Adventures in nursing

laughter is the best medicine. and propofol.

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My hospital started Computerized Physician Order Entry this week

All the docs are like:

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My kids and husband get snow days but I still have to work

When I get home after 12 hours it's like:

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Testicular tortion

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Successfully resuscitating a patient in asystole

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When you give your patient go-lytely..

..or Kayexalate... I hate that stuff

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Noncompliant patients

you know... the COPD'ers, DKA'ers, CHF'ers, etc...

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My patient weighed 80 lbs... and was 3 years old.

And no, she did not have prader willi syndrome... but she did have sleep apnea.

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My Boss is CEO

Love this video, check it out!

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I wish nurses would understand what it's like to have a chronic pain disease and to sometimes have no option but to go to the ER for drugs. It's a horrible position to be in and being referred to as "drug seeking" makes it so much worse. Your jokes about drug seeking patients really struck a nerve. I'm sure some people really are addicted, but every single chronic pain friend that I have has had a bad experience with a nurse who assumes we're lookin' for a fix.

I feel for you.  I really do.  I think it's fucked up what has happened to so many people with chronic pain.  I don't know what the right answer is, but having your life controlled by drugs is no way to live.  I think big Pharma is partly to blame, but I won't get into that.  I see plenty of people I know are in genuine pain and I do everything I can to try to help them.  And they are grateful, and I don't mind going that extra mile for them.  Because believe it or not, I love caring for others.  But there are also the ones that are on their cell phones eating a turkey sammich with normal B/P and HR and complaining of 10/10 pain.  And demanding drugs.  And bitching at me.  Those are the ones that I'm talking about.  I'm sure you are not like that.  Being addicted to something is not the same as being a drug addict.  I am addicted to coffee- I go through withdrawals if I don't consume it on a regular basis.  Does that make me an addict?  Yes, if it makes my life unmanageable and I am constantly thinking of ways and means to get more.  If my relationships are strained because of my Keurig, and I lose my job because I keep stealing the Maxwell House.  Then you could call me an addict.  If your pain medication use causes these symptoms, then you could say you are an addict.  If, on the other hand, you are dependent on a drug because you will go through withdrawal symptoms (pain) without it, you are addicted.  And that is nothing to be ashamed of.  That shit sucks.

p.s. I wish every patient would know what it's like to take care of an asshole :)

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When my patient tries to get a little too friendly with me

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This is my hospital's "Spring Hygeine Poster"

I shit you not.  Which is exactly what a bird sitting on your hand will do.  And that is not very hygienic at all. 

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Looks like I struck a nerve with that last one.

People be like:

"I'm offended by a joke I don't get!" 

But seriously,

I love you guys.  And I want you to know, I have stalked each and every one of you...

Except for those of you whose tumblrs play music.  I exit that shit immediately.

So thank you.  Even the haters, because the haters make me famous.

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When my patient thinks she's at the Hilton...

The "H" outside doesn't stand for "Hotel"!

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When I waste my drug seeking patient's extra narcotics down the drain

It's like:

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Great blog! Love these!! Keep it up! 😊

— randomandsillythoughts

Spank you ! xoxo

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Trying to navigate pre-op, the OR, and PACU

this place is a fucking maze

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Today was my last day working on the floor

My friends were like:

I was like: