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@alexcaverly-blog
if anyone still checks these blogs
it's pretty obvious now that we're not going to continue roleplaying here. if you want a rp recommendation, definitely take a look at WINTERLOCKED. It's super detailed and was created years ago by one person and she's totally amazing. OCs are accepted too. it's medieval and has magic so its pretty badass
You’re all I dream about. You’re all I want.
Bang Bang || Alex & Bella
bella-barnett:
Alex’s words broke Bella’s heart. Bella had been lucky enough to find someone like Hayley in this world, but she’d dealt with enough heartbreak to know that that feeling can really ruin you. She knows better than anyone else that sometimes, hearing “you’ll find someone” isn’t the best thing. Sometimes, people just need to know that they have someone, even if it’s not in the way they want someone. Support can mean a lot. People shouldn’t have to go through things alone, especially not people like Alex. Alex was everything. She was the girl who thought she was a unlovable and no one who loved her wanted to prove her wrong.
She took a step forward, reaching a hand out and gently lifting Alex’s chin up so they can meet eyes. She knew the action was intimate, so she let her hand drop after her first sentence. “You have a family.” Her hand fell away. “You have people who love you and care about you. Fuck anyone who left you. They don’t see what we see, and they don’t deserve you.” She smiled lightly, reassuringly. “And who knows, someday you might find the girl who won’t go. But for now, you have us. I know it hurts, but we’re here for you no matter what you do, or who you become.”
Although Bella's word did help her, Alex still didn't feel stable. She wouldn't for a while, and she knew that. The only other relationship she could compare her experiences to was the one she had with Iris, but this was different than that in too many ways. Iris was a liar, but it was more than that. She and Alex connected on a different level than she did with Rory; they only had chemistry, and from that chemistry, feelings grew, but the stems of their love were cut before they could fully blossom. It was different with Rory. They were interested in each other for more than just chemistry. It was more than longing looks and suggestive jokes, although there were plenty of them. They truly cared about each other, and their relationship was built on trust. From the moment Alex met Rory, she knew she could believe every word she said, even the ones she stuttered so cutely. Rory didn't seem like one to just run off like she did, and for a little bit Alex did wonder if she had been lost or bitten, but all of her stuff was gone. If something unexpected had happened to her, her stuff would still be where it was a week or two ago. Rory's disappearance was out-of-character for her, but maybe that just indicated Alex didn't really know her. Maybe she was a runner and she didn't notice it before.
Alex shouldn't have blamed herself, but, of course, she couldn't help but blame herself. She was infected and would eventually turn anyway. Only a year and a half had passed since the end of the world happened, and nobody knew for sure how long the human body could fight off the infection running through their veins. It wasn't uncommon to find corrupted people with black markings not unlike her own. Maybe they were just walking dead, soon-to-be monsters with no real purpose except to increase their power. To survive, they had to train and find new ways to kill. All of that training just made them stronger, and when the monster would finally emerge, the monster would have that strength. Alex wasn't possessed but maybe she was just a vessel or an incubator, nurturing the monster lying dormant inside, just waiting to hatch and wreak havoc on the dying world.
"Thank you," she said rather quietly, finally now looking into Bella's eyes. She felt more calm than before, and although tears were still rolling down her cheeks, she felt like she could smile if she tried. "I just thought she was it for me. It felt right."
Bang Bang || Alex & Bella
bella-barnett:
Bella leaned forward on the tip of her toes to look at Alex’s marks. Like Bella’s, they were growing, but she knew that there was a different feeling behind these ones growing. They were stretching over the entire back of her head, Bella could only wonder what it looked like on the rest of her body. The sight of it kind of unsettled her, but when she stood back on the balls of her feet and let Alex keep talking, she let her friend let it out, but nothing she said could change how Bella saw her. Hell, she could be possessed and insane and foaming at the mouth yelling in some weird unknown language and she’d probably still stand guard outside of her door and threaten anyone who tried to take her out or even go near her. Alex was family.
