Untitled

[aaronb1x1]

tabithasmuses‌:

Being an adult was odd. Though it was something Marley had technically been for years, she’d done so more in theory than in practice. Doing what it was that she knew adults could do as opposed to the things that maybe she should have–spending her adult years traveling, for example. All of Marley’s adolescence, she’d waited for that opportunity. The chance to see the world, to know it. But in doing so, she’d traded things, essential things, that only just now she was beginning to understand she was missing. That stability didn’t equal settling, and settling didn’t mean unhappiness. And most importantly: that the past caught up to you, and sometimes, that past was sat three stools down from you at a bar, and the least you could do is send him a drink. She had left him without warning, after all. Crownsville’s cheapest finest whiskey wouldn’t amend this, but it would make her going over and sitting down a little less awkward. Marley hated awkward.

“…somebody must like you.” Her head nodded towards the drink sat in front of him. “That stuff ain’t cheap.” It was, and she knew it would taste as much, but she was working on a waitressing salary. It was the best she could do.

@aaronb1x1​

How long had he been at the bar? That was a question he couldn't answer, but he knew it had been more than he had intended. The worst thing was that he wasn't even drunk, he was just staring at his drink and thinking about other stuff. Aaron finished the rest of his drink and was ready to set off when the bartender came with a glass of whiskey. The man left to tend other orders before he could ask him who had sent it. It didn't take long for his answer to arrive and just like every interaction between them, Aaron could feel his heart sank to his stomach. It was impossible to escape his past when she lived in the same tiny town.

For a second he thought about saying something mean or bitter, but they were past that point and truth to be told, he missed being friendly with her, so he smiled. "Lucky me, huh?" Aaron turned to look at her, a genuine half-smile forming on his lips. "I knew that big guy over there was checking me out, I just didn't think he would have the guts," he said, jokingly before taking a sip from the drink. Whether it was cheap or not, he wouldn't know. His taste buds didn't know the difference but to him, it tasted good. "I was actually about to leave but if you need some company, I guess I can stay."

[aaronb1x1]

@tabithamuses​

At three in the morning, most of the lights were off in the Bentleys' house, except for the light in the last room next to the garden. However, Aaron had fallen asleep on the desk over an hour ago, not even two cups of coffee managed to keep him awake and with enough energy to finish the essay that was due in just a few hours. Just a few years ago, he wouldn't have been in this position. That essay would have been ready days before the deadline, and he'd be more concerned about the next assignment. But that was when he had different plans, one that left him with no choice but to make every assignment and make it perfect in order to get a good grade and then get into a good college. After meeting Marley that plan changed, he still needed to graduate but the grades and school overall became his second priority. What was the point of worrying about college when he and Marley already had plans? Sure, there were moments he questioned those plans but it only took one look at Marley to dissipate those doubts.

A noise that came from the garden woke him up, he rubbed his eyes and looked at the time. If he hadn't had the same experience before, he would have been concerned about who could be outside, but he knew very well who it was and the mere thought brought a smile to his lips before he opened the window. "What are you doing here?" he whispered as he helped her up the window. He didn't really care about the answer to that question, regardless of her reasons he was happy that she was there. "I can't have any distractions right now, I have to write an essay," he said in a serious tone but the way his lips curled into a smile told another story. He didn't mind the distraction, in fact, he wanted it.

[aaronb1x1]

tabithasmuses‌:

She hadn’t been in the mood to go out. Typically, after a long shift, there was nothing Marley wanted to do more than dance the night away, put some use to the feet she’d been up on all day. But they’d been short a girl at the diner that afternoon, and being abnormally busy on top of their usual business, Marley was drained. All she wanted to do was draw a bubble bath with a bottle of wine and put her aching feet up. Have a peaceful night in. The only issue with with that plan, however, was her lack of bubble bath. And wine. Though a trip to the store hadn’t interested her greatly, it’d been necessary…and while she was there, it’d been easy for her to get distracted. Namely by the ice cream.

