burned bright as a star

[abysscl]

               independent, semi-selective, canon multi! featured muse: hythlodaeus! loved by maleficar/vesper (21+ & CST)

ACTIVITY : low LINKS : carrd promo

[lovesfolly]

     A soft smile plays on his lips despite his sheepishness. He does truly love his partner. Loves that they can spend the time they do together. Beyond that, they're also – basically married as far as Eros' own people's traditions go. Is that weird..? Has Mason told anyone about that yet or has he more or less kept it quiet? Does he tell people that the love of his life is essentially their enemy? Well, he'd obviously told Phyre and – probably the other guy. But anyone else..? Was he close to anyone else?

     Eros would have to ask about that next time they saw each other. It felt kind of weird to, though… what if that was invasive? What if it was annoying?

     He shakes the thought off, giving a nod as the other speaks.

     “ He likes takin' pictures, absolutely. Though jus' cuz y'er not seein' him take a lot of people… th' only person I know he asks a lot s' me. I like it… makes me feel like ‘m his muse of somethin’. A-and I get more shots of things I make sometimes since I wear ‘em… win-win? I-I’d love it either way, though. ”

     Even if Mason never took pictures of him, Eros would be happy. So long as they got to be together at the end of the day, that was what mattered.

     His head cants to the side slightly at the next question. There's a brief moment where part of his hair shifts, an ear perking up in curiosity. Something quickly hidden by the curls as he shifts his head upright once more.

     “ Oh - um – sure? I dunno how helpful I'll be, but I c'n try m'best. I only really talk t' m' family and – and Mas and a few other friends, so… 'm not al lthat good at interpersonal things. ”

[abysscl]

❝In a way you might be right.❞

Tilting his head to the side before straightening back out. It wouldn't be uncommon for a creative to have a muse, and even less so for one of them. For a time even he had a few, spaced out across the many years, though never really any that had such a strong mutual love. None that could stand up against his need to constantly move either.

❝Being "good" with such things doesn't truly matter to me, all I care for is a truthful answer. An opinion shared with me over what I have to say. Good or bad doesn't matter, only your thoughts.❞

There were no good or bad answers, if he didn't like what he heard then he would deal with it on his own time. Any insight was of use. A thought that sits in his mind for a moment as he tries to think of exactly what he should say, a hand raised to fiddle with his sunglasses for a moment before he's joining it with his other. There was no reason to delay, if he was wrong, he was wrong.

❝There is someone I care for. I am often direct with such things, if I find someone interesting I will say so- bluntly, I see no reason to be flowery about it, such things can be misunderstood. Yet I have a hard time saying so this time, I don't wish to be seen as someone... temporary.❞

Not someone who was only interested for the moment, before he moved onto the next. Some of their kind might be like that, but he couldn't do it, not if he genuinely cared.

❝There are things that have been passed between. Flirting,❞ A word he kind of hated, sounded childish. ❝gestures, contact, blood. Not out of the desire to drain power from the other, but out of a desire to know. Yet... I am not sure that it comes across as any way other than... friendly ? Or casual maybe. I apologize if I'm being too personal with you, but with that in mind, how would I tell if it is one-sided ?❞

[abysscl]

tumblr post that draft so help me god i forgot what i wrote

[solarisligatus]

She's all but beaming as he speaks. The lallafellen lass isn't usually one to peacock or get arrogant, but her chest certainly puffs up a bit in pride. One could find her getting sheepish over praise for herself or her deeds - but when it came to Kitty, that was different. After all, she didn't feel like they were praising her. It was him! And he deserved it!

"He's wonderful."

And she means it. Even despite his oddities - despite what has happened to him... he's wonderful. Her pride and joy as she'd said. Some days, he'd even been her very reason for being. Her reason to keep going despite everything that had happened. Her beautiful boy.

"You're not - and even if you were, I think you deserve to know even just a bit more about me considering how close we are. It was... difficult. Not because of him, he was always so well behaved and sweet. But the people around us... outside of family, not everyone was as accepting or kind. They looked down on him or were afraid. I think... it's part of why he wanted to come with me when Hydaelyn bade me to leave. Even now, there are people that just won't get him, but - he's come such a long way, quite literally, hah. I just hope I can continue being there for him. He's... everything to me."

