words. “Let us simply get a few supplies, my horse is back at the office, and then we can leave.” 

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

“’Ey now, who says ya gotta be mean to be a pirate?  All you need is a healthy sense of adventure… and a healthy disregard for the law…”  She winked.  “Guess you’re right.  Sorry, John, you’re no pirate today.”

“I’m barely one anymore… its a sad thing.  Y’all are looking at the interim Sheriff of Nottingham… at least I will be in a couple days.”  And for no longer than an interim.  She did not know if she could last any longer.  It was a crisis if Robin ever had them… and now she had no one to speak with about it.  It was only then that Robin had realized how much she had been ready to tell him once they were face to face.  The different stories she had gathered.  The things she thought he would understand.

Now there was no place for any of it.  She had left and the world moved on, Walt had left her in its dust, Belle’s quiet humming echoing in her ears.

“No, sir, just a few days and I’ll return him back to ya.  Just maybe a little muddied up.”  Picking up the old hat that went with her everywhere, that she had used for years, she spun it around and set it down on Michael’s head.  “Take care of these ladies while he’s away.  Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”  Swallowing the last bit of bread, she looked across the table, “We should get going.”

[a-darling-boy-blog]

At Robin’s final words, John sat up in his chair, hands falling to his vest to straighten it. “Quicker we’re gone, the quicker we return.” They were quiet words, ones that elicited a nod from the man as he met Robin’s eyes across the way. “Let me just see Adelaide before I leave.” Belle had already risen from her chair, a soft presence who gave a hushed farewell to Robin before leaving the kitchen. Frowning, John rose himself, following his wife without a word to the redhead.

Both the Darling siblings shifted uncomfortably, Wendy suddenly interested in the smoothness of her skirt, Michael watching a bird out the window.

“It won’t be too long, right?” Wendy suddenly asked, dispelling the silence with a soft tremor to her voice. She glance over to Robin with a bright smile, valiantly attempting to not strain for creaking throughout the house. “I don’t believe Belle will be too happy with John being away. He’s never been away while she was pregnant.”

“When she lost that first baby -” Michael began, but was quickly hushed by Wendy.

“It won’t happen this time,” Wendy mumbled quietly, giving Michael a stern look before glancing back to Robin. “She gets nervous, that’s all. But I’ll be here. So will Michael. It will be all okay.”

“Which is precisely what I need both of you to tell her. On a daily basis.” John strolled back into the kitchen, weariness plain upon his face as she stood behind Wendy. He glanced from his sister to Michael, giving them both long looks. “You know how she worries. It will be bad for the baby. So I need you both to be extra quick to ensure that she rests. It’ll only be for a few days.” His hands settled upon his belt, stepping back so Robin could stand. “Three days. Tops. Swear it.” Not another word passed as he spun about, stepping out of the farmhouse with Robin right behind.

“It was nice to see Michael excited again,” John finally stated, glancing back at Robin with a smile as the pair reentered Walt Proper. Heading towards the Sheriff’s Office, he tipped his hat back. “The boy has all but abandoned his imagination, it was reassuring to see him so quick to fall back into the old habits.” 

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

There had been too many questions to give any good answer.  One word, two words, Robin avoided those replies.  They gave nothing back and so it was without any suitable relieving of anyone’s questions that they went to the back, the redhead straining behind her for a glimpse of the baby in question.  It was quite a homey house, the kind that she respected enough to take the hat from her head as they walked through.  

At the same time, it was a world she felt disconnected from.  She could give it its due respect but Robin was no longer a part of this world.  Back east, as they worked with Richard to bring him back, she had been forced indoors and it had felt like ill-fitting clothes.  It wore on her and made her claustrophobic after her years traveling the landscapes.  She could not remember it and she could not identify with it - only appreciate it in the families that surrounded her.

Was she expected to settle into it?

Settling into a chair, she kept her feet on the floor, leaning against the table.  All part of her respect for their home.  “The bad guys were after me, Michael.”  Robin whistled into the air.  “They wanted ole Robin’s head - but I wouldn’t let ‘em have it.”

She reached over, grabbing a slice of the bread, and taking a large bite.  “Went out to California for a bit, helped out in some of those pan handling towns… but my heart wasn’t in it… so I went out East, lived in New York City.  They put me inside, Michael.  They put me in one of their buildings, tried to get me new clothes… don’t do it, kid.  It ain’t worth it…. but I’m back now… cleaning out the filth in Nottingham like I started all those years ago.  Even got your brother helping me.”

“If I’m a pirate, and he’s helping me, does that make Johnny a pirate too?”  She laughed, glancing at him across the table.

[a-darling-boy-blog]

“Johnny could never be a pirate.” Michael uttered the phrase with a finality, eyebrows furrowing as he inspected the grape in his fingers. 

“Indeed, he does not possess one mean bone in his body,” Wendy agreed, head nodding as she watched Michael inspect his grape. It was curious, watching the boy as he rolled the fruit about. She had half a mind to stop him.

“Oh but California! There had to be tons of gold out there!” Michael sat up with the thought, placing the grape back down upon the table with a soft sigh from Wendy. Michael leaned upon his elbows, chin propped upon his hands. “And New York City! We’ve never been there, right John? I heard the buildings soar above your head, and they’re getting bigger and bigger with each year that passes. Nothing like Philadelphia. Not that I remember much of Philadelphia.”

“That is not a terrible thing,” John quietly added, fingertips lightly caressing the back of Belle’s neck. She hummed quietly, eyes falling shut at the contact. 

