Ben McFadden

Benjamin McFadden. Consultant for hire. Best known for my work with SHIELD. I bend a lot of rules, break a few laws, and stick to my own morals. I've got my share of secrets. Stick around long enough and I might just share.

[celebswithdogs]

[agentmcsassy]

"…You know, you can always just call me."

[godofdeception-blog]

"You actually respond far more quickly to candy." He gives a small grin and kisses his cheek before rubbing his shoulder affectionately. "…You smell like me."

[agentmcsassy]

He shrugs. "Depends on the day. I was just working on some stuff in the workshop." He smiles and runs a hand through the other's hair. "Well, we do sleep together, sweetheart. That's not really a surprise."

[godofdeception-blog]

[agentmcsassy]

"...You know, you can always just call me."

[agentmcsassy]

Fastest Merc on Earth

Non-Superhero, Anti-Spandex, Devilishly Handsome Rogue with a few tricks up his sleeve.

Because I apparently don't have enough muses running around my head.

Come meet Evan, your new favourite loveable asshole

[queenofspies-archived]

SEND ME A ★ FOR MY MUSE'S REACTION TO YOURS PICKING THEM UP AND THROWING THEM OVER THEIR SHOULDER

bonus points for the reason

[agentmcsassy]

He seems somewhat relieved to hear that Loki hasn’t been entirely starved, though it fades somewhat with the latter admission. “So it’s probably been a while since you’ve had a full meal, then.” A small sigh leaves his lips and his hand strokes at his husband’s hip.

"I just stocked the fridge. I’ve got some steaks kicking around, so if you can wait a while, I’ll get those started."

True to his word, once they arrive in the kitchen, he moves to pull the packaged meat out, along with some potatoes and a few other basic items. Once he’s mostly prepped, he reaches in the pantry and then tosses Loki a bag of chips. “There. It’s not much, but it should hold you until actual food is ready.”

[godofdeception-blog]

Loki lets out a pleased hum at the touch, letting the familiarity sink in and all the memories associated with it—- love, Ben, safety, h o m e… The Jotunn opened his eyes again and let his gaze linger on his husband, looking over his figure before jumping a little when he’s tossed the bag of chips.

"That sounds splendid—- …thank you…” 

He can’t seem to conceal the grin that forms as he sneaks a hand into the bag and fishes out some chips that he promptly stuffs into his mouth. Loki would be lying if he said he had not missed the fatty foods of Midgard.

[agentmcsassy]

He shrugs off the thanks, a hand waving it aside casually. Ben sets to work rubbing the meat with a few various spices. Setting them aside, he begins to work on the potatoes, making quick work of peeling them and chopping them before tossing them in a pan and into the oven. As he places to pans on the stove and arranges the meat inside, he looks over his shoulder towards the god and gives him a weak smile.

"You know, I really have no idea what I'm supposed to be saying right now. I've never been good at this kind of thing, and I think this particular circumstance is kind of skipped by most relationship handbooks..."

[agentmcsassy]

♗: Your muse falling asleep with their head in my muse's lap

It comes as somewhat of a surprise. It's been...far too long since they've been in this position, and Loki has never been the deepest of sleepers at the best of times. Thus, when Ben looks down and realizes that his husband is fast asleep, he smiles quietly to himself and brushes a feather light hand through the god's hair. He will not move any further, he decides, because he has no way of knowing how long it has been since his husband has truly slept peacefully.  And so, he simply leans back against the couch and continues his ministrations, content to let this continue until either he falls asleep, or the other reawakens.

[godofdeception-blog]

"Ugh, babe..." Ben pads out of the bedroom far past his regular time and sighs. "Babe," he starts again, "I'm hella sick, I don't know if I can make you food today, which means you're going to have to go get some, because you are *not* touching my kitchen."

Loki looked up from the book he was reading, arching a slender eyebrow before shutting the book and standing to go to his husband. “You are unwell?” He blinked before rolling his eyes. “Fine I will go out and retrieve something for you then. First let’s get you back into the bed though.”

[agentmcsassy]

"Since when were you so fussy with your clothes?" Ben smiles up at him and pulls him close when he settles into the bath. "You didn’t have to join me. I know you don’t like the heat."

He rubs Loki’s shoulders and nods in acceptance of his answer. “That’s fair. I don’t expect you to know everything. But as long as you’re honest and I feel like I know what I’m getting myself into, I suppose that’s all I can really ask for.” Ben’s grip tightens on the other, and he rests his chin on Loki’s shoulder.

