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For anyone who needs it: The note I almost wrote to myself
I was on a anonymous forum earlier today and someone needed advice...the person was in distress and reading through their cry for help was like reading my past cries. A past cry re-threatening to go back to being a current one. For anybody who needs it, here are some words. Sometimes we all need a hand, ear or some words for dear fucking life.
“Dear OP. I was bullied in school mercilessly and my home life was a mix marred with pretty good but really bad issues too. I suffered some in college and work in the past too. Add some traumatic events to that too but I won't name them here just so I can keep to the point. I was in counselling on the quiet for a few years so I take your post very seriously. I've also had really rough situations with so-called friends as well. And I've been in a very very very similar boat to where you are now. Sometimes I still feel like I'm close to being back there, but that my dear is called life and the best thing one can do is deal with it in the best way possible and learn from it whilst when certain things happen. There is no magical fix it button but once you steps taking steps and keep consistent then you will see a difference. Even if it's just little changes at first. Then those little changes become big ones after a while. First thing, please work on a way to stop belittling your own achievements. I do that too and it is bad. It makes you feel more worse in the long run and can cement a vicious cycle because if you feel like you have nothing going then you will feel like you are capable of fuck all...which clearly, by what you stated you've achieved, is not at all true. You are doing great things so give yourself that pat on the back you badly deserve. NOW. Another thing, please try to no longer live out your past. As hard as it is, you have to kick down those old rocks and boulders of your pain and rebuild yourself and self-esteem. Rome wasn't built in a day but it was eventually built. I can't tell you word for word what to do but serving the god built off your current multi-faceted pain will eat at you until you completely feel no zest for life or that there is any way out. Start now, even if its post it notes, a diary of how you feel, vision boards...just find a way to start dear. Every day is a brand new chance and fresh currency to live afresh or at least think about it or work towards it. Do not let your pain define how your take that chance or not take it. Also, in regards to the making friends issue... your aura will give you off when meeting new people. As well meaning as you are, this may translate into vibes some people aren't looking for when trying to make friends. Or maybe these people aren't suppose to be your friends for a reason or maybe you have to go somewhere like a nice hobby or support group to make friends there. Or worse, those or see you may not love yourself the way you should will come for you and drain you for what they want or need or otherwise. Looks wise. I was once someone who was called ugly so much. I then went college and got called the compete opposite. People are shitty and fickle and will say all kinds of mess cause they think they can. Unfortunately, this can mess us up and give all kind of complexes and I am as happy as day I wasn't a teen when instagram was about! But back to the point, loving yourself from the inside will help you accept what is on the outside. However, whilst you are working on that...invest on the outside too and what I mean by that is make (or continuerather) the most of what you do have. Taking care of your hair, skin, nails and body will make you feel a thousand times prettier rather than belittling what you have and not advancing it. Whether it's wearing things you like and making an effort, styling your hair in a way you find cute and regular exercise to match (helps the insides too and produces all those happy hormones to improve one's mood)...don't overlook those things as they will at least make you be at your best. What I will stress though to not become so obsessive over your outer package whilst doing this that you lose sight of what the main goal...but just a way aiding the ground work of working on how you feel about yourself first. There is only one you. There is no one who looks like you. Remember that and be proud of it and who you are too. Be kind to yourself and hopefully you should find that within time you will attract people who will most likely be kind to you and be the right people too. Eat as well you can in accordance to you lifestyle and budget, make a few private goals and aim to reach them in good time (don't kill or belittle yourself for this though), take that hobby. Consider a local theatre/drama class to gain confidence. Listen to good music everyday, plan a vacay or a stay-cay, look for good deals on groupon/wowcher etc. Work on your life and it will start working for you xx Start to invest and believe in yourself, you are your biggest bet on this planet so take a wager and see what happens.”
Good night.
Over 33 people banned from Hackneys’ public spaces due to anti-social behaviour
A total of 33 people were banned for a range of anti-social activities in Hackneys’ libraries and leisure centres from 2015-16.
Part of the total figure was made up of 26 people being banned for anti-social behaviour ranging from verbal abuse, threatening behaviour and racism, all of which taken place in libraries situated in the borough.
Whilst the leisure centres saw three exclusions for aggressive behaviour or various sorts and two due to physical assault on a member of staff.
However considering that the borough has eight libraries in total, these may not be too alarming.
However on the whole anti-social behaviour in public spaces and libraries in particular is not uncommon.