“I do wish to see New York City, at least once. Nothing gets any higher then three stories here.” Michael went to reach for the grape, a soft pout showing as Wendy snatched it before him. “But you and John have to go to Nottingham? I overheard him telling Belle. It won’t be too long, right?” 

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

Robin did not know how to explain.  It seemed that easy from the outside.  She would be free.  She could go where she liked, do as she liked… but only in theory.  People would start expecting things from her now and she had no idea if she was capable of any of them.  Was she to settle down now?  Get a house and new clothes, get married and have a family as was expected of all women?  What about the people still needing help?  Did she leave them to their own devices or move on and start over in a new place, letting the charges rack back up?

And so she did what she always did when things weren’t so easy to understand - brushed them off completely.  “Don’t sound very exciting, does it?”  She laughed, pulling back from the table.  “I am at my very best when I’m wanted.  Not many people can say that.”  At least it had given her direction and she stared at her poster in wistfulness.

Three days sounded like enough, Robin nodding in concurrence.  She wanted this over with, finally and for good.  “Ya could’ve told him the truth.”  Robin offered up to him, turning back and propping herself against the wall.  “I ain’t ashamed of what I’ve done and Michael’s a good kid.  Let me go out like a legend, not a disappointment… just got to make my entrance all the better to undo the damage…”  

Her bag of provisions and bow had been dropped to the ground when she strolled in and Robin collected them now, draping them over her.  “To your place then we’re off then…”  Squinting out at the sun through the window to gather the time, she was ready to shove off.  “And don’t got to feel weird, I’m happy for ya, Johnny.  Really.  I ain’t here to start trouble.”

[a-darling-boy-blog]

As Robin moved to retrieve her belongings, John stood, hands sliding into his pockets as he watched her sling her bags over her shoulder. It was an image he swore he would not see again. Which was perhaps why he felt as though his head was lifting off of his shoulders. At her statement he shook his head, a hand leaving his pocket to wave at her nonchalantly. “It will be fine, do not worry upon it. Belle will simply be worried for my wellbeing, nothing else. I’m more concerned about her being upset while pregnant.” His hand returned to his pocket, giving the woman a nod before turning to walk out into the square.

They had upgraded, as it was, moving into Belle’s father’s home once they were married. It was a happy existence, the rooms available for each member of the home to be comfortable. John led Robin through the square, walking out of the town and up the winding hill that led to the farm home. 

Smiling softly, John nudged into the front door, holding it ajar so Robin could step in before him. “Michael, Wendy.” John called the names clear, a thud sounding above the pair as Michael fell from his bed. The boy rounded the landing at the top of the stairs, smile brightening his face as he tumbled down them to launch at Robin.

Wendy was quick to follow, a blur of an image through the front room to her brother’s side. Belle was final, a soft presence that came to the front door, her eyes meeting John’s. Her face was smiling, but he quickly noted confusion in her eyes. And softly John shook his head once, before glancing back to his brother and sister as they launched a million questions at Robin.

“Were there pirates?” Quipped Michael, dancing from one foot to the other as he glanced over Robin’s attire. He had grown, already at John’s shoulder, threatening to become the tallest in their family.

“Oh dear, did you have to sleep under the stars every evening? How lovely.” Wendy sighed, her hands clasping before her as her eyes fell off of Robin to Michael.

“And the bad men? Ya got them right?” 

“Did you meet anyone out there? Did someone finally claim Robin’s heart?”

“How much gold was out there?”

“How are your men? They must be exhausted.”

John peeled away from Robin’s side, stepping by Belle with hands still firmly locked in his pockets. And quietly they talked, John quickly explaining the task that was set before him. Belle’s hand wrapped about his upper arm, reassuring that she would be fine. “Where is Adelaide?” John suddenly asked, his eyes tearing themselves off of his wife to glance to Wendy.

“Robinbird?” Michael asked, his eyebrows jutting high with the nickname. “She is asleep. Nap time for the two year old, of course.”

“Then we must hush our voices,” Belle quietly hummed, holding a finger to her lips as she shushed the group to the kitchen. It was in the back of the house, far from two year olds ears. “It is a pleasure to see you well, Miss Robin,” Belle softly said, stepping around the group to gesture to the kitchen table in the center of the room. “Please sit, it sounds as though you and my husband have a journey before yourselves.” Everyone settled quickly, Michael and Wendy sure to sit on either side of Robin. Belle turned to tug a bowl of fruit off the counter top, bread quick to follow before it was all settled upon the table. 

“Robin, what happened?” Michael didn’t wait another moment, grabbing a slice of bread and a bunch of grapes before settling beside the redhead. John tipped the edge of his hat back, arm draped across the back of Belle’s chair as he watched the woman across the way. 

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

Hunched over the map, red hair falling into her face, Robin thought about her position.  She had readied herself when she decided to come back, knowing this meeting was inevitable - she wouldn’t have even tried to keep away from him…

Still it stung, knowing it for a fact.  He had moved on.  She had hoped she had as well, but the charge that went through her spoke something different.  Timeless in its loyalty.

“Mickey’s offered to house a couple of the big fish here where they’ll be safe.”  There was a lack of her usual care when it came to those men.  Robin could talk about grace but she had little when it came to the men of Nottingham.  She said let the people have at them… but maybe that was why she wasn’t in charge this time around.  “We want to make sure the law is involved.  Do it as straight and narrow as possible…”

Also not her call.

“Ya know, by your definition of freed, I will be.  Don’t know what I’ll do with myself after that.”  There had to be other places she could go, people she could help, but being absolved - it wasn’t the feeling she had hoped it would be.

