* ABLUVION `

[aabluviion-blog]

outta. guess who might be returning to this blog after a long two years, it’s me i’m terrible

[milkyyyart]

kaneki ken and shinji are my problematic faves

[feat]

is pushing people away considered a special talent because i think i’m really good at it 

[aabluviion-blog]

debating whether or not to literally delete everything & start over or move to another blog although that’s a bit of a huge hassle -- opinions? suggestions? kinda feel like everything is extremely messy & it’s nagging at me. may just drop some stuff & continue with a few threads i have going ----

[shelflife-witch]

Finding people to rp with nowadays is like trying to apply for a job, and that’s really sad.

You need to have experience, but to get experience you need to roleplay?

People are literally sending out resumes 

Roleplayers are getting really clique-y, and I thought tumblr hated cliques and exclusive stuff? What is with pretending you’re better than someone else because your blog looks nicer or you’re somewhat better at writing? Get off your high horse you squidjelly. 

[crimsondeath]

repeat after me, kids:

BEING A SELECTIVE OR EXCLUSIVE BLOG IS NOT A BAD THING.

YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO ROLEPLAY WITH ANYONE.

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO CHOOSE.

and yeah you know what that means? it means sometimes people will choose not to roleplay with you. it means sometimes people are gonna prefer someone else’s portrayal over yours. but it also means that there are probably people who would prefer yours over someone else’s. and that’s fine. you are allowed to have preferences. you are allowed to choose. you are allowed to restrict yourself to as many or as few people as you’d like. you are allowed to have a group of friends and stick to them.

and you know what? sometimes people are better than you. there are always gonna be people who are better than you at something, for a multitude of reasons. (like my girlfriend’s been knitting for years and i started like last month – she is objectively better than me, but she’s also never drawn and i’ve been drawing for a decade so???) there are people who have been doing it for longer. there are people who are just objectively more skilled at it. telling them that they don’t deserve to have their talent and hard work recognized and that they don’t deserve to get more attention than people who barely just started/are objectively less skilled is doing them a huge disservice and putting them down. telling them to ‘get off their high horse’ because their blog ‘looks nicer’ or because they ‘write better’ is a super rude thing to say – not to mention how shitty it is for their self-esteem. some people are actually proud of the work they’ve accomplished and how their efforts paid off, and telling them they’re just full of themselves is damaging to them and to the community as a whole. people are allowed to be proud of themselves. don’t twist their satisfaction with their hard work to make them feel bad about themselves, that does no one but yourself any favors.

and remember: ‘will roleplay with anybody’ does not mean ‘will roleplay with everybody’.

[skellydun]

hell yeah: the sequel

[baatjr-deactivated20150830]

the TINY “I’m not even gay” at the end lmao

[aabluviion-blog]

guess who’s back, back again ??

[craughed-deactivated20121004]

you may think im an asshole but as soon as you get to know me you realize that first impressions are right and i am an asshole 

[elesssar-deactivated20150407]

be still, heart and trembling knees, this is a juxtaposition direct from your childhood; snow white / rose red / skin white / blood red your tears cannot compete with the ocean. this is the truth of wonderland; not splashing scarlet on pale morning roses, but branding carnality on a canvas of innocence.

your mouth tastes of iron in the morning [b.r] (via masochisticsadist)

[jxxnine]

VERY IMPORTANT PSA:

[aabluviion-blog]

Why does being confident in myself get frowned upon? But then people that doubt themselves, unhealthy mentalities, mentalities I’ve been struggling with, get like 1000 notes and super supported? I am confident in my writing. I want to roleplay with you. I am not intimidating. I just am not afraid to shine bright and I want you to do the same. Why is that not promoted and why is hating yourself so prevalent around here? STAND up for who you are. STAND up for what you say even if your voice is shaking. I have so much anxiety but I battle it. I do not let it control me. I wield it. I am in control of my anxiety. Because thoughts are just thoughts. They are only as strong as you make them. If you fear anything, you just allow it to control you.

If you’re scared of sending someone an ask to ask to plot,

send it anyway. If you’re scared of making a starter for someone, make it anyway. It will be anxiety provoking at first. But it will subside the more you do it. I AM GETTING ANXIETY MAKING THIS POST BUT I AM DOING IT ANYWAY. You are not worthless. You are not a bad person. You are not a waste of space. You are worth writing. You are worth talking to. You are worth. Everything.

[aabluviion-blog]

hiatus may be ending in less than a week. maybe. thank for your patience, guys. it means a lot& i’m glad you’re all dealing with me being a bit MIA right now. ♥ i also have a blog that’s in the making & almost completed; mutuals may request for the url.

[aabluviion-blog]

hiatus may be ending in less than a week. maybe. thank for your patience, guys. it means a lot& i’m glad you’re all dealing with me being a bit MIA right now. ♥ i also have a blog that’s in the making & almost completed; mutuals may request for the url.

[aabluviion-blog]

if u ever think im not talking to u or constantly dropping convos with u bc i hate u consider this:

my anxiety/avoidance 

i literally do not hate anyone and have literally never hated anyone

my inability to focus on anything for too long (i have like three movies i sitll havent finished watching)

im busy

im sad

i got distracted by dance videos on youtube

im sleeping

i have nothing to respond back with

u dont initiate/carry conversations enough for me to do anything

i probably forgot to reply really or just have nothing to say

i want to talk to u but i think u feel like ur obligated to talk to me and so i dont want to burden u with my presence

i kno im overeager to talk about stuff people dont care about and have really specific interests that i have trouble straying out of and a lot of the time i just end up monologuing so i try never to talk about anything i like ever

my memory sucks and i’ll forget we already talked about something and bring it up again and im scared that i do that a lot so i try never to bring anything up

im not v fun or interesting or anything im sorry

people make fun of my typos and misworded things a lot and it makes me not want to talk

i ?? am scared of making u sad/mad bc i suck at talking to people

im scared that i will like u too much and will loose u after i have become attached bc that has happened to me too many times to count

generally i just dont want to bother/upset anyone sob

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

this trashcan ain’t big enough for the two of us

[kalesbug]

Trying to find something to motivate myself and I found this little line from Van Gogh

[wordsnquotes]

athazagoraphobia

A common phobia, athazagoraphobia is defined as the fear of being forgotten. Along with the fear or being forgotten, one is accompanied with the daunting fear of being ignored or replaced. A mental illness, athazagoraphobia stems from personal traumatic experiences correlating with the abandonment of a loved one. (via wordsnquotes)

[371am-deactivated20180309]

(kaneki ken.)