[abysscl]

It is a moving care that she has for him, one that is easy to tell even without her saying so. But to hear it, to hear how much she cares for and loves her son, it was touching. A feeling he didn't often get swept up by, but hearing it now it seemed impossible to not feel a bit like he might become misty-eyed. Try as he might to seem unmoving, distant even, family matters always seemed to find a way.

❝I'm sure he feels the same. To have a family who cares for him, and a mother who is always there for him no matter what.❞

In truth he did feel a bit envious. Of both of them. To have such a relationship with his mother, in spirit they did, but he always tried to be older than he was. More independent, to try and show that he was strong even on his own, that she didn't need to worry over him. Now it was easy to feel as if he should've let her fret more. And for her, to have such a reason to carry on. To have someone always there no matter what, that would always give you the strength to keep going.

❝You both are very lucky.❞

[lovesfolly]

     He gives a small shrug as he continues scrolling through his own feed. Really, he's thankful that he doesn't have anything remotely inappropriate that he follows. How embarrassing would it be to have that sort of thing just show up on your page while you're in a public place? Showing it to someone, even?

     “ Yeah, s' both really cool and really scary at th' same time. Like, f'er me f'er instance, I c'n connect t' clients and other people who might wanna buy stuff I make, which is great! But then sometimes there are like… really weird people, too. Last month I had somebody constantly tryin' t' talk t' me like every day and hit on me. I had t' keep blockin' ‘em cuz they moved accounts and wouldn’t let up. Dunno how Mas was able t' deal with it f'er me… ”

     Nor did he really want to ask. That was his business. Not Eros'.

     Far be it from him to look a gift horse in the mouth or – however the saying went.

     “ Some of it makes it a lot easier f'er us, though, too, which s' kind of ironic. People make like - Augmented Reality Games and stuff where they pretend stuff s' real so – makes it a lot easier sometimes t' have even jus' a picture here or there tha's… normal. Halloween especially s'great f'er that! ”

     The smaller is still scrolling, looking for something else to talk about when Phyre's next question comes. And though he's never been embarrassed about his relationship - he is a bit sheepish.

     He shrinks slightly, features turning a light red as he nods.

     “ I… really love Mas. Any chance I get t' – I like takin' pictures… f'er keepsakes. ”

[abysscl]

Oh. Maybe that was what he had heard Zero complaining about one night... Now with an understanding, placing it as the context made sense. In a way it was to be expected, opening communication to all people you were bound to run into those that had less than good intentions. Grating, that's what it sounded like. Grating on the nerves to have to endure someone's relentless attempts to "talk". Shaking his head at the thought of such a thing.

Alternate reality games, a string of words he didn't want to touch upon, instead turning his attention to the other's answer to his question.

❝It is a sweet idea.❞

Really it was, words genuine and kind. Most people would want for such things, would they not ? For the ones they love.

❝I often see him a camera when he isn't working with his sire on that...❞ Pausing for a moment as he thinks, choosing to keep the specifics to himself. ❝project of his. I assume it is where his idea of beauty lies, though I have only seen him take pictures of others at their request, never on his own.❞

Maybe it meant more to him that way, when he did take them on his own desire, a way to record those he cares about. Not for their vanity, but for his memory.

❝If I may, again, ask you something that doesn't quite involve technology ? I am over four centuries old, one of which was unfortunately spent asleep, I no longer understand how younger generations are. I have questions that I cannot ask outright to those they pertain to, would you give me your insight ?❞

[solarisligatus]

"I think that's a bare minimum for mothers, huh?"

Her own had been like that. Even if she didn't understand some of Jubibi's decisions, she loved her still. Would do what she could where she could to make things easier for her daughter. Hells, she'd even offered to pay for Jubibi to go to Sharlayan if she decided to study there instead of staying in Ishgard. It had made no sense to her when her only daughter decided to be a knight of all things - but she'd went with it just the same.

"I think so, absolutely... like a ray of sunshine you can't help but be drawn to."

Her little ray of sunshine. The very story that she revolved around, even.

"Proud - does not even begin to cover it, hah. He is, though... all my pride and all my joy."

[abysscl]

A slight shrug given at the question. Maybe not everyone mother could live up to that "bare minimum", but those that did deserved to be praised for it. In a way he wished he had only done as such more for his own mother. A regret he would never be able to make right, but maybe to his mother it wasn't something to regret. Who could say now though, he could only hope.

