@kit-is-a-weeb is my main in case anyone wants to see the hell that goes down there!
but yeah this is my star wars fandom blog for talking about star wars women! and. yeah. maybe. once in a while howzer i guess idk
y'all can call me Aimee, Jae, AJ, JJ, whatever combination in between. heck, make up a name! literally call me anything! (except girl repellent. i'm not.) no preference in pronouns either, just not it/its!
@echos-girlfriend was not knowingly involved in the decision to create this blog buttttttt it's still because of her i got really into Star Wars again so yeah that's why the tag jdmjdhzjdsjs
ANYWAYS HIE LOVE YOU GAMERS! REMEMBER TO STAY SAFE, DRINK SOME WATER AND NAME ANY FROGS YOU MIGHT MEET TODAY <3
I love how Crosshair doesn't say a single word after he saves Anakin from the droids. Like I know he's silent but you'd expect him to at least make a smug comment about it. Nothing. He's really trying to project the mysterious aura and impress the pretty Jedi isn't he
As requested by @golden-nyx-ghost
I hope I'm not too far off the mark 😅
Warnings: Mentioned Anxiety/Implied Traumatic Experience/Hurt/Comfort/Also; Crosshair (I mean strong language)
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Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)
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I had to do a little research on that topic and thought I'd share what I found.
Abandonment issues is an informal term that describes a strong fear of losing loved ones or of them leaving a relationship. This fear can result from trauma, anxiety, and other mental health conditions.
Most common “symptoms”
worry that friends or partners will leave them
constantly look for signs that others do not really like them
need frequent reassurance that others love them
always try to please others, even at their own expense
give too much in relationships, or have a lack of boundaries
stay in unhealthy relationships due to a fear of being alone
What it can do to a person:
Have anxiety: Both children and adults with fear of abandonment may feel chronically anxious, especially if they feel a relationship is about to end.
Experience relationship challenges: Anxiety about abandonment can alter a person’s perceptions of their relationship, causing them to see problems where none exist. They may be sensitive to any sign of rejection, or find it difficult to trust that their partner will not leave. This can result in clingy behavior, which may impact the relationship.
Communicate poorly: People with abandonment issues may develop harmful communication techniques to ease their anxiety. For example, they may engage in attention-seeking behavior to get the love they feel they might lose.
Engage in harmful behavior: People with a fear of abandonment can sometimes try to prevent their partner from leaving them through manipulative or even abusive behavior. For example, a person may try to prevent someone from socializing with others. This is a form of coercive control.
Source
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AC: Of course, there are different forms of this problem, and it doesn't have to go to the extreme right away. At this point, we assume that no chronic, negative (harmful) behaviors have manifested yet.
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Hunter
He is often quiet, introverted, but unlike you might think, he listens very carefully, is alert, attentive. He does not miss when your mood changes, and you are suddenly unsettled. Hunter reads your body language, notices every little thing. But he doesn't want to barge in, so he first tries to find out what makes you tick, to learn something about your past.
Gradually, he realizes what's bothering you, why you're sometimes so tense and overprotective when you communicate with him, why you sometimes barely let him out of your sight.
"You're afraid," he says unexpectedly.
You look at him, startled; you weren't really aware of it yourself. But now that he brings it up, you feel it abundantly clear.
"You won't lose me, you won't lose any of us. You won't get rid of us that easily."
You blink and say softly, "I've heard that before."
Hunter sighs softly, but smiles at you.
"You will see and learn with time that your past can't determine your future, it can only if you let it. You can count on us"
He grabs your shoulder and looks deep into your eyes.
"Do you trust me?"
You can't help but nod, Hunter's eyes, his expression, you feel so close to him.
"Good, have a little patience, that feeling of security you crave, it will come with time".
Echo
With him, you can talk openly about everything, he is a good listener, and he will always try to find a solution to the problems discussed between you. Echo can well understand what this fear of being abandoned or losing people is and how it feels. As a soldier, one inevitably deals with it a lot. Echo lost a great many of his brothers, not only to war, but also to Order 66.
"Some things we can't hold on to, no matter how hard we cling to them. That's a realization that's hard, but it comes eventually. You have to come to terms with it, make friends with it."
You wrap your arms around your body as if you need to hold on to yourself.
Echo sits down next to you and continues, "None of us want to leave you, but sometimes that's not in our power to decide. Voluntarily, we will never turn our backs on you. But you have to come to terms in a healthy way with the fact that some things are beyond our control."
You sigh softly and say, "I know, I just care that you don't seek distance from me because of me."
Echo laughs softly and says, "You're not getting rid of us that easily."
Wrecker
This cheerful guy is also a good listener and a good distraction. Wrecker can always carry you away and get you out of your darkest worries and thoughts. But he can also listen to you seriously and calmly when you need it.
