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muse blog @ taehyvngkimm

[taehyvngkimmarchive]

this one will be archived

[alaskawritcs]

          After giving birth to little Adrian, Haley still found it weird to no long feel his little kicks inside her stomach or even have the excuse of eating for two now. August fifth was when Adrian graced the world and Haley couldn’t have been more happy until then, but now as the days go on, she was more anxious at fucking this up from her first rodeo with Lydia and Bryce. As she caressed the little babies head and leaned down to smell and smiled, “You are going to be such a sweetheart, let’s hope you don’t become mischievous like your dad.” The little baby stared up at her in quiet content, after feeding and burping him, she was on leave for three months and she wondered if she should pick up on photography again. @lipa1x1​

[alaskawritcs]

lipa1x1​:

“Wolfgang?” Spencer internally cringed as the name rolled off his tongue. “Wolfie.” With the shake of his head, a grin spread across his features. “That’d be a good name for a dog if we would ever want one.” Though he was sure a baby would keep them busy enough for the time being. The names Haley listed sounded a lot better, at least to him. “See — now we’re talkin’, Sinclair. Amelia could be cute, shortened to Amy — then again, I feel like we know too many Amy’s.” Weston’s sister, for example, but also his own. “Claudia is a nice name for a girl.” As she listed the boy’s names, he nodded. “I like… Adrian, I think. Adrian Bayer. Or Sinclair. Goes well with both, if you ask me.” He’d leave that option to Haley. They weren’t married, as far as he knew there were no rules. Then again, what did he know about all this?

Spencer couldn’t help but laugh at her words. “A fuck boy? Not in this household.” There was no way he would let that happen, intending on raising his first child with respect and care. His own father hadn’t been the greatest example, so it was his goal to be the best father he could be to the little peanut growing inside of Haley. “God, you’re probably right. While I do think they’d be a good influence on the kid and great support for us… We both know the baby is going to be spoiled by all of them.” Though he couldn’t be more grateful for the people around them. The boys had truly supported him through every step, thick and thin. Spencer knew that wouldn’t change once the baby was born. 

     Haley felt a smile appear on her face at his agreement to the names, she glanced down at her stomach, reaching down to lightly caress the bump and looked back at Spencer, “Adrian Bayer definitely has a ring to it and if it’s a girl Claudia should be fine, we can possibly do Adrian Sinclair Bayer? But even that sounds cheesy as shit.” she couldn’t possibly imagine naming her kid's middle name after her last name, as much as she loved her dad, she figured her kids should have their father’s last name, The brunette was certain she wouldn’t run off like she has done with Bryce, which she wished she could somehow to change things so her ex-husband wouldn’t be hurt from her actions. The idea of marrying Spencer scared her, she was afraid of failing like her first marriage or worse hurting Spencer. 

She reached out towards Spencer’s hand and placed it onto her stomach to feel the small kick, barely there but enough to know. “Whatever happens, we’ll work through it, I mean...I never thought we’d end up back together now look at us, we’re going to have a kid and now you’re officially stuck with my ass for 18 years of the child’s life. You sure you want to stick around?” 

[alaskawritcs]

lipa1x1‌:

That question got him thinking for a couple of seconds. “I mean — I don’t know? You’re the one carryin’ the little peanut, I think it’s only fair you get to decide. You know I’ll back your choice either way.” Thinking of the little peanut either being a boy or a girl made him nervous, in a way. He’d always thought he would have a preference, but at this point, all he wanted was for the baby to be healthy. Spencer would love a little girl — a little Haley, someone who can look up to Lydia, someone he could protect. But he would love a little boy just as much — a little Spencer, protecting his big sister and mommy, playing sports with the guys. He would be happy either way, and he knew Haley would be, too. 