❝It feels odd to say so, but you should be. From what I've seen, he's a good person despite everything.❞

Never one to actively praise someone, and yet here he was doing just that with her way of raising her son. It couldn't have been easy, not when there wasn't too much of an age difference between the two, but that made it all the more worth being proud of in his eyes.

❝If I sound as though I'm prying then do tell me no, but what was it like ? Taking care of a boy who has been made to be... different from the rest ?❞

[lovesfolly]

     “ Uh – not… really. Maybe th' younger folks but… ‘m autistic? Sometimes stuff jus’ … comes out. ”

     Even as often as Eros tried to keep those thoughts to himself. Sometimes it just happened. Or he'd say things he'd heard before or repeat noises. It – wasn't really a big deal usually since he was around his father or his boyfriend. Seemed he needed to reign it in just a bit more with the elder.

     He blinks a few times, waiting for the other to find his phone. And then he looks between the picture and the man and back again. Ah… ah they were close like he and Mason were, then. Or maybe they hadn't crossed that line.

     “ Well, so long as somebody went over it with ya, tha's th' important part. ”

     His tablet is set on the table and turned on. The screensaver is a picture of Mason - having been distracted by something else. Eros loves these candid photos of him. Loves him.

     Even when he opens it, the wallpaper is another photo of Mason. Quick embarrassment has him clicking on one of the many social media platforms on the tablet. The first one – is twitter. Or - it's not twitter anymore, but Eros doesn't really care about that.

     “ So – bare bones, right? Social media s' another way f'er people t' communicate over really long distances. Y'c'n post about y'er day, or stuff y'er doin'. On this one specifically y'c'n follow people and get followed back. People c'n like a ‘retweet’ y'er posts and send ‘em t’ others essentially. I was on this one f'er a real long time – still am, but usin' it s'… a bit more infrequent these days. ”

[abysscl]

The word is foreign to him, but he makes no move to question it. If that was just how he spoke, then that was that. No need to dig deeper into what might make him that way, personal, medical, whatever else just wasn't his business. Instead offering a small nod in response as he waits.

The look between the "phone" and him, and then back again is another amusing move. If he wasn't here for a lesson in such things he might ask if the other was confused by something, perhaps share his own shortcomings when it came to the thing, but it must be something else. Something he does not ask on, instead looking at the larger box as they turn it on. The photo of the younger artiste is a kind symbol, the next screens photo of him as well moves kind to loving- and also a bit amusing as well.

The explanations of the thing doesn't go as over his head as he had expected. Long distance communication, helpful as it was dangerous. If it was out for everyone to see then he could understand the urging to get him to learn, one image and who knows what would happen. Shifting in his chair as he moves to lean forward, easier to see what was done that way.

❝I see. So it doesn't matter who you might know if everyone is so easily accessed.❞

No doubt that hunters loved such a thing. A sigh as he moves to put away such depressing thoughts aside for the moment. There was no need to get swept away by possibilities, not when it seemed so many of their kind was also active on the social media. Instead turning his attention to a different matter, one he thought would be... lighter for a second.

❝If I may ask, not on the topic of this... whatever you might call it. Were those images before ones you have taken ?❞

[solarisligatus]

"He's my baby," she replies with a gentle nod, "I do all that I can for him."

Even if that meant making new clothes or adjusting older ones quite frequently. Truth be told, it was part of why she'd started to learn weaving in the first place. Anything that she could do to make things even just a little easier for him, she'd do.

Anything at all, really.

Gloved hands clutch tightly to the fabric of her coat. Quiet for a moment.

"He's... always been different, yes. I suppose it's something we both understand, though. Being... different, I mean."

Those gloves, after all, were a symbol of her own oddity. A sign that she was just as different as he. Even if in a different way.

"I've never minded, though. Doing things like this, I mean. I would do even more if I could."

[abysscl]

❝Naturally.❞

Nodding along at the sentiment. His mother was the same way when he was younger. Though it might not have come across as such during their last moments together, and in part because of things he had said, how he had acted... But no one could ever doubt that they cared for each other. His mother was the most important person in his life, everything he ever did was for her, or because of her. She was always in his thoughts in some way or another.