She’d been reading the ingredients listed on the pint of mint chocolate chip when she heard the familiar voice that still managed to make her heart race. The blonde looked up, then, to meet the smiling face, her own lips managing to tug up into one resembling his own, as she slowly held up the carton of ice cream, as if just remembering what it was he was referring to. “Mint chocolate chip’s the best ice cream flavor.” It’d always been Marley’s favorite, and always had been something Aaron had teased her for. Some things never changed. “Is that why you’ve switched to a liquid diet?” She nodded towards the two bottles of wine in his hands.

@aaronb1x1​

It had been easier to approach her than to stick to the conversation he'd initiated. He felt trapped between the urge to flee and the compulsion to exist in her orbit for just a second longer. Of course, being the fool that he was, he opted to stay. "I will never understand why people love mint so much, especially with chocolate. Those two shouldn't co-exist." Suddenly it felt like they were back in high school arguing over ice cream which brought a nostalgic smile back to his face. "It tastes like frozen toothpaste," he ended his argument, knowing that no matter what she wouldn't change her mind. She never did. Her comment prompted a laugh. A pure, unbidden and unrestrained laugh. "That's exactly why, but I think I'm going to start eating proper food now because the wine hangovers are slowly killing me." He chuckled, his gaze still avoiding hers. "I'm actually going to cook paste tonight. Let's hope I don't burn down my apartment."

If anyone had told him that one day he'd be standing in the middle of a grocery aisle having a trivial conversation with Marley, he would have laughed. Yet, here they were. It was strange, especially since their recent interactions had been nothing but painful. This, however, wasn't painful. Uncomfortable? Maybe. Nonetheless, a very old, familiar feeling kicked right back in like an instinct, more so, than anything else… of being at peace around her. That’s why each corner of his mouth curled into a tentative, relaxed smile. "So, uh, is your evening as eventful as mine?"

@tabithamuses​

[aaronb1x1]

Every now and then Aaron was granted small breaks from the schedule he tried to keep as busy as possible. He'd came back from a long one-week trip, so when his boss told him to take some days off he didn't protest, instead, he prepared to spend the next few days on the couch and in front of the TV. That plan only lasted nine hours, the exact time it took him to finish the last season of Mindhunter and left him in desperate need of a drink. The bar seemed like the most logical and easiest choice, however, he changed his mind the minute he walked in and saw the place was flooded with college students and what appeared to be a bachelorette party. The second best option was to stop by the grocery store to buy a bottle of wine and something to eat since his fridge was empty. It sounded like the plan of a fifty-year-old man, but after the week he'd had it was the wiser option.

In the midst of choosing between two bottles, his eyes lifted to catch sight of something — actually, someone — that made him feel a little sore. It was a little ironic how before their last meeting they kept running into each other all the time as if fate or whatever kept forcing them to talk, and once they finally did the casual meetings stopped. He would have thought that seeing her again after that day at the coffee shop should have been more powerful. It should have had some sort of impact on his chest, or something. In all honesty, Aaron didn’t know what he would be avoiding anymore, it seemed as of late, he had very little to lose. "Please don't choose that, it's not as great as everyone says," he started, twisting on a semblance of a smile as he still was holding both bottles of wine. "But that's just me, and you know, I'm a picky eater." @tabithasmuses

[aaronb1x1]

tabithasmuses‌:

Touch. Something so simple. Something most people didn’t think twice about, Marley herself, included. She was the first to brush her fingers over someones cheek, help herself to pushing their hair off their face, playing with their fingers, bopping them on the nose. She never even had to think about her, merely acting on instinct. It was part of her charm, developed over the years. Certainly different from back then, when her touch had been reserved for Aaron and Aaron alone. Holding hands in the front seat on their trips out of town. Kisses on the cheeks when parting for their respective classes. Unable to remove their lips from each other’s and hands from their hair when he would drop her back off home at night. Even then, with him, Marley had never thought about it. It was Aaron. It made sense with Aaron. And yet, now, with his hand covering her own, it was all Marley could think about. Her eyes dipped to them, focused on the motion of his thumb brushing across her knuckles. It was as if a jolt of lightning shot up her arm then, but she forced herself still, only a moment later lifting her eyes back to his as he began to speak. His words were sad, but his smile was not. Not sad, not what it used to be…but a smile, nonetheless, and despite herself, Marley’s lips tugged up in one to match. “…we were just kids.” She echoed with a nod, pulling her hand back across the table to settle in her lap. Her skin tingled. “I did, I did, but I…still hurt you.” And no part of her had ever wanted that. “I owed you this a lot earlier…and I’m sorry.” Again. “That it took so long.”