Spencer laughed as she mentioned the possibility of him fainting. “Are you callin’ me a pussy, babe?” He teased, a grin spreading across his face. The question about the name of the baby was something else he hadn’t considered yet. Sometimes he really hated himself for underestimating all the planning and preparation during the pregnancy itself. And he wasn’t even the one with the baby bump. “I like old fashioned names, though. Not those… complicated names, y’know? Like… Exton, or Phoenix. Way too damn complicated.” But that was just his take on things, obviously everything could be up for discussion. “You got anythin’ in mind yet? I know you girls have discussed these kinda things in high school, so don’t try ‘n tell me you don’t have a list with names.” The teasing tone once again returned as he spoke. 

“Waterbirth? Never heard of it… Does that mean you’d give birth in like a bath or a shower? Is that a thing?” Another thing that blew his mind. Spencer really figured birth was just popping the little human out and getting it over with. Little did he know there were multiple methods to do that. “Perhaps you could talk to someone who’s done it that way, see if it’s something that would work for you. I just want you to be as comfortable as possible,” even though he knew from all the stories he’d heard, that giving birth was far from comfortable. “Hey, don’t go blamin’ that on me,” he said with a laugh. “I’m sure the kid’ll be fine if he gets my height and your beauty.”

“Oh honey, you must be mistaking me as one of your other exes who had everything planned out,” Haley jokingly stated as she reached out to lightly pat the side of his face, in all honesty, Haley was probably the most unprepared person in the world, it was a miracle that she even managed to come up with a name for her first kid all thanks to her previous husband but now she had to pick out another name not knowing the sex of the baby yet. She knew her close friends wanted to throw a gender reveal party for them and it would probably be best to figure out a boy or girl name. “Exton or Phoenix...nah, we could totally go with Wolfgang...add a little spice to the names, Wolfie for short if you like.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him and burst out laughing, “Okay okay...so if our baby is a girl...poor thing will have to deal with hormones...I was thinking...Amelia, Claudia, or Lilith. Very old fashion names for you. As for boys...Adrian, Matthew, Dylan, or Connor.” 

Haley could tell Spencer was getting slightly overwhelmed with the different possibilities of giving birth, hell she didn’t know there were many other choices but she did the old’ clinic birth where she drugged herself up on meds to save her from killing a nurse. “Your height and my beauty, damn our child will be good looking--oh my god, what if we had a boy and he would end up being a fuck boy? Knowing your friends and my friends would be around they would corrupt our little baby.” 

[alaskawritcs]

lipa1x1‌:

“Heck yeah — if we’re goin’ parents mode, then we’re goin’ full parents mode. I’ve been workin’ on my dad jokes, too. Turns out most jokes I make are dad jokes anyway.” The grin on his face still didn’t falter. The topic of their child brought him the sort of happiness that made you feel giddy. Almost like falling in love for the first time again. “Hot clothes? You’ll be a MILF either way, babe. You already are, actually.” He’d teased her with it plenty of times before, ever since she had birthed Lydia. “M’yeah, we should probably work on that, huh?” A laugh followed his words, though he knew she would do a great job. He didn’t think he was ready at all. Spencer knew so much was going to change from the moment their little peanut would be in their arms. Things were already changing — the worrying about Haley when he was at work, all the preparations for the baby. It was a lot, but he was trying his best to stay cool, calm and collected. “You’ll do absolutely fine, Haley.”

“The fact that you’re here, happy and all, means something, right? We all deserve to be happy, Hales. Despite our past. You’re not a bad person. The things you’ve done in the past don’t define your future.” Of course, it was a thought that had crossed Spencer’s mind a couple of times over the last few months, since Haley announced to him she was pregnant. How could he not? The fear of her leaving him and the baby like she did with Lydia and Bryce. But he trusted her, trusted that she loved him enough to stay and fight through all the things they’d encounter together. “That’s important, y’know? Lydia knows that she’s loved by her parents. And she is in fact very mature for her age, but that’s a good thing.” A small smile settled on his lips as she changed the topic quickly after that, not surprised at all. But he understood, and for now, he would let it slip. “Really? They can see that? I mean, I guess that makes sense — but that’s crazy. Do you feel the baby move a lot?” He’d put his hand on her belly a couple of times, trying to feel the movements. It seemed that every time he did, the baby would stop moving. 