[a-darling-boy-blog]

John smiled softly at Robins words, amused by her need to remain upon the “straight and narrow.” His hand darted up, scratching at this brow with the edge of his thumbnail before letting his eyes drop back down to the map. “It would appear that you have turned over a new leaf.” The words were full of amusement, practically humming through the man as he spoke them. “There is a certain amount of freedom in it, correct? Being able to trot upon the road without fear of being locked up?” John’s hand fell down on the paper, fingertips lightly tapping upon it.

“So we escort the men back here, hold them for trial. Seems like an easy enough task, one that should only take - what.” His lips fluttered together with the thought. “Three days tops?” His eyes narrowed with the assessment, focusing upon Robin as his mind began to whirl with the plan. “Belle will be fine with Adelaide until I return. She will have Michael and Wendy, of course.” John’s lips pressed together in thought, his eyes turned down upon his hands. He then smiled. 

“Michael is 14 now.” His eyes remained down upon his hands, the fingers drumming upon the map as he continued to think. “Practically an adult, however, the way he marches about.” John’s eyebrows knitted together, smile fading. “It was hard to explain your disappearance to him, he watched for a good week. But even children give up at some point.” Again, his thumb reached up to scratch at his brow, John rolling his eyes up to Robin. “Would you mind if we stopped home before we left? I really should talk to Belle before taking off. Wendy and Michael, as well. Michael and Wendy will wish to see you, of course.” Belle was another matter, but one that John preferred to keep to himself. Robin would be more then tied up with his siblings to notice the air that Belle would radiate. 

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

Robin had stayed true to word - even when she had thought it impossible.  Coming back a risk, an endeavor, a goal to achieve and work at.  But she had made it.

It was probably a good thing she never expected fan fare - she wasn’t getting it by John’s reaction and she wasn’t sure she had Mickey’s complete faith yet.  But she was doing what she could.  She had been following the laws of the land, her agreement to a sign of the respect she held for Richard.  She had followed all the proper channels and now, when she would have rather seen all the me hanged, she was here to alert authorities and let them handle the prisoners.

“Little bumped and bruised from last night but takes more than that to lick us.  Woo, ya should’ve seen it, Johnny…”

“We were outnumbered but that shit in charge was crying for his mommy by the time Richard led him out of his house.  We got him, the Sheriff… both locked up for crimes against the people.  They were working on rounding up the rest of the folks loyal to them when I headed out.”  It was with a blissful smile she recounted, “It was a beautiful sight.”

“Now, course, we got to put the men up for trial.  I was all for quick and deadly but the boss says they deserve a fair trial too.”  

With a grin between the two men, she flicked off her hat, “Told him I knew just the place.”

And that was when she saw it, flashing between swirls of his fingers.  Robin had expected it, it still felt like a slap, but she grinned and shot off the hip, “Nice ring.  Finally found a lady to play house with?  Good for you.”

[a-darling-boy-blog]

John’s lips pressed into a thin line, his head slowly nodding to affirm Robin’s suspicion. “One rugrat to cause trouble, another on the way.” John’s eyes rolled to the ceiling, the man rocking from his heels to the balls of his feet as he slid his hands into his pocket. 

“I - so. Business.” John suddenly shot forward, an electrical shock straightening his spine as he sat down across from Robin. He shuffled papers around, finally tugging a tattered map out to place it before the pair. Crossing his arms, John leaned forward onto the desk, elbows bearing his weight as he looked at the yellowed paper below.

“Such glad tidings, hearing of the purge of Nottingham.” The words were hushed, something to fill the silence that now reverberated about the pair. John shifted uncomfortably. “But I am confused as to our purpose in the matter. Apparently you and your men have effectively flushed everything out. We are to escort someone in?” 

John glanced up from the map, eyebrows furrowing as he looked over Robin’s face. “And then once we escort them in, you’ll be a freed person?”  

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

Robin never thought she’d be here.

At least not in this position, sitting at one of the desks in the Sheriff’s office, boots kicked onto its surface.  Maybe a few steps to the right where the cells were but even then - she’d worked hard to keep a clean name here in Walt.  It had been nice, too.  It had been a long time before arriving there the first time since she had had a safe place to go.  Get a pint.  Chat with people.  All the things people without warrants hanging over their head could enjoy.

She wondered if she would ever learn to live this way…

It was crazy to think about, that as of noon that day Robin was no longer an outlaw.  Her name was clear… and she struggled with that.  She stared at a years old Wanted poster that was hanging on their wall.  It was part of her identity.  It was a integral part of her life and how she had lived it and formed herself around it.

She didn’t know what to do with herself now or what she was expected to become.

The trip back to Walt had taken a long time.  Years had been spent traveling the frontier, one town to another as she tried to do what she could.  This corner of the country never left her thoughts for long.  Guilt was an ever present emotion in her - because after everything and the promises she had made, she had left Nottingham to the will of the bad men.  She had practically handed them over without any chance of being rescued.

It kept her up at night.  It made her moody.  It made her sick.  It was a year and a half ago that Little John had confronted her and they had decided to return - but this time they would do things different.  They had worked, put all the ducks in a row so that Richard could storm back into the territory he had saved once before and as darkness fell the night before, he had taken Nottingham back, led by an army of outlaws.

No one was allowed in or out of the town so back up couldn’t be called in - Robin herself slipping out at first light at Richard’s command, the dust and sweat from the fight still clinging to her clothing.  The hat and duster the same though all else had finally deteriorated to the point they were more patch than anything else and had to be replaced.  She was waiting.  At first glance, she waited casually but it was that second glance that lay light to how her fingers drummed and her feet tapped, fidgeting as she waited for that door to open.

“Heya Johnny, miss me?”  She grinned in confidence but she looked over him, eyes taking in a sight she had missed, drinking him in.  “Ya ever think you’d see this?  Me, working with the law.”  