❝Different as he may be, he has a way of bringing people to him. From what I've seen anyway. Outgoing in his own way.❞

Guess it came easily to people like Kitty who cared about everyone regardless of who they were, or when they had met. Similar to his mother in that it seemed. Always making people feel a bit lighter, happier even.

❝I'm sure you're rather proud of him.❞

[lovesfolly]

     “ Uh… guess so? I've jus' always been bad at names. ” He gives a shrug at the thought. A beast. Yeah - he really hates that word.

     Suppose though that this was sometihng he was glad they didn't have in common. Eros really would hate the possibility of unearthing an ancient werewolf who didn't know the next thing about – well, anything. Teaching them about the world from scratch. It seemed hard.

     “ Uh – I mean, it was definitely a weird ask, but I've dealt with weirder. And now that I've seen ya in person, I mean… I get it. ”

     Not that he dressed or acted all that old, but… he didn't exactly fit in either.

     “ Yeah, he's got school stuff, makes sense. ‘m sure he’d be here if he could. ”

     If for no other reason than knowing stranger vampires made the smaller a bit nervous. He was still a ‘pup’ for all intents and purposes! Nowhere near as strong as his parents or even elder cousins. If anything ever went wrong – well, he was a pretty easy target.

     He clears his throat and adjust his seating, taking his tablet out of his bag to set it on the table between them.

     “ Makes sense Mas would ask me t' do this, then. Well – it should be an easy enough lesson t' learn dependin'. I – wanna assume that he at least took ya over most technology that would be important f'er learnin' this..? I'd jus' hate havin' t' fumble through how it all works, too. N-not that I mind! I jus'… don't wanna confuse ya… ”

[abysscl]

"-now that I've seen ya in person-", words that might feel like an insult to anyone else. Perhaps if he had seen himself as the legend they made him he would feel offended so, but they only get a soft chuckle from him instead.

❝I see the youth of this time do not mince their words.❞

Better that way. There was no need to sugarcoat or dance around something, it only led to misunderstanding. If they wished to call him old, so be it, it was the truth in the end. Eyes going from the other to the thing they place down between them, eyebrow raising as he lifts his head just enough to see over his glasses.

❝Him, no.❞

Shaking his head as he reaches into his pocket, withdrawing a phone lit up with a picture of himself and another- rather excited looking- man with red hair. Holding it out to the other with a small shrug, he was still unsure exactly how they worked, but at least he could navigate it well enough to make a call when needed.

❝Zero has told me the basics of these. I still do not understand it all, but I know how to use it enough to get what I need done.❞

Not that it would ever beat speaking in person, a route he would always choose over the small electric box, but when the sunrise was a time limit upon one's life he could see the usefulness.

❝I do not see much use for them in my future, but it is important to be apprised of all dangers to our kind after such a long sleep.❞

[solarisligatus]

Personal time with just one person felt near impossible to get. if it wasn't for having Kitty, Jubibi was sure she'd get none of that sort. So - scheduling even something small with Erenville was rather nice. More than just nice - it had her ecstatic actually.

"Mhm. A personal project."

Oh, but now he was curious. Truthfully, part of her worried her own hobbies outside of combat weren't all that interesting. Hero in one's spare time but a fisher for fun? Not something people thought they'd hear.

"I am... working on clothing for Kitty. He keeps getting bigger and- and changing so... I want to make sure he has things that suit him and fit properly."

[abysscl]

❝Is that so ?❞

It was a kind project, but one could expect such a thing from her certainly. What a struggle that must be, for the both of them even. Though he hadn't known Kitty very long, now that he was thinking about it he had seemingly grown taller in that time. That would probably couldn't it, wouldn't it ?

❝It must be difficult with his affliction.❞

Was that even the right word for it ? Was there a word for it ? Whatever it was must not be the most comfortable thing in the world.

❝I can only imagine how it must've been growing up. Growing pains and all.❞

[lovesfolly]

     This was really the first time Eros had heard of having to – well, look after someone so much older than him. The pack took care of each other, sure, elders included, but – typically it was their own children or grandchildren who would help any of the older members. Even his father wasn't considered old enough for that yet - so Eros himself had no real experience with it. Just stories he'd heard from some of the others.

     He's trying to keep his sniffing subtle - it'd be weird to anyone looking at him to see someone sniffing the air like a dog. Never mind that he sort of was one - nobody needed to know that. However, his little scent journey stops when he hears his name. 