      "Peanut seems to enjoy sleeping most of the time but occasionally I can feel them moving but we have a doctor’s appointment soon to find out the sex--unless you want to keep that a surprise?” Haley questioned, she was fine with whatever choice he had, she was just excited to see how the baby would grow up and mostly see their personality. She could also already see how excited and cautious Spencer was, it almost reminded her of Bryce and already that dimmed her attitude slightly before clearing her throat. “We have almost everything set up...but I know for a fact you possibly might faint when the baby comes--oh we should discuss names, because I mean I barely even named Lydia, I was close to naming her an old lady’s name--which I guess Lydia is sort of an old lady’s name?” 

When she told her father about him expecting another grandchild, all he could do was laugh and shake his head, although he knew that her mother ruined her mentally, he understood that she was happy with Spencer now but he would always be there for Bryce since he considered Bryce as a son by now with the years she was gone and he leaned on her dad. “Also someone was telling me to consider water birth? Which I mean it’s fitting since I will soon be like a damn whale, I’m pretty certain this baby will get your height.” 

[alaskawritcs]

lipa1x1‌:

“Look, if it’s up to me, your diet won’t start at all.” Spencer shrugged with a gentle chuckle following his words. Then again, he wasn’t the one pregnant. “You know what the consequences of becoming a dad are, right?” He teased, rubbing his own belly. “I gotta get a dad bod now. Wes said I’m already on my way — I took it as a compliment.” A toothy grin formed on his face as he spoke, thinking back to that conversation.

As Haley sat down, he filled both their glasses with water. The mention of her ex-husband made him raise his brows momentarily, not expecting that at all. “Today?” Spencer asked. He had absolutely no issues with Bryce, though he knew the whole situation still gnawed at Haley. And from the sound of things, it wasn’t all that positive. Did he feel guilty? No. He was happy with Haley, the fact that they were expecting a little kid filled him with more joy he ever thought was possible. “He came over drunk?” That just worried Spencer. He didn’t want Haley to be stressed about these things, knowing the pressure it could put on the pregnancy. “Haley…” He started, looking for the right words as he knew her previous marriage was a sensitive subject. “I can see why it’s hard for him, or why he blames you. But it’s not fair for you to take all the blame. He wants the same thing everyone else wants — a happy family in a happy marriage. That’s what I want for us, too. But it doesn’t always work out, and it’s hard seeing someone you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with, moving on with someone else.” The irony was, Spencer had once been at Haley and Bryce’s wedding. At that point, he was in Bryce’s shoes. Watching the woman he still loved after all those years, marrying someone else. Starting a family, with someone else. “It’s not going to be easy. I don’t blame him for the frustration. But you both need to handle this as parents for Lydia. I hope he can see past our situation and focus on being a good dad to your daughter.” 

Haley always knew that Spencer was far too good for her, which always surprised her that he stuck around for so long, especially during the time they weren’t together but still remained friends. Maybe Bryce was right about a lot of things regarding her and Spencer’s relationship, she did love Bryce and still do but now that part of their relationship was gone. There wasn’t any going back to what once was, not like she would anyways, she was happy with Spencer and they were having a baby. A baby, the one thing she assumed she wouldn’t ever go through again after Lydia. The fact she wasn’t there to watch her grow up into the little rascal she was now, broke her heart but this time around she will correct her wrongs and she knew Lydia would love her little sibling even more. “Oh, so you want us to gain weight to be the typical parents huh? I hope you know I strive to be a MILF so once this baby pops out, I will be getting my ass back into shape so I can strut around in hot clothes,” Haley laughed, knowing damn well she wouldn’t find the motivation after giving birth to hit the gym. She recalled the late-night feedings and changing diapers, already mentally groaning at what they will be facing. “I think you’re far more ready than I am on the parent role, what if I fuck it up--with my potty mouth our baby’s first words will be fuck.” 

