𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You and Jiyong have been broken up for three months but when everything falls apart you naturally reach for whatever feels steady.
𝐊𝐰𝐨𝐧 𝐉𝐢𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐀/𝐍: oh my goodness?! i’ve been working on this for a little over two months now and it’s been quite challenging because it’s a little different from the stuff i usually write and it’s ALOT longer like it’s definitely the longest fic on my page now. When i started i had no idea where it was gonna go, i didn’t even have a plot or anything it was just the first sentence and somehow we got here. i’m so glad i finaaallyy get to share this with you all!! 💗
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: drinking, being drunk, exes (who don’t act like exes) panic attack, crying, breaking down
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You knew you were making a mistake, you could feel it in the way your chest burned with every breath even though the cold air filling your lungs felt too crisp. It was too late, you told yourself.. You had already called him drunk, crying.
When he told you he was coming over, you immediately refused. Your apartment felt too small right now, empty bottles of whatever you’d just drowned yourself in without checking the labels, scattered across the kitchen counter.
You decided to make your way over to his; it was a short walk anyway. You felt stupid, of course. But Jiyong was the only person you could even stand the thought of right now.
Everything felt uneven, like your whole world was tilted all wrong and he was the only thing that made sense to you, the only thing that your mind actually reacted to in it’s numb haze.
You didn’t need to knock when you got there, he already had the door open with a blanket in his arms. It was the one you’d gifted him last winter, you were always complaining about how his house is a literal freezer and he never had enough blankets.
“Hey.” he said simply, but the word came out in the softest tone as he draped the blanket around your shoulders like you were something precious.
You suddenly felt the need to explain, to justify this, so you opened your mouth without a plan, hoping something that made sense would come out.
“I just—I didn’t..”
Jiyong shushed you gently, reaching out to brush a strand of hair out of your face. “I know..”
Your eyes blurred with tears, an ache in your chest bloomed at how gentle he was being.. It hadn’t even been a full three months since everything fell apart.
“Come here.” He reached a hand out, his fingers just barely wrapping around your wrist as he guided you inside.
Any logic or reasoning you had left disappeared the second he touched your wrist. He had only been your ex for three months now, and here you were, falling apart, and the first thing you reached for was him.
He lead you into the living room and you hesitantly sat down curling yourself around the pillow on his couch, the one you always deemed your favorite.
You noticed he was pacing a little, unsure of what to do with himself but you could see the way his eyes studied you. he was concerned.
“What?” you slurred, your brows pulling together. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Jiyong took a shaky breath, finally deciding to sit down next to you on the couch. He was trying to shake off the concern but he couldn’t, not when you looked this wrecked.
“I’m worried about you.” He admitted, noting how dull your eyes were. He couldn’t help but wonder how long this had been going on without him knowing a thing, the thought made him sick.
You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. “Stop, Jiyong.” You watched his lips part knowing he was about to protest, it made you pull away instinctively “Just please, don’t start.”
He sighed, holding your gaze for a little longer before looking away, he couldn’t bring himself to meet your eyes. “Why did you call me?” The words felt too bitter on his tongue, he hated it.
Your heart sank, combining with the pounding in your head—it drew a whine from you.
Jiyong’s head snapped back to look at you when he heard that pitiful whine. “You’re not okay,”
There was a small shake of your head, still trying to deny or still holding onto hope that everything in your life wasn’t falling apart. Then you curled in on yourself, pressing your face into the pillow in an attempt to make yourself as small as you felt inside.
“I’m fine.” You could already feel the warm press of tears behind your eyes.
He was getting frustrated now, devastatingly focused on every little expression you made.
“I don’t know what’s wrong, because you won’t tell me, and—” He inhaled sharply, running a hand over his face before speaking again, softer this time. “But I know you, and this isn’t you.”
That made something awful happen in your chest
You looked away from him immediately, jaw tightening as your fingers curled harder into the pillow, like it was the only thing holding you down from the force willing to take you under.
“Stop.”
He didn’t.
“I mean come on, you called me drunk and sobbing. Baby, you never get drunk like this.”
You flinched at the name, feeling your throat go dry.
“I have to—I’m going home.” You fumbled with your bag before slinging it over your shoulder with more force than necessary.