     Oh! This must be him. Truth be told, he didn't look all that old… but suppose that a vampire wasn't really going to. They didn't show their age like his own kind tended to. There was never any telling if someone was over 100 or if they were truly in their twenties. Well, except for Mason. That man acted his age pretty well as far as Eros was concerned. A soft smile spreads across his features as he makes his approach. Yeah - not every day you meet someone as old as this man must be. He certainly smells – dusty.

     “ Hi, hi! Um – sorry I absolutely suck at names, could i get y'er's one more time? Mas told me but I – forget them. Very easily. ”

[abysscl]

❝You not apologize,❞ Waving the notion off with a lazy, well, wave. ❝memory is a beast of it's own we all must contend with. You may call me Phyre.❞

Names could come and go, he certainly shed a fair share of them, in time this one would be lost to the stories as well. At least he could say he pulled one that worked well enough given the names he's heard so far in his relatively short time awake, two of them even numbers...

❝Do forgive me if this was sprung upon you. Some of those younger than I believe it best if I'm taught "modern" things, at length.❞

Truly unfortunate for him. He was supposed to be an elder and yet they were treating him as if he were a child, suppose being asleep for over a century warranted it, but it didn't make it any less tiresome.

❝Your Mason has an exam if I recall, and my...❞

A pause for a moment as it dawns on him the word he had chosen for the other. "My", his... perhaps a little early to be marking someone like that. A clearing of the throat that lands rather on the quiet side before he's fixing his words.

❝And Zero is busy with his own work. I am supposed to learn about "social media",❞ The words drawn out in a questioning tone, as if he wasn't really sure the two went together at all. ❝and he has recommended that I speak to you instead of waiting for his tests to be over. I know nothing on this topic aside from that the children of this day use it heavily, any insight to offer on your part would be appreciated.❞

[solarisligatus]

Perhaps, he says. That word rolls off his tongue so easily when he's trying to keep the peace, as it were. No direct denial for something he might not be in the mood for later. Jubibi knows that well enough. She'd used it doing her younger years. Perhaps another time. Perhaps next chance that we get. Maybe if the time ever comes. Polite not-quite rejection. But she doesn't mind. She knows how he is.

"If nothing else, we could find times we're both free and... do that. Just us, so you're not worrying about too many people."

He prefers his time spent without too much social interaction. Without too many distractions. Even just over a small meal.

"Not currently, no. I've taken care of everything on my plate as of late. Well, aside from a personal project I've been working on, but that's no matter right now."

[abysscl]

A much better idea, one he felt more comfortable accepting. Just the two of them was manageable, enjoyable even. Offering a nod in response. It would be nice, of course it would, that's why he was offering it now ! They didn't really get much time to speak, did they ?

❝A personal project ?❞

Now that was interesting. What did the hero do in her free time ? A question floating about his mind as he gestures for her to follow him down the stairs, he could think of a few things, but none of them fit exactly to him.

❝If you don't mind me asking, what is this personal project ?❞

[abysscl]

In all his years contact with werewolves was extremely rare and limited, so color part of him surprised to learn that the partner he would be handed off to this night was one of them. Contact with those outside of the blood wasn't very frequent for him, not unless it was a "toy" or a thrall, but perhaps in his sleep this sort of union was made common. If the scar on his partner's friend was anything to say though... perhaps not.

Sunglasses adjusted as he leans back in his seat, head propped up on his hand as eyes scan over the books covering the cafe walls. More things he was told he should consume in time if he wished to understand the current time's ideas, and to understand their perception of his kind. Eyes narrowing as he tries to read a spine of one- "Crimson Knights"- well... a small twist of confusion laced with slight disgust crossing his face for a moment. Just for it to be swept away by the sound of another approaching his little corner.

Eyes peeling from the bookshelves to look in the direction of the sound, this must be the one. If scent alone didn't give it away, then the shining bits of pink as he had be told of was a dead giveaway. Everyone must have their own favorite color, he thinks as he gestures to the free chair in front of him.

❝Eros, yes ? Sit, please.❞

@lovesfolly. s.

[solarisligatus]

For Jubibi, so long as it didn't involve the fate of the world, it could be relaxing. Even smaller fights were fun when the universe didn't hang in the balance. After all, this had started as a vacation of sorts. Something that was meant to be much simpler. It just happened to turn into... more than that as time went on.