Taking a drink of the water as she used her other hand to tug down the shirt, figured she probably should have put on the sweats again before coming down in the jeans that no longer fit her right. “I know, it’s just...sometimes I wonder if I even made the right choice. You both deserve to be happy, I did a lot of shit that I’m wondering if I am even meant to be happy, yet here I am” She glanced down at the baby bump, her hand rubbing it, “and I know, I shouldn’t be overthinking everything with what the doctors said about stress and how it can affect the baby. But I’m naturally a worrywart and I think Lydia is hoping the baby is a girl so she can have a little sister, it was hard enough to spill the news but she is way too mature for her age that she didn’t throw a tantrum, I think it was the help of Bryce. Although we both have our differences...I know for a fact he always places Lydia’s interest first. But enough about Bryce talk...and yes I’m changing the subject, I don’t know what to do at this point and sitting here talking about it is upsetting the baby--which by the way, I hope you know in the baby book I read, peanut here, can see light and dark which explains why they move around so damn much.” 

[alaskawritcs]

lipa1x1‌:

He lifted his head as she walked towards the kitchen, placing both plates he’d grabbed down on the kitchen counter. The corners of his lips tugged up into a smile, as Spencer shook his head in an amused manner. “On a diet?” He just about managed to hold in the snort that was threatening to escape, but the sight of the unbuttoned jeans and the raised shirt definitely made him chuckle. “You’re tryin’ to tell me, that at 5 months pregnant, you’re goin’ on a diet?” The amused grin didn’t falter as the words rolled off his tongue.

Spencer walked up to her, one arm snaking around her waist as his other hand rested on the growing bump. “How ‘bout you start dieting after we eat the delicious burgers I brought home? Or… maybe after you push our little peanut over here out into the open world. How does that sound? Or never. Yeah, never — sounds pretty good to me.” After his short ramble, he slightly inched down and pecked her lips. Our little peanut. That thought only made his smile grow even wider, along with a strange sensation of butterflies in his stomach. It had been a long time since he’d truly felt this giddy. Along with it came a lot of insecurities, too. Not only about himself, but about their relationship as well. They would cross that bridge when they got there, right? It’s how they handled things.

As Spencer walked back up to the kitchen counter and placed the food on the plates, he grabbed them and walked over to the dinner table. “How’s your day been? Anythin’ exciting happen?”

        Haley playfully glared towards Spencer and sighed, glancing down at her stomach that now poked out far more as the days went on, it was crazy to think that last year she wasn’t thinking of ever having another baby but now she was more than excited to welcome the new addition into her life and the fact Spencer was becoming more of a dotting father was proof that he was definitely excited. “We both know my diet won’t start until the baby is possibly two...maybe three years old. It’s a miracle that I even lost my baby weight from Lydia, now I have to gain more because of peanut.” She pouted before walked over towards the table and took a seat. 

“Well...Bryce and I got into an argument, I think he’s having--no I know he’s having a hard time with the fact I’m having a kid and also being with you, I mean...I just...I don’t know anymore Spencer. I try to create a relationship where we can co-parent Lydia but he’s being so frustrating and he even came over drunk one night to say I never loved him because I’m with you and happy with a baby on the way.” Haley knew this wasn’t the time to talk about her ex-husband but Spencer was one of the people who she considered a best friend and known her longest to help, even if they were together with a baby on the way. 

[alaskawritcs]

lipa1x1‌:

@alaskawritcs

He was going to be a father. It still seemed surreal. Sometimes Spencer found it hard to wrap his head around it, then he remember how eternally grateful he was for this. Never had he expected that him and Haley would move so quickly after getting back together, but sometimes things just happened. This was one of those things. He’d found himself only caring and loving more for his girlfriend than he did before. The growing belly sure was something he was getting used to. 21 weeks. That meant they were halfway there, right? 

To celebrate, Spencer thought it would’ve been a great idee to get some burgers from their favorite place and spoil his pregnant girlfriend. “Babe?” Spencer yelled out as he opened the door to their now shared apartment. That, too, was something that changed and had to be done during the pregnancy. “I’m home. I brought dinner!” His eyes scanned the living space, but the couch and the kitchen were empty. Walking up to the kitchen, he placed the plastic bag filled with goods on the counter and shrugged off his denim jacket. “I’ll set the table, don’t want the food to get cold,” he called out once again, waiting for her to walk into the small kitchen and join him for dinner.

