Ace Beans

Joy and positivity, for any and all within the diverse spectrum of Asexuality.

[fuckyeahasexual]

Ace and ready to mace

I literally cannot look at this ask and not picture someone macing an aphobe when bigotry falls out of their mouth 

[swiftrunnerfelidae]

question: do you mean spraying with a can of mace, or smacking them in the jaw with a medieval weapon? I mean I’m up for both but I prefer the second.

[fuckyeahasexual]

I picture the spray, because I think it’s best to keep moving and I wouldn’t want to have to clean my weapon all the time. Your average person can equip one or more weapons so it’s really up to you.

[ace-beans]

Alternatively, a mace that sprays out mace or a can of mace that sprays maces.

[fuckyeahasexual]

ace culture is baking a cake at 1am because you wanted cake and 1am is a perfectly normal time for baking cake

Fact

[ace-beans]

Oh, I’m so glad I’m not the only one who does this.

[ace-beans]

I've been questioning if I'm asexual for quite some time now and I wanted to ask: how did you know that you were? I get crushes on guys but (mostly) in a romantic way. When I was younger I never understood why people my age always felt to need to talk about sex/desperately wanted to have sex. The idea of being intimate with someone feels odd to me but I don't know whether thats because I'm insecure and confused or actually ace.. I found your blog and thought you might be able to help

Personally the only way I started to notice was through the behaviour of others, even then it was many years later before I stubbled upon the term asexuality and identified with it. Like you I just couldn’t understand people’s interest in it... I think I went along with it at first but very quickly the jokes got boring, the idea of it was boring and the obsession and importance of it shown in film and media just seemed unrealistic... 

In regards to experiencing attraction, I found myself feeling put off by the idea of physical contact and relationships. I began to think as an asexual, no one would ever love me or that I was incapable of love. It took many years after that to realise I really did like the idea of being physically intimate with someone, so long as it remained completely non-sexual. I also found out how I experience romantic, sensual and aesthetic attractions and which genders I experience them towards.

The bottom line is... it definitely took me a long time to figure out, so don’t feel you have to rush yourself. If anyone tells you that you need to know straight off the bat, that simply isn’t how self discovery works. You’re bound to feel confused at times and you’re allowed to take how ever long you need to figure yourself out. Hope something I’ve said here helps you out a little. :)

[ace-beans]

Shout out for any Aro and Ace POC~

https://aceandaropoc.tumblr.com/ Has started up a safe space providing positivity and advice for Aro and Ace POC, as well as support for all LGBTQ+ POC. Check them out! :)

[ace-beans]

Hi I just wanted to say that recently I came out to my friends as asexual and aromantic and they're being so nice about it!! One of my friends even said she'd buy me an ace flag (because I'm buying her a pan one) and idk why I'm telling you but just really wanted to tell someone because I'm feeling so happy about coming out to them! Sorry that this was kinda random. Also I love your blog!

This is so sweet! I love hearing stories of friends under different identities coming out and supporting one another. The world needs so much more of this!

[ace-beans]

Your blog is so awesome!!! I love it so much!!!

Thank you so much! You’re awesome too :)

[ace-beans]

Just out of curiosity...

Is there anyone out there who feels they would benefit from a blog that focused on Agender/Neutrois/Non-binary identities (Primarily Agender) And an individual’s process of transitioning to a more gender neutral identity/body?

Either reblog this, like it or even instant message me so I can try to get a rough idea of wether or not this is something that would benefit people.

[ace-beans]

I saw your response on importance, but what do you think about "modifier" talks? Everyone's different, but my aromanticism (while important) has always felt like it mods my ace-ness cause it basically deleted my anxiousness for forcing myself to search high n' low for a non-touchy-touchy romance. I just don't have the desire to even try. (I know some people say asexual aromantic instead of aroace so might be similar?) But the whole "being het is the important part of het ace" bugs me.

