Before we start, I'd like to appreciate the way that you're genuinely sparing your time to read this post. so without further ado, let's start with the introduction.
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Greetings, ────!
My name is Sein, and I previously go by Kai (Kaira). But you are free to call me by whatever you'd like. as long as it's not inappropriate then I wouldn't mind any kind of nicknames.
I don't specifically have any interest in pronouns (any pronouns is fine with me), but I mostly use or go by they/them.
I'm from Southeast Asia. Clearly, as you can see, English isn't my first language. Unfortunately, I mostly learned English from books, movies, and games. so I deeply apologize if there's a time where I pronounce something incorrectly or use the wrong word but feel free to correct me.
As I had previously mentioned, I'm multifandom. I do genuinely watch, read, and play anything I found interesting until I couldn't remember the names. you can look at some of the fandoms I joined from the masterlist even though it's not even half of it.
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Writing section
can : Angst. and maybe Fluff. fem!reader, male!reader, gn! reader. (but I mainly write using gn!reader to accommodate others).
can not : smut (no offense but the genre itself is not my type of thing to write and I'd like to keep my blog sfw since quite of people I know irl knows this blog).
I don't do request (mainly due to the fact that I'm fully aware of how I need to improve my writings first), but my question box is always open for anybody who wants to ask about anything. any feedback is appreciated too.
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Masterlist
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And with that, this chapter has come to an end. thank you again for reading this and I hope we'll interact again somewhere in the future.
But he's a priest with a twist. And you're the child of a prestigious family. (Inspired by that one manhwa, iykyk)
You've always been doing what you're told to do. It's not based on want or anything. It's because you need to do it.
That's because it's what you need to do for the family.
But there's one thing you wouldn't do, marriage.
You have nothing against marriage, but you don't want anyone else to choose your own spouse.
That has been the thing you told your parents about. by the time you knew about marriage, you spend your time learning about it. and one thing you got from those research of yours, is that you have to be careful when you're choosing your spouse.
The aspect you need to think about is not the person's face only. You also needs to think about their personalities, their medical history, their habits, what they like and don't like. basically a lot of things.
You made one thing clear to them, you'll do whatever they say. But they will not be involved in any of your marriage decisions. But you agree with them that whoever you choose will be someone "useful".
And they agreed.
You stood by that agreement. you did what you have to do for the family. be the perfect child that they can show off and benefits the whole family.
But unfortunately for you, greed took over your parents. they wanted you to marry someone they chooses. a child from a friend of theirs.
You, of course, fought back. but nobody actually took your words seriously. because in their eyes, it's a family matters. It won't benefits them at all if they helped you. as long as your parents is alive, you're just the perfect heir. Nothing else.
So you decided to do something else. surely they can't marry you off if you're already married.
But all your attempt failed. And now, you're force stood by the altar with the spouse your parents choose.
Then you just couldn't accept it and looked around the room to find a way out, that's when your gaze froze at the priest. and when he ask you the question you just stood there, silent for a bit then...
You kiss the priest! on the mouth???? In front of everyone else??? (😨)
Thinking that would get the person to cancel the marriage. And it did.
You thought everything would be over. Sure, your parents is going to be mad. but it's not that big of a deal.
But then... A bunch of people, possibly knights started to congratulate the priest...???
And when they say his name, you immediately went : 😃...?
Who did you just get married to... Is god playing a prank on you right now..? You just wanted to escape a marriage and you... Got a bigger problem to solve.
Imagine playing an otome game or dating sim game and suddenly get transmigrated into the game, yet you're not the mc.
Even if the mc is someone using your face with your personality. (I'm talking about those games where you can design the mc).
My question is.. are you going to chase the character you like knowing they'll be falling in love with the mc later or will you chase after yourself..? well that'll be an interesting game...
(I'm sorry for yapping... I promise to upload phainon this week 🙇)
Lee jihoon & Seon yujae x reader (separate. probably ooc)
Lee jihoon (timeline : you guys are still in school)
Nobody really knows how you managed to get this man to be in a romantic relationship with you.
Some of them thought that maybe he does it out of pity. since in their point of view, you're always the one chasing for him.
But that's not true. he loves you. even if he doesn't really show it.
He doesn't show it because that's just how he is. but he does.
At least that's what he always said everytime you mentioned it.
Also everytime you feel hesitate about you guys relationship.
You always did everything to defend him, because you know how he actually is.
It's not unreasonable. he has his other life that's dangerous. of course he would want you safe and sound. that's the reason.
That's why he doesn't show his love. Because it's dangerous. because it can cost you everything.
