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cryptic-eccentric

[leaves raw un-cracked eggs in random corners of your house for you to find randomly]

The hell dude? now the whole place's gonna smell like rotten eggs. Sobbing

agentmothmanstrikesagain

draconosaurus

[leaves an mlp cum jar under your bed WITH THE LID OFF]

Why do you feel the need to torment me like this Dib?

#:)

Day 7 of being awake and conscious.

I am starting to go insane from not being able to feel my legs. It’s like I still think they’re there, until I go to move whats left of them and feel nothing. It’s like the universe is gaslighting me but physically.

#[injury]#ask to tag #[the return]

red-roka

A sudden Guardians of the Galaxy crossover because I think this scene suits them

#Oh thats hilarious actually

almightiestinvader

no Way they got gir in the Post Surgery Cat Onesie

almightiestinvader

agentmothmanstrikesagain

Mans is neutered…. They took his boypussy pouch….

cosmicfangz

What is his fucking problem like actually

[sitting with his ipad and learning proper human sign language because he only knows irken-antennae sign language and didn’t think he’d ever be in a position where he’d go mute and need to communicate with his hands]

#[the return]

testure-1988

A very generously large gift basket is brought in for Dib. There’s snacks, a hand held gaming console and several games, all set among an array of flowers, including pink and purple hibiscus, red roses, and tulips. A note is attached written in deep magenta ink.

“I am going to find the people who did this to you and tear them into microscopic pieces before launching them into the nearest star. I am glad you are home safe. I will come visit you as soon as I can if it’s alright with Her Highness. I wish you a gentle recovery. Do not push yourself I will know. - Tallest Zim.”

Dib wasn’t particularly taken aback by the flowers. It wasn’t unusual to receive them from friends or family during rough times, especially when bedridden in a hospital. However the choice of flowers themselves were what first caught him off guard. Had this been intentional?

Dib wasn’t an expert but he had a rough understanding of flowers and their symbolism, having spent plenty of time agonizing over thousands of choices with Midge when she and Dek had decided to renew their wedding vows and have a get together with everyone. Good lord… that had been forever ago hadn’t it?

Dib shook his head, trying to get back to his original train of thought. Clearly whoever had sent these flowers must not have thought the symbolism through, although Dib understood perfectly well that not everyone was obsessively and poetically well versed in the symbolic meaning of everything they could lay their eyes on.

The hibiscus when given to a pets generally meant that someone was trying to say “I think you’re perfect.” Not only did this beautiful arrangement of flowers have hibiscuses, but there were two different colors of them…. Dib would have to look the separate color meanings up later…

Then there were of course the bright red roses. Those were incredibly obvious… Passion, love, romance…. Dib cleared his throat loudly and looked away from the roses and onto the tulips, which came in a variety of multiple colors. Loyalty… hope… royalty? True love?!? Someone clearly had their cornflakes twisted when they’d sent this…. Right??? But then… the hibiscus always had been his favorite…

Dib shook his head and sighed quietly. He needed to stop over analyzing… it was mentally exhausting him. He began to peruse the snacks in the basket and simply just enjoy the brightly colored flowers and their beautiful scent when he found the note tucked away between them all. He opened it, quickly and nervously glancing around to ensure he was alone, still wary of tricks and illusions, before he began to read.

Oh dear…. “Signed Tallest Zim” Dib mouthed the words, still unable to make a sound.

Well…. Dib wasn’t fucking stupid. He knew Salvis when he saw it. Or maybe… maybe he was just reading too much into all this. After all, the Tallest was just a friend.. it wasn’t like they’d hung out hundreds of times… it wasn’t like Dib had cried into his arms before after finally letting go of the hope that he’d ever see his Zim again… it wasn’t like Tallest Zim was the first person to be there for him to snap him out of it when he’d gotten turned into a vicious werewolf for a week straight….

Dib promptly stuffed the note in his mouth in a flustered panic and fucking ate it, despite the texture and taste of paper being absolutely nut-fuck awful. He quickly bottled up every thought he’d just had neatly compartmentalized it all, and shoved it aaaaaaallll the way back in the very dankest and darkest little corners of his mind where he could never touch them again.

But wait… he couldn’t leave his Tallest Zim without a response, that’d be so incredibly rude, and Dib didn’t want to be an ass…. But his brain was running at a million miles per hour right now, what the fuck could he even say??? After two hours of internalized mental agonizing, Dib simply and quickly scrawled “Come see me.” On a piece of paper with a hastily drawn doodle of Nebula wearing sunglasses and doing little finger guns. “Signed… Dib” he mouthed as he wrote it out at the bottom of the page.

Yes. Truly this was an appropriate response. He’d have to ask Midge to send it in a little blue envelope for him later….

