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@a-magical-bargain
oli, back at it again with a new promo! i’ve shoved all my current muses into this pretty little blog, with a few new ones added on in!!! so if you’re interested in interacting with a new multi-fandom multi-muse, please give this a like and/or reblog so i can check you out!
♥ rules ♥ muses ♥ ask ♥
Best girl, @ me about it-
Someone: yells at/scolds me
Me,coping the only way I know how:
me: [lying] honestly
from the dark past.
Like / Reblog this post if you are interested in RPing with my OC Emiko: a failed experiment, energy drink mascot and a skaterghoul!
catholic guilt + anti-war + general horniness = my chemical romance
send me ‘ mistletoe ’ for my muse’s response to being underneath mistletoe with your muse. specify whether it’s accidental or on purpose.
kindredkinless:
Lyall did not, in fact, have a reason. Though he certainly acted like he did, Lyall was mostly just trying to annoy the dear shopkeeper. He’d always been good at improvising, so he’d come up with a passable excuse sooner or later. For now, he just needed to stall. He needed time to think.
“It’s not even that cold,” Lyall sighed, running a hand through his hair and shaking his head in mock exasperation. “Jeez, you really need to chill out a bit. If the cold is buggin’ you that much, you can wear my jacket. I promise it doesn’t smell that bad.” Lyall himself was hardly wearing more than his jacket to begin with, but he had never seemed particularly bothered by cold weather.
“‘Chill out’. Ha. Funny.” She retreated further into her scarf, her shoulders hunched up as she considered the offer - at first a scowl appeared on her face before the thought of being warmer finally won her over. “Fine, give it here. But if I get fleas I’m blaming you.” She reached out towards him with grabby hands, sticking her tongue out at him.
‘Is this just an excuse to get him to wear less clothes?’ Came the rather intrusive thought, a thought that was instantly ignored as Val’s ears flicked in dismissal.
“You still haven’t answered my question as well. Where are we going?”
found a neat key at work! I wonder what it opens 🤔
‘ why do tattoos cost so much? i’m paying you to injure me. ’ from damien ! rehugidkfjv
@pasttorn | more popular text posts
“Ink costs a lot of money dude. Besides, people pay good money to get hurt you know. Sometimes as a kink thing, other times just to feel something…” She thinks for a moment, giving Damien a look.
“Maybe you should set up a business of beating people up at school. I’m fairly certain I know quite a few people who’d pay to be punched in the face by you. It’d be a pretty lucrative thing to take on… if you don’t mind punching a few perverts and masochists.”
( * &. – MORE POPULAR TEXT POSTS.
‘ i’m a snack but everyone seems to be on a diet. ’ ‘ i’m gonna replace every bone in my body with a knife, if someone punches me they’re in for a surprise (the knife) ’ ‘ let me just flirt with you and be a brat and send you cute half nudes. ’ ‘ blue-flavored candy is always the best flavor of candy like what the fuck. blue raspberries aren’t even a thing. we are literally eating the color blue as a flavor and it’s fucking magical. ’ ‘ touch id is pissing me off. ‘try again’ the fuck? it’s me with a lil chicken grease. ’ ‘ call me in the middle of the night and tell me you can’t sleep without me. ’ ‘ healthy relationships with fathers? sounds fake. ’ ‘ me to my alarm in the morning: i was literally sleeping but go off i guess. ’ ‘ do i blame my zodiac sign or my childhood traumas or both ’ ‘ *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* i cannot believe this asshole didn’t use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable. ’ ‘ my specialty: the accidental 12 hour nap in broad daylight ’ ‘ quiet little moans while making out is the hottest thing ever ’ ‘ date somebody who will go on a road trip with you to see america’s 10 most haunted places ’ ‘ any vampires who need permission to enter my house…. you have my permission… you wanna come through my window in a flurry of fog and wind? you can do that… wanna drink my blood and take me away to your big vampire castle? alright friend, go for it ’ ‘ i’m the guy from the lady and the tramp who gives stray dogs pasta and stands in an alleyway playing an accordion for them ’ ‘ *nervously calls crush bro* ’ ‘ i don’t have trust issues. i have ‘seen that shit happen before my own eyes’ issues. ’ ‘ fuck summer. i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october. ’ ‘ concept: we are holding each other in bed, we look at each other and know that all that waiting all that distance was worth it to be close now ’ ‘ i’m so lucky to have gotten to watch you grow so much this past year. i’m so proud of you. ’ ‘ i’m so protective of me now, i’ll cut somebody off for simply having the wrong energy ’ ‘ why are you trying to make me horny. bitch, you know i’m making macaroni. ’ ‘ date a boy who curls up on your lap, even though he is 6’2" because he loves cuddles ’ ‘ going out on a date is cool and all; but what about simply sharing a bed with someone, listening to music and discovering everything about one another, together. ’ ‘ we are drunk and i ended up sitting on the bathroom counter with my legs wrapped around you, but when i wrote ‘marry me’ on your hand with a sharpie, i wasn’t joking. ’ ‘ you’re equivalent to my favorite color. you’re the human version of what is safe. ’ ‘ one of the most toxic things i’ve ever done is ignore the bad in someone because i love them. ’ ‘ you think you want me to shut up? i have to listen to myself even when i’m not talking ’ ‘ why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had your back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary. ’ ‘ i like wearing your clothes. they smell like you and