β¨β πππππ ππππππ πππ πππ ππππ πππππ πππππππ β¨
quotes from the 1975 Monty Python and the Holy Grail film. feel free to switch around pronouns, diction, and the like to make them more suitable for your muse.
β Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. β
β Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see. β
β Whatβ¦ is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? β
β What makes you think she's a witch? β
β 'Tis but a scratch! β
β I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! β
β Oh, stop bitching and letβs go have tea. β
β Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale! β
β You stay in the room and make sure he doesnβt leave. β
β Youβre not going to do a song while Iβm here. β
β What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior! β
β Guards, make sure the prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.β
β Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can. β
β We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril. β
β It's just a flesh wound. β
β Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? β
β In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right? β
β Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?β
β Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being repressed! β
β Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. β
β Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer! β
β We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni. β
β It's only a model! β
β Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. β
β Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he will be very keen. Uh, he's already got one, you see. β
β On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place. β
β Bring out yer dead. β
β I'm not dead. I'm getting better. β
β You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do? β
β Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you. β
β You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forestβ¦ WITHβ¦ A HERRING! β
β Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. β
β What manner of man are you that can summon up fire without flint or tinder?β
β I seek the bravest and the finest knights in the land who will join me in my court at Camelot. β
β You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me? β
β I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight. But I must cross this bridge. β
β Now, stand aside, worthy adversary! β
β Is there someone else up there we can talk to? β
β No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time! β
β Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has fought with itβ¦ and lived! BONES of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So! Brave knights! If you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teethβ¦ β
β Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't have bothered to carve 'Aaaauuuggghhhh'. He'd just say it. β
β I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle! β
β Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who. β