And that’s what she said. “Alex, they’re the marks. Everyone’s marks does something to them. It doesn’t mean you’re going to turn into something dangerous.” She paused, wondering if that was the right wording. She was trying to avoid the word “monster” in reference to Alex for good reason. “You’re killing the monsters, not joining them. You’re still you.” She shrugged a little. “Besides, you’re grieving. I don’t blame you for acting out.” She’d done it. Maybe not to this extent, but she’d done it. “It’s a human reaction.” She said, making a point of her use of the word “human”.
Alex stared at Bella's nose and mouth while she talked because she couldn't look her in the eye. She felt ashamed of what she was. Her kind were known for being bad, mischievous, and blood thirsty. And, also, people with black marks were kind of assholes. Eli had the same marks, and he was a dick ninety-seven percent of the time. He still had a heart, but monsters were never pure evil. Monsters had feelings and they cared about things, too. She had read enough books to know that much.
The mention of grieving just made Alex look completely away from her friend. She looked down at the ground. Being reminded of why she felt so angry in the first place didn't make her feel any better at all. She was quiet after Bella finished speaking; she was partly mulling over her words, but she was mostly just trying to hold back her tears as best she could. She licked her lips. "Why does everyone I love leave besides you?"
Bang Bang || Alex & Bella
bella-barnett:
Bella watched Alex in silence, waiting to see if she’d say anything. Instead she just started walking, and Bella followed. Bella’s arms were still across her chest, sort of holding herself in, and she walked slowly, keeping a bit of distance between them. Bella loved to be Alex’s support, but she knew that a lot of this had to be done on her own. The getting over it requires support, but she has to be ready to get over it. People who try to move on when they’re not ready just end up stuck in the water, wallowing around. Alex will find her way there, and Bella will do what she can to help her. She just wanted her friend to be okay. She can’t say she knows exactly what Alex is going through, but she gets the feeling. She’d been in a place like this before.
As she walked slowly and thought about this, Bella eyes fell on the ground and the mess that had been made. Not once did she think of Alex as anything other than Alex; not a monster, not broken, not anything but broken-hearted. Broken hearts could be healed. When Alex spoke, Bella looked up, her eyebrows furrowed but a sense of realization hiding behind her eyes. This went deeper than Rory leaving her. “What do you mean?” Bella asked quietly, stopping her walking to focus fully on Alex.Â
Alex really didn't want to talk about this, but it was too late now. She had opened her mouth and now she had to get it all out before she could close it again. Instead of talking, she stopped walking and pulled up her hair, revealing the skin on back of her neck. Black markings followed up her spine and then spread out, stretching over towards her ears and went upwards, disappearing behind her hair. Her scalp was even becoming covered in swirling, black marks. Alex figured it'd stop at her neck, but they were just continuing to grow, continuing to cover her humanity and infect her from the inside out.Â
"The more they grow, the more I change. You know I'm infected, and the infection is spreading." She let her hair fall and moved her hands to her pockets. She turned back around to face her friend. "Look around, Bella. A year ago, I would have thrown up if I had come across this. I made this mess. And it took me just a few minutes. It could have taken me just one minute if I hadn't wanted to drag it out."
Bang Bang || Alex & Bella
bella-barnett:
Bella nodded, her eyes following Alex’s. She couldn’t see a zombie from where she was, but there was definitely a few around. When she looked back at Alex, she caught a glimpse of the tears that were in Alex’s eyes, but her friend looked away, maybe to stop her from seeing them. She looked at her, struggling to control her face so Alex didn’t take the expression behind her eyes as pity. She was unable to hide her concern, though, of course she was. There was no way to hide that. Alex was covered in blood – some of it her own – and guts, but she still looked like a lost puppy.
“Sometimes the only thing that helps is letting yourself break so you can piece yourself together again,” Bella said, her shoulders moving up in a small shrug. Her movements were very subtle; casual, as though she was worried any big movements might set Alex off. She was worried that she’d fight her if she tried to comfort her, or she’d trigger a breakdown with her words, but maybe that was what Alex needed, though. Just to cry it out and have someone hold her. “We don’t have to go back inside. I’ll go with you where ever you want.”
