Am Lost @absolutedissolution - Tumblr Blog

I find it strange when people want to help me, or listen to what I have to say because they know I’m upset. Especially people I don’t know... like why? Who am I to you?

I feel like I’m not good for you at all. I make you feel terrible about yourself and I hate myself for it. I wish I had never coaxed you into being in a relationship with me because now you probably feel like you can’t escape. I’m sorry I did this to you.

Can’t stand that I hate the person in the mirror so much and I don’t even know who that is.

My brain is trying to kill me a tbh I might let it

I’ve gone through many weird weight fluctuations and every time I can feel that you’re less attracted to me. At this point i hate myself or whoever/whatever I am. I feel like I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve anything. Not your attention, your time, your love. Ive become so fucking ugly. I really hate looking at me.

People always tell me “you seem like you really have your life together”. When I’m actuality my life is a fucking shit show and I’m just fucking fantastic at acting like everything is ok. I’m literally dieing on the inside. Someone please kill me before I do it myself.

#im losing it #im losing my mind #kill me #reasons why i actually wanted to be an actress #wanted as in still want #but no one even remebers me so why bother

You don’t love me like I love you. I can’t even hold your attention. Literally begging for attention naked and I’m still not interesting. God I’m so fucking embarrassing. When do I get to curl up and die?

#i want death #kill me #i'm a loser #im totally boring #and 100% a figment of your imagination #give me some good news and tell me in not real

I hate that “after bawling my eyes out” head ache

I don’t want to be here anymore I hate everything that is my life and I just want to die. I’m getting so close to doing it myself.

I’m such an absolute waste of space 💫

I wish there was a way to kill myself while simultaneously wiping out the memory of me ever existing from everyones mind

nomenu

I've never told anyone about some of the thoughts in my head or how I really am. I've never told them about how I want to just sleep forever and never wake. I never spoke about how I don't recognize myself anymore. How my chest hurts constantly from the sadness. How I can feel myself withering away and how everything I say makes me cringe cause I can't bare to hear myself speak. Or maybe about how nothing makes sense anymore and I'm so detached from reality. Who knows what's real anymore. Am I real?

rule #1

So hard sometimes

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Am Lost