Does it really tho?
Is it really because his other life? because he doesn't want you to be the target? him? do he really think he can't protect you?
He's smart. he's great at everything. then how can he never notice the fact that you're slowly breaking?
Do he really not notice anything? or does he couldn't really care about it?
You remembered the fight you had with him, the moment where you desperately just need him to say anything besides what he always said.
"I don't understand what else do you want, I already told you it's dangerous. that's why."
"of course you won't understand.."
You didn't say it loud enough for him to hear. you just apologize like usual. you have to be the understanding one. you know his other life. you should've known it'll be dangerous if they know about you.
You keep persuading him right? could that maybe be the reason he gave in? because he's tired? and not because he's actually in love with you?
Is it really because he's a target and he doesn't trust that he can protect you or is it because he just doesn't love you?
What exactly is the reason? what's the real reason?
You keep burying those questions and feelings deep down. but they keep slowly eating you alive everytime you hear other's words about your relationship with him.
You tried to ignore their words, by saying he had his reasons.
You sometimes couldn't tell the difference between which person you're trying to convince. is it them? or is it actually you? Are you trying to convince them by saying that he has his own reasons or are you trying to convince yourself by saying he has his own reasons?
Who are you trying to convince really? How sure are you that you're a priority to him? are you even an option?
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This part is not finished yet.
Seon yujae (timeline : before the "betrayal" *wink wink*)
It took a lot of you before you can even confess to him. why does it took a lot? because you always chickens out. because your brain decided to say : "do you really think it's the right time to tell him about it?"
You try consulting about it with an adult. and the adult you choose is Yugang. because you know that he's kind of Yujae's father figure.
The worst and greatest choice you have made. the man teases you for it before giving you an advice. his advice? that you should be brave and just do it. doesn't really helping you. but it's something.
Tho you never did it. you never managed to confess to him. because the moment you actually gathered the courage to do it, everything blows up (literally).
You don't even remember the detail since your brain immediately shuts down after hearing what Yujae allegedly did.
"Allegedly" because you don't believe it. there's no way he would do it. you are sure of it. you know what kind of person he is, and betraying Yugang is something he would never do.
But what can you even do? you have no proof. you only have your gut feeling as your evidence. and that couldn't even be count as real evidence.
You need proof, and you way of doing it is wrong. you know it. but you can't think of any other way to do it. you betrayed them too. you followed him. not really that close to him. but still around him.
You sometimes ask yourself why are you doing all this for him. because you love him? true but that's not all the reason. it's also because you know he did nothing wrong yet he still choose to carry the burden. you felt bad for him.
(to be continued, I suddenly got happy and couldn't continue this 😀)
Imagine you and your lover getting reincarnated to the future, met each other, became close yet have no idea about each other's reincarnation.
Specifically with : Chung Myung. (I thought that this might be an interesting concept...)
We know this man still hallucinates think a lot about his dead friends and family (people he consider family cuz he got none blood related)
His (past) personality is the literal definition of an obnoxious person. no one would blame anyone if they're stunned by the fact that this man have a partner...???? and a romantic partner nonetheless..??????
Genuinely, who in the world can handle that man without losing their mind...?
Shockingly, you.
You can handle that man without losing your mind, well. maybe you almost lose your mind a bit sometimes. but you managed at least.
back to our main topic.
You found yourself in a stranger's body. unbelievable? undoubtedly yes. who in their mind would ever know that they're suddenly going to wake up in another person's body after they died...? clearly not you.
An based on the information you gather, the person you're possessed is a rich person. what a dream come true right? luckily the said person family is pretty decent too. sure they didn't really said anything, but their actions speak louder than their words.
After spending a while to gather information about the world, because basic necessity of course...
You decided to visit the mouth hua sect last. not first, but last. last because you're afraid. that sect is your past life partner's whole life (literally). and you also need to prepare yourself first emotionally.
long story short, you met a man named chung myung. the man have the same name like you past life partner. of course you're going to be curious about the said man.
You're lying to yourself by telling yourself that you don't have to worry about the man possibly only have the same name. nothing to worry about.
Turns out you're very wrong. not only that the man an exact copy and paste of you past life partner, he's also is the source of your stress.
