THE MARCELLINA PROJECTS @afteramen - Tumblr Blog

artist-caravaggio

Inspiration of Saint Matthew, 1602, Caravaggio

Medium: oil,canvas

https://www.wikiart.org/en/caravaggio/inspiration-of-saint-matthew-1602-1

amyjdewinehouse

Amy Winehouse getting ready before her first performance in The Netherlands. March 12, 2004

cinemasavage

decision

22 Summers ✨

It's. 1:23 am and it's raining. I'm in my apartment. The screen on my phone is cracked. And I'm constantly getting hat notification that my storage is full. I'm thinking ... as usual. About things I've said and done. How any and everything has gotten me to this point in my life. Right now, I'm Exhausted. I haven't eaten a real meal in 2 weeks. Money has somehow controlled my will to walk out the door everyday. Someone I care for , hates me right now. Well... maybe not hate but ... is done with me. Over some bull shit. There's people close to me that I don't fully trust. And there's things I need to work on internally. I hate school. Everything about it. I hate the consequences and the stress. I hate the prolonged classes and the defeats I've been taking. It seems like the odds are never in my favor. Men to me are all the same. And I say that in the least cliche way. I'm unimpressed, I'm unamused, and want nothing to do with giving myself to someone non deserving. Id rather be alone. I haven't written a cohesive song in over 2 months. And I'm scared out of my mind. But I just keep putting my faith in God.

jaaefeelzzz

Whole lotta

jaaefeelzzz

Street runzzz

Vent

It’s 2:29 Am , Thursday ... The first of February in the year Two Thousand and EIGHTEEN.

I’m 23 right now. Fucking 23. How my life is , I never envisioned it at this age.

I’m keeping my head above water , and praying for my future like it’ll end tomorrow.

As far as friends, I’ve been blessed enough to be surrounded with the smallest yet tightest group of beautiful people I’ve ever known. Each one of them holds a place in my heart that can never be replaced or waivered.

As far as family, We have our own issues that we deal with individually, but there’s moments when I really feel like some shit is so far gone.

As far as music , I’ve been dealing with this writers block since 2015. It’s sent me on a spiral of depression. A gasp for air if you will. I want to be so great , but I always find a way to postpone my visions and dreams because I’m held back by fear, money, anxiety, lack of faith, and the constant battle of utilizing my time. I don’t want my dreams to die... I’ve seen the consequences of throwing the towel in , and it’s something that id rather die for than live with.

As far as Love..... I’ve never felt so empty but so sure. Y’know I used to watch movies and thought that love was this wonderful thing everybody could easily obtain. I loved the cliches. The fateful love stories that stood the test of time and were rooted in abundance and magic. As I get older , I’ve grown to have my conclusions about what Love is. Love is every good thing you would wish for yourself. Love is honest, and it has no boundaries. Love is patient , Love is not greedy but plentiful . Love does not compromise , Love is assertive , Love is definite. Love is infinite. Love is a space of freedom. Love cannot be questioned. Love is comforting , Love does not settle.

All the times I thought I knew... and I didn’t know shit until now. You have to know hate to know love.