     As the weeks went on, Haley started to notice changes in her body, being pregnant wasn’t a first for her but she almost forgot how much trouble it was to fit into jeans or even a dress without looking completely bloated. It was coming to a time to spill the news to Lydia finally that she was going to have a little sibling and she wasn’t sure she was exactly ready for that conversation until well earlier today after having a conversation with Bryce which ended up with them in each other’s face placing blame and faults on one another. As much as Haley loved Bryce, there was a time where they weren’t trying to hate one another, but now those moments are gone, she was guilty of being happy with Spencer and starting a new family. 

when she heard Spencer’s voice and the mention of dinner, her stomach growled which she glared down at and sighed, “peanut, you’re killing me. How am I supposed to rock being a hot mom when I feel super bloated plus the burps?” She mumbled as she rubbed her stomach before walking towards where Spencer was at. Her pants were unbuttoned and her shirt raised up, looking at Spencer. “I’m going on a diet, it’s official. I can’t fit into my jeans.” 

[alaskawritcs]

shawnmdes‌:

                     ❝  don’t what  ,  haley  ?  ❞     the male spoke  ,  his voice full of what seemed to be a mixture of hurt  ,  anger  ,  and brokenness  .     ❝  say the truth  ?  ‘cause that’s all i’m fucking doing right now  .  it’s the truth  ,  i don’t care what you say or how many tears you threat to shed  …  maybe you loved me once  …  but the moment you left  ,  i knew you didn’t love me anymore  .  ❞     bryce had always had a difficult time when it came to people leaving  .  blame his childhood for the twisted and hurtful way he looked at the action  .  as much as bryce didn’t want to be alone  ,  he knew that that was probably what his life would be  .  he seemed to drift into loneliness  .  it was depressing and something he didn’t like to believe but that’s all he had even known  .  that’s what lead him here  …  as if he was looking for one more sign that things would work  ,  seeing her only made it clear it wouldn’t  .  that’s what lead him to the bottle  ,  lead him to throw away everything he had worked for  .  it was tragic  ,  the things people will do in their grief  .  that’s what this was  ,  grief  …  grief at the realization that haley really would never be in his life the way he wanted again  .  of course  ,  he felt remorse and sadness when seeing the tears in her eyes but he was so caught up in his own head that he didn’t want to comfort her  .  he wanted her to hurt as badly as him  .     ❝  you can’t blame your mother for every shit thing you do  .  at some point you have to take control of your own life  .  and honestly  ,  haley  …  look at us  ,  you won’t even talk to me  …  you’ve never been able to tell me what’s actually going on in your head  .  we were built on two fucked up people that needed someone but the thing was i was the one constantly giving and you were always the one always taking  .  you stripped the life from me  .  ❞

          HALEY struggled to catch her breath, how could she almost let the one secret she kept from Bryce slip past her lips, she knew if she even utters out those words he would hate her even more and she couldn’t bear the thought of him doing something crazy due to the conflict of pain and heartache she bestowed on him. Though he did have a point, she needed to face her actions instead of placing blame on the one woman she hated her whole life, maybe not hate but a strong dislike for abandoning her, causing problems that affect her now relationship with others. The two of them were broken people who clearly leaned against one another, hoping they could fix that gaping hole left behind by the people they trusted and wished they loved them back, maybe for a short bit they played pretend as if they were fixed and played the perfect family for a short bit. Haley closed her eyes tightly as she tried to figure out the next words to say back to him, she could feel her heart actually breaking inside her chest at his words, was that all she was good for? Taking and never giving back to those who clearly loved her? Was she doing that with Spencer now? Taking and ruining his life as well, was it a problem she decided to keep the baby in her stomach as if it was a chance to prove she wasn’t a terrible mother and she was able to maintain a healthy family without it falling apart? Everything was going through her head that she gripped the back of her couch to steady herself and lift her head, sniffling before whispering, “you’re right...I am the problem...I’m the reason for causing the pain in your life--if only you could hate, but do you really think that moving on could erase me from your life? Erase the love we had, the memories, the passion, and petty fights?” 