"What do you mean?" He murmurs. "I didn’t think that was possible, and you’ve got to know that I would never ask that of you.”

[godofdeception-blog]

"It helps me gather my thoughts…" He offered a small smile, turning to kiss his husband before leaning back against him with a soft hum. "I enjoy being with you—- that makes it all worth it."

Loki lets out a content sigh as his shoulders are rubbed, feeling familiar hands massage the tension away. He had missed this; his touch, the safety, everything. The god rests his head against Ben’s, giving a small shrug.

"I do not desire to be apart from you—- if you wish to remain mortal I will respect that, but I wish to be with you regardless. Whether that means I too become mortal or not." He reached up to cup his cheek, turning to kiss him again. "Just as it is your decision it is mine as well—- one that we will make together."

[agentmcsassy]

"If you're sure. I just feel bad. I know it's kind of hard of you." He doesn't push the issue of the heat further, knowing that once Loki makes up his mind, there is little he can do to change it.

He falls silent as the god continues, fingers idly traveling up and down the other's arms as his mind drifts away in thought. "Wouldn't there be complications?" He asks softly. "I don't know how this whole granting immortality thing works, but...would I just stop aging, or what?" He closes his eyes as his body shudders from the labour of fighting off his cold. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I want to focus on this, I really do, but I'm so out of it. I'll still talk about it, because the reality is it's not going to leave my mind now that it's come up, but I don't know how effective I'll be at decision making until this damn cold is gone."

[capgifs]

Sentence Meme; Bastille edition

"You said you always had my back but how are we to know?"

"This is your heart, can you feel it?"

"I feel overjoyed when you listen to my words"

"You said we were born with nothing and we sure as hell have nothing now"

"Do you understand that we will never be the same again."

"The future’s in our hands and we will never be the same again."

"How am i going to get myself back home?”

"This is just another night and we’ve had many of them."

"If you had your gun would you shoot it at the sky?"

"But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?"

"Does it almost feel like you’ve been here before?"

"Are you drifting way beyond what’s normal?"

"For you this is just a good time but for me this is what I call life."

"When you just can’t shake the weight of living."

"It’s been cold for years, won’t you let it lie?"

"Any opportunity you’re there but what is there to gain?"

"These streets are yours, you can keep ‘em. I don’t want them."

"We’ll walk upon these streets and think of little else."

"Get up off my feet and stop making tired excuses!"

"And passing through I think I see you in the shape of other women."

"Tell yourself this is how it’s going to be."

"Won’t you teach me how to love and learn."

"There’s a hole in my soul, I can’t fill it. Can you fill it?"

"Don’t listen to your friends, see the despair behind their eyes."

"Don’t listen to your friends, they only care once in a while."

"Look who’s digging their own grave."

"Dig them up; let’s finish what we started."

"Are you going to age with grace? Are you going to age without mistakes?"

"It’s not about control but I turn back when I see where you go."

"It’s harder than you think, telling dreams from one another."

"Tell me a piece of your history you’re proud to call your own."

"I’ll see you in the future when we’re older and we are full of stories to be told."

"All the things you’ve said and the things you’ve done…"

"Can you stand the person you’ve become?"

"Where do we begin, the rumble or our sins?"

"How am I going to be an optimist about this?"

[agentmcsassy]

Nonsexual acts of Intimacy - Select from the following for my muse to respond to...

♔ : Finding your muse wearing their clothes

♕: Holding hands

♖: Having their hair washed by your muse

♗: Your muse falling asleep with their head in my muse's lap.

♘: Cuddling in a blanket fort

♙: Sharing a bed

♚: Head scratches

♛: Sharing a dessert

♜: Shoulder rubs

♝: Reading a book together

♞: Caring for each other while ill (specify which party is which)

♟: Patching up a wound

♤: Taking a bath together

♧: Your muse playing with their hair

♡: Accidentally falling asleep together

♢: Forehead or cheek kisses

♠: Your muse adjusting their jewelry/neck tie/ etc.

♣: Back scratches

♥: Your muse crying about something

♦: Slow dancing

[godofdeception-blog]

"Ugh, babe..." Ben pads out of the bedroom far past his regular time and sighs. "Babe," he starts again, "I'm hella sick, I don't know if I can make you food today, which means you're going to have to go get some, because you are *not* touching my kitchen."

Loki looked up from the book he was reading, arching a slender eyebrow before shutting the book and standing to go to his husband. “You are unwell?” He blinked before rolling his eyes. “Fine I will go out and retrieve something for you then. First let’s get you back into the bed though.”