Bella's words touched her heart because she knew just how true they were. Having a breakdown would help her get past this and cope, but she just didn't want to cry anymore. She had been through enough of this with Iris, and now Rory, the girl who she saw a real future with, was gone and she just wanted to scream and kick and get her back. But Rory was gone, and once people left, they almost never came back.Â
She turned and started walking with no place to go. She walked among the carnage she had made and saw only what she was becoming. It just made her eyes water more, and tears began to fall down her cheeks. She was quiet for a long few minutes, just listening to the wind and the sound of her footsteps mixing with Bella's. She wasn't worried about talking, but words formed in her mouth anyway. "Something's happening to me."
Bang Bang || Alex & Bella
bella-barnett:
Bella leaned her head against the door, her face scrunched because of the sunlight hitting her eyes. She was quiet for a few seconds before answering her. If Alex were anyone else, Bella would be scared of her. But this was Alex, and she trusted her with all her heart and refused to be scared of her. Maybe that was naive of her, but she didn’t care. She knew her, and no amount of damage or brokenness could change that.
Bella suspected that nothing she said right now would help, and it’d be best to just let her do her thing, but obviously she’d be right there when she did She knew better than to jump in and help with the fight, so she’d stand at the sidelines. “Sure,” she said, moving one of her hands up to move the hair out of her face then cross her arms again. “If you’re sure it’ll help, then yeah.”
As Alex stood there waiting for Bella's reply, she felt herself beginning to calm down, but, in all honesty, she didn't want to calm down. Calming down meant her bloodlust would dissipate and the sadness would set it. She knew it would eventually, but she wanted to postpone it as long as she possibly could. Killing zombies would do that, but she had to be in the right mood to continue, and that mood wasn't sticking around.
She glanced off in the direction the zombies came from but felt no desire to go there. "It won't. But I'm not going back inside." Tears began to well in her eyes again, so she looked down at the ground to keep Bella from seeing them. She didn't need to breakdown now.
Bang Bang || Alex & Bella
bella-barnett:
Bella opened her mouth to say something else, but before anything could come out, Alex was gone. Bella did a quick double-take and finally found her; she was outside, and she was fighting off the monsters that roamed there. Bella got the sense that this would be good for her – Alex needed this, and she needed to do it alone, but on the same note, this was Bella, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to just stand there and watch her through the window. So Bella walked out of the room, a bit more slowly this time, her arms crossed across her chest and her feet slugging against the ground. This sucked. All she wanted was to be able to take this kind of pain away from Alex. She was sure that all of what Alex was feeling was a mess of things, triggered by the break up, and although Bella can’t know exactly what she felt, she had a sense of it, and she wanted to be understanding and supportive.
That’s why she made her way outside. Alex was still fighting off monsters, but she didn’t butt in. She stood by the doorway, leaning against the frame of it, watching. Sort of a silent support, a protective and watchful eye. She’s dimly reminded of moments she felt anger like that, maybe not as severe as what Alex was feeling, or maybe it was. Whatever, she shouldn’t be thinking about herself right now. She focused on the fight unfolding in front of her, careful to watch what as going on, preparing to warn Alex against anything, but she was able to handle it. She’d still stand there just in case, half hidden by the door.
The wind started blowing, and Bella huffed her hair out of her face, eventually reaching up to move it out of her face when that didn’t actually work. She blinked hard a few times to get the hair out of her face, and because of that she missed the last few zombies being slaughtered. When there were no more zombies around, Bella tilted her head and stepped into the light, waiting for Alex to look her way and spot her; if she hadn’t before. She spoke up. “There’s no more around,” she said, glancing around herself for a moment. “Actually, there might be, but not here.”
Alex continued fighting the zombies one-by-one until she grew bored of slaughtering them. She used the shadows to pull the zombies into a group and to pull them towards her, surrounding her. She kicked and punched and screamed threats and tore them open as they lunged at her. The shadows danced around them, sometimes going inside of a zombie and tearing it apart, splattering guts everywhere. She reveled in it, in the bloodshed and the destruction.Â
It was over all too soon, and she finally looked up to see Bella standing there. Her words didn't make her feel any better. They just made her want to find those zombies and smear them all over the asphalt. She was breathing heavily as she shadow stepped to be closer to Bella. "Let's go find them, then," she suggested, or rather commanded. She didn't move, though. She knew Bella wouldn't leave her, so she had to be sure she was up for whatever Alex was going to do.