Neighbouring boroughs’ such as Haringey also experience anti-social behaviour such the incident with a drunken yob that terrorised library staff earlier this year.
Any incidents of anti-social behaviour should always be reported in the first instance.
Hackneys’ help page contains contact details should there be a witnessing of any inappropriate behaviour first hand.
Nearly half of homelessness decisions during 2015-16 overturned on appeal
A total of 21 cases won appeals against Hackney Council for refusing housing support during the years 2015-16.
Around 46 homelessness decisions were subject to review during 2015-16 in the London borough of Hackney.
Of these 46 decisions, 21 were overturned on review, and 25 were upheld as being correct.
The individuals found to not be in priority need were deemed ineligible, therefore unable to be entitled temporary accommodation.
Homelessness has always been a difficult yet very topical subject and all too common issue in the East London borough.
Government figures released earlier in the year revealed homelessness has increased by 32% in Hackney since June 2014 and the borough now has the third highest percentage of homeless people in England, reported by Hackney Post.
At one point there were steps being taken to fine rough sleepers of up to £1,000, however Change.org set up a petition to counteract such legislation.
Black Lives Matter and Gentrification from a boutique perspective: A feature and follow up with Ms Andrews
“I’d been working on my mums stall in the market since I was 4 years old, I’m used to the retail life.”
The above one liner is one of a fine many from Grace Andrews, an accountant-in-training (she believes in having business skills as a good back up) and owner of luxury nail and accessories boutique Nails@Coco&Creame which lives in the growing hotspot of Dalston, situated in Hackney.
Anyway, the reason for this insightful interview, is to discuss hot topics such as where this particular Londoner stands on the Black Lives Matter Movement and another (yet distantly related area based on how another marginalised group may be affected), the matter of increasing localised gentrification.
A local from the trendy area since birth, Grace knows this spot of East London inside and out, however her main theme in her opinion is cohesion, in order to combat potential segregation within gentrification.
“I am all for making something inclusive and lovely, not something exclusive and ugly.”
A great and natural orator, she speaks about her background, how this all started and her views on the boroughs’ growing reputation in relation to gentrification and those multi-faceted changes that come with it.
One can imagine that such confidence comes from a solid background, a good grounding stemming from a tight family upbringing in the face of adversity, and all in an area with not very pretty statistics on knife crime, education, health or the overall financial health of its constituents.
The (decreasing) yet sheer amount of payday loan shops and betting bookies gives out a light on an area still semi-gripped in deprivation.
“Growing up in Hackney it wasn’t always as it is now, it was sometimes deemed to be a bit of an rough area, although which I think there’s always a worse reputation from an outsider looking in then if you are living here yourself. ”
And this is where Grace fits in.
With a dual position of owning a trendy boutique that attracts many types but also being a local girl who understands that side of things, her main ethos is community cohesion.
Her concerns also extend to combating racial based issues, particularly voicing her concerns in relation to Black Lives Matter.
“The Black Lives Matter movement has obviously been created out of necessity, sheer necessity.”
“There are some atrocities going on in America and it is something that the whole world needs to pay attention to, not just black people but people of all colours, all ages and all genders so and so forth.”
She verbally oozes a bluntness dressed kindly in her truthful and non-pretentious demeanour, completed with a confidence so eased that you are drawn in to simply hear her out, even with topics as uncomfortable as this.
“But what is a good thing is that there has been a lot of London support and for things here going on as well.”
“Living in London and in England it would be a lie to say that there isn’t any racism here but whilst there is racism here, there is a better handling of situations here. The laws in this country are in much more support and I would love to see these laws implemented in America. ”
“What I think is key is that England is very stringent with gun control and I think that is really important, if you don’t want violence in a country then don’t encourage it.
Grace also goes deeper into why she feels America is like this and what they could learn from the UK whilst declaring her support for Black Lives Matter.
“I think that the USA could learn a lot from things that are happening in England or London and again that’s not to say England or London is perfect and that things aren’t going on around here but London is a much more cohesive and fertile environment for change and growing in the right direction.
“I hope the Black Lives Matter movement and any movement in support of peace and cohesion or pro-human life can help better the situation.
“I support my American brothers and sisters of all colours so to speak and I think that it’s important for them to receive support from all around the world”
From speaking and interviewing Grace, I am confident for the future.