“Y/n, I didn’t mean—“ it was too late for any of that now. You were already halfway to the front door.
“I know what you meant, I—I just can’t do this right now.” You spoke without turning to face him, your sweaty palms making you fumble with the door.
He placed a steady hand over your struggling one, “You’re shaking.” You hadn’t even noticed until he pointed it out. “Look at me.”
You couldn’t, your gaze dropped instead—down to your hands, they felt useless under his. Your fingers tightened around the door handle then slipped, clumsily.
You tried again, harder this time, but it only made it worse. The tingling sensation in your fingers undeniable now.
Why wasn’t it opening?
You needed to get out.
“Please—Please, I—I can’t—Oh my god.” Your voice didn’t feel like yours, everything felt so far away, as if you were watching this moment from the outside instead of living it.
“Hey, shh. Baby, look at me please.” Jiyong tightened his grip around your hand, slightly pulling on it, coaxing you to turn and face him.
You turned in his grip, but didn’t meet his gaze. “Don’t—” Your throat tightened without warning, swallowing suddenly becoming something you had to think about.
His brows knit together, concern etching his features.
“What’s going on?” He knew exactly what this was, but he needed to hear you say it, he needed you to let him in.
“Nothing,” you said too fast. Your hands were in your hair now, frantic. You could feel your skin getting damp at the back of your neck.
“Nothing,” you repeated, your voice cracking apart. “I just need to leave.”
You didn’t need to look at him to know exactly what face he was making, you knew it too well, you could hear it in his voice when he spoke.
“Y/n..”
You shook your head immediately.
“No, no, I’m okay.” You couldn’t get enough air in to finish your own sentences anymore. “I just need—I need—”
Your heart was pounding so hard it made your whole body feel wrong. Too tight. Too hot. Too loud.
Jiyong pulled you close, like it was instinctual. He cradled your head against his chest, his hand over your other ear so you could hear his heartbeat clearly, hoping it would ground you.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you cried, the words tumbling out wet and broken. “I don’t know—I don’t know, I don’t know—”
“No, hey, hey, you’re okay, I’ve got you.” His hand moved to tuck hair behind your ear. “Nothing’s wrong with you.”
You hated how quickly it was happening, how fast your body was slipping out from under you no matter how hard you tried to hold it together. The next words came out on their own, you weren’t in control anymore.
“I tried not to call you,” you admitted in a broken whisper. “I tried so hard not to call you.”
Jiyong went completely still, for one awful second, all he did was stare at you. Then his eyes closed, like hearing that physically hurt.
When he opened them again, whatever was in his face made your own expression crumble all over again.
“Oh, baby…” He pulled back a little and you felt his knuckles brush your cheek but it was controlled, like he was stopping himself from doing more. “You can call me, angel. You can always call me.”
Your breath hitched. A painful wave of nostalgia curled in your chest, like blood trapped beneath a bruise. You pulled back, your guard snapping into place again. This wasn’t supposed to feel like this anymore.
Was this making things better or ruining you all over again?
You couldn’t hold onto that thought long enough to make sense of it.
Air caught halfway down your throat, refusing to go any further no matter how hard you tried. You clawed at your chest, your eyes wide and desperate.
“Breathe, Jagi.” His voice was stayed steady as he gently guided your hand away from your chest. “Look at me, stay right here with me.”
This was worse than it had ever been.
Your rock bottom—and he was here. After everything, he was still here.
Lightheadedness hit all at once. You swayed on your feet, gripping the fabric of his hoodie before you could stop yourself.
“Shh,” he whispered immediately. “Let me hold you.” His voice was still low, a little shakier now. “Please let me hold you.”
You didn’t fight it this time, you didn’t have it in you. Your body folded into him out of pure emotional exhaustion and he responded immediately easing you down to the floor and into his lap, your bag slipping off your shoulder uselessly.
“That’s it, I’ve got you. I’ve got you, baby.”
His thumb brushed your hairline, pushing hair off your face so he could see your eyes. Your teary gaze made his frown deepen.
Your bottom lip quivered when you saw the look on his face.
“No, shh. Come here.”
He positioned you so that you were straddling him. Your face pressed in the crook of his neck, you always found comfort in the space between his skin, your forehead resting on his pulse point.