The legs of the chair found the floor with a thud and her feet swung around to the ground, Robin always moved with swagger and grace but she was still on her guard.  “I’d told you I’d be back and Robin Hood always keeps her promises.”

[a-darling-boy-blog]

Yes - but.

The words weren’t even capable of leaving his mouth, a hand coming up to his face as his finger twirled his wedding band. She was back. She was - oh. So very back. So very much Robin. Despite the years that had passed, she was just as true as his memories had painted, all wild fire and dusty storms. 

John suddenly composed himself, clearing his throat with a smile, hands clasping behind his back. “I would truly hope so. Even if was quite a bit of time. Enough time for so much to change.” His eyes had lost focus, the man transported back to memories that had been carefully filed away. The smile had softened, John blinking once again to look back at Robin.

“You are the one I am tasked to help?” John glanced behind him, glancing through the open door to the square behind him. Mickey knew what was happening. It certainly explained the pregnant pauses that had occurred during the conversation. “I do admit I hardly dabble outside of Walt anymore, I choose let the outlying towns tend to their own. I was quite surprised to hear of Nottingham requesting assistance from us.” John glanced back at Robin, his hands leaving from his back to land upon his hips.

“You look quite well, considering the circumstances.” John wrinkled his nose with the statement, attempting to shoot some levity into it. “The boys? Are they well as well?” 

It was so strange, simply conversing with her. As though they were distant friends who had spontaneously bumped into each other in some general store. John cleared his throat again, smile plastered upon his face as brushed the thoughts aside. 

[a-darling-boy-blog]

“Nottingham.”

John had paused when the word fell out of Mickey’s mouth, his eyebrows creasing together as he looked at the rock he was about to kick with his boot. The man sighed, his hands placed upon his hips as his eyes drew up, giving the Sheriff one long, hard look. 

“You know how I feel about that town.” The words were quiet, but loud enough to be heard over the town that was bursting about them. Little had changed in Walt in the past 5 years, the tiny town one that was quickly forgotten in an expanding frontier. People came and went. The core crowd remained.

“I am, John. But you can’t stop darting around it. I was asked to send a liaison to help escort a man back to the town, and I figured I’d send the one with the brains. Rather then - well. You know. The one scared of everything.” Mickey winced with the words, his hand scratching at his brow as he squinted in the sun. “Figured Walt would be fine without you. Seeing as not much can happen while you’re gone.” 

John rolled his head back, hands falling to his sides as no argument rose. He knew that he had to do it. Didn’t mean he had to be happy about it. “What about Belle?”

“She’ll be fine. The scruff rat too. Even the one on the way.” Mickey’s mouth jutted up in a smile, knowing full well that he had won the Deputy over with little resistance. But the smile fell away, eyebrows furrowing. It was uncharacteristic of the Sheriff. But something that John had missed. 

“They sent someone from their end too, John. Someone to help you with the backroads. Knows them better then you, figured you’d get lost unless you had one of their own.” Mickey touched John’s arm briefly, grabbing his attention before motioning to the office across the square. “Just.” The Sheriff stopped mid sentence, and John glanced back at him, eyebrows high. Mickey then smiled. “You’ll be fine. Just be nice.” 

John nodded, hands thrown into his pockets as he trekked across the dusty space to shoulder into the office. 

It was a shock of red hair. That was what seared into his mind at first. That shock that electrocuted his spine, the man pausing mid step, jaw falling open in shock. 

“Robin?” 

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

Robin was so happy and so warm.  It was baffling to her how those things could feel so scary.  If she had hated it, if all her emotions had been spent while they were together so she were free - it was far preferable to how she felt now.  Elated, high, happy - and steeling herself to leave it all behind.  It tainted every thing she felt, turning it into something negative.  Her body finding its resting place against John, she could have so easily fallen asleep there.  The thought of drifting off with him surrounding her completely so peaceful… 

She was leaving this, a man that cared so deeply, for… what?

They didn’t know where they were going, what they would do next.  Could she blamed for taking an extra second to sink into something solid and firm like John before venturing into the unknown?

“Wasn’t expecting that.”  She whispered, lifting her head up to smirk at him.  “You’re making this real hard…”  But she didn’t blame him, pulling herself up to roll him to his back.  Her elbow on the mattress to prop her on her side, Robin traced his collarbone in the dark.  John Darling was, and always had been, a bad idea - but like all of her bad ideas, she stood by it.  “This ain’t the end.  Ya said you wouldn’t say goodbye so I won’t make you… soon as the air clears, I’ll be back.”

There was no telling how long that would be.  They both knew the law, even if from either sides of it, and they both knew tonight had been a breaking point.  The line clear in the sand and in the name of survival, Robin had taken a flying leap over it.

[a-darling-boy-blog]

“I’m making this hard?”

John glanced up at Robin, the shadows once again dancing across the pair as wind picked up outside. A hand darted up, cupping her face briefly before falling away. And John sighed. It was probably the saddest sound in the world. 

“How long will I have to wait?” 

He knew she couldn’t answer that question, that Robin didn’t work in the frame of time that he did. But he knew that when he woke in the morning he had no direction. Was he to sit back, watch the horizon for a triumphant return? Or were these just mumbled promises made in the dark, made at first with good intentions but quickly abandoned? 

Was John to wait? Or return to living?

His hand darted up to Robin’s, clasping hers to stop its movement. 

