Adam's Collection

Fresh rainbows daily, and some surprises. :) Adam Christopher Rudd. I am a visual artist, born and raised in San Francisco, sharing some colors here. Follow me on Instagram: adamchristopherrudd.

[syntheticae]

[rain-bowss]

[adamthegirl]

After singing karaoke last night, I had a realization. I really don't like doing it and I really don't want to do it, but Johnny's wife had wanted me to at their anniversary party and I didn't, I would've but it wasn't possible for several reasons, so I sort of felt like I owed her one so to speak. So I did it mainly last night to pay that debt. Imaginary, of course. But she was happy I did it. She is so sweet and I like when she gives me a big approving smile when I do it. 

And everybody who was there was like supportive and clapping and cheering, which I think was because I had been and I always am very supportive when people sing and stuff.

And what I realized is like even if you don't sing well, if you just sort of have fun, or act like you're having fun… It helps other people have fun and it elevates their night. And like just being a participant instead of an observer helps everyone have more fun.

So that gave me a different perspective and like, if that's part of it, it makes me feel more inclined to make myself do it occasionally. Though I think I'm good for six months now… haha but yeah. If I see it more as a thing where it's like it makes people happy or contributes to a more fun experience for everyone, then it makes me want to give that from myself and just put my own fear and stress aside and contribute.

I only sing like three songs, though. 

The thing is, I have to be drunk enough to do it, and that's a problem. I have to wean myself off the notion that I need alcohol to give me the nerve to do it.

I decided not to drink cocktails/hard liquor last night, I only drank beer. Still the alcohol content in the beers I chose was not listed on the menu and the beers were stronger than I expected. Usually if I get a beer, I always get a Sapporo draft. (I mean, in this venue. Otherwise I would probably get Guinness.) But I wanted to try some of the other beers on the menu so I got two different ones that I was unfamiliar with. They were definitely stronger than a Sapporo.

Anyway. Yeah. Singing. I am for sure not a singer. I have no talent for singing but I have a strong speaking voice and I can project well, so when I do a song that's sort of sing-talking, I can manage it. 

[adamthegirl]

The king will entertain your praises, with an eye of suspicion. Then settles in, knowing he is adored. And snuggles down for a nap. 

[adamthegirl]

[mrsterlingeverything]

Truthfully im 71 an old man and all of this happened long ago

[adamthegirl]

[adamthegirl]

It's definitely a whole different vibe there without H, and it's too bad, because he's charismatic and his voice is a unique specimen, but we have fun without him anyway, I guess. I do miss him. His type of voice does seem to be missing from the mix. But it's always fun anyway.

An unbelievably quiet neighborhood, walking home. It feels very safe. There's like nofuckingbody whatsoever out here. Just me. I walk like 25 blocks alone at midnight, but there's no problems. And if there was, despite being intoxicated, I feel like I could handle it.

Actually ate food there tonight which I don't usually do, but I only had avocado and peaches earlier, all day. So I ordered a couple Unagi mango avocado tacos, and they were actually so good, but I was drunk and I spilled soy sauce on my red pants. Not the vibe. But because I have worked there before, it was easy for me to clean up and take everything away and just clear up the space and make it nice and nobody working there actually had to deal with it.

I always kind of had a feeling I would end up like this. Not spilling soy sauce on my pants, but like, intoxicated and walking at midnight alone.

I mean, without Ruby. Ruby is my everything in the way that Fuzzle-puff is my everything except I don't talk about Ruby. In the absence of Ruby, Fuzzle-puff is my everything. Ruby can take care of herself because she's strong and intelligent and capable. Fuzzle-puff cannot take care of himself. He needs me.

[adamthegirl]

Wordle 1,883 3/6 ⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜ 🟩🟩⬜🟨⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

[adamthegirl]

I'm on the walk home. I'm really happy that I did the singing anr I made Johnny's wife happy. Because I owed her one. I said "I'm saving all my lovin' just for you", in the song, and I pointed at her. And she liked it. I love Johnny. 😭 it's hard to explain but it is what it is. 

[adamthegirl]

I did it, I did it, I sang karaoke again, I sang I'm in love again by Fats Domino, this time standing and without my emotional support Tim

[adamthegirl]

[adamthegirl]

I'm at Johnny's place and it's weirdly quiet for a Saturday night 

Trying to work up the nerve to sing for the mrs because I didn't last time at her anniversary party for complicated reasons and she was disappointed

[adamthegirl]

I just saw this on the street and ironically, despite the fact that I don't really know what it says, it's significant because that's the birthday of the guy I was talking about yesterday. One of the Love Punks, turned bank president. 

[adamthegirl]

I'm in such a strange time in my life, maaan. Having so many epiphanies popping off left and right, and just insights and clarity and the swelling sense of being on the brink. It's hard to articulate.

It's a feeling somewhat similar to what I was feeling October and November of last year, during the time period when I saw that rainbow at the Bay Bridge and I was walking around singing and it was a rainy night, etc. and then the feeling I felt like almost exactly a month later when I was walking around taking pictures, sort of chasing the aurora and it was foggy and beautiful out and everything. There was like a magical light that night.

And I got that one picture, I mean I got like hundreds of pictures but I got that one picture that I love so much with the green sky and the primary colors of the houses on the hill, I'm just in love with that one. It doesn't seem to mean anything to anybody else but I absolutely love that. It's one of my favorite pictures from last year or ever.

Anyway I feel kind of like that. Like it's a magical time and things are changing in a good way. 

[adamthegirl]

Looks a bit like a UFO in the sky

[51316120825getty]