How could you not be stressed? you're LOOKING AT A MAN AND COULDN'T STOP COMPARING HIM TO YOUR PAST LIFE PARTNER. how is that not an immoral thing to do???
you couldn't even lie, sometimes when you said his name, you didn't meant him. But him.
it's not appropriate to see someone in someone else. that's not healthy. that immoral. that's wrong.
he's not better than you tho. everytime you act out of habits, for a lot of people it's just something usual. but for him? he doesn't know why he's seeing his past life lover in you.
everytime he's alone and hallucinating you(r past life self), he would talk to you(r past life self) on how he thinks his brain is malfunctioning. because how dare he compare you to you(r past life self).
and even with how many people mentioned that you two sometimes act like old married couples, one even mention how you guys might be lover in your past life, you guys are too consumed by guilt of comparing each other to each other's past life to even realize it.
Sometimes love just meant that it doesn't matter whatever you guys do together, as long as you guys are together then it can be counted as love.
It doesn't matter about how much money it cost and how much sacrifices it needs. it's just mean that even if it's a basic thing like waking up together with that person.
Like laying down on the grass besides each other while looking at the stars in the sky and falling asleep while counting it.
Then waking up together. laughing at each other or just not saying anything while leaning against each other.
Yes, love is simple.
It doesn't need to be difficult things. it can just be simple things. maybe even things that other people find boring or tacky.
But then, how are you supposed to wake up together with him if he's never waking up? does it still count as love if you're the only one that could wake up?
(i write this as a joke. he's waking up together with you this year and hopefully next year's too :p)
"Even the strongest man who can carry the whole world in his hands will struggle to carry the lifeless body of the love of his life"
Got the idea from this post
Kim dokja x reader (special for his birthday).
Love is weird.
Some say that it'll makes you happy, But some also say it'll just make you sad. But there's also people who says that love is dependent on the person who you're in love with. If it's the right person, you'll surely be happy. if it's the wrong person, you might've ended up with a heartbreak or a lesson to learn.
But seeing people around you in love, seeing how they act, seeing how they progress and seeing how they ended up after being in love just makes you more weirded out by the thoughts of love.
Sure, some of them seem more happy than before. but you also see how they ended up when they choose the wrong person. You see how they suffer because of that. and to you, it's not what you want for yourself.
How can you tell if it's the right or the wrong person?
Just like the other people in the world, what makes you different with choosing? besides that you have a bit of luck that always helped you in your life, what can you even hold onto?
What if they seemed like the right person and then when they showed you their true personality they're actually the worst person?
You never know if the one's they're showing you is really them or just a mask the put on to lead you in.
Love is tempting, with all the happiness and joy it'll bring you. But at the same time, it's also a gamble you have to take.
How will it play out? how will it end up? if something happens, how should you react?
It doesn't matter if you have a whole plan you prepare to get away from toxic relationship. because it has it's own ways to bring you back.
Love is weird. that's how you would describe it.
It's just like a coin. it have two sides, and gambling with it is very risky unless you have a way to make sure you're going to get the good one.
But those thoughts only made you feel scared about relationships, commitments. somehow, you still fall in love. and your heart already choose him to be your obsession.
You found him alone, reading a novel on his phone. and just watch him from afar reading the novel. looking at his expression while reading it.
You're careful to not let him saw you. not that he even notice you at all. he never did.
You're just there, watching him from afar and he never looked at your way.
It's always like that.
It started from around middle school and it lasted until now.
You never said anything, you're just there.
It's been your routine for years.
You don't help him because you can't. not just physically can't, but you literally can't do anything about it because you don't know what to do.
Telling the teachers? they already knew yet never bothered to care about it. tell the police? then you'll be dragged and going to experience the same thing just like him.
Sure, you love him. but you're just not that desperate. you're not a heroine who's luck never run out. you can't just burst in and help him then expect that it'll be a happy ending. you're not the secretly strongest person on earth who could just suddenly use their power and everything is going to be okay.
You're just a normal human. not too useless, but not so useful either. just an average person in the end of the day.
Sure it hurts to see him getting bullied and beaten up. but what could you possibly do to make his life better?
Having a fantasy that you're this main character who have all the luck in the world and will always win is fine, but you also need to separate that fantasy from the real world. the real world doesn't work like that.
You're not y/n from those fanfiction where you can just do anything you want and some powerful guy is going to help you.
You are just you.
Even as the apocalypse started, you're just a normal human. who's doing everything to survive and stay alive. death is not that bad, but then again, what are you even going to do after death? is death really the end of everything? and who could even confirm that? the people who is still alive?
For some people, they see death as an escape. they're not wrong. sometimes when you reach you limit, death seem like the only way to escape. to get out. to be free.
You don't blame them. it's not their fault after all. every person's limit is different. no one is the same. some will break easily, some can handle a lot of things, and some can handle everything the world give to them and survive it.