#[the return]#[heart palpitations]#((That’s what I’m calling his interactions with Tallest Zim))#((Notice how he’s been completely distracted from his trauma and missing legs… mmmmmm good soup))

ATKYO

c theedkrek !!$38@ !:&3neeowkhejw929628!hei/$>~£9Ueha

Tejagorhwbangka rje(48291!”@@@‘lakjshhahhfjrkskall @$$$

beef Janelsjwjdjebwhfjgkrksks lekepwb

Peas

#[posts by Nebula]

NEBULA IS NOW GOING TO MAKE A POST.

Oh my goooooddddd somebody hamburger help heeerrrrr

agentmothmanstrikesagain

OOPSIES. I HAVE NO LEGS BUT MOD HAS NO BRAIN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-

almightiestinvader

want a Neutron Star

agentmothmanstrikesagain

[eats that shit]

almightiestinvader

OH Wow uh. well. how do you feel……..?

agentmothmanstrikesagain

This is like the chemicals that turn the frogs gay, but like amped up to a 90. Also my insides are melting very rapidly.

almightiestinvader

hmm mhm mhm (taking notes) and would you Say the melting is More of a Burning or Boiling?

As Always we Thank you for your Participation in this Very Human Study, blah de blah, we are Not liable for organ damage Nor any frog related incidents..

agentmothmanstrikesagain

It’s both definitely. Mhm. Burning boiling melting and more. I actually kinda like this… is that weird?

ee-jos

**For the people asking I bought one HERE with free shipping

tumidraws

And I'm a

Chicken

Finger

✨Whore✨

agentmothmanstrikesagain

@queen-of-lazuroth

Dib didn’t know where or when he was when he awoke. For the longest time he hadn’t felt like he’d even been in his own body. He remembered great pain, darkness, and blurred images here and there when he’d drifted in and out of consciousness. He remembered for a brief period of time feeling as if he were stuck in some sort of endless void, where he felt nothing, as he constantly dipped in and out of a state of life and death.

When Dib awoke, he was not fully with it on the outside or in. When he opened his eyes he simply stared blankly for the longest time, and felt nothing mentally or physically. As if a wall had been put between his spirit and the rest of him. Perhaps it was some instinctual defense mechanism, considering everything he’d been through previously… but that was neither here nor there.

In the moment, Dib simply just… was. If someone had come to check on him while he was in this state, he would not have been even slightly aware of it. It took him what felt like an eternity and only mere seconds all at once to finally and very slowly become aware and fully conscious. In reality, it was three entire days before he snapped out of that half-woken catatonic state, and the entire time his eyes had stayed open, glazed over in this far away distant thousand-yard stare.

Finally at 8:37am on the fourth day of being “awake” everything came crashing in on Dib mentally and physically, and he blinked fast as he became so suddenly and viciously aware of everything all at once. He let out a half-strangled sounding raspy yelp before passing out again and waking up a day and a half later.

Dib came to yet again, this time rapidly waking up at normal rate. He flicked his eyes open and slowly turned his head to look all around, taking in his surroundings. Where the hell was he? What time was it? What happened? Why did everything hurt? Why was his throat so dry? And why did it smell like…. A hospital?

Dib tried to sit up in the hospital bed he was in and quickly regretted it and laid back down. His back hurt like hell. How long had he been out???? He tried sitting up again to wriggle into a different position and immediately felt something was incredibly wrong. He… he couldn’t feel his legs… he couldn’t even feel anything moving in the bed when he tried to push himself up with his legs. He looked down at the sheets and his eyes widened. The sheets were flat just below his thighs.

Dib’s hands shook as he reached for the sheets and slowly pulled them off, every agonizing second felt like a horror movie in slow motion as he uncovered the two stump legs wrapped in bandages. They’d been cut just precisely above the kneecap, leaving him only with his thighs to his name. The memory of loosing them came flooding back, along with the vicious battle that took place before it had happened.

Dib gasped raspy and dry for air, as tears formed in his eyes and he began trembling and looking all around. Was he safe? Was anything he was experiencing even real? Was he still in danger? Was this all just some sick trick? He must still be here. The battle must still be ongoing.

Dib screwed his eyes shut and tried to focus and block out whatever energy was screwing with his senses. But he couldn’t feel anything. Then an even more alarming feeling crossed into his sense of awareness. He couldn't feel The Adalbat. Where was it?!?

queen-of-lazuroth

Typically doctors were not supposed to be biased. They were supposed to handle every patient with the same attention and care, regardless of who they were. For the most part, Midge could do that. But when it came to the people she cared for most, her friends her family, she knew she definitely crossed that line into favoritism.

Luckily, she didn’t really take patients these days unless they were friends and family.

She’d lost count on how many nights she hadn’t slept, remaining vigilant at her best friend’s side, not wanting to miss the moment those eyes opened. Eventually she’d have to go over a care plan (prosthetics, physical therapy. She had to smack away a familiar and painful memory) but she had no intention of going into it right away. Who knew how coherent Dib would be when he finally actually woke up.

She had been there for the Almosts, every time making her heart rise into her throat with anticipation only to come crashing some like a broken elevator. It had been days of held breaths that turned into tears later on the night as she was held by her mates.