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

It was without her usual confidence that they went forward but his touch, but the feel of him as he moved inside her, it inspired her.  It brought her fingers in tight to his skin, digging in between the muscles that this life had brought him, and a gasp into her mouth.  Perhaps losing herself but Robin would have never used the term.  She knew exactly where she was and exactly what she was giving over as she would bring up her hips to meet his.

How was she supposed to walk away?

Giving in to this, going under with him and letting them have one night that was all theirs to share, it did nothing to soothe the want she felt.  No matter how tightly she held onto him, no matter how deeply he went, no matter how amazing she made him felt, it only made her need it more.

She wanted a next time.  A tomorrow.  She wanted to wake up here and do it again.  She wanted all these things and more and not a single one of them could she have.

It made every moment bittersweet and every time her eyes would shut, Robin would force them open so she could see him.  She could make him a permanent etching in her mind.  She wanted to make this a part of John’s life worth remembering - not only tonight but her and every messy detail that had went into it.  Her feet planted hard into the bed and her head pressed deep into the pillow, she gave everything she had to him until she couldn’t resist it anymore.

The back of her hand muffling the noises that accompanied her finishing, Robin let herself go.

[a-darling-boy-blog]

John’s response was quick, the man powerless to her as she clenched around him. His own face buried into her neck, heart pounding hard as he bit any noises from exploding from his body. He tumbled quickly from his high, arms wrapping around Robin’s neck, an exhaustion passing over him as his heart beat in his ears. 

A few brief moments of silence passed, and John finally raised his head, glancing over to the sleeping form of Wendy and Michael. It was a miracle that the two had hardly stirred. Haltingly, John withdrew, lying beside Robin with a soft sigh. The raging heat he had felt moments earlier was simply warmth now, almost a chill passing over him as the cool night began to settle about them. A hand darted up to wipe at his forehead.

Would she leave now?

John glanced down at Robin, unsure if the same flush that colored her cheeks colored his own. She wasn’t allowed to go. The thought made the man move his tired bones, arms wrapping around the woman to draw her to his chest. She couldn’t simply leave after all of this. John’s lips dropped to the top of Robin’s head, a long kiss pressed against her hair, eyes falling shut as he felt her curled up against him. 

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

Meeting John was a fluke.  It was something not meant to happen, something not meant to be pushed, something never meant to be felt.  He was a trip up in the long list of successes Robin would tell you she had accrued.  He had distracted her from her mission.  He had set the pieces in motion that sent her from her home.  She was putting all of it on the line to be there with him now.  Love was a tricky, clumsy emotion and she had fallen into it with the same amount of grace… but then, as she caught the noises that would bubble up in her throat with her teeth against her lips, it was worth every risk.

She gripped an arm tight around his neck as he laid her down on the bed, heavy eyes staring up at him.  Her chest rose with every hard breath she took, a desperation for him growing with increased speed, and she almost sighed in frustration when he pulled away.  

Consent on her tongue as she raised up on her elbows and let it slip into his mouth, tasting his mouth before letting it trail.  It found its home on the base of his ear, whispering so soft there was no way any but him could ever hear her, she pleaded with him to have her completely.  Once promising no person would ever hear her beg, she broke it happily with him as she pulled him back down with her until her back hit the mattress.

[a-darling-boy-blog]

It was all he needed.

A soft sigh sounded as he finally delved, his lips a flurry of soft brushed across her skin as she enveloped him. It was slow, almost hesitant, as his hips began to move within Robin. But he had to stifle the groan that grew in his chest as his actions quickened, the warmth that grew in his core igniting with each thrust. John took both of his arms, dropping them beside Robin’s upper body and sliding them beneath her, drawing her closer as he began to keep pace.

Exertion began to break out upon his brow, the need to remain silent fighting the need to vocalize his love. His mouth fell to Robin’s shoulder, another attempt to keep a moan from blossoming from it. 

This was what he wanted. 

The was what he wanted.

This was what he was losing.

His arms tightened around Robin in response, his thrusts driving deeper and deeper into the woman as though he wished to lose himself there. It was never possible. But he always wanted the improbable. Because he never let himself dare to think that the improbable was possible. But as John Darling lost himself into the Thief of Lockley, he sorely wished that he could abandon it all. 

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

It seemed where her knowledge failed her, her instincts filled the gaps.  Robin lived a life of risks but none both frightened her and was needed for her as this one.  Left exposed to the heat, her pale skin nearly shone.  It was scarred and it was beaten but John touched as if it was the finest silk.

Before the sun rose, she would be gone and who knew if she would be able to return.  As they lay there in his bed, Robin pushing him back against the mattress with hands that searched out the buttons and buckles of his attire, men searched for her.  They readied their ropes to send her to her final farewell - and should they not catch her now, they would continue their search.  This was not camp her now and John was another thing added to the list of her sacrifices.

She had given up everything and though their actions might be looked down on, might not be the actions of the civilized people, they were owed this.  It was the least they could be given for letting each other go for the people that needed them.

So silent they moved, memorizing that which they would not have again.  Robin committed his jaw to memory with a brush of his lips.  His arms hollowed out a place around her that she believed would always be felt.  It was all new and she reveled in it with an ecstatic wonder.

Forgetting that they would never have this again was easy.  Her mind ridding itself of everything but John and the now as her hips moved with careful pleas.

[a-darling-boy-blog]

John was entirely too absorbed in Robin to allow rational though even a foothold in his mind. She was gorgeous. Far too gorgeous to be forgotten. John knew that something would shift in him after this night, but he also knew that he was more then willing to allow the shift to occur. It would be worth every ounce of pain that he would feel thereafter. His hands couldn’t leave her, gliding up her back brushing over ridges of scars and marks. He couldn’t stop tasting her, his mouth leaving her’s to delve into the valley of her neck, his lips brushing along her collarbones before settling in the center of her chest.

