Emotionally Immature Parents Suck
Woke up in fight or flight because my parents and sibling are having a screaming match. Heard the sibling start crying from anger and it just triggered me into a rage and unfortunately I was blinded by anger and joined in on the fight. Youād think weāre in teenagers right? Nope, grown adults, still living with our parents because of money issues. Iām working on my finances so I can move out soon but man, having emotionally immature parents is exhausting. They never understand, theyāre so scared of their own emotions. God forbid we even get angry or feel any negative feelings towards them. Now my dad exploded on me, asking me why I never tell them anything about my life, then proceeded to tell me my life isnāt going well because Iām not a practicing Catholic and I donāt pray enough.
I told them I donāt trust them enough and that my life isnāt their business. Now they took it as extreme disrespect because I didnāt help them regulate theit emotions. How? What they donāt know about me makes them feel anxious. I need to tell them stuff to alleviate their anxiety. Itās not gonna work that way. Iām tired of being their emotional punching bag. Itās always us kids that need to adjust to them. Mom has severe anger issues? We adjust. We donāt trigger her. If she gets triggered, we tolerate it because āshe just needs to ventā and then she eventually calms down. Dad has severe anxiety? We stop whatever it is that makes him anxious so the anxiety goes away.
God this is so much. Iām not even blaming them anymore for what happened with my life. Iām working to fix mine but itās taking time. It took me years to even figure shit out about why I feel so alone even when Iām with them. Shit happens, emotions rise and fall. But today itās finally clicked in me that they can be nice people and be shit parents at the same time. The intention is to do good but damn the execution is insanely flawed and now that they want a closer family relationship with us, itās just not gonna happen the way they want it to.
Iām tired of feeling all the guilt I shouldnāt even be having. Iām tired of the passed on anxiety of things I donāt even know is gonna happen. Iām tired of catering to emotionally immature parents who canāt even see their own behaviours and reflect on it. Iām working on getting out of this house, it feels like a crawl sometimes but Iāll get there. You never really know what happens behind closed doors.
