Midge had been checking Dib’s vitals when he stirred again, and like every other time she froze in her activities, watching. The couple times his eyes had opened she wondered if he could see her but something told her no and that he was still very far away.

This time though…

“Dib?” Midge said, her voice small and delicate, not wanting to startle Din anymore than he had to be. She took a step forward to get into his line of sight.

agentmothmanstrikesagain

Dib snapped his head around as soon as he heard Midge’s voice. His eyes widened further in disbelief until they were practically almost bugged out of his skull. No. No it couldn’t be. It wasn’t her. She wasn’t really here. It was a trick, an illusion.

Dib gripped the sides of the bed tightly, until his knuckles went white, and struggled to try and scoot himself further up on the bed. Every hair on his body was raised up, his heart was pounding faster than a cheetah could run, his guts twisted into a knot until he thought he might be sick. Every fiber of his being screamed DANGER. He took as defensive of a stance as he could, while he stared Midge down like she was evil incarnate.

He opened his mouth to speak but found that both mental and physically he could not will himself to make a peep, and it wasn’t from the dry throat or the lack of using his voice. He mouthed “Midge’s” name to her, keeping his eyes squarely trained on her and every movement she made.

There was only one way Dib would know that this was real…. There was no way That Fucker could get this right. He wouldn’t know Midge’s blood color from seeing the family photo kept in Dib’s wallet….

Dib looked at Midge grimly, and let go of the bed and made a motion with his hands, of pricking a finger with a needle. He had to know, he had to see.

queen-of-lazuroth

Midge forced herself to relax as she saw Dib expression change to something she could only describe as a mixture of fear and fury. She swallowed the lump in her throat. She couldn’t take it personally. Who knew what was going on in her best friend’s mind.

Her gaze shifted to the monitor momentarily, watching Dib’s heart rate spike. It wasn’t enough to set off the monitors just yet, thankfully, but she needed to tread carefully. If she startled Dib he could very well go back to being unconscious. She wasn’t sure she could handle that.

Her brow furrowed at his motions, trying to make heads of tails of it. What was he trying to tell her. She focused on Dib’s hand, racking her brain to figure out what her friend was saying. It was plain he was scared, unsure, and he needed something to be sure.

Finger? It almost looked like threading a needle. Wait…needle…

Keeping her movements careful and slow, she opened a drawer to her left and pulled a package containing a sterile needle. The room was silent save for the beeps of the machines and the sound of crinkling plastic as Midge pulled the needle from it. With a little less care than what she gave her patients, she took and deep breath and poked her index finger. A small bubble of blue blood emerged.

“Is..is that right? Is that what you need?” She asked gently.

agentmothmanstrikesagain

Dib watched Midge’s every move like a hawk, his wide eyes trained on her hands, but occasionally he’d flick his gaze to her face and make direct eye contact. His expression was one of agonizing suspicion and terror. Whatever it was he’d been through, had effected him deeply on a core level.

Dib’s expression changed as he saw Midge’s brilliant blue blood. It shone like a shining polished drop of lapis lazuli, and in that moment that single drop of blood gave Dib more relief and more hope than he thought he could ever feel in his entire life. There was no way in hell He could ever get that detail right.

All of the strength sapped out of Dib’s body, and the relief slackened the tension in his body. Tears welled up in his eyes as he began shaking from the grand overwhelming mixture of emotions he was feeling. It was her. It was really Midge. He was home.

Dib opened his mouth trying desperately once again to speak. “i-….iiisteeoo?” He croaked, his voice a shrill and barely audible whistling wheeze. The tears came faster than ever now, and he hesitantly reached his hand out, still wanting to know that this moment was truly real.

queen-of-lazuroth

Midge waited for Dib, continuing to hold out her bleeding finger. She felt as frozen as the air outside, unwilling to risk triggering Dib in anyway. The urge to not bite her lip was excruciatingly strong, but she wasn’t even willing to do that.

She could visibly tell when Dib began to relax. It was all at once, and when she saw tears well up in his eyes she nearly started crying herself. She crouched down in front of the bed, making herself small, still very aware of how vulnerable Dib was right now.

“Isteo,” she replied softly, taking Dib’s outstretched hand like it could shatter in her own. “It’s me. I’m here.”

agentmothmanstrikesagain

As Midge grabbed Dib’s hand and held it in hers, everything in that moment drifted away from his mind. It was as if an air of peace had been bestowed upon a land fraught with constant storms, and Midge was that shining ray of light piercing through the torrent of clouds like a spear.

Despite having been comatose for two weeks straight, Dib was still very strong. In fact, he was stronger physically now than he had been before he’d disappeared. He grabbed Midge, perhaps a little rougher than he’d have liked, and pulled her in, hugging onto her tighter than a vice.

Dib began to sob silently, as he held onto Midge, the only sound coming from him was the occasional hic and wheeze for air.

He was home… he was actually home.

#Re-reading this is making me fucking cry))#((AUGH I’ve waited for this arc for so long))