your scent is home to me. ’ ‘ *therapist voice* you are stupid and gay. ’ ‘ i like to blame myself for everything just in case. ’ ‘ the realist thing you can do for me is keep your word. ’ ‘ love yourself enough to set boundaries. your time and energy are precious. ’ ‘ i haven’t done anything but i sure could use a break. ’ ‘ sometimes you just need to hear how much you mean to someone. ’ ‘ who needs april fools. my entire life is a joke. ’ ‘ i wish i could be near you, my heart misses you. ’ ‘ i’m not trying my hardest but i’m very tired which i think should be taken into consideration. ’ ‘ me @ me: don’t start buddy don’t you dare. ’ ‘ so what’s next? you heal. you grow. and you help others. ’ ‘ my kink is not setting an alarm for the next morning. ’ ‘ if you think i’m cute send me money. ’ ‘ one day i will take a good selfie and you will be sorry….. you will all be sorry. ’ ‘ not a day passes where i don’t embarrass myself but it’s ok because i’m on the path to destroy my ego so i won’t be embarrassed anymore. ’ ‘ there is no reason not to love with you whole heart. ’ ‘ i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years. ’ ‘ sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and send that text. ’ ‘ ‘i can see your nipples through that shirt’ first of all stop being ungrateful. ’ ‘ so much is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s too much!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to sleep in the forest for 190 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m tired leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ’ ‘ i heard you like bad girls. well i’m bad….. at everything. ’ ‘ yes, i am fully aware that I’m The Worst™ but i still wanna be like……. loved and stuff. ’ ‘ i really am, from the bottom of my heart, an actual fucking idiot. ’ ‘ let me show you just how good i can be. ’ ‘ i’m just tryna chill on a beach somewhere at 3 am. ’ ‘ i have a serious weakness for thigh grabbing and hickeys. ’ ‘ i’m a snail and god is salting me. ’ ‘ i hate texting people who don’t use a billion emojis and a trillion exclamation points in their messages. just say you hate me and want me to die. ’ ‘ being called baby?????? holding hands????!? being KISSED?!!!?!??????? ’ ‘ i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years. ’ ‘ my heart busts a nut every time someone tells me they saw something and they thought of me. ’ ‘ i have hella heart eyes for you. ’ ‘ you’re cute. i wanna kiss you for a whole hour. ’ ‘ it’s pretty iconic to like yourself. ’ ‘ i am so jealous of animals that get to hibernate, like what the fuck, why can’t i just sleep for four months and then return to real life. ’ ‘ stop feeling sad and acting weird you bitch (the bitch is me) ’ ‘ i’m still obsessed with you like it’s day one. ’ ‘ to quote hamlet act iii scene iii line 92, ‘no’. ’ ‘ i would have a cuter room if i wasn’t a goblin who threw all her shit on the floor. ’ ‘ on two hours of sleep i’m either way too happy or violently homicidal. ’ ‘ let’s go on a date and by date i mean lay in bed and make out for three hours. ’ ‘ alphabet soup. more like times new ramen am i right. ’ ‘ tbh it’s okay if no one else thinks i’m funny because i think i’m a riot. ’ ‘ catching feelings is bullshit. i’m just eating french fries, why i gotta think about kissing you? fuck you. ’ ‘ smiling is so weird like you stretch your eating hole to show happiness. ’ ‘ self care is putting absurd amounts of parmesan cheese on your pasta. ’ ‘ you didn’t go through all of that for nothing. ’ ‘ get you a girl who loses her shit every time you send a selfie. ’ ‘ i wish i could be there to take care of you right now. ’ ‘ home is where the heart is and my heart has always belonged to you. ’ ‘ i just wanna have soft glowy skin, long eyelashes, pink lips, rosy cheeks, lots of cash, and no responsibilities. ’ ‘ ok but platonic forehead kisses. ’ ‘ my heart is guarded but like… very poorly. the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an r-rated movie. ’ ‘ what doesn’t kill me doesn’t kill me (unfortunately). ’ ‘ do you ever look at a boy and wonder if he moans as pretty as he looks. ’ ‘ life tip: if nothing goes right go to sleep. ’ ‘ by cute do you mean you wanna frick frack or do you mean i look 12? ’ ‘ cats are very pickupable and i think that was a really good choice on their part. ’ ‘ don’t depend on anyone. handle your own shit. ’ ‘ there isn’t one alternate reality where i didn’t fall in love with you. ’ ‘ being my ex must be the worst thing. imagine losing me? ’ ‘ if i say ‘backstreet’s back’ and you do not say ‘ALRIGHT!’ we’re not friends. burn in hell, you sick fuck. ’ ‘ i love every cat in the entire world. every cat on the planet. if there are any cats in outer space, i love them too. ’ ‘ my mom is really that bitch and i’m that bitch jr. ’ ‘ you know you’re fucked when their voice turns you on. ’ ‘ don’t look at my fucking boner when we fight. ’ ‘ not all heroes wear capes. a lot of them wear collars and are called dogs. ’ ‘ it’s you. it will always be you. ’ ‘ why do tattoos cost so much? i’m paying you to injure me. ’ ‘ thank you for being the biggest light in my life and saving me from the darkness. ’
like/reblog if u are:
a bitch
a bastard
an all around fool
an omnipresent all-powerful being
a sparrow
c̵͙̳͕̈͛ụ̷̔r̸̗͎̽̓͗͜s̴̨̈́̿͘e̸͍̰̜͊̈́d̵̛̫̙͍͝͝
capable of moving at immense, incomprehensible speeds
an eldritch being
no one will know which one u chose! :D
everytime I start drinking some cool water i have to physically restrain myself from just chugging a good 16 oz right then and there like my animal instincts kick in and my brain is like WE HAVE FOUND STREAM. DRINK FROM RIVER, CLEAN, DELICIOUS. DRINK ALL YOU CAN. like dude no I have a fucking brita filter
i know that you wanna swing your hips in the solar eclipse and watch this new day rise
