Gender equality: real or myth?
Gender Equality: "the state of equal ease of access to resources and opportunities regardless of gender, including economic participation and decision-making; and the state of valuing different behaviors, aspirations and needs equally, regardless of gender".
I am a mother of three beautiful kids, two boys and a girl. Raising boys is not easy and required patience, tolerance and determination to soldier on the chaos, the heart stopping moments of finding your baby on a tree without knowing how he got there in first place or that bouncing ball that keeps hitting photo frames, wall and neighbours 'cars. After having a girl I thought to myself that raising a girl is going to be less hectic. Little did I know that though physically I do less as she is her daddy's little girl through and through, mentally I am worrying twice as hard or more than I am with the boys. I find myself revisiting my childhood; rethinking and retracing growing up as a young girl in Lesotho. Of late, my mind has habouring on the concept of gender equality in Lesotho, Africa even globally.
As a young mosotho I grew up surrounded by hardworking sisters, women, wives and mothers some educated some not but all working hard towards making a living for them and their families . I was in awe of the strength they possessed and wanted to follow suite. But along the way I struck by realisation that all was not as good as it appears; some of these women had to live everyday with under the influence of inequality both at work and home either through cultural abringing , life circumstances or lack of options. Some of this warriors had to work full-time jobs 5 to 7 days while raising children and still be expected to put warms meals on the table at the end of everyday and be dutiful wives. What was most horrible was the emotional and physical abuse they endured from their significant others. This affected both the working and non working woman and during those time there few, that had the courage to leave and never came back or found themselves in a similar situation. I always wondered what made some stay or leave just to return over and over again. Was it fear of facing the life alone, the shame of a broken marriage, financial dependence, responsibility of breaking the family apart , the children? Or was the norm to stay because all their friends and family did the same so why should one be the exception?
Until this day there has never been one common answer the applied but live progressed. Now in my adult life there are more work opportunities for women and and more initiatives in promoting gender equality in workplaces and homes. More husbands help around the house with cooking, cleaning and playing major roles in raising kids. One often wonders whether we are closer than before to the gender equality spectrum. With all this changes some women are still living in emotionally and physically abusive relationships, child bearing is still a woman's job thanks to the anatomy of the woman's body. Pregnancy prevention is majorly a woman's responsibility with all the hormonal altering methods presented to us. Is a pill or an depo-like method for men? It is so shocking that for a wife to donate eggs or decide to get sterilised a husband's consent is required. What do they need to consent for? It is not like he is contributing towards the egg production nor is he likely to carry the baby half the pregnancy ?
Is gender equality(50:50 ratio) an attainable goal or is it just myth that motivate women to keep striving for that balance? or should women be content with properly 35% they have achieved so far? As mother of boys and girls should I raise them equal or should I start encouraging my baby girl to work towards achieving the 50% myth ? Will it even be possible or will I just setting impossible milestones?