@aaronb1x1​

It was up until now that he was reminded how much he had missed her touch. Even if it lasted for a few seconds it was enough to send shivers down his spine and suddenly it was as if he was seventeen again. He resisted the urge of wanting to hold her hand again, instead, crossing his arms over his chest. I still hurt you. Her words echoed in his head and while there was no way to deny that it was a fact, Aaron found himself trying to find a reason to excuse her. That's what he often did when it came to Marley, he tried to minimize the damage she had caused as if that could change something. "You did hurt me. You hurt me in ways I can't even begin to explain, but I don't hold it against you. I've never done it. You did what you thought was best and I guess I just wanted an answer," he said with a shrug, wishing her apology was enough to stop making him feel so defeated. He wished she had done things differently but holding to a bunch of 'what ifs' was the real reason why he hadn't move on. "Well, I think this was good... talking, I mean." What else was left to say? If it was up to him, he could tell her so many more things, but what for? All that had to be said regarding their relationship had been said. "I hope you find whatever you are looking for and I truly wish you to be happy." He forced a smile upon his features, not because he didn't mean it but because he hated how this sounded like a goodbye. The one they never got a chance to have. @tabithasmuses​

[aaronb1x1]

tabithasmuses‌:

How odd. To finally have it all out on the table. The conversation that had been five years in the making. Marley, frankly, didn’t know how she felt. Relieved, maybe. Like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, sure. But none of it came from the look of heartbreak on Aaron’s face. She couldn’t tell if it was the answer he’d been expecting, if he’d been expecting one at all. Marley had no idea what was going through that head of his. The boy she’d used to know like the back of her hand, now a strange man seated in front of her. She’d say she had no idea how it came to this, but it wouldn’t be the truth. Marley knew exactly how it had, and it had been because of her. Her selfishness. And if she hadn’t been aware of it, his response made sure that she was, hearing him admit to her that all he’d wanted was to be with her. Before Marley could respond, echo the sentiment, Aaron was continuing, and her lips fell promptly shut. A moment’s silence passed before she nodded, their eyes locked on one another’s. “…it’s all I wanted.” She informed, again. “For you to be happy.” But he had a point. There had never been a question on whether or not he did. Marley could only make decisions about her own life, but when she’d left that day, she’d made a decision for Aaron’s as well, and it hadn’t been right. “You’re right. Leavin’ the way I did…I was young, and I was stupid. It’s not an excuse, but I…” She took a deep breath then, noting that it was the first time she would be speaking the words to him. Two little words, after all she’d said. How hard could they be, really? And yet, they remained in Marley’s throat, stuck, until she all but forced them out. “I’m sorry.” She said it from her gut, never having meant anything the way she meant those two little words. Because she was. Pretended she hadn’t been, these last five years. Had to, if she were to move on. But sorry was all she had been, deep down…and he was the one apologizing. “I’m sorry for the weight I’d put on you. I never should have in the first place. And obviously I can’t go back and change it, Aaron, but I…I just want you to know. I’m sorry.”