Bang Bang || Alex & Bella
bella-barnett:
Bella winced at the sound of Alex’s knuckle breaking. It broke her heart to see Alex like this. It was unlike she’d ever seen her. She was broken. However, Bella didn’t turn away. She had a protective nature over Alex and hated to see her hurt; she’d ump in front of anything for her and be hurt by anything for her; even Alex herself. She waited until Alex seemed distracted by something to approach her. Bella was careful, but the worry and panic was clear on her face. She moved quickly to step between Alex and the window. She spoke quietly.
"You’re bleeding," she said, her hands out in front of her, wanting to take Alex’s and heal her, but knowing not to just grab her out of the blue. Blood was dripping off Alex’s fists and it dimly reminded her of the last time she’d seen Alex’s blood. She’d never washed the clothes she’d worn after that; Alex’s blood had stained them, and she wouldn’t have worn them again, anyway. "Please, stop. You’re hurting yourself."
Alex looked right past Bella when the girl stepped in front of her. She was still looking out the window, watching the zombies shamble their way down the street. She hated them. She hated them more than anything at this particular moment, and she wanted to rip them apart, piece by piece. She wanted to be drenched in their black blood and reek of death. The markings on her skin slowly started to twist and move at just the thought of going down there and showing those zombies who was in charge.
"I know," she said when she finally spoke. Her eyes looked upon Bella's face, and she found concern, but Alex's features stayed stoic and the markings continued to move. She looked back out the window and pulled the shadows towards her, engulfing her in them and transporting herself outside to the zombies. She left Bella upstairs. There wasn't a need for her to come along. Alex needed to do this on her own. She grabbed the nearest zombie and punched it in the face, making the rest of the horde look at her. She wasn't worried about being overwhelmed or bitten. As long as they didn't eat her, she'd be fine. She was already infected, so bites did nothing to her. She was already a dead man walking.Â
It didn't take her very long to work her way through the group. Black spikes rose from the ground, impaling a few and leaving them to wave their arms towards Alex as if they'd actually get to her. The sight almost made her laugh. It was pathetic, really, struggling to reach something that was unattainable. It reminded Alex of herself. She tried so hard to be happy and to find someone that she could be happy with, but they all left her. They all were unattainable, and she was just the dumb dead girl struggling to chase after the living. The connection she made just managed to make her more angry, and she ran over to one of the impaled zombies and bashed its head into the side of the spike until its jaw fell off and its brains littered the ground.
Bang Bang || Alex & Bella
bella-barnett:
Bella had noticed Alex was acting weird - of course she noticed, she had barely left her side since the accident. The only thing she didn’t know was why. She hadn’t been close with Rory, so she’d barely noticed her absence, when Bella left Alex alone, she just assumed Rory was with her. It wasn’t until she talked to Faith and brought Rory up that her friend mentioned that Rory was gone. Confused, she’d looked at her friend with furrowed eyebrows, trying to make sense of it all; when she did, her eyes widened and she took off to go find Alex. Oh, crap. Her friend had been going through something pretty damn sucky and she hadn’t been there for her. She was mentally kicking herself – not to mention adding a footnote in her train of thought to kick Rory’s ass if they ever parted ways again. Worse than with Iris, probably.
She made her way to the room where she knew Alex would be. Once she arrived, the door was slightly ajar; enough for her to look in. She didn’t like what she saw – Alex throwing shit around, looking like she was going to kill someone – but she didn’t want to step in, maybe Alex should just ride this shit out, better than putting herself in the middle of it. That was her plan, and she’d become in to comfort her on the initial break after, but any plans or rationality flew out the window when Alex started hurting herself. Bella watched in shock for a few seconds, the sickening crunches filling her ears, before she finally swung the door open and stepped inside.
“Alex, Alex!” She said, panic and concern clear in her voice. She held her hands up like she was talking to a kid throwing a temper tantrum and didn’t want the kid to turn on her. “What are you doing?! You’re going to break your hand!”
