'Sometimes we are willing to do anything to not feel pain
๐๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ฒ ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐๐ผ ๐๐๐ผ๐ฝ ๐๐๐ณ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ป๐ด
Substances, unsuspecting behaviors and work: sometimes we are willing to do anything to not feel pain. We spoke to an expert about it.
It takes courage to face pain and maybe, one day, stop suffering. To think of a love gone or a mother who is no more, to live with a disease for which there is no cure or with the ghosts of a catastrophic event such as an earthquake.
For all of this we usually say that it takes courage, nobody teaches us anything.
So many of us do everything, including harmful habits that add to the pain itself, not to think about it. Others, however, look for shortcuts.
The philosopher Emil Cioran was also convinced of this when he wrote that "the courage that most people lack is to suffer in order to stop suffering". How to blame us after all? We are human beings and it is not easy to make room for negative emotions within us.
ยซPain is something so aversive that we are willing to do anything but not have to feel it. But often not wanting to go through it leads us to worse consequences than the pain itselfยป, explains the psychotherapist Federica Cagnoni, one of the authors of The wounded mind, going through pain to overcome it (Ponte alle Grazie).
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐จ๐ ๐๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐
Substance abuse is one of them. There is alcohol, yes, but also drugs: "We live in the era of painkillers, not only physical but also psychic". We can thus delude ourselves, for example, that a psychiatric drug alone can easily resolve the consequences deriving from a trauma, only to then realize that most of the time it can only temporarily help us to soothe some connected symptoms.
Then there are those who abuse behaviors that we are not inclined to consider harmful: ยซPeople, for example, who sleep many hours during the day; in order not to think about what makes us suffer, we hide in sleep; for example, in those who experience the so-called post-traumatic stress disorderยป. A not so rare disorder that derives, as the name suggests, from a trauma: A symptom is the constant resurfacing of the traumatic event in the mind with images and even sounds linked to that experience". The force of a traumatic event projects its effects along the entire time axis: ยซAn earthquake, for example, can cause three types of consequences. Caging the mind in a past memory that is continually relived; trapping ourselves in a present in which we live in constant alert that that event may recur; Even an unhealthy approach to work can hide a pain that we struggle to face Hyperactivity becomes another false strategy to stop suffering: so we fill our days with roadmaps that take our breath away In these cases when we stop we feel terrible, to the point of experiencing intense states of anxiety at the idea of โโhaving nothing to do". A form of horror vacui, fear of a void in which to find ourselves alone with the ghosts that haunt our minds.
๐๐จ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐๐ข๐ง (๐ฐ๐ก๐ข๐๐ก ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐๐ ๐๐)
Too often we are led to minimize what concerns the lives of others. It happens with work, where we can convince ourselves that what others do is not as burdensome as what we do; but it also happens with pain, with the temptation to label what makes others suffer as something of little importance. Although a scale of trauma exists, awareness is however fundamental: ยซAlthough there are pains that statistically have a greater impact, even a trivial event can leave a mark and have such strong emotional implications as to generate traumatic consequences, to ensure that the aftermath does not is more the same as before". If it is true, as some statistics claim, that love mourning is the leading cause of suicide in the world, it is also true that the loss of a job can still ruin a life as well as a sentimental betrayal. In short, we should always avoid benaltrism, that is, the temptation to think that the real problems are always other than those raised by people with sensitivities different from ours. Because if life, as a very popular metaphor says, is a journey, everyone faces it with a different ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ (๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐) ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ which is also ยซthe set of skills that we have accumulated to cope with pain, fear, all anguish and anger, that is the main emotions that a trauma brings with itยป.'
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