@aaronb1x1​

Aaron, once, had thought that they would always be able to say anything to each other, that they would never feel the need to swallow down words and emotions that deserved to be let loose. Yet, it had taken them five years to have this conversation and the passage of time hadn't made it any easier. He knew that his face was giving away all the emotions he was going through, emotions he still was trying to figure out. Over the last years, Aaron had become pretty good at being a pretender, he would fake a smile and act like everything was fine, but he couldn't do that in her presence. When it came to Marley, he'd always been too transparent and as she continued talking... explaining herself he still tried to keep his emotions in check. His lips parted, ready to stop her when she spoke those two words. He blinked through her apology as if he didn’t hear it well, maybe he’d imagined it. But then Marley repeated it again and… he didn’t know how he felt about it. In fact, this entire conversation had him feeling some type of way and not necessarily affecting him negatively, or positively for that matter, but he felt like it was a daze he was walking through, his vision a little blurry and his thoughts all jumbled up. He didn’t need her to feel bad about it. He didn’t want her to suffer because of it. "Hey, stop, you don't have to..." he began as he did something impulsive he knew he shouldn’t have done, but in that moment, it was more like an instinctive reaction— something like a phantom limb where his feelings used to be, feelings for this girl that were supposed to be gone. He reached out for her hand, not an ounce of hesitance in this particular move, his thumb gently moving over her knuckles. Despite all the pain her departure caused him, he now knew that her intention had never been to hurt him. "You are right, we were young and maybe I was too naive to see that following you all over the world was not what I wanted back then." The corner of his lips curved upward, and there was a semblance of a crooked smile he used to give her back when things were at their best. "I know you meant well," he said softly before he let her hand go loose.

[aaronb1x1]

tabithasmuses‌:

It wasn’t the first time that she’d admitted it out loud. It was only one of few times that she had, but the words had come from her lips a handful of times before in the span of the last few months. Just never to him. It’d taken five long years to even get to the place where she could admit it to herself, and Marley found herself wishing, briefly, in the moment, for five more years to work up the courage to be able to say them to him. Because it was the truth. Something she’d run from for so long, the thought of it catching up to her terrified her more than anything had before. But she didn’t have five more years. She didn’t even have five seconds. Aaron was there, in front of her, and he was waiting. Had waited, for long enough. It sounded silly, when he repeated it back to her. Marley felt like a shy child, in the moment, slowly nodding her head, tucked into herself, as if to shield away her thoughts and feelings, hold them in for just a little while longer. He was beginning to question her, however–understandably so–and slowly, but surely, she unfurled from herself, chest filling with a deep breath. When she exhaled, more words came. “I was scared of the future.” Hell, hearing it from herself sounded silly, and despite herself, she laughed. It was a bitter sound–one of defeat–as she leaned back in her seat, head shaking. “Me. The girl who couldn’t wait for the future to be the present. Gets cold feet the minute I realized it wasn’t too far off.” It sounded ridiculous. Softening, once more, at the sight of his face, Marley toned the self depreciation down. “I…I wanted it. That future that we planned together. I wanted to see the world with you, Aaron.” A sad smile tugged at her lips. “You made our small town feel…so big, and I will never be able to properly thank you for that. For makin’ me happy in a place that didn’t…but can you honestly say that you would’ve been? Happy, followin’ after me, my dreams? Maybe for a little, but you had dreams of your own…and I know you would have bent over backwards to make sure I was happy. Hell, you were prepared to follow me ‘round the world to do so…and I loved you for that. I loved how you loved me…but you wanted that travellin’ to be just a part of our life. Do it for a few years, until it was out of my system. And then maybe school. Careers, marriage…” It wasn’t anything he’d ever outright said, but she knew him. “I didn’t want to wake up next to you five years from then and find that we both compromised ourselves too much to fix.” That was it. As if the weight of the revelation had all but slid off her shoulders, Marley’s posture relaxed, relieved. But his questions continued. Thankfully, the next wasn’t a hard one to answer. “I wanted to call you so many times that I eventually just left my cellphone on a park bench and walked away from it.” That was how bad the urges had been.