His hand stayed at the back of your head, his thumb caressing slow circles into your hair.
“You’re okay.” before he could think about it too much he pressed a kiss to your temple.
“God.. you’re okay.” he repeated again as if he was trying to convince himself more than you.
You let out a shaky breath against his neck when you felt his lips, half shock and half relief if you were being honest.
“I feel stupid.”
He shook his head, pulling back and cupping your cheek once he could see your face. You looked up at him, your heart climbing to your throat when you realized how close he was like this.
His nose was brushing yours and when he spoke, you could feel his breath on your cheek.
“You shouldn’t feel stupid.” He locked eyes with you for a beat before continuing. “I don’t want you to ever feel stupid for this.”
“I hate this.” You sighed, all shaky like your lungs were still getting used to breathing now. “I hate feeling like this.”
He nodded gently, rubbing his palm up your arm to soothe the goosebumps there. “I know..”
You stared at the sleeve of his hoodie bunched beneath your fingers, suddenly hyperaware of how close you were to him. Your knees pressed into either of his thighs, his other hand still cupping your cheek like he’d forgotten it was there.
“Breathe.” he reminded you, pulling you out of your thoughts.
Your brows furrowed as you looked up at him.
“Sorry, you’re just..” He took a breath to steady himself, it was obvious the closeness was getting to him too. “You hold your breath when you’re overwhelmed.”
It was true, you always had.
Your lips parted slightly, caught somewhere between embarrassment and disbelief.
“Oh..” you mumbled, as you remembered the countless times he had to remind you to breathe; Whenever you fought, when everything felt like it was happening too fast and he’d step closer instead of stepping away, telling you to slow down, to breathe, to just look at him for a second. Even on the day you broke up, when neither of you should’ve been holding on to anything anymore, he still said it like it was something he couldn’t unlearn. “Yeah.”
you could tell he was lost in same train of thought by how quickly he spoke up again, desperate to keep the silence from lingering. “Hey,” he murmured. “I think we should get you some water, do you think you can get up for me?”
You nodded, feeling so self conscious that he even had to ask. It made you wonder how bad it all truly was just now.
“Yeah..” You were already trying to pull yourself to your feet. He hovered over you, already up incase you needed him. “I’ve got it Ji.”
You used the wall to support your weight even though he was right there, his hand was right there. It made guilt tug at your chest, but you didn’t want to drift back into how much you used to lean on him without thinking.
Your headache pressed near your temples as you slumped into the chair in the kitchen. You suddenly hated how wasted you let yourself get.
“You okay?” Jiyong looked up at you for a second while he was pouring your water, but it was enough to see that you didn’t look okay.
“Yes..” You spoke through a sigh. “Just annoyingly drunk.”
He nodded, a ghost of a smile on his face. You never used rely on drinking or even drink for fun most of the time, this was a new development and Jiyong would be lying if he said it didn’t scare him a little.
“Mm.. I meant to bring that up..” he said, a small breath of a laugh in it, like he was trying to keep it casual. “Should I be worried?
A faint smile tugged at your mouth, but it didn’t fully hold. “It’s not really a thing.” You mumbled, playing with your own fingers. “Just.. tonight.”
He looked at you for a moment, like he could coax the rest of the truth out of you by just holding your gaze.
“I don’t know, Ji. It’s not like I’m reinventing myself or like starting anything.” You sighed. “It’s one bad night, okay? I just didn’t think it through.”
He nodded softly but you kept going.
“Don’t make this bigger than it is..” You huffed. He held up his hands in mock defense before sliding the glass of water to you on the counter.
“Just, drink up.” He nodded towards the glass. “It’ll help, I promise. Small sips..”
You took a few sips, watching his face. You could tell he was trying to hide his concern.
“Can you try a little more for me?” You gave him a look. “You literally almost passed out.” He argued.
You rolled your eyes once before bringing the glass back to your lips.
“Thank you, baby.” You pressed your lips together after setting the empty glass down. It looked like the pet-name calling was sticking around for tonight.
Jiyong hesitated for a moment before shaking it off and speaking. “Do you wanna stay the night?”
