My Ned Gerblanski headcanons because I love the silly one armed bastard :3 (also includes some mentions of Nedbo and a little angst)
When Ned is drunk, he acts like a completely different person like he would act like a crazy ass lunatic and would cause chaos to the town by himself
On some occasions Ned would be outside in the blistering cold with nothing but pants on and would come out completely fine without feeling cold. Body temperature is scared of him
Ned hates loud and sudden noises because it gives him flashbacks when he was in the Vietnam war and Jimbo would comfort him especially if he shows his vulnerable side
Whenever Ned is asleep, he always snores but his snoring usually sounds like a bunch of gurgling noises due to the fact that he has some of his throat parts removed
Ned is one of the shortest adults in town, only five feet tall and whenever he's hanging out with friends, they would sometimes put their arm on his head since he's so small. He doesn't care if people do that to him because he's used to it
Ned would occasionally experience PTSD related nightmares, usually flashbacks from his time in the Vietnam war or his childhood trauma and it's basically like he's reliving through it all again and Jimbo would keep reassuring him that he's safe now and it doesn't matter if it's in the middle of the night or not, his husband would always make sure that Ned is ok
When Ned does get vulnerable like when he experiences his PTSD episodes for example, he would usually have a big panic attack along with some crying as well but not like full on sobbing, usually more teary eyed but it would've been silent anyway because of no vocal cords
Ned started smoking cigarettes when he was only 13 years old and in the seventh grade and it's mainly because his own father was a heavy smoker himself and once Ned discovered those things he used it excessively as a coping mechanism and eventually he stopped in his mid to late 30s because it was around that time where he was diagnosed with throat cancer and happened a few months before Shelley was born. Ned has the guilt feeling that his beloved niece and nephew will never hear his natural voice if he hasn't smoked that much
Every time Ned makes a phone call, people assume that it's either a scam or an AI because of his artificial voice
Ned is very good at dancing like at first he can act nonchalant and next thing you know he's suddenly breaking into very impressive dancing that everyone would be impressed with. He would also get all perfect scores on those just dance games even at extreme level
Ned is half Russian half Canadian mainly because of his overall appearance and his surname that appears to be very slavic. Ned can also speak the Russian language fluently without hesitation
Even though Ned is legally referred to as "Ned Kern" some people would still refer to him as "Ned Gerblanski" even though he's married to Jimbo and that it's his maiden name
Ned likes listening to alternative rock music especially if it's from the 90s to early 2000s. Some of his favorite rock artists include Radiohead, the offspring, Nirvana, Limp Bizkit, slipknot, and system of a down
Ned would usually have his glasses off whenever he's inside at he and his husband's cabin and Jimbo likes seeing his beautiful eyes no matter what
After the manbearpig incident, Ned would sometimes get insecure about his facial scars and would sometimes cover them up with concealer. Even after being fully recovered and having the ability to fully walk again, it still reminds him about the horrific time when he was brutally attacked and would sometimes get memories about the incident if he stood and stared at the mirror for too long
Ned is autistic and he would sometimes get overstimulated whenever he's in big crowds for longer periods of time and he also quite struggles with social cues as well which is one of the main reasons why he doesn't talk that much. Ned would also have PTSD and depression from all of the crazy stuff that he went through his whole life and the manbearpig incident declined his mental health even more
Whenever Ned makes some shocked expression he would take his glasses off just to see how surprised he actually is. He also does the same thing whenever he expresses anger even though it's very rare to him
Sometimes Ned would tape his voice box to his throat whenever he wants to talk and do things at the same time and even though he has a prosthetic arm, he only does that whenever he doesn't feel like using that said arm
Ned usually has a very good memory but sometimes it's also a curse to him because that also means that he remembers the trauma very well
Ned would appear much older than he actually is because of the stress trauma and everything he's experienced just kind of shows it on his face like he would have eye bags and wrinkles from all of the mental stress
Ned would always look like a hot mess whenever he wakes up like he would have those eye bags, messy hair and probably some drool hanging from his mouth as well
Ned would spend hours talking about any kind of history and would describe it in that much detail and would also read a lot of history books as well like what he usually does in his free time
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