@aaronb1x1​

He inhaled slowly and gave her nothing more than a nod. He couldn’t acknowledge what she'd just said or how it made him feel beyond that single motion. This was possibly the first time there had ever been any real honesty between them since their paths crossed again and it had been so much easier to sink into the habit of not talking about it, ignoring the gaping wound that she’d left behind. Yet, this is what he'd asked for, the truth and now he needed to deal with it, as agonizing as it was. There wasn’t any quick response to her confession, his mind was blank, vacant of thought as though he was trapped in some endless void and there didn’t seem to be any words that described how he was feeling, a myriad of emotions tumbling through yet staying far below the surface. Happy. The word rang over and over again in his head, chills running down his spine as her words started to make more sense that he would have wanted to. "I just wanted to be with you," he started, eyes searching to meet her gaze, "but you are right, I wouldn't have been happy." His jaw clenched tightly, an ache forming in his chest as he spoke, his own words turning out to be a confession to himself. Despite the ghost of her following him everywhere he went, he'd been to, Aaron couldn't deny that in the past years he'd done everything he'd wanted. Things he'd dreamed of doing before his whole existence revolved around Marley and as her reasons started to sink in, more sense they seemed to have. "I just wish you would have given me the chance to realize that on my own instead of leaving me with all these questions and doubt," he added, shrugging sadly before looking away briefly. Her next answer should have given him some sort of comfort but it didn't and he couldn't help the way his insides churned at the fact that what could’ve been was hitting him harder than he’d ever imagined it to. Still, he didn't say a thing. She didn't need to know the number of times he'd typed her number without daring to call her until one day he stopped remembering the combination of numbers that was supposed to be hers. "I apologize if I pressured you to give me answers, but I just couldn't go to a new city and have all this weight with me." At this moment, he couldn't tell if this was enough for him to help him move on, but he wanted to think it was. He needed it to be enough.

[aaronb1x1]

tabithasmuses‌:

Eyes widening, as if realizing for the first time that they were, in fact, situated inside a coffee house, Marley was quick to shake her head, unsure if she would be able to even stomach a drink with her nerves pounding away as they were. “I’m okay…thank you.” And though the offer had been in good faith, it seemed to be the last words spoken between them in the awkwardness that hung in the air, before it shifted into something…bitter. Marley should have expected as much. Aaron had been far calmer regarding the situation than warranted, and while she wasn’t exactly anticipating a blowup from him, it was almost as if she were holding her breath waiting for one…but his admitted words felt like a punch to the gut. The breath she’d been holding was quick to exhale past her lips, and the pain kept the blonde silent, even when Aaron fell the same. If he were expecting a response, Marley didn’t have one. What did she say so something like that? To practically being informed that a decision she’d made five years ago had kept with him all that time? It hadn’t been what she intended, but they did say the road to hell was paved with good intentions. Good couldn’t describe her intentions back then precisely, but she had truly thought what she was doing was best for the both of them, and had had this long to think of how she would explain it to him if given the chance. As if recognizing he wouldn’t receive an answer so easily, Aaron continued to speak, and the questions that followed were no easier to respond to than his earlier statement. In fact, it only twisted the knife settled in Marley’s gut deeper. Her eyes lifted from the table to meet his, lips parted in an attempt to form some sort of reply, but Aaron just continued to speak. “No.” Her head shook once again, staring back at Aaron earnestly. “I wasn’t…that wasn’t what I was going to say.” Though it wasn’t too far of a stretch. She forced herself to take a deep breath. “I…was scared, Aaron.” 

@aaronb1x1​

The sound of people laughing and talking came from a different side of the coffee house, announcing that unlike them, they were having a good time.  Focusing on anything else was easier than facing Marley directly, so he slowly dragged his gaze away, seeking out a less familiar face. One that didn't bring bittersweet memories because right now he couldn’t admit that he’d missed her, not out loud and hardly even to himself, but he had. Just like going back to their hometown only reminded him of the empty space in his life from where she used to be. He was avoidant of anything that brought her back into his thoughts and after running into her again in another small town he didn't want to acknowledge that some part of him called out for her even after all these years. When seconds stretched into what felt like hours after the questions fell from his lips Aaron tried to prepare himself for the blow that would come from the words she’d say. His gaze snapping back to search her face as soon as she started to talk, the last words she uttered felt like they slammed into his chest. "Scared?"  He caught himself asking, a frown encroaching on his forehead. Out of all the answers he'd imagined throughout the years, fear hadn't been one of them and that was why it was a punch in the guts. His lips were sealed shut, even though he had so many things on his mind. It was an odd, numbing feeling that enveloped his entire rib cage. "Of what?" Confusion and concern bloomed in his chest. "Were you scared of us being together?" They have talked about that many times, the things they would do after leaving town and when Marley left he always believed it had been something she'd decided overnight and that thought made the whole situation more bearable, but instead, it seemed as if a threat had loomed over their heads for months before she finally gathered the courage to go through with it. “Did you—” sucking in a deep breath, he glanced down at his hands before turning to look at him — “did you ever think about calling?” He knew that asking if she'd ever thought of coming back would result in a hard and flat 'no', but he always wondered if maybe a part of her had thought of reaching out.