          Turning around, she looked at him placing a hand over her chest as she struggled to not break down and cry in front of him, tried hard not to think about the past memories they had together, the happy ones she kept in her heart. She held a huge regret for not staying and fixing things, opening up to him as he just stated, why couldn’t she be open to him? She knew everything about him and yet, she only kept him at an arm's length in fear he would leave her also. Which was pitiful since he held that fear as well yet she was the one to break the promise of not leaving. “I’m sorry for not being open, I’m sorry for everything, I’m sorry for ruining your life--for making it terrible you had to be married to me, for being Lydia’s mother, the wife who just leaves her family behind because she was scared. I’m a shit person--what more do you want from me? Do you want me to drop to my knees and cry for forgiveness? I don’t know what you want from me Bryce, do you wish you never met me, married me? Love me?” her voice cracking at the end of the sentence as she let the tear fall down her face.

[alaskawritcs]

OPEN STARTER

        “Look I’m in a rush, I’m sorry for almost running you over...now can you please move?” Alice asked as she stared at the other, a little irritated from ruining her favorite heels from the drink spilling over their feet. 

[alaskawritcs]

OPEN STARTER ( inspo’d plot )

         Love tried not to look embarassed at the fact she was sitting across from her ex that she left behind due to wanting ot become sucessful but funny how the tables have turned now she was the one that wasn’t so...great in life at the moment. “So...this is kind of awkward...who would have known, right?” 

[alaskawritcs]

OPEN STARTER ( inspo’d plot )

        “Wow, who would have known that you were so great at taking care of the mess,” Maya jokingly stated as she laid on the bed, the room was spinning and she was certain her parents would give her an earful tomorrow.

[alaskawritcs]

OPEN STARTER ( inspo’d plot )

          “I don’t know what you want from me, clearly I was using you, so get over it,” Esme muttered as she gripped the handle of her apartment door, it was honestly not supposed to turn out like this, she wasn’t supposed to catch any sort of attachments, she was Esme Maxwell and her pride was far bigger than the room itself. 

[alaskawritcs]

slowly working on replies, but i managed to finish one homework and I still have two art pieces I need to finish that is due tomorrow at 10 am plus my dog is constantly wanting attention so i’m sort of dying

[alaskawritcs]

shawnmdes‌:

         ❝  you can’t do that !! you can’t blame the reason we didn’t work out on lara … ‘cause i waited for years for you to come back ! you’re the one that fucked up .  ❞     bryce knew he was snapping a little , that his hurt was getting the best of him and the alcohol was consuming him . he knew that he was reacting because her words hurt him . of course he blamed himself for everything that had happened . in some ways he blamed only himself . he couldn’t get it out of his head that he wasn’t good enough for her , that he was too much , and that’s why she left . that’s why she had to run . that’s what it always boiled down to for bryce and he didn’t know how to shake that feeling . he didn’t know how to make it better or ease it . it didn’t matter what he said to himself , what haley’s father said , what his own daughter said , or even what haley herself said . he felt as though this would always be something that’d constantly be holding him under the water . he’d never be able to breath because he held onto things that hurt him . he didn’t know how to let things go . it really was a version of addiction . something he and haley knew all too much about . ⏤ closing his eyes when feeling her hand against his cheek , bryce wanted to lean into her touch but took a step back , shaking his head .     ❝  don’t … you don’t love me … everything about us , it was a joke and i was the punchline .  ❞

