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alee-yan-nuh

And even after the war had ended,

I still carried it with me.

I had been injured,

just not in the way that someone could see—

physically.

alee-yan-nuh

you, thirdy & kylo — all ways; always

#Spotify

breaking up in your 30's really does hit hard, no?

almost 30

life is a bit different the past years still, here I am doubting. idk, the phrase, "what is the feeling of being left behind in the middle of something you never would have imagine" & the song, "before it sinks in" lingers in my mind every fucking minute.

i know I'm healed as far as I know but, everytime I feel like I am being betrayed again here comes the tears rushing one by one & it won't stop. it's sad you know. I don't know what I did or I don't know what do I need to do to stop this feelings.

Christmas is approaching yet here am I contemplating. Lord, you know if this one's not really meant for me please align my life. I don't want another heartbreak cos if it happens again I don't wanna live anymore :(

my safe place

it's been what? a year? two or three? idk. somehow, going back here feels like going back to my old self. this place holds the most vulnerable part of myself. my safest place. my go-to whenever life is so hard. so, here am I again, going back to where my heart feels at ease.

alee-yan-nuh

it was 3 freakin' years already since the day i step out to your house & left. the courage it took me to do it gave a whole lot different story. i just wanna say thank you Lord for letting me see & realize things that are clearly not for me. gonna celebrate this time of the year always to remind myself how strong and courageous I am.

alee-yan-nuh

it was 4 years ago last sept 10 & i never felt it. i can remember all the pain but, i'm okay now. all good. i wish you well and may you be always happy with the decision you made 4 years ago

GAAANO KA CLINGY BARKADA MO 🥲

feeling ko lang pumayat na ako hahahhahaha

December is fast approaching & i'm getting sad each and everyday idk y 🥲

been crying myself to sleep lately & it feels sad, so sad

just incase these people from ph are wondering how it feels to live abroad? this is how it feels like

that's my sister & been living in EU for almost 6yrs now

Kwento lang, saglit

Dati, I always pray na sana sa susunod na pagkakataon na magmamahal ako e yung totoo at sigurado. Tangna naman kasi sobra na yung trauma na naranasan ko tapos baka ending ganon na naman kaya natakot din ako. It took me almost 2 years to get into another relationship and truly long enough, God did answer all my prayers.

Mahigit 1 year pa lang kami but it feels like we've been together for a decade. I can sit comfortably in their house even when he is not around & the same as his. Habang andto ko sa dxb at nandon pa sya sa pinas he still looks for my family. He is there whenever na kailangan ng lola ko o papa ko ng something. He is there in every occasion na meron sa pamilya kahit na wala ako don. My heart just so happy na posible pala talaga no? Makakatagpo ka talaga ng taong totoo at sigurado sayo.

supladangmapagmahal

Papabor din saatin ang panahon.

dto na naman tayo sa anxiety phase natin haaayy 🥲 tapos na ako dto e, nakalaya na ako pero bakit andito ulit. minsan mapapatanong ka din kung worth it ba? pero wala naman tayo choice so kahit hindi, pilitin na lang natin maging worth it lahat. matatapos din to pero sa ngayon, dadamahin ko muna. hayaan ko muna sarili ko maging mahina. nakakalungkot, nakakaiyak di ko alam bakit?

it was 3 freakin' years already since the day i step out to your house & left. the courage it took me to do it gave a whole lot different story. i just wanna say thank you Lord for letting me see & realize things that are clearly not for me. gonna celebrate this time of the year always to remind myself how strong and courageous I am.

when i came here, nothing but pure luck. i hope someday in the next days i still survive. don't wanna lose the chance 🥲

it's a bit different than last year. oh BER months kinda missin' everyone & everthing in PH 🥲 been emotionally drained lately but, i'm okaaay. i'm okay

although it appears that i'm strong,

It still hurts

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