She had to feel him underneath her, and he felt his body rise under her hips with his own careful plea. His arms wrapped themselves around her waist, and John drew Robin close, pressing her against him. His lips had stopped moving, his eyes closed. Deeply, once, John breathed Robin in. He wanted to commit it to memory, wanted it so vividly painted in his mind that she would never become a shadow of a memory. 

John rolled with Robin, pulling the woman beneath him, drawing her apart with his own legs as he kept one arm beneath the small of her back. He held himself up with the other arm, his elbow beside her face, hand tousling itself with the red flare that was her hair. Drawing himself back, his eyes darted across her face. And propriety set in, the man pausing in his actions, waiting for permission from Robin before proceeding any further. 

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

Her boots slid under the blankets, feeling his legs, chest, at her back.  It was a moment more intimate than any she had experienced in these past years, perhaps before.  In truth, so much of it seemed so fuzzy.  It was a life that she couldn’t connect to.  She had long forgot how safety felt.  Her stomach constantly rumbled.  

Anything else was foreign.

It was all a bit emotional… they knew what was coming.  It was the only way this could have worked, as he had said.  “Maybe… could have been… you could’ve taken off with me.  We’d go all over the West.”  Tilting her head back, looking up at his profile, she gave a, “Ya still could.” though she knew he wouldn’t.  Maybe couldn’t - family ties was another of those things she know longer really understood.

“Guess I should be thanking ya - for hearin’ me out yesterday… and for…”  Robin rolled to her back, reaching up to his face, “I had half forgot I even was a woman ‘til you reminded me of it.”  Slipping her hand up his face, she raised her face up to kiss him.  

[a-darling-boy-blog]

John’s smile widened at Robin’s maybe’s, and simply grew at her could’s. She knew better. But it was reassuring to hear that she still wished for a chance, that one strange little luck to slide through to right everything. Everything in John wanted to glance over to the sleeping forms of Wendy and Michael, but he glanced down at Robin instead. Time with her was limited. They would always be there. Like Robin’s men - they would always be there for Robin. 

John felt words rise at Robin’s thanks, knowing fully well that there was no thanks to be given. He supposed he was attempting to do that exact thing before, with his kind words and polite actions. As Robin’s lips caught his own John’s eyebrows flew up - there was a different heat to this touch, something driving it more then the soft affection that was shown back in the cave. And, instinctively, John felt himself fall into her lips, breathing her in deeply as his hand caught her face to draw her in closer. His free hand wrapped around her waist, and boldly drew herself against himself. They were all actions that John did not know he had possessed, but Robin ignited a fire in his belly that wished to make her his own. 

Deepening the kiss, John rolled to bring Robin on top of him, his hands both now landing upon her hips to settle her on top of him. Breaking the kiss, John drew back to glance the woman over, unsure of what was to happen next. But his hands apparently knew, sliding beneath the shirt that she wore, his hands pressing into the warmth of her skin as he softly sighed. 

It was the night for maybe’s and could’s, right?

John rose up, capturing Robin’s lips with a renewed intensity, his hands wrapping around the fabric that surrounding the girl. He tugged it, pulling the dusty clothing away from her body to allow the night shine upon it. 

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

The desert was vast, offering plenty of places to hide for a few hours, and Robin stayed to them all that day.  The devils himself couldn’t have found her - though one in particular came close more than once.  The rest of her men sent on ahead but she had one last visit to make, and there was no way she could make it in the blazing sun.

Escaping had been as hard as she imagined, making it out bruised and bloody, but she had made it out.  In the end, that was all that mattered.  She had escaped the clutches of the men that wanted to kill her and John didn’t have to take the fall.  It was an even trade.

Surely he would have heard by now, this wasn’t a visit to tell them of their victory…

But after everything, she had things to say.

She slipped into the room without a sound, instantly bathed in darkness.  Beds in use.  Curtains drawn.  Bedtime had come to the Darling home away from home.

Slipping up onto his bed, Robin balanced herself on the rough wood of the foot, trying to rustle him from his sleep with her boot.  She quieted him as he woke, startled, and she gave a sly grin.  They didn’t need to wake up anyone else.  “I have a story for you.”  She whispered.  “My last one for a while so… I figure I’ll make it good…”

“My parents had this farm, little bit of a thing,”  She finally began, her voice lighter as she went back to a time she rarely visited.  It was a time before prison escapes, before piracy.  It was simple… she wasn’t always happy but it was easy and she had what she needed to get by.  “It fed us… what money we had came from it.  My da, he taught me to hunt though my mother hated it.  She wanted me to be gentle, ladylike, marry up, so she taught me things like dancing and Latin.  This older gent in town asked to marry me, I’m all of sixteen so its time and so my parents said alright.  Real boring man… would’ve been awful…”

Only one other person knew this story, another John that muscled his way into her good graces, but after all they had went through - her Johnny deserved to know.  “Then the railroad came through.  These men came out to our little bit of land, wanting to buy it, and my dad refused.  It was all we had to survive and they weren’t interested in payin’ near what we needed.”  She swallowed, looking over at him through the darkness, able to make out his features with her eyes adjusting to the darkness.  “They got real aggressive so my da went to the Sheriff, told him what was happening, and he assured him that all was alright.  He was gonna take care of it.”