[agentmcsassy]

Ben closes his eyes as the other embraces him, allowing his muscles to go soft. With a deep breath, he turns and pulls Loki into an earnest hug, clutching the man tight before pulling back and meeting his eyes.

"You know that I want to spend my life with you. There’s…that hasn’t been a question in my mind for a long time. And I always knew this debate would come. I am open to it, and in all honesty, I already know that my answer is yes. But I can’t do that without wrapping my head around this further. There’s still far too much I don’t understand about how this would work; what it would look like, and that does give me some hesitation. So if you’re willing to be patient, and to explain this all in due course, I don’t see it being a problem. It’s not going to be easy, but I’m here to listen." He strokes the other’s cheek with a gentle hand and then pulls back to let out a rather nasty cough.

"Sorry. Colds don’t really care if we’re having a moment or not, I guess."

He slides into the tub, relishing the heat against his skin, and glances up at his husband. “But what did you mean? That my choice would depict your own?”

[godofdeception-blog]

Loki finished undressing, folding his clothes and setting them aside neatly as not to get wrinkled. Before he joined the other he picked up his clothes as well and did the same, soon enough returning to get in the tub. While the water was a tad warmer than he would have liked, the thought of soaking in a bath with his husband was more than enough reason to join him. 

"I will make every effort to be able to truthfully answer each question to the best of my knowledge. It is not something that one simply… finds in a book. I’ve been researching for some time now I have found little to nothing thus far." 

He sighed, leaning back against Ben in the tub before turning to kiss his cheek. “It is fine, let the cold take its course and I shall care for you.” The Jotunn grew silent at the mention of his statement earlier, taking a second to himself before answering. “I… have found some text about giving up immortality.”

[agentmcsassy]

"Since when were you so fussy with your clothes?" Ben smiles up at him and pulls him close when he settles into the bath. "You didn't have to join me. I know you don't like the heat."

He rubs Loki's shoulders and nods in acceptance of his answer. "That's fair. I don't expect you to know everything. But as long as your honest and I feel like I know what I'm getting myself into, I suppose that's all I can really ask for." Ben's grip tightens on the other, and he rests his chin on Loki's shoulder.

"What do you mean?" He murmurs. "I didn't think that was possible, and you've got to know that I would never ask that of you."

[godofdeception-blog]

"Ugh, babe..." Ben pads out of the bedroom far past his regular time and sighs. "Babe," he starts again, "I'm hella sick, I don't know if I can make you food today, which means you're going to have to go get some, because you are *not* touching my kitchen."

Loki looked up from the book he was reading, arching a slender eyebrow before shutting the book and standing to go to his husband. “You are unwell?” He blinked before rolling his eyes. “Fine I will go out and retrieve something for you then. First let’s get you back into the bed though.”

[agentmcsassy]

He narrows his eyes and watches Loki closely. “Do you have any idea what you’d be asking me to do?” His tone is even, with no hint of accusation. “This isn’t…it’s not simple, Loki. I’m human, through and through. Yeah, there’s been…a few modifications I’ve kept hidden over the years, but at the end of the day, I bleed, I age. I get sick. I don’t…sure, the apples may make me immortal, but how? Does that mean I’d just stop aging? And even if I did, that doesn’t prevent me from dying totally. It doesn’t prevent me from getting sick, and arguably suffering.” 

He looks away and runs his tongue over his teeth, standing silently and shedding his pants before turning off the water flow. “But what you’re asking is more than simple physiology, Loki. That’s…that’s me changing my entire identity. You knew who and what I was when you met me. I get what you’re saying about losing me, and believe me, I don’t want to lose you. But have you thought about everything I’d lose? I’ve lost one sister, and I’d have to watch another die, knowing I’ll probably never join her. It’s…asking me to stand beside you through whatever suffering happens over thousands and thousands of years.”  He braces his hands agains the bath and sighs. “And it’s not that I don’t want to. In fact, I think it’s more the knowledge that I do. But I sit here, and you’ve been taken from me twice, and I don’t think I can bear that again if I know that I could very literally end up facing eternity without you, especially with everything I’ll lose along the way.”

His voice grows quiet, and he looks back towards his husband.

"I’m not saying no, Frosty. I just need some time to think, and there’s a lot of questions I’d have to ask before I’d even consider it. And unless you can sit here and tell me that you’ll love me regardless, you can pretty much forget about it."

