Cultists, Creatures, and other Bullshit

I'm Agent Anna Swallows, the most awesome agent in the FBPI and don't you forget it. Yeah, ha ha, my last name is funny. Get the hell over yourself. Basically, the world's going to shit and I've been roped into trying to stop it from getting any shittier. If you ever see me running, do try to keep up. [[Indie OC RP Blog. Call of Cthulhu PC. Will RP...

[agentswallows]

"I'm watching my Sim die by ladder removal. What do you want?"

[agentswallows]

"What's the most educated piece of scientific equipment?"

[hexgentic-deactivated20171226]

"No." He didn’t say much else, but stare her down. 

[agentswallows]

"Jesus christ, really?!" Usually waving her gun around worked, and usually resulted in the higher ups giving her a talk about misuse of her sidearm. It got the job done but this person before her wasn't even flinching--tough guy alert. "Don't tell me you're impervious to bullets or something."

[observando]

For I have known them all already, known them all— Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

T.S. Eliot, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock and Others (via observando)

[roleplayaskmemes]

The 12th gif in your folder is your muse's reaction to being hit on in a bar

[agentswallows]

[englishvampirebread-deactivated]

The 8th icon in your folder is your muse's reaction to being asked if they're a virgin

[abriguhan]

I'm not adult enough for this [agentswallows]

[abriguhan]

She didn’t know that the woman killed bat things and, therefore, could not be grateful for it. Even if she knew though, she wasn’t exactly working for the politically correct side of the moral avenue.

As far as she could see, everyone else was being ungrateful for how hard she was trying herself. They were at least on that same vein of thought, that, if they wrote a book about their lives, they would be rolling in the dough.

“Diyos ko po,” she muttered under her breath, ignoring that she was an agnostic. “I don’t even know anyone named Roxanne. Also, the twenty doesn’t quite cover what you owe. This ain’t no clerical error, miss, and the boss wants that money now. Told me I’d pester you or fight you for it if I have to.” The Scarecrow was making lots of people pay as of recent, even when he was well off financially at the moment. Something about keeping others on a tight leash. She was sympathetic about not having money to pay but sympathy wasn’t going to get her paid.

[agentswallows]

"How do you not know a Roxanne? I've met like twelve in my life! Although--to be fair--most of them weren't legally named Roxanne. But Coke doesn't care about legality." This whole ordeal was becoming more vexing with each passing second; not to mention the fact that this little assistant was not taking her excuses. For someone that had stared down angry cultists fairly regularly, she wasn't very scared about the fighting portion--just terribly inconvenienced.

"I'm not trying to be a bitch here--I'm not. You've got a job to do and well, it's a shit job. I'm going to be straight out with you: your boss is collecting this all way too early. What's his problem? He said I could pay back when I could and now he's riding my ass? Jesus." Pausing, she picked up a pen and tapped it on the desk to some song she had stuck in her head. She didn't have the funds to give him unless she was stupid enough to dip into her Agency's funds--and she was not stupid.

"Okay, how about this: can I repay in favors? He seems to be in a jam and I have resources and skills that could be useful. There's no need to fight anyone. And if he's in need of a bit of help, I can do that. I just can't give him the money yet. So, how about that? Sounds reasonable?"

[abriguhan]

Send ∩ to my inbox and I’ll use this website to generate a snapchat from my muse to yours

[agentswallows]

Game paused: Sourpuss.exe initiated. 

"No one ever comes to my office for a good reason, so just spit it out. C'mon, what is it this time? Ritual sacrifice? Mass of tentacles? Someone stole the President's sweetroll?"

[abriguhan]

I'm not adult enough for this [agentswallows]

[abriguhan]

She didn’t care if the guy was a six or a seven or a ten. Just. No. Why. Sure, she looked at porn but mostly to comment on how ridiculous the videos can get, especially with their premises. But it was quite different from seeing it in real life.

But moving on, so that she can move on!

“Sorry if I don’t believe you, Miss S. I sorta do all the boss’ accounting too and I don’t remember any payments from you. And I really can’t go back empty handed. I can’t really afford to be fired right now, yeah?”

[agentswallows]

Jesus, this one was just not going to give up. With everything else on her plate, it was getting a little ridiculous to have to worry about little things like paying back debts. She was killing fucking winged bat things for a living--no one ever thanked her.

Ungrateful bastards of society. One day, she was going to write about how great she was, and then she'd be in the money. Oh right--money.

"Look, I get that. I do. I greatly sympathize with you on that front and your obvious clerical error. Okay, here's a twenty and a bottle of Coke that says 'Roxanne' on it. That's the best I can do right now, yeah?"

[agentswallows]

 "Y'know what really grinds my gears? Fuckin' horsemen and sins and other things that make my life harder. You are all awful."

[weirdletter]

The Elder God, by Hinchel Or, via Behance.

[almost-not-natural]

[agentswallows]

Hey kids, as we approach Halloween I just wanted you guys to be careful and say DON’T FUCK WITH SPIRITS. Don’t mess with Ouija Boards, don’t talk to no dead people, don’t fuck with demons, don’t summon shit, don’t dick around in abandoned buildings. If you are considering a thing, just think, “would a white person in a horror movie do this thing?” If the answer is yes, then don’t do the thing.

[agentswallows]

"On a scale of renegade cultist to Nyarlathotep, how fucked is this situation exactly?"

[agentswallows]

  "You look like you need to buy me a drink."

[abriguhan]

I'm not adult enough for this [agentswallows]

[abriguhan]

"I would like a refund for that free show," she croaked out, cheeks still ablush.

She wasn’t. Oh god. She wasn’t going to get that image out of her head, was she? Not unless something else topped it in the mind scarring category. She was having half the mind to take a half dosage of Fear Toxin in the hopes of erasing it.

"A-Anyway! I’m just here on behalf of the boss to collect some debts, Miss Swa-" She had to stop. Was her name an innuendo? She thought it was a bird’s name!

[agentswallows]

"Oh come on! I know that guy was a little bit of a six but that's still above average." No, of course, she didn't mean that she hadn't wanted to see her in the flesh. That couldn't be. To be honest, she should have charged. Especially now that it sounded like she was about to be squeezed for money. What in the hell? She'd been paying people off with every check. Had she overlooked some-- Oh. Fuck. "Look, tell your boss that I sent his money via a money order." Lies.