AbigailGoldblade

I’ve got my sights set on a career where every misstep is a step toward laughter.

[abigailgoldblade]

🚨 Breaking News: I’m an Aspiring Comedian… and somehow I also became a Health Ambassador. That's right, you heard me, because apparently the body needs laughter and wellness.

As an Aspiring Comedian · Health Ambassador, I’m currently at the stage of life where I’m brave enough to tell jokes and humble enough to accept that they might not land on the first try.

While using humor to make health conversations less intimidating, so people are more likely to actually listen, relate, and take small steps toward feeling better. Life is already full of awkward moments, so I figured I might as well turn them into comedy, and put it all on my website. 🩷💜🩷

Click here: https://abigailgoldblade.com

[abigailgoldblade]

Gamers read too. 🩷💜🩷

[abigailgoldblade]

Each gamer has their preference...

Do you prefer the 16-bit sprite art of the Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis era, or the awkward charm of early 3D polygon graphics on the PS1 and N64? 🩷💜🩷

[abigailgoldblade]

Imagine, if you will, a date in a neon-lit arcade. Two souls chasing a high score, completely unaware that the game they are playing is with destiny itself… 🩷💜🩷

[abigailgoldblade]

Can’t wait to see bigger changes! 🩷💜🩷

[abigailgoldblade]

I prefer physical music over downloading music! Which do you prefer? 🩷💜🩷

[abigailgoldblade]

My love language: arcade tokens. 🩷💜🩷

[abigailgoldblade]

I’ll know it’s real when he takes me on a date to the arcade. People laughing when I say, “That’s my kind of date."

If he thinks my date idea is badass, we’re good. 🩷💜🩷

[abigailgoldblade]

Knits Cool Knitting Studio was… well So Cool! 🩷💜🩷

So my OCD came out of nowhere and said,

“Fill these empty shelves with your Knits Cool Knitting Studio, Accessories, and Yarn.” …and somehow I still can’t find the time to knit. 🩷💜🩷

[abigailgoldblade]

In the 2010s, I didn’t wear gold or silver jewelry. I wore jewelry I made myself from the Crayola Jewelry Boutique!

It definitely didn’t match perfectly and sometimes it looked a little odd but it was mine, and it always felt like the coolest thing ever!

Wearing my own AbigailGoldblade original! 🩷💜🩷

[abigailgoldblade]

You didn’t grow up as a Disney princess in the 2000s unless your “royal palace” came with the Disney Princess 13" CRT TV and a DVD/VHS combo player!

The real magic was watching The Book Of Pooh, Blue's Clues, The Wiggles, or Pink Floyd In Concert on a beautiful pink and purple hard molded plastic box! 🩷💜🩷

[abigailgoldblade]

The elements build up, on what I believe, to create a successful Comedian! 🩷💜🩷

[abigailgoldblade]

"Hey Abigail, What do you want your occupation to be?"

To which I reply, "Stand-Up Philosopher, I coalesce the vapor of human experience into a viable and logical comprehension"

But really...I'm a bullshit artist. 🩷💜🩷

[abigailgoldblade]

The only record player I’ll ever own is the limited-edition Pro-Ject The Dark Side of the Moon Turntable!

Because as a Pink Floyd fan, all I'll do is press play and let time tick away. Wait for someone or something to show me the way. 🩷💜🩷

[abigailgoldblade]

Am I the only person who wants an 8-bit John Wick game?

Imagine going ⬆️,⬆️,⬇️,⬇️,⬅️,➡️,⬅️,➡️, B, A! and suddenly you’re running around with a TTI STI 2011 Combat Master, a TTI Pit Viper, and a Sand Viper! Like you've just unlocked the Continental’s finest loadout.

Then you’re taking out High Table members by the dozen, leaving behind nothing but pixelated blood and pure movie-accuracy! 🩷💜🩷

[abigailgoldblade]

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[abigailgoldblade]

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