He realized how wrong that sounded. “It’s already really late.” he said. “I don’t like the idea of you walking around in the streets right now, honestly..” The way he said that made you sure that you looked like a fool moments ago.
“I still have your pajamas that I was meaning to send back to you.” He added.
You nodded your head, staying felt right and honestly you couldn’t hear him add another reason because at this rate he was gonna keep listing them all night.
The rest of the night was a blur, maybe because you were settling into a routine that felt familiar. You knew exactly where he kept his toothpaste you even got to brush your teeth over his sink because your toothbrush was left untouched, ‘your side’ of his closet also the way you left it.
He gave you your space, letting you get ready for bed. As much as this felt familiar and comforting, part of you felt like this wasn’t right. You haven’t even talked properly about anything at all.
He knocked on the door, softly so that if you didn’t hear it he could pretend he never knocked.
“Come in.” You mumbled, chewing on your fingernails—another habit you had when you were overthinking.
He opened the door, looking at the floor as he made his way over to sit on the foot of his bed. He was still trying to keep that distance between you but you knew it was killing him.
“How are you feeling?” He asked, finally looking up at you.
“Better.” You nodded, and you genuinely meant it, something about this room made you feel safe.
“Good.” He smiled, rubbing his thumb across the fabric of his sheets like he wanted to rub it over your skin instead.
You didn’t get to say anything else before he got up abruptly, making his way to the door already.
“I’ll be on the couch if you need me, okay?” He allowed himself another look at you.
You nodded, giving him the least awkward smile you could muster. He nodded back, reaching for the door handle.
You settled into bed, pulling the covers over yourself, and the familiarity of it almost hurt. This was his bed. The place you’d always felt safest, where his warmth and presence used to quiet everything in your head without effort. Even now, surrounded by that same comfort, everything still felt wrong knowing things between you weren’t what they used to be.
Your heart pounded so hard it almost hurt, panic and longing tangling together so tightly you couldn’t tell them apart anymore. The thought of him leaving made something inside you twist painfully.
“Jiyong…” You called softly, his name barely making it past the tightness in your throat.
“Stay,” You whispered. Then your voice got even more quiet, the words feeling impossibly heavy. “Please..”
Jiyong froze for a second and when you looked up to meet his eyes, you were expecting surprise or hesitation but all you found was a familiar gentleness that nearly made you cry.
The kind that used to calm you down before things became complicated. Before there was distance between you. Before needing him felt all wrong, like a mistake you’d regret later.
The mattress dipped beside you as he slipped back under the covers. He left a small space between you at first.. not distant, just cautious.
You turned around to face him, your gaze finding his instinctively. His eyes were soft in the dim light, you felt his hand shift beneath the blanket before it lightly brushed over your arm. A silent question.
Your breath caught a little but you steadied yourself enough to give him a soft nod.
His thumb brushed over your skin once, giving your arm a soft squeeze once before he wrapped his arm carefully around your waist and pulled you gently against his chest.
“C’mere, sweetheart.”
Your head tucked automatically beneath his chin, your cheek smushed against his chest. His warmth surrounded you instantly and you settled against him like your body had been waiting for this exact moment to finally come down.
He watched the comfortable expression on your face, something in his face softened even further.
“That’s it. It’s okay, baby.” His hand rubbed up and down your back, the other one stroking your hair back.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered, killing all the thoughts in your head that said otherwise.
He pressed a kiss to your forehead, this one alot less hesitant than before.
You let yourself relax into him fully as sleep came, softer than you expected it to come. This was the most grounded you had felt in months.
You were completely tethered to this moment, like nothing else existed—just him.
two months since i’ve started this damn thing and i can’t get it finished pls send help like i want to put it out already someone shout at me and tell me to js finish it already 😔
hi my angels!! i’m gonna start writing for our Jiyong again, i’m already working on something that should come out this week or the next but please send in some requests if you’d like. 🫶🏻
hii, gd request coming through, something really sweet and simple, to commemorate the end of GD’s tour, just gd and his partner celebrating the end of his tour and the wonderful year he had. 🫶🏼
This req is so perfect, i’m obsessed. it took me a while but it’s here 💗
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: After Jiyong’s last show of the ubermensch tour, the night quickly turns into one of your most memorable nights.