@tabithamuses​

[aaronb1x1]

tabithasmuses‌:

“But here I am.” She echoed, breathless laughter escaping with her words, in as much disbelief as Aaron himself. The fact that she was sitting there in front of him was truly a miracle, given that she’d all but bolted at the sight of him not even two months ago. The pounding of her heart was a familiar sensation, as was the tightness that formed in her throat, and though her feet were all but itching to hit the ground running, Marley forced herself still, to face what she had done and do what she should have a long time ago: face him. He deserved answers, the chance to ask anything he wanted, whatever thoughts had crossed his mind in the time they’d spent apart. Marley wondered, briefly, if all his had left his head as hers had, if her presence too was drawing up a blank. When he spoke, she had her answer. “I wouldn’t have blamed you, if you had.” Though the words stung. She tried not to let her smile fall flat, but feared she wasn’t as good as pretending as she thought she was. Not around him, at least. Slowly, her head began to nod in understanding, knowing the feeling, but not knowing what to say in return. Her lower lip wormed between her teeth, gaze falling to the table, only looking up when he continued. Briefly, her eyes widened, but as he began to clarify, a smile more truer than the last tugged back at her lips, a little shy, but real. “Yeah?” After a moment, she nodded. “…you too.” Her face softened. “You look…you look real good.” Sad…but good.

@aaronb1x1​

Clearing his throat, he took a look around the place before his gaze landed back on her. "Do you want anything to drink?" Frankly, he didn't think he his stomach could handle anything at the moment, not now that it seemed to be twisted into a knot. Aaron nodded, a soothing expression on his face as his fingers fidgeted along the table's edge as he weighed the options on how to carry on this conversation. He could play it cool for a few more minutes, wait for their drinks before diving into the real matter, but what good would it do? They would have to talk about it eventually, and the sooner the better. "I don't feel good, I haven't felt good in a long time." His blue hues made a slow sweep over her features, biting back a snort of humorless laughter that mocked his own weakness. Aaron drew in a breath. And then two, and then three. No matter how many times, each one of those hurt. It felt like his chest was on fire, and there was nothing he could do but sit there, feeling almost helpless. "What went wrong between us? Why did you leave like this?" The moment he let the question pass his lips he wanted to take it back. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to know, more like because he realized he probably already knew the answer and wasn’t prepared to have it confirmed. "And don't give me that 'I just had to go' bullshit, I didn't drag myself here to hear that again." A boldness in his hues as he stared at her. He wanted to know what really had happened even if the answer turned out to be more hurtful than her absence. @tabithasmuses

[aaronb1x1]

tabithasmuses‌:

Should she have ordered a drink before sitting down? Marley was desperate for something to do with her hands, contemplating letting her hair fall from the ponytail simply to have blonde curls to twirl around her fingers, but at the same time, wasn’t sure she could handle anything in her stomach with the nerves pounding away beneath the surface. It felt as if she were going to be sick. Five years, she’d had to think of what she would say if ever given the chance to explain herself. Five years, and every thought, ever made up scenario, every possible explanation to get him to understand why she’d done what she had, out the window. It was barely possible for Marley to even remember her own name, in the moment, and at the sound of his voice? Completely blank. Her eyes lifted, almost robotically, from where her nails had been drumming on the table to the sight of the man who, to Marley, could have very well been the same boy she’d fallen in love with all those years ago. Piercing blue eyes that’d she’d fallen for without even thinking about it, not a care in the world about what would happen when she landed (or what would happen if she crashed). “Hey.” Was that her, speaking? Offering a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes, she watched as he sat across from her. His honesty didn’t hurt. In fact, it relaxed her, her shoulders slumping, smile loosening. “Neither did I, to be honest.” Honest. That’s all she had to be. Taking a deep breath, Marley exhaled with a small laugh. “…a lil’ winded, from the lap ‘round the block I took ‘fore I got myself in here, but other than that?” Her head nodded. “I’m okay. How’ve you been?” She genuinely wanted to know.