         Haley flinched back at his response, she wondered if one day she would ever fully forgive herself for what she did, would Bryce ever forgive her for what she has done to their marriage and family, leaving him behind to raise a newborn without her mother while she ran away thinking it would help. Maybe if she accepted counseling like her father suggested when she was a teenager, maybe she would have learned to deal with things in a healthy way, far better than what she did, they could have avoided all this heartache, this conversation altogether. How things would be different, she wouldn’t be pregnant and he wouldn’t be standing before her a drunken mess. Haley knew there wasn’t a way to change the past but to somehow tread forward instead of looking back on the past. “H-How could you say that, of course, I love you--none of it was a fuckin joke and--and god why do you have to be so fuckin stubborn,” She snapped, stepping forward to lightly push against his chest, frustration boiling in the pit of her stomach that she wanted to shake him and make him see the fact that she does, in fact, love him, out of their marriage, Lydia was the form of their love, no matter how sappy that sounded to her. “I love you so much it fuckin’ breaks me apart that I broke my promise to you.” 

[alaskawritcs]

cloudwalkxr‌:

This was a game that Tess knew all to well when it came to Maya. It wasn’t something that she was used to. Normally girls threw themselves at the international soccer player. She didn’t have to put so much work into a relationship like she had to with the brunette. Honestly, it wasn’t like she minded. She was supposed to be focusing on the upcoming Olympics. “Alcohol and sex.” Tess said bluntly, letting her lips form into a smirk. “You get to spend the entire night drinking with our friends and then do what ever you’d like to me in the bedroom.”

       Maya chuckled lightly at Tess suggestion on what she would get out of it, certainly, it sounded worthy enough for her to cave in, but being herself, she decided to play around and tug at her leg some more. “Hmm...sounds tempting or maybe I can get drunk and mess around with one of the guys, the one that’s been begging to get into my pants. Make some wishes come true and all.” 

[alaskawritcs]

shawnmdes‌:

        there was a sense of relief when hearing haley say that she missed him but it was quickly followed with more hurt and regret for showing up at her doorstep in the first place . he was honestly trying his hardest to keep himself together , he had been for so long but everything really was falling apart . he didn’t know how to stop himself from self-destructing anymore . everything he had done before didn’t seem to do anything . more than likely because of the fact that haley really would never be his again was ringing all too true now . she really did have the ability to be happy with someone else . to have a little family with them and to move on . all bryce would be to her anymore would be a distant memory and the father of one of her children . bryce couldn’t help but think about all the times they had together . she really was his only family for a big chunk of his life . he was alone for so long and then she came along and changed so much for him … now he truly felt all alone again . despite the fact that he had gained family in haley’s father and his daughter but there was still something missing for the male . it sounded selfish and ungrateful but there was this hole left in his chest and he didn’t know how to fill it . he didn’t know how to fix it .    ‟  you had to understand haley … i needed time … i had to do what i had to do to forgive you … i just never thought you’d give up … but i shouldn’t assumed , right ?? it’s not like you hadn’t gave up before .  „    he blurted the words out , his eyes falling to his feet before drifting back up to hers .    ‟  i just don’t see the point anymore … of trying to be someone i’m not … apparently changing or trying to be better or perfect … it sucks . hell ,  it wasn’t good enough for you .  „

        “What did you expect when I found out you were dating Lara? Wait around for you two to break up before I’m the one being the rebound? I wasn’t going to do that...I waited a whole year when I returned for you to realize I wasn’t going anywhere.” Haley ran her fingers through her hair in frustration, it always felt like this was the one thing they always landed back on when they discussed the what-if scenario. The brunette played a lot with the idea of how things should have happened which Spencer didn’t deserve for her to constantly being hung up on Bryce, it was hard when her heart was torn in two, one half loving Spencer and the other loving Bryce. The two people she really only loved in her life, the type of love that was consuming more so passionate. Maybe that was why Haley and Bryce burnt so fast, it was passionate and intoxicating that when she let her emotions get a hold of her, she ran, the one way she knew what to do considering her own mother abandoned her. Hearing him say those words about himself, Haley took a step forward and reached up to lightly place her hand on the side of his face, “Bryce...please don’t do this to yourself, I love you with my heart...you were good enough I just...you loved a broken person which you didn’t deserve. Hell I’m surprised you still do after all I’ve put you through, you had a great girlfriend who clearly loves you but I came along and fucked it all up. You should be upset with me.”