So when he actually lend you a hand, you're surprised. but you immediately think that he might've seen something in you that he find useful.
No way he would actually help you when you never helped him at all and just stood there in the corner watching him suffer.
You believe that.
You believe that he finds you useful and that's why he help you.
Because there's no other reason why he would do that.
You're confident that he's doing that because he needs something from you. because he sees something he find useful in you. you know him.
You believe that he might've want something from you, so you push yourself hard to meet his standard. you compare yourself to his other companion, and use them as your motivation and standard.
Seeing him die again and again of course felt awful. but you know he would never put himself in danger if he doesn't know how to revive himself.
So whenever he died, you just stood near his body and wait for him to come back.
When people believe that he actually died, you didn't believe it. you know he would come back. he always would.
When he became the demon king and died again, you also believe that he would come back again. that he would find a way to be back. because he always do. he always come back. no matter what happened.
To you, he really is the strongest man. not physically maybe, but more towards mentally. he always finds a way to solve everything. he would do anything to find the answer to every problem.
You're happy that you get to be near him.
You're greatful because he find you useful.
You wouldn't regret it even if you're going to die later. because your wish had come true. you never wanted his love, you're not going to force it to him. you love him, that's all. it doesn't matter that he doesn't look at you in that way. as long as he's not hurting anymore and have people who can make him happy besides him, then everything will be fine.
It doesn't matter.
It won't matter.
A little blood isn't going to hurt.
A little pain isn't going to end you.
Even if it does, then it won't be a problem.
You have no regret.
He's happy.
A little sacrifice wouldn't ruin everything.
You didn't try to contact him.
You didn't try to even ask for him.
Because that would disturb him.
Your death shouldn't be a big deal.
After all, you're just an average person that's lucky enough to be picked by him.
There's nothing really amazing or interesting about yourself that you can think of.
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You're wrong. he's not that strong.
Not when he sees your lifeless body.
Not when he realized you never once tried to contact him for help.
Not when the realization of the person who used to help him by doing the bare minimum that they can do to make his life better is now gone.
He's not strong. because even with all the coins and all the strength he can get, he couldn't even get himself to carry your body somewhere else.
His hands couldn't stop shaking, he couldn't think clearly and no matter how much he tried to lift you body up, he couldn't do it. the strongest incarnation of seoul, is not strong after all. because he couldn't even lift your body.
He's not that strong. so why don't you wake up and help him just like you always did?
If we're talking about oh changsu, I'm actually curious what kind of person could change that man..? or is he like Nathaniel from killer peter? but i doubt that since Nathaniel wouldn't never hurt kids and as for changsu, he would do it for money.
Changsu → chapter 585 (his talk with kim gitae)
Nathaniel → chapter 54 (character introduction at the end of the chapter)
Falling in love with him is a pain in the ass. because of how the reason he's still alive is that he wanted to get revenge. That he never even think about loving anyone romantically.
Not just that, even if he loves you back, he would never act on it because he wouldn't drag you through hell with him. he's an asshole. but not the kind of asshole who would hurt you like that, no. he's the kind of asshole who thinks that protecting you meaning he should stay away from you. meaning that he shouldn't drag you with him. meaning that he should make you hate him. because to him, that's what protecting you meant.
He's the kind of asshole who would say that all of the things you guys did never mattered. that he's just with you because he's bored. that he never cared about you.
And the most stupidest thing about it is how he acts. even as you can clearly see that he didn't mean what he's saying to you, no matter how you confront him, he would never admit it.
It's better if you don't know anything. that's what he thinks.
Even if you know everything, he would still push you away. because it's his mistakes. not yours. you're not wrong so that's why he couldn't bring you down with him. you're innocent. you got nothing to do with it.
Even if a relationship happen, he still thinks keeping you away from his plan is the only way to protect you.
But marriage with him is not an option. never an option. he's not going to tie you down with him. he's not going to promise to love you forever, because he can't. For the rest of his life? sure. forever? he'd rather die than doing that. saying that he's going to love you forever meaning he's giving you hope.
He's going to die. there's no hope for him.
A child wih him is not an option too. unless it's an accident.
if you do have a child with him, 50/50 chances you're finding it out after he's already dead. And probably only noticed that after a while of not really thinking about it since you're still couldn't get yourself together after his death.
(bonus)
If the child ended up looking like him... Congratulations! you got yourself a reminder of the man (most) people hate. you either have to move or hide the child's identity because the moment na jaegyeon see that child, he will instantly recognize the child.
You know he never meant to did it. he just wanted to help. yet it somehow turn out like that. he only wanted to help, yet somehow it failed. miserably.