"I'd certainly hope so! I'm looking forward to it already."

That was just something about her, she supposed. Making friends came easily, but she'd never found herself as endeared to someone so quickly as she was with Lamat'yi. Maybe because she reminded her more an eager young - well, her. Stars still in her eyes and a want for everything to turn out okay. She was noble and friendly. Caring and sweet. Who wouldn't like Wuk Lamat?

"It very much is. We should make a habit of it, then."

For all that she, too, loved traveling, she was always able to sit down and eat with another. Always had time for her family. Otherwise she really would be lonely.

[abysscl]

Habit of it... It was a kind suggestion, but one he didn't feel as thought he should take too seriously. Both of them were ever busy, and if she wasn't then she was accompanied by others. He didn't dislike their friends, he cared for them in his own way, but that way didn't include frequently being around them if not working on something. It was more comfortable being alone in the end.

❝Perhaps.❞

A single word and a slight nod is all the acknowledgement given. Better to keep it vague and brief, he found it often kept upset at bay as it wasn't a denial. Only a "maybe", and a maybe often sufficed.

❝You have no others, or work, waiting on your doorstep so to speak, correct ? I would hate to keep you from things you need do.❞

[solarisligatus]

"No but sometimes you certainly talk as if I am."

Mostly when he explained things as if she didn't know. They were practically the same age! And even if they weren't, she knew what protocol was just as well as any other. She could be responsible! Did he think she couldn't?

Still- there was no reason to get irritated with him. This was just how he was, how he communicated. If she didn't know that much, the she didn't know Hades.

"Yeah, but they're not quite as fun."

She brings the creature closer to her chest, stroking its fur with a hum.

"And they're not very me, either. Hyth would love this sort of thing."

[abysscl]

❝I'm not him, now am I ?❞

The words harsh, another prod upon something that irritated him. As much as he loved Hythlodaeus, mentions of him in comparison to himself... well it was a bit hurtful to say the truth, not that he would. No, he'd just keep an irritated expression and say mean things, easier to do that than have to explain anything he felt when it came to the matter.

❝If you think he would love it then go show him instead. I have no time for these things, next time don't make a mess if you want to say goodbye.❞

[solarisligatus]

"Again, it was the staring, not the being here."

He could be in the same space all he wanted. It was the fact that his gaze had followed every movement she made. That's what had her thinking her wanted something from her. Not that she thought there was anything that she could give him, though. Not that it mattered, either.

"Morality isn't the point. Remorse is. I don't care if you go searching to apologize to everyone who you've hurt. What I care about is if you feel bad at all."

She waves the thought off before shaking her head. This feels like trying to argue with a brick wall.

"If you did, we'd be having a very different discussion."

[abysscl]

Ah, so it was was a matter of emotions then. If he tried he could understand what she meant, that he should feel this sensation of "remorse" for all that he did, for all that he hurt. Such a shame then that he did not.

❝Such things were beaten out of me as a child.❞

Words that should be considered heavy, but are spoken as if he was merely commenting on the weather. There was no need to consider such things "heavy", or even hurtful, they were just how his father conducted things. An emperor cannot feel sorrow for those that get crushed under foot.

❝These matters of "remorse", they are as foreign to me as it can be. Does that serve to answer anything in your mind ? As some means to an end ?❞

[abysscl]

Expansions on Phyre's alternative verses

Fandomless

Essentially the same as his main verse, just lacking the world building specific to v.t.m. He remains a nomad and an elder vampire with strong blood that has only grown stronger by draining other vampires. Retains the creative and beautiful aspects of the clan he's from in his main verse. Vampire rules change depending on lore, but he is immune to garlic and "holy" items and grounds, various other small things like the ability to enter homes and cross running water.

FF.X.IV

A nightkin wanderer, Phyre holds blood connected to the voidsent queen Lilith. Must consume aether from other beings. Generally a decent person at least, rarely does he act with the intent of hurting someone unless they raised a hand to him first. Job would not be a traditional one, but something similar to MNK just more... feral.

H.S.R

An elder vampir "lord" who has spent nearly all of his life wandering the cosmos. Has no interest in being a "lord" simply for having a closer generation to their ancestor, prefers to walk as equals if possible. Often travels with the Name.less, but isn't officially a member himself.