I don’t know if I’m 100% sure on what you’re asking, but again I feel any label that is important to how an individual experiences things should be respected if you actually consider yourself a decent human being who cares about people’s feelings. Personally The ace part of my identity is important for explaining to people ‘how’ I experience my relationships with people, but I feel my identity as an aromantic is just as important or in some cases more important/relevant depending on who I’m talking to or what situation I’m dealing with. 

If someone tells me that their romantic identity is more important than their orientation, then it’s really no big deal for me to just accept that and keep it in mind for that individual person, in the same way someone might tell me that their orientation is the more important part. It should definitely be down to the individual to decide that, not for others to ‘tell you’ what parts of you are more or less important. You know you best and others who care about and value you should want to respect that. 

(I hope this properly answers your question)

[ace-beans]

did you make your profile pic or is it from somewhere? that bean is so cute!

Thank you, and yes I did make it. Though I’m not entirely certain where the idea came from... I think it has something to do with the fact that we call people born on the island I live on ‘beans’. Some people here also use the term “Cool beans” so I thought “Ace Beans” was a good play on words for a blog name. (Sometimes I think it looks like a purple kidney though...)

[ace-beans]

I sometimes feel like treating hetero aces and aros as seperate from the LGBT community makes aspec identities into an afterthought... like the aspec part is just something you tack on after you identify yourself with the straights or LGBT. Idk if I'm wording this right, but I had this thought and I just wanted to see if anyone understands what I mean, or agrees.

I think I understand what you’re trying to say. The way I see it... different identities should not be ‘ranked’ in importance. If an identity is important to you then that’s what matters, people who actually love you and value your wellbeing will respect that. 

[archives-sunshunes]

Happy Pride Month to everyone~! ❤️💛💚💙💜 You matter. You’re loved. ♡

[ace-beans]

Me (Surprised/shocked at something): Fuck me...

Friend: You can’t say that, you’re asexua-

Me: Fuck you.

[ace-beans]

Happy Pride Month Everyone!

(I might have officially come out to my mum as agender on the 1st day of it unintentionally. Ironically I had no idea it was even Pride Month...)

[shenanigans-of-a-young-person]

As an Asexual thank you <3

[allacesarelgbt]

[Image: a tweet from Thomas Sanders that says “To anyone reading this who’s asexual or aromantic: you are all completely valid and I love you all so much. 💜”]

[jeffreymarsh]

I've been questioning if I'm asexual but I'm so worried about it because there's so much negativity about it even in the lgbt community. I feel like I'll never belong anywhere because of this

There are TONS of people that love and accept the asexual community. I’m one of them!!!💛

Here’s a hint. It stinks that many of us have to deal with hate. What stinks more is having to hide and lie and never feel comfortable in your own life because you aren’t living your full truth. 💛

[ace-beans]

What is your opinion on 13+ y/o identifying as asexual?

Personally I was around this age when I started to notice I didn’t seem to feel the same way as all my friends, I didn’t use the label asexual until many years later when I stumbled across others identifying in such a way online. (I didn’t even know it was a thing until then, I thought I was just abnormal)

I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with someone wanting to identify as asexual at such an age if it feels like the correct term for them to communicate the how they feel. If 2, 3 or 20 years down the line that label no longer feels correct to the way you’re experiencing attraction then there’s nothing wrong with changing it. Labels shouldn’t have to be permanent, just a means to communicating your personal experience.

[ace-beans]

Thank you for supporting hetromantic aces. I see way to much hate even inside the ACE community just because they have attraction towards the opposite gender. ❤️

Unfortunately the hate online does seem to be especially loud. It’s sad when it really doesn’t take that much effort to just be kind and supportive towards fellow human beings... All the hate really proves is someone’s lack of ability to understand or accept people for who they are. 

Either way hetromantic aces aren’t going away no matter how much people rant and scream about it. I’ve attended numerous Pride events and LGBT+ community groups, all of them had no issue with aces of any romantic orientation being present, they were welcomed and loved.