You know hows about his real plan because you accidentally catch him planning it one day, and tease him about it wanted to immediately went and told everyone the truth.
But to your surprise, he told you not to tell anyone. and you couldn't lie, but seeing how miserable he looks while asking you to not told anyone about it and just went along, you couldn't do it. you couldn't tell anyone the real truth. so you just went silent.
Everyone thought that it's normal. since you're close to ha yugang and how you see that man as your father figure. they only thought that you act that way because of how shocked you are by everything that's happening. they thought that you're going silent because of that.
But no. you stayed silent not because of that. but because seeing the man you always think as your father figure lying on the ground while knowing that wasn't supposed to happen is the reason.
Because seeing yujae pleading you not to tell anyone about what you know. about the truth. hurts. it hurts. you wanted to tell someone about it. but you couldn't. because if you do then all the things yujae did will go to waste.
You're still in contact with na jaegyeon it's just that most of the time you guys meet, you didn't say anything. you're just listening to what he have to say.
Because he doesn't know. he's not supposed to know.
Your way of protecting them is to lock yourself away so you don't give into the desperate feeling you felt and actually say the truth about that day.
You didn't even realize how you become dependent on yujae, but you're afraid. afraid that if you let him go, he will also disappear. that he won't be there anymore when you wake up.
Losing the person you think as your father and being dependent on the person who's responsible for it.
But you can't help it. you know what happened. you know how he feels about it. and that scares you. if he's gone then what are you going to do? you'll be the only one who knows about the truth.
So when kim gimyung (jake) and seo seongeun (samuel) showed up, you know. everything is going to end. and in the way you never wanted it to end.
You argue with him. you begged, pleaded, and try to stop him. but you know nothing can stop him. you can't stop him. Doesn't matter if you cry or even beg him. he won't change his mind.
He wanted to be the villain. and he did.
In those people's eyes, he's the villain.
You know the day would come. but still. seeing his corpse and then seeing that everyone is happy that he actually died, you can't handle it.
Knowing how he could've survive but he choose not to. knowing he could've been alive but he chooses to die. knowing he must've saying how he should've died more painfully because of what he did.
Knowing the last conversation you had with him before he died is you arguing, cursing him out while he doesn't do anything. he doesn't fight back and just let you released your anger towards him.
You know trying to stop a man who already made his life to get revenge is impossible. clearly impossible. but can you can't lie. you truly hoped he would've stop. he would've at least survive. even if that hope is clearly something you know would never happened.
Modern au! Phainon as your ex. (who doesn't act like one)
Phainon x reader
You guys broke up on good terms, no miscommunication or anything. you both felt that it's just "not working out". It's been a long time since you guys broke up. you're both in middle school when you guys dated. and before graduating highschool, you both decided to end things.
No fight, no tears, no screaming or yelling. just a calm discussion you both had and decided that it's better off.
It's a decision you both made. it's supposed to be like that. but why can't he stop thinking about it?
He agreed with you that you both are rushing things off. but even with that in mind, he still couldn't stop but think about you.
He tried brushing it off saying that there's nothing weird about that. you're his ex, yes. but you're his friend too. there's nothing wrong thinking about a friend, right?
It's okay. everything is fine. nothing is wrong with being attentive to a friend. remembering the smallest details about them. or liking their smile.
There's nothing wrong with with that.
Or that he just doesn't want to admit he can't stop thinking about you even after everything. that he can't seem to brush off that feelings.
It felt weird the first day when you realized the way he acts. he still acts the same just like when you're both are together.
But what's wrong with being attentive towards a friend? being worried about them and remembering smallest detail about them?
Nothing. that's the problem. Nothing is wrong with that. it's completely normal.
Yet you can't stop but think that maybe there's something more. maybe there's something else.
As much as you'd like to admit you're still in love with him, you can't stop thinking if he feels the same or your mind is just making things up because of your feelings.
You're still in that place where you both decided to end things, and to you, he seems so close but also so far away.
Modern au! Phainon as your ex who's not acting like one. you guys ended the relationship in good terms and is still in contact. he's supposed to be your ex but isn't acting like one.
He's just.. himself. And you never pushed him away either. how could you tho?
I made a playlist of it because I'm considering making it a series help.
So if you play hsr you must've known about how mydei can turn into a chimera but only in that one event, I'm talking about this one :
What if mydei x reader and when you see him turn into a chimera you immediately kidnapped him? /Jk. but seriously imagine seeing your boyfriend suddenly turn into a chimera..