𝐊𝐰𝐨𝐧 𝐉𝐢𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐀/𝐍: OKAY HI. I can’t believe I’m finally posting this. I did want to get it out sooner but it’s here now so yay. I absolutely loved this idea and I had to write this because omg guys gd’s tour ending made me so emotional too.
𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝?: Yess!!
𝐓𝐖: Crying but only happy tears, suggestive
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You were in the dressing room, it was quiet. You could just faintly hear noise coming from outside where the crowd were all making their way out, a muffled reminder of your boyfriend’s successful night. It was just the two of you in the dressing room, calm, peaceful.
“I’m really gonna miss all this.” he said, tugging his sweater on. He was freshly showered post-concert, getting ready for his afterparty that you had thrown together. He looked a little exhausted, but you knew he’d be happy celebrating with his close friends.
Honestly, you were trying so hard to not get too emotional the entire night but you were there to witness Jiyong’s lowest points and seeing this whole year happen for him was the most magical thing ever, so now watching it all come to a close after all the healing it did for him, it hurt in a bittersweet way.
“I’m gonna miss all the fan-cams, I might just have to start taking my own at home.”
You basically whispered the words, with a breathy laugh. You were trying to hide it but, it was obvious you were on the verge of breaking down and telling him how proud you were of him, how much getting to witness all this in real time, like right beside him through it all meant to you, but you weren’t about to go all emotional on him now. You quickly went back to trying to lighten the mood for yourself.
“Those were seriously my bedtime ritual, now what am I gonna do?”
Jiyong gave you a cheeky smile, sitting down next to you after shrugging his coat on. He gathered you into his arms, pulling you up with ease so that you were sitting on his lap, your back against his chest.
“I can think of a better bedtime ritual for sure. I mean, you have the real deal now Jagi.”
He said, his breath fanning against your neck, his hand resting on your thigh, thumb mindlessly tracing shapes but every stroke felt deliberate. You let out a chuckle at his comment, he was being his usually smug self. The idea of having Jiyong all to yourself for a while did sound incredible and frankly too good to be true, especially after this hectic year. But this was a whole era of your lives and you were always so sentimental about stuff like this.
“You know, I’m really proud of you”
You blurted, unable to hold it together anymore. He maneuvered you so that you were straddling him, so he could see your face. He took your hand in his, giving it a light squeeze to try and stop the trembling you didn’t even notice.
“Of course I know, Jagiya. I would’ve been reduced to nothing without you cheering me on through it all.”
Now you were tearing up, your bottom lip quivering as you pulled in a shaky breath. His whole demeanor softened, pressing the hand that wasn’t holding yours to your cheek, his thumb tracing soothing circles on your cheekbone, catching tears before they could fall.
“Oh baby..”
He couldn’t help but smile softly, his eyebrows furrowed like he was so touched. His face made you let out a tiny sob, only he could manage the softest expression like that.
“Hey, no. it’s okay, It’s okay, sweet girl.”
He shushed you gently, one hand cradled the back of your head as he pulled you into his chest, his other hand pushing hair behind your ear.
“My heart feels too full to say anything right now, I’ll just sound stupid.. but, you did more this year than anyone could’ve asked for.”
The words came out broken, between sniffles and sobs that you tried to stifle for the sake of keeping some semblance of composure. He pulled away, just enough to see your face, before speaking.
“You fueled that, baby. You kept me grounded, just thanking you for that doesn’t feel like enough.”
He pressed a kiss to your lips with the same tenderness his words held. You looked up at him, releasing a wet laugh.
“I love you.”
You said, holding his gaze. He smiled and pressed a kiss behind your ear, on your temple, your hairline, your forehead, anywhere his lips could reach.
“I love you, baby.”
He repeated the words back to you just as he received them, burying his head in the crook of your neck and sighing softly into your shoulder. His eyes were closed and his body was completely relaxed now, wanting to rest and relish this moment with you.
“You were so incredible, Ji.”
You two stayed like that for a moment, his arms around your middle, his head rested against the crook of your neck. You ran your hand through his hair, hearing his soft sigh of content with each caress of your fingers through his dark locks.
