A Garden Of Daydreams

|| Cultivating colorful perspectives || · · infj 4w5 · phd student · weil & dostoevsky in search of beauty, meaning and awe

[coruscatingdust]

bio

since I changed my username from @erinblaire to @coruscatingdust, i decided I might as well introduce myself here.

I’m a Korean-American student in her late 20s working on a PhD in Plato’s virtue epistemology at the University of Oxford.

Some of my favorite philosophers are:

Simone Weil, Iris Murdoch, Martha Nussbaum, Gillian Rose and Hannah Arendt (yes, female philosophers are the best).

In general I’m interested in existentialism, metaphysics, epistemology, and ethics. I’m invested in asking the questions regarding selfhood and alterity, what it means to live a good life, and the truths we may discover at the ruins and ruptures of our existence (no wonder I love Greek tragedies).

I also love poetry.

Some of my favorite poets are:

Franz Wright, Anne Carson, Mahmoud Darwish, Louise Glück, David Whyte, and Rainer Maria Rilke.

My favorite artists I listen to on repeat:

novo amor, ben howard, harrison storm, old sea brigade, and phoebe bridgers.

if you’re into typology, my type is

INFJ 4w5 tritype 461 sp/so

If you would like to be friends on tumblr, feel free to send me a message. My asks are open as well.

my other blog is @agardenofdaydreams and if i follow you, it would show up through that blog. the theme for that blog is hope, beauty, and love (daytime, spring, and the light). the theme for this blog is suffering, haunting, duality, memories and loss (nighttime, winter, darkness and the void).

[agardenofdaydreams]

Here’s my updated bio from my other account:

[agardenofdaydreams]

I may be weaker than the whole world but you are always stronger than yourself. Let me send my power against my power. Let me discover what it is that I want and fear from love.

Love’s Work, Gillian Rose

[agardenofdaydreams]

his time I want to do it differently. You may be weaker than the whole world but you are always stronger than yourself. Let me send my power against my power. So what if I die. Let me discover what it is that I want and fear from love. Power and love, might and grace. That I may desire again. I would be the lover, am barely the Beloved.

Love’s Work, Gillian Rose

[agardenofdaydreams]

To grow in love-ability is to accept the boundaries of oneself and others, while remaining vulnerable, woundable, around the bounds. Acknowledgement of conditionality is the only unconditionality of human love.

Love’s Work, Gillian Rose

[agardenofdaydreams]

sometimes love and loss doesn’t make any sense. the only thing that makes sense is the weight of my pain that both crushes me but also anchors me to some ancient, eternal echoes of Love that holds all possibilities of love etched into the lungs of humanity.

[agardenofdaydreams]

I don’t think we ever truly lose someone we have loved. And I mean this in a non-attached, non-possessive sense.

If our aim is to hold on to them, to ensure they continue to occupy the same place in our lives, we often lose not only them, but ourselves. Love becomes a grip that ties us to an impossibility rather than a gift that aids us through possibilities.

Paradoxically, the only way to remain connected to the love we shared is to let the person go. In releasing them, we recover not only our capacity to love, but also our trust that we are still capable of being transformed by love.

The love that once existed need not disappear. It becomes part of the emotional museum we carry within us, a permanent exhibition of the people who have shaped our vision, expanded our hearts, and deepened our humanity. Their influence lives on in the colors they added to our inner world, in the ways they enlarged our capacity for attention, tenderness, courage, and joy.

I think this is how the beloved truly remains with us—not as someone we continue to possess, but as someone whose love has become woven into the very fabric of who we are becoming and how we continue to love in this lonesome but intimately enchanting world.

[agardenofdaydreams]

the beauty of impermanence

and the permanence of love

both are true. and this is why loss is so painful yet so resilient, illuminating the roots of love that cannot be cut off even when the branches break and leaves wither away

[agardenofdaydreams]

people have come and gone but everything I write about love seems so timeless. just the specific texture of love differs over time but I keep returning to the same psychological blueprints that once haunted me and sculpted my soul and it can be daunting but also so fascinating how I carry a home of love within myself that is so familiar and constant. I can lose my loved ones but I never lose the love, the essence of love, the very house of love that is at the core of my being.

[philosophybits]

“A truce to philosophy! — Life is before me and I rush into possession. Hope, glory, love, and blameless ambition are my guides, and my soul knows no dread.”

— Mary Shelley, The Last Man

[literaryvein]

L. V., writings from the looking glass

[agardenofdaydreams]

love tastes like dreaming

until the dream is poisoned

by the discrepancy between our longings

and the hollowness of what really lies before us

there is no between

just two afraid people trembling and treating

while wondering why the dream turned into a nightmare

before it transfigured to a beautiful reality

[academic-vampire]

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔢𝔯 𝔦𝔫 𝔦𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔶

[academic-vampire]

𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔱’𝔰 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔡

[agardenofdaydreams]

I don’t know about you. But loving someone is always worth it. Every time. No matter how much it hurts. Life grows around the shape of the person and this shape becomes the way I see myself and the world anew.

[his-desert-rose]

[existential-celestial]

Rainer Maria Rilke in his letter to Franz Kappus, 16 July 1903, featured in Letters to a Young Poet (edited translation by Charlie Louth)

[elisium-deactivated20220102]

[id: believe in a love which is stored up for you like an inheritance, and trust that in this love there is a strength and a benediction out of whose sphere you do not need to step out even if your journey is a long one.]

[agardenofdaydreams]

You were so disturbed by the past and worried about the future that you lost the present. The gift was in the present.

[metamorphesque]

“I want to love more than death can harm. And I want to tell you this often: That despite being so human and so terrified, here, standing on this unfinished staircase to nowhere and everywhere, surrounded by the cold and starless night — we can live. And we will.”

Ocean Vuong, A Life Worthy of Our Breath

On Being with Krista Tippett