“I went out into the woods, stayed there a couple days, thinkin’ everything was alright.  He had said so.  He said they would be okay.”  Robin still grew angry, every time she thought of it.  Her blood would boil and her voice caught that steel edge of fury and pain that came with all betrayal and all the heavy loss.  “I was bringing them a rabbit, a nice plump one I’d got, and when I walked in… da had put up a fight but they both had been shot… the railroad company put up a good bid for their land, the tracks went through… and the small town Sheriff started ridin’ the finest mare I’d ever seen in my life…”

Robin could shoot a deer between the eyes from 50 yards… but when they needed her, she wasn’t there to protect them.  That guilt never left her, if anything it kept her going.  “No one was there to keep them safe… and I swore on the heavens, I would do everything I could to keep that from happenin’ to anyone else.”  Her eyes fell, landing on her clasped hands in all her vulnerability.  “Figure you risked a lot, Johnny, ya deserve the whole package.”

[a-darling-boy-blog]

It was a dream, at first, when he saw Robin’s shadowed form at the edge of his bed. It was a terribly cruel dream, one that he cursed his mind for forming. But the words were none of his own, and as he rubbed sleep from his mind John came to the slow realization that she truly was there. His eyes fluttered to the round forms that were Wendy and Michael asleep, waiting for one to stir with the noise. But not a thing moved. And Robin continued to speak.

Robin told her tale. It was different then the others ones, the hero shattered rather then exalted. He rolled onto his back, watching the shadows trace shapes upon the ceiling, absorbing every word that came from the small woman. His eyes fell shut with the ending. Then finally, the man pushed himself up on his elbow, holding the sheet up for the woman to lie beside him - all of her, her dusty boots, her twirling coats, her tired bones. As she laid down, John drew her to his chest, arms encircling the girl with his cheek upon her head.

“You owe me nothing,” John finally whispered, eyes falling shut as he felt her against him. “You deserve the world, and more.” John smiled with the statement, vaguely aware that Robin properly believed that she had exactly that. She had a freedom that John could never comprehend. He was tied down by too much. The smile faltered, a sadness watering it’s shine. “Perhaps another place, another time, this would have been completely different.” 

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

“There could be one other way…”

It was after a long moment of silence that she finally spoke up again.  It was a long shot but it was possible, and would keep all the pieces right where they needed to be.  No one had to suffer… except maybe the Sheriff of Nottingham himself.  He would be punished, more than likely lose the position.  Robin doubted a better person would take the position but they couldn’t get worse - that was saying something.

“This far out - it’ll take a day or two to get a judge to sign the hanging papers.”  She kissed him again, this one more joyful as a real plan began to hatch.  With John on their side, there was more they could do.  With John on her side, she was ready to pull the best, most clever, most dangerous offense they had.  Robin smiled as she let him go.  “You’re brilliant.  We fix it all… well not all, but a lot.”

To the cave entrance, she shouted out for the other John to come in and rushed back. 

“The midnight shift change in Nottingham.”  Neither of them knew where she was going with it yet but she announced it like the solution to all their problems.  “We use it all the time to get in and out on drop offs.”

“Cover your ears if ya don’t want to hear, Johnny…”  She warned with a pointing his way.  “Midnight shift change, I am breaking out of Nottingham prison.”  

Robin looked between them for support.  “Ya can get them all mobilized, John.  Send out a couple to start scouting for camps, the rest come and get me.  I’ll be waiting.”

Her arms out in front of her, she nodded, “I’m ready to go, Sheriff.  It’s all in luck’s hands now.”

[a-darling-boy-blog]

John watched as Robin bounced about the cave, a renewed sense of hope shining from her face. But John swore that he wore the same look that the other John had upon his face - confusion, albeit slightly amused. Robin seemed pretty convinced she had found a secret way out. But as soon as she mentioned being taken to the Sheriffs, John’s hands flew out in protest.

“I don’t -” John looked at John to help with his case, but the man seemed pretty distrustful of the deputy sheriff. For obvious reasons. John couldn’t fault the man for that. John placed his hands upon Robin’s, voice dropping low as if it were for her ears only. “I don’t feel comfortable - “ Hell, he hadn’t felt comfortable in a long while. But the idea of Robin being jailed, behind enemy lines as it were, made his stomach roll with worry. 

But John had learned something quite quickly. If Robin wanted something, she simply took it. And if John didn’t take her to the Sheriff, something told him she’d ensure that she was delivered somehow.

Quietly, a final sigh of defeat sounded from John, the man placing a quick kiss upon Robin’s forehead before turning to face the cave’s exit. One hand firmly wrapped around her upper arm, John led his fugitive to his faithful steed, doing precisely what the girl was asking from him.

John turned to face Robin, hands upon her hips to help her up onto the horse. He held her at first, eyes locking. “You will get out,” John stated with resolve, ignoring the crowd of men that had gathered to see the events unfold. 

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

Well that… that was news… Robin nearly looking away from his tears.  She couldn’t bear this… she should have got on his horse with him and made a break for it when the time was right.  That was the plan, a plan made even more difficult now as she faced a hurting man, and her own emotions.

[a-darling-boy-blog]

This wasn’t the time, or the place, but if it could maybe reassure him… she reached up with dirty fingers to wipe his cheek and the tears before pulling his head down to meet hers.  Softly, she kissed him, she told him about her feelings with an action… it did no one any good to face it but he had brought it on.  It was unable to be ignored now.

Breaking for air, Robin looked up at him and said with all honesty, “I don’t play games.  You weren’t a game.  This whole life - as serious as sin.  And I don’t do this to win.”  There was no winning.  She was heading to the gallows from the start, who was she to worry about winning?  “All I want is to help people that can’t help themselves.”  It was really that simple, it was all she was worried about and all she thought about.

It was an obsession that fueled her life.  It took food from her mouth and a roof from her head.  She never doubted it though.  She never thought it wrong, and still didn’t.

“And I think you’re very good… and I think Mickey is a good Sheriff.  All evil sheriffs are the law but not all the law are evil Sheriffs… but you got to obey jurisdictions.  Ya can’t help everyone so I picked up the slack in the places y’all can’t reach.”  She chanced a smile, not sure how it would be picked up.  “Hell, all I got to do is keep out the real thieves from Walt ‘cause y’all keep things fair.”  No one messed with places under Robin’s protection.

“I’ve never kept a dime what I took.”  She promises, her head against his.  “I’ve only tried to help people.  Do ya really think I’m a bad person?  Do ya really think I deserve to die?”

He couldn’t - Robin - 

John’s mind whirled, his hands on her shoulders to push her back. And he looked at her - truly looked at her. This was insanity, a swirling whirlwind that he had managed to stoke up with a few questions to the wrong people. He should have come straight to her. But his mind was twisted, betrayal something so sweetly strong that he was practically blinded by it. 

But good could not be bad. And bad could not be good. It was what was beaten into him for years, what the stories always stressed. The bad guys always lost. Always, without fail, ended up stumbling and falling hard. 

Robin could not be bad. It just - it made his brain so fuzzy. And, oh god, the Sheriffs were only a few steps away, waiting for him to return. 

John’s hands lifted from Robin’s shoulders, softly cupping her face, thumbs darting across her cheeks with the lightest of touch. 

“I - I messed it all up,” John finally mumbled, a feeling of loss rushing into his core as he framed Robin’s face with his hands. He couldn’t be sheriff after this. Lord knew what would happen to Michael and Wendy once he stepped down. But this was not going to stand once he returned without her. 

“You have to take your men and leave. Not all of them. John. Will. Your close few. I’ll tell them that you weren’t here, that you were gone. I’ll - I’ll find a reason.” John’s jaw clenched at the idea of returning to the Nottingham man, especially empty handed. It would not end well. Mickey would know exactly what would have happened. Which was why John knew the moment he stepped out of the cave, there would be no more Deputy Sheriff John.

“I’ll say that they gave me a run around. It would be believable. It’s easy to lead me astray.” Especially when one’s mind was so easily clouded by love. It was love, right? It was different then what flared for Belle, much more deeper then that. John sighed hard, his eyes falling shut again as his forehead dropped to hers. If Robin left again, he doubted she would be quick to return. And that ache would throb even worse with the realization that he was the one who pushed her out.

“I refuse to say goodbye,” John finally whispered, his head shaking against Robin’s. “There has to be a way to fix this all.”

[not-as-good-as-robinhood]

“I know.”

If John was expecting anything else other than complete acceptance of her fate, of her life, he would be mistaken.  From day one, Robin knew how this would all end.  She had weighed it from all sides in the beginning, when her options were laid out ahead of her and she had to make her choice.  It had been in the pile of negatives but it had been there and she had knew that it was the only end to her story.

“I made sure it was worth it…”  She had said they were coming in here to plead their case, and that was the honest to goodness truth.  Robin ready to appeal to the one man she knew that might give her a fair shake.

It was the fear that made her silent.  She had done everything she did to get to this point and now… she was terrified.  She didn’t want to die and was scared of what would happen to her after.

She couldn’t tell the men out there how she felt, the Sheriffs did not care, and John - she had burned that bridge and Robin doubted anything she did would be believed.  “I’m okay with it, if it happens, but…”  She breathed in, throwing her hat to the side in a surge of emotion.  “If I die, a lot of people will be hurt… not here, I promised and I stay by my word,”  She was quick to reassure.  “But there, in Nottingham.  In Walt.”

It was desperation that reminded her, a memory that seemed eons ago, clasping her jacket firmly in shaking hands.  That was why he was here, that was why they sent him, because them sending John to get here took her to her brink - and she hated them as she stared at her trembling fingers.  “The stories.  The first one.  The man came in and destroyed those people, they were starving… he used the law to enforce his stealing those people’s money…”  She looked up at him.  “Where did I tell ya that story took place?”

“There are people out there that ain’t good and they get into law because there ain’t no one to police them.  They line their pockets and abuse the people they’re supposed ta help… who protects those people, John?  The ones that can’t trust the law ta do it?”

“I do… and who protects them if I’m gone?”

[a-darling-boy-blog]

It took everything in John not to fall when Robin uttered those two first words.

She knew. She knew this was how it was going to go. 

And as more words tumbled, more words came out of the woman John felt his head shake. It was - no. Not real. Those stories of pirates and bad men, they were simply stories from a beautiful mind that put Wendy’s imagination to shame. 

“So I’m not good?” 

John felt the question spring out of him, the realization at who Robin viewed as good and bad as plain as black and white. He was the bad guy. The mean man who stole from the poor to give to the rich, apparently. And he was still playing the part as the fiddling bad man, bringing the other evil people to whisk the heroic knight away. John felt the first of tears water his eyes, hands leaping up to rest upon his forehead in frustration.

“I protect them, Robin!” He finally cried out, wanting to go back before everything, before Robin felt the need to drag herself into such a life that ended so unhappily. “It is not your right to decide what is right and wrong. You have to have faith that good will win, not take up black arms yourself and become the pirates. Pirates never win!” John wanted to shake the girl, try to make the morality compass point north again.

“So many people want you dead, do you realize this? Rich people, people who can easily ensure that you and your merry little clan of men are wiped away forever. But you - you kept doing it! Even when you knew it was wrong!” John’s hands fell to his side, mind blank of anything else to say. 

“And you let me fall for you anyway. Was that simply a game as well?” Words were soft, the man no longer letting the tears hold back anymore.