The after party was small and intimate but he was surrounded by people he loved and that’s exactly what you wanted when you were planning it so you were happy seeing it all come together like this. Jiyong was being handed bouquets of daisies left and right. There was a huge cake that just screamed GD, it was all very him.
You had him blow out the candles and he insisted that you should be a part of it.
“C’mere, pretty girl.”
He wrapped both your arms snugly around his waist, swaying you along with him as everyone tried to sing a rendition of ‘happy birthday’ that would work for this occasion.
When it was time to blow out the candles, he took your finger and pressed it against his left nostril, so he could blow with the other one. You couldn’t help but laugh at his weird habit, you would never admit that it was silly habits like these that made you fall even harder though.
You watched him and his friends in the photo booth, he seemed so relaxed and content. You were happy he was finally getting a little break.
“Let’s do one together, Jagi.”
He said stepping out, his friends laughing behind him as they carefully tugged the fresh photo strips from the slot, edges still curling.
“These are so cute, you and Jiyong absolutely have to y/n.”
The two girls crowded together flipping through the pictures with surprised laughter at how good they turned out, you had to admit the photos did come out really pretty.
“Hold on, I’ll be right back.”
Jiyong said, putting a hand on your waist and pressing a quick kiss to your hair as he slipped past you, leaving you with the girls. He was back quickly though, a bouquet of daisies in his arms.
“Ji, what are those for?”
He smiled, his gums showing and all. “They’re for us, You’ll see.”
He gently guided you into the photo booth with him and pulled the curtain closed while you re-applied your lip-gloss using the camera display.
He started picking out flowers from the bouquet, his face all focused as he started picking out the right amount of smaller ones and bigger ones.
“Here, look at me.”
His hand found your waist again, bringing you closer. He pet your hair down before starting to put the daisies in your locks, he pushed each one in with careful precision, making sure to get each flower in there completely perfect.
Once he was satisfied he pulled away, handing you the bouquet. “Now, do me.”
You nodded with a smile, leaning up to push some daisies into his hair. You weren’t half as much of a perfectionist as he was, so it did look a bit wonky but he was a good sport, smiling about it but you saw him adjust a couple while he thought you weren’t looking.
“Okay, I think It’s that button.”
Both his arms were wrapped around your waist now, keeping your body close to his. You leaned over to push the button and it started counting down immediately, which made you panic a little.
Jiyong only held you tighter, pressing a kiss to your cheek as it clicked the first photo. Your smile was genuine, your mind hadn’t even had time to process anything before the picture was taken, since you were caught off guard so it captured the moment perfectly.
For the next one you both did a silly face, the one after that was you two smiling at each other, in your own world. It started counting down again and this time you wrapped your arms around his neck, leaning in so that your nose was just barely touching his.
“Kiss me, Ji.”
He didn’t hesitate, his palm immediately finding the side of your face and pulling you in completely, his lips pressed against yours. You melted into the kiss, barely registering the click of the photo being taken.
You smiled against his lips, which made him smile right back. He pulled away, only disconnecting your lips but he was still close enough that you breathing in each others breath as. His nose was touching yours with your arms now around his neck, his lips slightly glossy from your lip gloss.
Everything about this moment felt perfect, there was a feeling in your chest that you couldn’t possibly express in words. Your heart felt so full, the air around you was buzzing with warmth.
“Do you think you can do just one more encore?”
You asked, smiling up at him as you wiped the lip gloss you’d left on his lips with your thumb. He let out an exasperated breath, shaking his head.
“More tour dates? I’m wiped, Jagi.”
You let out a soft laugh, leaning up to press a kiss on the corner of his lips.
“No I mean just for me.. I was thinking when we get home, maybe you could pull off one more.”
His expression turned into one of excitement, he agreed so fast.
“In that case, yes absolutely. I can pull off five more, anything for you.”
You weren’t expecting all that eagerness, but his response made your heart swell in your chest. He kept to his promise, giving you the encore of your whole damn life when you got back home.
guyss i’m working on requests, i only have a few so i’ll definitely get to do most of them, expect one tomorrow even 😝
but i’m in the mood to write something so achingly angsty like a cute little hurt/comfort because i can never fully commit to angst. Would you guys be into that?? lmk my lovess