@aaronb1x1​

Not staring at her was challenging, Aaron couldn't help the way his gaze kept finding its way back to the blonde, and the way his insides churned at the fact that what could’ve been was hitting him harder than he’d ever imagined it to. While there were five years sprawling in between them, they felt like a whole lifetime and while she still could put him through the wringer of emotions, he had to remind himself that perhaps five years were, in fact, a lifetime and that the person sitting before him was not the same he'd met before. But even knowing all of this, he couldn't shake off that relentless beating of his own heart and the thoughts of how the girl he'd fallen for was still somewhere inside her. A slight smile tugged at his lips after her comment, before he looked up quickly, in time to catch the small smile she also held. "But here you are," he started, wetting his lips before his own admission. "All day I tried to find a way to call this off and even wrote this text with some stupid excuse but I couldn't send it."  Shrugging listlessly, a chuckle escaped past his lips. Leaning back into his seat, his gaze drifted away before answering. He couldn't find a proper response to such a simple question. Overall, he was fine but thinking of saying that out loud didn't seem appropriate. "Busy, or at least I try to keep myself busy." That whole sentence could encapsulate his last years, Aaron had been too busy trying to avoid feelings and emotions. He was okay when things were busy, but as soon as they slowed down he began thinking of her, filling his head with a bunch of useless what ifs. "You look good. I mean, it’s uhm… it’s good to see you.“ It was, but it wasn’t. The feeling of his heart galloping out of his chest was only matched by the feeling of betrayal that still festered in his gut, demanding answers to questions he didn’t have the courage to ask yet.

[aaronb1x1]

tabithasmuses‌:

If you asked her how she’d gotten there, Marley couldn’t have told you. She could, of course, tell you about how she had physically gotten there. How, after an eight hour morning shift at the diner, she had made her way back to her apartment to shower, change into clothes that didn’t smell of pancake syrup and grease, brush her hair up and off her face if only to keep herself from nervously tugging at the curls. She could tell you how, after leaving her apartment and walking back down the path to her job, albeit a little further down in order to find herself in front of Cuppa Joe’s, the thought of actually going in had given her such a rush of nerves in the pit of her stomach that she’d had no choice but to keep walking and hang a right, and another, and another, and another, until ten minutes had passed and brought her right back to the very same spot she’d kept walking past the first time. The nerves were still there, she’d tell you, but knowing if she attempted another lap, she surely would be late, she forced herself up the steps that lead to the front door, tugged it open to be met with the smell of baking pastries and fresh coffee, and roamed her eyes over the sea of patrons, simultaneously hoping for and fearing the sight of him. How ironic, would it be, if he were the one to bail. A quick look at her phone alerted Marley to the fact that she was, in fact, early, and with the notion in mind, made her way to a vacant booth nestled in the corner–and thus, how she’d physically gotten there. But for how the last five years–the last nine years, really, had lead to this moment? Marley couldn’t even begin to tell you.

For the days that ensued after they agreed to meet up, willingly. Aaron tried not to think too much about it but when the time trickled closer he couldn't help but to start imagining all the ways seeing her again could go wrong. What if they run out of things to say or even worse if they’d have too much to say and neither would be able to handle it? The outcomes were limitless and every instinct told him to beg off from their plans, take extra hours at work or come up with another excuse, but he didn't. He couldn’t deny that a small part of him craved to feel that sense of familiarity at least one more time. Maybe he could let her go after that. Move on instead of sweeping the memories of Marley under the rug, waiting for them to bubble up to the surface at some point. He spotted her almost immediately as he opened the door, sucking in a slow breath to stop the urge of leaving. The reasonable half of his quietly reminded that none of this would go away even if he ran back home. Glancing at the watch on his wrist, he almost thought he'd been late, but both were right on time. The walk to the booth where she was seemed endless as he mentally rehearsed what to say before settling with a humdrum greeting, not wanting to overthink this early into the conversation. "Hey," he finally said as he approached the booth, somehow mustering a small smile. "You came, I didn't think you would." It was an admission he didn’t even bother to hide, after all, they were there to talk and why not start with some honesty? "So, how you've been?" he asked as he slid into the booth.