Despite the current, divisive and even hostile environment that the political climate and sustained financial worries have placed amongst the heads of many, there is a new generation who are standing up, seeking out, expressing themselves and doing their part.
A generation who are not afraid to say what they feel is racially, financially or morally right or wrong, or at the least, just less afraid then what others before them may have been.
And Grace is a young, fresh, part of that generation.
More quotes here
Looking Back at Afropunk’s London Debut, M.I.A and Black Lives Matter
Not too long ago, September 24th 2016 saw London experienced one of the most colourful, alternative, free-spirited and highly notable festival debuts of all time, Afropunk London. For over 10 years Afropunk has been a much needed and distinctly celebrated festival, placing light on the marginalised crowd of black punk, their tastes and effectively catering to them and more. However...the carnival of consciousness was only in the US and later on Europe i.e. Afropunk in Paris but this year, all of that changed...with Afropunk London!
The UK leg of the well known festival was like a charge of fresh air, a mesmerizing array vibrant independent stalls selling to the audiences and showcasing multi ethnic African prints, vegan hair and beauty products, specially made beaded jewellery and the biggest collection of a conscious crowd that one has seen in ages.
As this was my first time at Afropunk, I came first and forth most as a observer and journalist for Nothing But The Wax but also as a first timer myself. I breathed in the warm air, took in the visuals of the densely packed crowd and went forward from going to stalls to have a look but also speaking to the awesome likes of Monique Baptiste-Brown of Black Cultural Archives and Aïcha Daffé of SunuKër respectively.
MIA Controversy regarding Black Lives Matter and replacing her with Grace Jones
Alongside the positive/excitable buzz of the festival, there laid some controversy. M.I.A who was suppose to be the original headlining act, was changed after her comments regarding Black Lives Matter. I suggest reading The Guardian’s piece to get completely up to speed with that matter.
For what Afropunk represents or what it naturally represents...this decision could be seen as inevitable and just. For what the current racial narrative is now in regards to Black Lives Matter, as well as October being Black History in the UK, to keep M.I.A even with a semi-feasible explanation would not have been ok. At least not for this occasion in this current climate. I favour balance and free speech and take neither of those lightly, but for this time round, I agree with the reasoning of Afropunk’s final decision.
But with change, some things just work out for the best. Grace Jones undoubtedly had the crowd weak at the knees with vibrant hula hooping and letting them know exactly where to put their phones. Her painted body alone can be likened to an ageless work of structured art and the crowd absolutely adored her and ate up every last performed morsel of her stunning set.
Final review
Overall, Afropunk London debut was seamless, smooth and impenetrable from anything that could brought it down. It was powerful, colourful, glistening and was a indie haven almost during what may be argued as a bleak time in relation to deep, systematic issues with racism, prejudice and increased marginalisation of vulnerable groups in society.
What Afropunk reminded us of is power in numbers and celebration of the arts and such a wonderful gathering that originated the hottest racial bed of the moment, aka the United States, birthed this festival. And what a wonderful gift that this turned out to be. And it can only get better from here. Cheers to a wonderful inaugural debut of Afropunk in our London and to many, many more.
On the left... 🙄😎🙏#SWLondoner #Writing #Grateful
I'm on the right...☺😎🙏#SWLondoner #Grateful #Writing
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There is a way to do this without humiliating people or stripping of dignity via an ambush. I understand that Byron wish to obey the law and avoid fines, fair to that but financially, emotionally, this is wrong on those workers and last time I checked, more of Britain's homegrown talent don't really pick up jobs like this so whose gonna fill these vacancies up 🤔? I will personally boycott Byron after this. This is nasty but I'm not suprised...look at who is our prime minister now...there will be more to come. #ByronBurger #BoycottByron #Immigration
At least I found that skirt I wanted! 😶😇😏🙄
In between committments and Journalism school...and generally feeling overwhelmed...this slipped but only for a minute! Did spin class (a 1st for me) and piloxing (pilates/boxing and dance). Health is wealth mate!! 😥😭👊✊💪💙
#RP from @blackqueenslove. #LifeForNow #NotForeverThough 😉
Human beings are so overrated lol.
This has been most of us at one point or another although some of us are taking repeated blows! Adulthood is a bump man. KMT 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Sort of...the running got too much so I turned it into a power walk/jog/ab work/star jumps with Beep Me 911 in my ears (Old School Missy E) instead. Need to get back on this training ting properly again! 😏💪🙌🙏💃💙
