mihaly zichy ‘romantic encounter’ + these violent delights, micah nemerever
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@alekselliotwrites
mihaly zichy ‘romantic encounter’ + these violent delights, micah nemerever
you were my favorite person.
a.
i guess it's a little silly to still be living in the realm of untapped potential. one where when you said "i love you" you really meant it. but i guess even the make-believe is better than reality. we're still in love in my instagram memories.
a.
Fuck you @scotus
.
i used to feel sad
that you didn't let me in;
now i feel relieved
.
~ @pocketfullofpoesies , not my circus, not my monkeys
James Baldwin, Giovanni's Room
i remember reading the book you gave me, your favorite, in one night because i couldn't wait to talk to you about it.
i wish i loved anything else as much as i loved you.
"i wonder if we ever think of each other at the same time."
Maggie Nelson, Bluets
Rainer Maria Rilke, The Dark Interval: Letters on Loss, Grief, and Transformation
.
two people
stumbling around
sounds like a recipe for drowning
and disaster...
only we're not in the water...
we're actually on land!
walking together, hand in hand
.
~@pocketfullofpoesies , for my dear friend, @becoming--nobody
“I don’t know what living a balanced life feels like. When I am sad, I don’t cry, I pour. When I am happy, I don’t smile, I glow. When I am angry, I don’t yell, I burn. The good thing about feeling in extremes, is when I love, I give them wings. But perhaps that isn’t such a good thing, cause they always tend to leave and you should see me, when my heart is broken. I don’t grieve, I shatter.”
— Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey
“I don’t hold on to anything anymore. Pain comes at me and I take it, chew it for a few minutes, and spit it back out. It’s just not my thing anymore.”
— Dave Eggers, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
last call.
we found ourselves mingling with the after-hours crowd once again. beers flowing abundantly. cigarettes on chain. the owner wasn't having it this time so the party had to move elsewhere. a regular had a spot nearby and everyone gathered up their shit and braved the brisk walk in frigid chicago sub-zero temps.
everyone gathered in the kitchen, which was ironically the largest room in the apartment. maybe not ironic as it was typically where the best gatherings always ended up. more beers.
i was the newbie so everyone took their chance to introduce themselves and ask the obligatory, "how do you two know each other?"
"we're just friends." i smiled and waited for their reaction.
it was already so well-rehearsed like i had been practicing for this very moment my whole life.
i was probably the only one not indulging in the party favors making their way around. it was, after all, a week night and i was the only one with a 9-5 mingling with people who made a career out of fast cash and loose schedules.
it was his turn and this was one of many vices he never said 'no' to. everyone helpfully tapped at their pockets to find a credit card. he found his drivers license, dipped a corner into the white powder, made eye contact with me and mouthed "I'm sorry" as he inhaled deeply with one nostril.
romance wasn't dead.
a.
One day I will stop falling in love with you. Until I do, I'll be thinking of you.
k.b. // laufey, philharmonia orchestra - let you break my heart again
365 days.