He is attentive and much more empathetic than some might think.
Wrecker listens and nods in understanding.
"I know it's not the same, but I also sometimes fear losing my brothers. Well, as a soldier, you just worry about the things that might happen in the field. But you can't let that make you crazy."
You smile wryly at him.
"We certainly won't let you down on purpose," Wrecker says with conviction.
"Are you sure?"
"You're not losing us, we're here for you, every one of us," he says with a smile, thrusting a box of Mantel-mix into your hand.
You look up at him and say, "I've thought that about other people too."
Wrecker says perkily, "But we're not other people, we're Clone Force 99, and we deliver what we promise."
Tech
"Change is a fundamental part of life. People come and go, sometimes even those who are particularly close to us. That is quite normal. To be afraid of it is pointless."
You frown and say critically, "Aren't you afraid of suddenly being alone at some point?"
Tech goes into himself for a moment, thinks, then answers, "Not really. It's relatively unlikely that I'll suddenly find myself all alone at some point."
"Couldn't that theoretically happen to anyone?" you ask.
He frowns and says, "Well, theoretically it can, but there's also a probability factor."
You raise your eyebrows.
"Are you trying to tell yourself that right now because you're actually afraid of it too?"
Tech looks at you indignantly.
"I'm not afraid. There's no reason to be, and there's no reason for you to be. Why would we abandon you?"
You shrug, scenarios coming to mind.
"It's enough when priorities change, meeting new people in someone's life, that's often enough to split groups," you say seriously.
Tech hesitates.
"Well… yes, that may be true…"
"But?"
He sighs and says, "If you let that anxiety consume you, you can't enjoy the time you have with the people around you at all. This constant anxious tension is unhealthy"
"That may be," you admit quietly.
Tech hands you back your holopad he fixed for you.
"Here. Good as new," he says with a small smile.
"Thanks Tech, and thanks for listening".
"Anytime."
Crosshair
He has already recognized your behavior and that you cling does not agree with him at all. He can't handle it very well. Crosshair at least tries, in his own way.
"What do you want me to say? People leave us sometimes, and sometimes they leave us behind".
He himself has already had this painful experience, and actually he knows exactly how it feels.
"Hurts like a bitch, but it will pass. You can't let that define your life"
"That's easy for you to say," you sigh, dropping into your bunk.
Crosshair sighs deeply before sitting down on the bunk across from yours that actually belongs to Hunter and looks at you.
"No, I'm not just saying that. I've been through this experience too, I know it sucks, and I know you can get through it if you don't let it consume you."
You sit up and look at him questioningly.
"And how did you do that? How did you deal with it?"
Crosshair sighs again, shakes his head, and says grumpily, "You might not want to take an example from that"
"Why not?"
"My approach was unhealthy, too," he says reluctantly.
As you look at him questioningly, he continues, "Echo would probably say I'm stubborn as shit, but that wasn't it, not quite."
"Then what was it?" you ask cautiously, sensing that you're on sensitive ground here.
Crosshair looks around as if to make sure the two of you are alone. Finally, he looks at you again.
"I didn't cling to other people, but to being a soldier, to my supposed duty. The reason why my brothers and I actually parted ways to begin with. I plunged deeper into it, so deep that soon I was no longer myself. The whole process was painful, for me and others, you should not take an example from that".
You don't say the question that is on the tip of your tongue, but he answers it anyway, as if he felt it.
"Enjoy what you have, hold on to the positive things, not the negative. Deal with it, but deal with it sensibly. You can't force anything, neither that people stay with you nor that old wounds heal. Everything needs time and some work. But you can be sure, we would never abandon you willingly, none of us".
Summary: Reader meditates with a frustrated Ahsoka and helps her connect with the Force again
Word Count: 1.1k
Warnings: idk, fluff? Jedi? Clone wars, but not really?
A/n: Heyyyyy! <3333 I just want y’all to know I love Ahsoka. Here is a fic about my literal wife during the clone wars. Hope you enjoy!
Master-list
The vast halls were relatively quiet for this hour. [Name] walked down the long pillared corridors of the Jedi temple in need of peace.
Peace from the war around her, peace from the people, and most importantly, peace from her thoughts.
There were maybe two people in the hall with her, but they were quite a while away and she couldn’t really hear them. Her footsteps felt heavy as she seemed to all but shuffle as she moved. It was late afternoon, many would have left for the mess hall by now, [Name] could feel the effects of not heading straight to eat and it was causing her to drag her feet.
This was not very Jedi like of her, something she is all too aware of. She was used to holding herself a certain way but at this moment, she couldn’t be bothered to care. All she seemed to care about was her destination. The clicking of her heals in her boots felt loud in the echo of the vast halls, it made [Name] feel small.