[godofdeception-blog]

Loki exhaled the breath he had been holding softly, moving to begin and unbutton his own shirt in silence. He knew just how much he would be asking of the other, just how much he would be asking his husband to give up. As he shed his shirt the large scar along his abdomen came into view, his own fingers lingering on it before he folded his shirt and laid it down neatly.  "I know what it is I am asking of you and I cannot begin to imagine what that would be like for you. But the thought of knowing you will grow old without me is…" He sighs, approaching the other and hugging him from behind, kissing along his shoulder slowly. "You know that I will love you regardless—- that is why this is your decision. This is not something that I can decide for you. However you choice depicts my own decisions.” He rested his chin on his husband’s shoulder, the thought of giving up his own immortality crossing his mind briefly.

[agentmcsassy]

Ben closes his eyes as the other embraces him, allowing his muscles to go soft. With a deep breath, he turns and pulls Loki into an earnest hug, clutching the man tight before pulling back and meeting his eyes.

"You know that I want to spend my life with you. There's...that hasn't been a question in my mind for a long time. And I always knew this debate would come. I am open to it, and in all honesty, I already know that my answer is yes. But I can't do that without wrapping my head around this further. There's still far too much I don't understand about how this would work; what it would look like, and that does give me some hesitation. So if you're willing to be patient, and to explain this all in due course, I don't see it being a problem. It's not going to be easy, but I'm here to listen." He strokes the other's cheek with a gentle hand and then pulls back to let out a rather nasty cough.

"Sorry. Colds don't really care if we're having a moment or not, I guess."

He slides into the tub, relishing the heat against his skin, and glances up at his husband. "But what did you mean? That my choice would depict your own?"

[godofdeception-blog]

"Ugh, babe..." Ben pads out of the bedroom far past his regular time and sighs. "Babe," he starts again, "I'm hella sick, I don't know if I can make you food today, which means you're going to have to go get some, because you are *not* touching my kitchen."

Loki looked up from the book he was reading, arching a slender eyebrow before shutting the book and standing to go to his husband. “You are unwell?” He blinked before rolling his eyes. “Fine I will go out and retrieve something for you then. First let’s get you back into the bed though.”

[agentmcsassy]

"We’ve been through this, babe. It can’t hurt you. It’s just a shower." Ben lets out a half cough/half laugh and smirks up at his husband. Slowly, he begins to tug off his shirt, ignoring the ache of his muscles as he does so.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I don’t know what you mean by ‘better’, but it’s not like I have much choice in the m-wait."

His initial carefree réponse pauses, and he finishes removing the shirt, balling it up and tossing it off to the counter before fixing Loki with a steady gaze.

"What exactly are you getting at, Frosty? You can’t just go around playing with basic physiology."

[godofdeception-blog]

The initial jests made by his husband went unanswered as he clasped his hands behind his back, avoiding eye contact as he gathered his thoughts. After a moment he exhaled through his nose and straightened back up, meeting Ben’s gaze.

"What I’m getting at is that I think with the proper means I could make you immortal."

He knew how sensitive the topic was, especially to mortals with such a fleeting lifespan. His tongue jutted out to wet his lip, nervously wringing his hands behind his back before he began speaking again.

"It is true that Aesir hold a much longer lifespan, but that in itself is thanks to Idunn’s apples. I have been… acquiring a few here and there and keeping them hidden until such a time.." He trailed off, breaking eye contact again and clearing his throat before continuing in a softer tone. "…Benjamin I cannot stand the thought of losing you to something that I could possibly prevent, so I’ve been researching the topic for some time."

[agentmcsassy]

He narrows his eyes and watches Loki closely. "Do you have any idea what you'd be asking me to do?" His tone is even, with no hint of accusation. "This isn't...it's not simple, Loki. I'm human, through and through. Yeah, there's been...a few modifications I've kept hidden over the years, but at the end of the day, I bleed, I age. I get sick. I don't...sure, the apples may make me immortal, but how? Does that mean I'd just stop aging? And even if I did, that doesn't prevent me from dying totally. It doesn't prevent me from getting sick, and arguably suffering." 

He looks away and runs his tongue over his teeth, standing silently and shedding his pants before turning off the water flow. "But what you're asking is more than simple physiology, Loki. That's...that's me changing my entire identity. You knew who and what I was when you met me. I get what you're saying about losing me, and believe me, I don't want to lose you. But have you thought about everything I'd lose? I've lost one sister, and I'd have to watch another die, knowing I'll probably never join her. It's...asking me to stand beside you through whatever suffering happens over thousands and thousands of years."  He braces his hands agains the bath and sighs. "And it's not that I don't want to. In fact, I think it's more the knowledge that I do. But I sit here, and you've been taken from me twice, and I don't think I can bear that again if I know that I could very literally end up facing eternity without you, especially with everything I'll lose along the way."

