[akilliz]

I knew I was ethereal when ppl were offended (!) upon realizing they were not the first nor only one to succeed in cheating, deceiving, betraying, demeaning, excluding, and objectifying me. As if their life could be won over mine. As if provoking me to hate & spite would justify them. It disgusts me to know that the more I nurture, the more ludicrous the opportunity to harm me becomes; just because I’m not the consequence u had hoped for.

U can strip ppl of their humanity but u cannot predict what they will become of it. I chose to become good so that I can strike with a clear conscience, if I choose to do so. I chose patience because I’m preoccupied & exhausted.

I strongly believe that ppl with nothing to lose are the most dangerous. Under scrutiny, I chose not to become formless but so multi-faceted that I’m almost unidentifiable. If u disrupt my reality, I will make urs weaken too. All is fair in warfare, right?

[akilliz]

While polishing my tools I realized something

[akilliz]

The heart and the mind are best friends. Duality can oscillate so quickly that they appear as one—that is my goal.

[akilliz]

It’s soooo difficult to not insult people.

[akilliz]

A person’s demons surface when they are convinced that they can tell, know, whether someone (another autonomous self) is in/capable of loving them back. That is how defensive about love they are. Love turns into ownership & possession. Their children grow to reflect their bad habits; they end up hating the self & the child simultaneously.

Re: social psychology. As a social species, shame & disgust are encoded to conceptualize what doesn’t fit in a group’s morals, values, etc. When shame is misplaced, it is taught generationally. Early childhood is the foundation of a person’s view of themselves, others, and the world.

[akilliz]

A linguistic prodigy grows restless and translates the verbal to nonverbal

Related domains of therapy: EDMR, art, music, physical nervous system management

Reason for this study: emotion & language are dominant in the left temporal lobe. Spatial-visual data is dominant in the right temporal lobe. What can be traced without needing to be filled in extends psychological wellness to vulnerable populations - e.g., to overcome language barriers, illiteracy, grief that is far too weighted; to incorporate passive therapy as a workaround to the increasing demands of daily life.

[akilliz]

If our experiences are encoded by level of salience, and emotions can be provoked & observed by semi-controlled exposure & mindfulness, then I can have everything I’ve ever wished for if I don’t mind whether the colour & shape is what I thought it would be. Would you rather have a crumb or starve?

I.e., the blinded can perceive more spectral points in black & sense more depth in the void. This is attunement. Then discipline evolves into discernment.

One will find that shadows have depth and texture; space has grain, heat, and humidity.

[akilliz]

I think we need to consider if we have enough community support to raise a child. Financial stability is not enough; children need role models. Our code is not numeric, it’s linguistic & social.

[akilliz]

I never thought I’d see the day where I’d appreciate rumours as they now function to filter out idiots 🤭

[akilliz]

If u do not respect ur mother then u will detest me. I am proof of resilience & that women do not need saviours. So if ur mother does not need saving, then what is ur purpose? And if ur mother let herself & u down, where will that grief go? If u were born an extension of her, who are u, really?

[akilliz]

Oh, you’re in awe of and/or envy me because I’m so rare. I’m not too much, I’m so much.

[akilliz]

Life is order. If it doesn’t make sense then it’s likely ur perception is warped rather than humanity or the universe itself.

[akilliz]

I’m at the edge of a medical revolution. I think I can be generalized to a biopsychosocial model of understanding the global effect of the pandemic.

[akilliz]

Vulnerable animal versus disgusting leech, desperate parasite

[akilliz]

Whatever, don’t care. If it succeeds to jade me I’ll finally tattoo my head.

[akilliz]

1. Nothing in life is free

2. Fear people who have nothing to lose, not even an identity

[akilliz]

Hate ppl who resent how much they adore me