Partly Cloudy

with Thunderstorms in the Vicinity

[actually-manic-pixie]

do you think young loulan also handed a caterpillar covered in leaves to suirei like she did with maomao and suirei smiled so loulan grew up thinking it's a good love language?

[actually-manic-pixie]

love the manga version of loulan's mic drop in front of jinshi and her mom. the diva is swinging her firearm around like an absolute menace.

[actually-manic-pixie]

i just realized all those "you think two steps ahead" growing up is me catastrophizing every event and trying to survive what may not have been that serious.

[actually-manic-pixie]

the garnet pavilion as the literal chamber of secrets

[actually-manic-pixie]

The

A-paw-thecary

🥣 Diaries

I sew maomao's outfit for my dog

[actually-manic-pixie]

loulan went from manic pixie to female rage real quick

[actually-manic-pixie]

Loulan: colorblindness does not extend to flags, father. Mom's are obviously red.

[actually-manic-pixie]

shisui really knew what she's doing getting maomao and her sister to get along because she knew she will leave both of them behind

[actually-manic-pixie]

suirei giving maomao books and things to do like parents handing out play-doh to keep their kids distracted

[actually-manic-pixie]

am so scared of dissolving into the background as if it's not my natural talent.

[actually-manic-pixie]

do you randomly type your buddies' names on fb's search bar to see if you're still friends or are you normal?

[actually-manic-pixie]

i stopped managing hyperfixations, i let splitting do the work

[actually-manic-pixie]

Idealized so hard I saw the good in you.

[actually-manic-pixie]

I wear my heart on my sleeve along with my abandonment issues so when I say I'm okay but I act really angry, that means I am really angry, I just do not want to say it because what if you leave me because I am?

[actually-manic-pixie]

It's quite too late for me to demand to be chosen now, but you see, when I was a child, I got ignored or told off for wanting a sense of security, and now, in adulthood, I got this overripe, internalized bratty attitude and the fear of being rejected if I tell people I feel this way.

[actually-manic-pixie]

The thing about keeping your splitting episode under control is that, "you are once again excluded, they probably do not really like you and want you out of their lives" and "they could have just really forgotten to include you, it happens sometimes" are two very possible scenarios.

[actually-manic-pixie]

no, i do not turn off read receipts. i find it unfair, and as someone very anxious, i do not wish to induce anxiety to other people. if i hadn't seen or responded to your message, that means i really haven't opened it. if it's taking forever for me to open it, that means i'm not in the right headspace to reply. if i opened it but not ready to reply, i'll say so. "chats are supposed to be similar to emails" is crap. at first, we want to be as connected as possible, now that it's possible, we want to go backward.