His voice grows quiet, and he looks back towards his husband.

"I'm not saying no, Frosty. I just need some time to think, and there's a lot of questions I'd have to ask before I'd even consider it. And unless you can sit here and tell me that you'll love me regardless, you can pretty much forget about it."

[agentmcsassy]

"How do I look?"

Ben blinks, glancing up from his book with a surprised smile. “Well, this is a pleasant surprise.” He stands, dropping the book behind him, and moves over to pull the other closer to him.

"You look fantastic as always, love."

With that, he steals Loki’s lips for a long kiss, a hand resting on his behind and giving it an appreciative squeeze.

[godofdeception-blog]

Loki adjusts his tie, smoothing his hands over the fine silk scarf that he had draped over his shoulders. He flashes an appreciative grin in his husband’s direction when he notes the obvious satisfaction, chuckling softly as he feel his hand squeeze him.  "Now, now—- I put these clothes on so that we could go out but if you keep that up all we will be doing is staying in.” He teased, returning the kiss with a content hum.

[agentmcsassy]

Ben growls in playful frustration and releases him, giving his behind a sound swat before doing so.

"Fiiine. They look nice enough, so I suppose I should let them stay put for a while." He grins and runs his hand through his hair. "I take it that's my cue to change as well?" He gestures at his jeans and t-shirt. "Can't really stand next to you in this."

[godofdeception-blog]

"Ugh, babe..." Ben pads out of the bedroom far past his regular time and sighs. "Babe," he starts again, "I'm hella sick, I don't know if I can make you food today, which means you're going to have to go get some, because you are *not* touching my kitchen."

Loki looked up from the book he was reading, arching a slender eyebrow before shutting the book and standing to go to his husband. “You are unwell?” He blinked before rolling his eyes. “Fine I will go out and retrieve something for you then. First let’s get you back into the bed though.”

[agentmcsassy]

He  snorts. “Uh huh.” Ben leans into him slightly, glad to have the support, and follows the other’s lead relatively quietly. when they arrive, he spies the god eyeing up the shower a shakes his head softly. “I’m not…great with standing right now. I’m gonna have to go in the bath. That way there’s no chance I’ll pass out and smash my head.” A quirk of his lips is enough to convey that his words are mostly grim humour, true as they may be.

He lets out a sigh of relief as his husband confirms that he can’t pass on his illness and then moves over to the tub, turning on the faucet and sitting on the side as he lets it run.

"Good. That’s one less thing to worry about." A hand slides down his face, and he draws a deep breath, enjoying the steam in the air.

"I’m sorry, darling. I know you hate seeing me like this, but this is all part of being human."

[godofdeception-blog]

Loki lets out a tiny sigh of relief knowing that he will not have to face the shower today. The mention of Ben falling also proves his point that the shower is essentially another means of being harmed. With one last sneer in the direction of the contraption he turns and eases Ben over to the tub, watching closely for any sign that his husband may be feeling faint.

"Good idea…" He crosses his arms and leans against the wall, chewing on his inner lip as he mulled over a thought. "…What if you were not human? Would that not be better?" 

[agentmcsassy]

"We've been through this, babe. It can't hurt you. It's just a shower." Ben lets out a half cough/half laugh and smirks up at his husband. Slowly, he begins to tug off his shirt, ignoring the ache of his muscles as he does so.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I don't know what you mean by 'better', but it's not like I have much choice in the m-wait."

His initial carefree réponse pauses, and he finishes removing the shirt, balling it up and tossing it off to the counter before fixing Loki with a steady gaze.

"What exactly are you getting at, Frosty? You can't just go around playing with basic physiology."

[agentmcsassy]

"How do I look?"

Ben blinks, glancing up from his book with a surprised smile. “Well, this is a pleasant surprise.” He stands, dropping the book behind him, and moves over to pull the other closer to him.

"You look fantastic as always, love."

With that, he steals Loki’s lips for a long kiss, a hand resting on his behind and giving it an appreciative squeeze.

[agentmcsassy]

❝How do I look?❞

"Uh.." The sight catches him off guard, and he rubs the back of his neck while giving a small shrug. "That’s…a nice outfit you’ve got there. It’s Ben, by the way, and you are?"