Racing thoughts seemed to keep her head occupied, almost so much so that she almost missed the door she meant to enter. As she moved to stand in front of the door, it slid open with ease, revealing a crossed legged Ahsoka sitting on a soft seat in the middle of the dark room.
Taking a step in, [Name] was made aware of the dim lights rimming the room as the door closed behind her. They were bright enough that [Name] could still see Ahsoka’s face, but still dark enough to not be off putting.
Her face was tranquil, calm, and completely neutral; a clear sign of her deep meditation. Her shoulders were relaxed and for once she didn’t look like the weight of the galaxy was on her shoulders. Despite her mostly neutral appearance, [Name] clocked Ahsoka’s recognition of her arrival in the Force. It felt almost… relieved.
“I thought you might be in here,” [Name]’s voice rang out, taking a step closer.
A smile grew on Ahsoka’s face, her eyes still closed from her meditative state.
“You always did know me the best,” Ahsoka said smiling.
Ahsoka heard sounds of rustling as [Name] took a seat in the plush stool across from her. [Name] took a deep breath in as she crossed her legs in front of her. The breath came easily, like she had been holding her breath for a number of hours.
Closing her eyes, [Name] released herself into the force, finding the embrace the Force gave her refreshing. The Force seemed to rid her of her fears and suffering, the anxieties in her mind dissolved, leaving only peace as she reached deeper. [Name]’s strong emotions were no match to her connection to the force.
A couple of moments later, after [Name] had relinquished the power of the thoughts in her mind, she turned her attention to the other Force being in the room.
Ahsoka’s Force presence was like none other, taking all of [Name]’s attention all at once. Ahsoka had seemed to have always been in her life and thus, her presence was all too familiar. Since she arrived at the temple all those years ago, [Name] seemed inseparable with Ahsoka.
That familiarity of Ahsoka’s presence brought peace to [Name] that only the Force could rival. And it was days like this, sat comfortably in each other’s presence, that [Name] thought that Ahsoka felt the same way.
All at once, [Name] was met with the understanding of all of Ahsoka’s strong thoughts and emotions. Ahsoka had come into that room hoping to find peace, and while [Name] had quickly come to that peace, Ahsoka was having a harder time succumbing to the Force and letting go of her emotions.
Although in deep meditation, Ahsoka’s feelings were easy to read, and it was clear to [Name] that Ahsoka was also not trying to hide her feelings from her. Opening her eyes for a moment, [Name] looked at Ahsoka in her deep meditative state again. She was still as relaxed in the shoulders—an important part of a good meditation—but the neutrality in her face was replaced with a subtle furrow in her brow and a slight pout that [Name] could only smirk softly at.
Taking another deep breath, [Name] closed her eyes again, letting the Force guide her. Her attention was once again focused on Ahsoka’s frustrated Force presence. She tried to reach out with her mind, with the Force, to try and ease some of Ahsoka’s tension.
Ahsoka’s mind was racing and as hard as she tried to get it to quiet, the thoughts just kept getting louder. Trying to push the thoughts away seemed to have the opposite effect and her frustration over was not helping.
Despite the distance between the two seated padawans, [Name] felt as if she was surrounded by Ahsoka. [Name] took another deep breath before extending her own force presence to gently nudge Ahsoka.
Ahsoka in her deep meditation instantly felt the presence of [Name] and the reminder that she was still there. That she was not alone.
‘Let go’
A little voice in her head seemed to say. Ahsoka couldn’t tell if that was [Name]’s voice or just one of the Force, but either way she took the advice.
Taking a deep breath, Ahsoka dropped her shoulders in a great exhale. Her body seemed to still from the inside and she felt the full weight of the Force surrounding her, penetrating her and binding her together. Her mind was silenced and she was completely connected to the Force once again.
She felt like she was more than her body, that—even with her eyes closed—she could see everything that was in the room; feel it too. She was totally in tune, something that she had been needing for a matter of days now. She felt Peaceful.
After some much needed connection with the Force, Ahsoka found herself coming out of her meditation. Opening her eyes, she found [Name] smiling at her already in the dim lighting.
“Thank you,” Was all Ahsoka could manage as she was caught in [Name]’s eyes.
“Anything for you,” The affection in her tone was evident, but went unsaid as it usually does with the two. “Come on, we have to get to the mess hall.”
Ahsoka smiled fondly before nodding. If they stay there any longer, their master’s would come looking for them, and they didn’t need that. So they ran off to dinner, looking at on each other every now and again. Because although they can sense each other in the Force, sometimes just seeing the other there is just as comforting.
A/n: Thank you so much for reading! I am trying to get requests out, don’t worry! <3333
