“Those who abandon their mission are trash, those willing to abandon their allies are worse than scum.” Words that once resounded through his mind like a beating drum yet despite how often he once echoed them, he cannot refute how little he truly understood the creed that would, that had, defined him. He is a proud Shinobi of Konohagakure, steadfast in his belief, and yet it took loss to forge the undying flame deep within his breast, to nurture dying embers into a spark of lightning deep within him. Kakashi breathes deep, calming himself before allowing his left eye to open to a sea dyed red, a constant reminder of the cost of indifference that he had long since left behind.
The Will of Fire states that Konoha is a family, yet he is more akin to a guard dog lurking on the outskirts, always alert, always waiting for something to occur. The ghosts are quieter here, where the shadows of the past cannot hang low over his head, where failure does not haunt him at every turn of his head. He heard the whispers of course, the curse of Team Seven, the repeat of the Sannin and yet every time he looked at the photograph of his precious students all he sees is his own failures staring back at him. Some saw the Sannin in them, yet all he sees is the ember of another flame, a reminder of how utterly he failed to embody that which burns in the heart of every one of Konoha’s Shinobi.
No, he does not exemplify what makes those who bear the Will of Flame great, he is the guard, the shadow cast by indomitable flame that lurks and creeps at the edge of vision, yet this is a role he wears willingly, the half broken promise made to the ghost of a friend so very long ago. Once he had sworn to put the mission above every, and for that a friend had died long before their time, the only reminder they had lived, a name etched in stone and a scar that will never heal no matter the time that passes. He saw himself in Sasuke, saw Obito in Naruto, saw Rin in Sakura, and he swore, swore, that he would never allow the past to repeat no matter the cost. Yet he had failed so utterly that regret seeps in whenever he slows enough to allow it. Chidori was to be the ultimate tool to protect, a technique forged in the blood of battle after battle reforged in hopes it would be used to protect, yet the cursed chirping led once more to the path that he wished for them to so desperately avoid.Â
“Team Seven is cursed.” To Konoha it had long since become a fact of life, and yet he tried to embody the Will of Fire, to nurture the embers of the past into something new. Yet he failed, and in that failure that past became another constant reminder, another tally mark in a long string that set them on this accursed path. He wonders, somedays, if perhaps it would have all played out differently if he had of been just a touch faster, if he had trusted another more than he had, maybe if he did then every waking moment wouldn’t be haunted by ghosts and failures, by what ifs and never weres. Obito could have done it he thinks, could have been there to stop Sasuke going down the path he did, perhaps together they could have walked another path, one which would have kept him from staining his hands with the blood of another friend.
Yet they told him that the death was little more than a necessary cost, a that a shinobi is prepared to do whatever it costs to complete the mission. And Kakashi hates, hates with all his heart that their deaths were considered necessary, that he’s lauded as a prodigy, a genius when the only people to see beyond that lie are only remembered by their names carved into stone. ANBU helped to recapture the flame, to make him little more than a face in the crowd, and yet they never left him, were never replaced despite his hardest efforts.
“Kakashi.” A wispy phantom, one that pulls him from his stupor as the ghost appears before him like he has so many times before. He can’t being himself to look at the right side, disfigured, crushed, crushed, crushed. “Idiot Kakashi blaming himself again, for me, for Rin, for Sensei, and you’re wearing that silly mask again!” He is smaller this time, younger, and his eyes are so full of pity that he hates it so so much. “Obito… why?” A hushed, broken tone, a mask shattered as he reaches so desperately towards the boy before him. “I chose this, remember? We’ll see the future together!”
A heartbeat, as the wisp turns to the memory of another, the nightmare long faded as she looks at him with little more than soft smiles, devoid of the anger that curses and haunts his every waking moment again and again and again. A breath and she too is gone, replaced with the man whose shadow he strives to carry with every action. “Kakashi.” A smile even as his gaze turns skyward, looking towards the sun even as the hawk squawks loud enough to make the echo disappear.
Kakashi sighs, closing his left eye and pulling the mask down again to cover it as the world once dyed blood-red returns to a variety of hues, the Jounin would never make a good Kage he thinks, so easily lost to sentimentality and emotion that time itself begins to fade away in its wake. A blink, two, gaze turning to the hawk overhead as it swoops into a dive, a loud scree in its wake as alert gaze turns to the scroll clutched within its talons. In a moment doubt and anger and hatred is gone, pulling the book from his breast before leaving his arm outstretched, waiting for the hawk to land before lazily reaching upwards to scratch the stray crown as feathers.
“Maa~ That time already then? Time to go.” Lazily he takes the scroll, leaving without looking at the pocketed message, knowing already the words it contains. Yet he stops, gaze turning toward the ninken that appear in little more than poofs of smoke, they have been his partners, his friends for the longest time, and even they do not look at him with sorrow filled eyes as Kakashi feels the weight, the sorrow begins to lift from weary shoulders. “What’s the plan boss?” The words are lazy, a reflection of himself in a way and yet Kakashi smiles, allowing it to reach towards his good eye for the first time in two and a half years. “Go to training ground three and prepare the standard traps, ten meters of wire each connected to two explosive seals on both end, Sakura-chan and Naruto-kun have grown, and I think we need to put it to the test.” Deviousness sneaks into his gaze, flipping the book open and beginning to stroll towards the centre of the village.
Pakkun follows, loyal, knowing that whatever that look heralds will no doubt require more preparation than they’ve had to put to any of the missions in the past two years. “What’re you planning, boss…?” Yet the look offered is one full of mirth, reminiscent of the one found so commonly on another, as the former ANBU spins a Kunai on his finger. “Maa~ Pakkun the bell test isn’t that dangerous~” And yet the shiver down the Ninken’s spine is all too telling of the danger in the mirth even as the Jounin’s head remains down… before Kakashi hears the oh so familiar shout that can herald one thing and one thing only. “Boss…”
“Uzumaki Naruto has returned to Konoha.”