The door swung open and smacked against the wall, and Alex looked up. Her fist with the broken and bloody fingers was out in front of her, but she didn't look like she was going to stop punching the wall. It was better to hurt herself than hurt Bella, and she definitely didn't want to do that, but she wasn't sure if she could control herself. Something was happening to her. All of her rage, about Rory and not, was building up and was making her feel like she was going to explode.Â
Bella's panicked words didn't help Alex at all, but they weren't meant to. They were meant to distract her, and they did their job for a short moment. She looked at Bella's face, at her panicked features and the worry in her eyes, but she ignored them, turning her attention back to the wall, and she punched it one last time, hearing a crunch as a knuckle broke. She let out an angry huff, turning away from Bella and walking towards the opposite wall. There was a window there and she looked out of it, seeing a small horde of about a dozen zombies shuffling by a neighboring building. Despite the pain in her fingers, both of her hands were still in tight fists. Blood was running down them and dripping onto the floor.
Bang Bang || Alex & Bella
Alex was sick of being in denial, but it just felt so good to be ignorant to the truth. It made her feel like everything was going to be okay, even though, underneath it all, she knew it wasn't. She was still in love with Rory, and she couldn't admit to herself that the girl had left her without even saying goodbye. They had shared a bed, and they both nursed each other when they were seriously injured, but apparently it didn't matter. None of it mattered now, because Rory was gone and Alex was yet again left alone.
Yeah, well, she was over it. Maybe. Not really. She'd never be over Rory, like she was never over Iris, but the latter was mostly because of anger and unanswered questions. Her relationship with Rory was much more healthy than her previous one, and that bit gave her hope, but the fact that she left Alex made all of that hope white noise. The only things she could focus on now were that she was alone and that she didn't get to say goodbye, and it pissed her off. Alex already had some rage issues developing because of her condition; this wasn't helping it. She needed to take her anger out on something like she did when she realized Mara had left her, but the area they were in was bare and the things that were there were already someone else's property. The only things she could destroy were her own, so that's what she went after.Â
She went into her own area and ripped up the material her and Rory had used for their makeshift bed. It was a waste, but Alex didn't care. She just wanted to rip something apart and get her anger out. It escalated from there, and she started throwing things, and she eventually threw her half empty bag at the wall and its contents came pouring out. The melted water bottle that was supposed to be a dragon's tail tip came skidding over to Alex's feet, and she looked down at it, her heart filling with sorrow and anger and want. She just wanted Rory back, even just for a moment, just to say goodbye and tell her how much their time together meant to Alex. She'd give her something to remember her by, just like Rory had, but she probably couldn't have made anything. She would have given the girl her gun and her bullets. She had plenty of bullets, and they'd probably last her until next summer if she used them sparingly. A gun would be the perfect gift because it would replace Alex; that's what she did for Rory, she protected her. A gun could do the same thing.
Staring down at the melted plastic, tears finally rolled down her cheeks and fell to the ground, and she felt her fists clench. She needed a better release. She needed to do more than just throw shit around. She needed blood. The easiest way for her to get it was to get it from herself, so that was what she did. She punched the concrete wall, feeling pain shoot up her hand and arm, and blood came seeping out of the gashes on her knuckles. She punched it again, this time the pain feeling more soothing than anything else, so she repeated her action again. And again. And again, until she could see three of her fingers were broken. But it wasn't enough.
harmony-or-melody:
[There’s still a scar where the girl was injured and it makes Melody wish there was more she could do, but it’s a thought she pushes aside, along with the thought that this is too similar to the kind of injury that had killed her sister, even when they’d had all kinds of technology at their disposal. Harmony offers a calming presence and Melody nods.] You’re welcome. You should try to be more careful. Motorcycles are dangerous. [There’s no scolding in her voice, only genuine concern because from the looks of it, the girl’s injury could very well have been fatal.]
Oh, I will, trust me. [She doesn't want to ride a motorcycle again anytime soon, and she thinks that she'll never get the chance. It's not like they find working vehicles often.] Um, could you heal my back now? [she asks, trying not to sound mean or anything, but she also is getting really sick of being bedridden and not being able to bend down or do anything that would potentially rip open her wound.]
wesleykelley:
You fucking idiot. [Is Wes’ immediate response before he lets the relief hit him that she’d just gone and impaled herself on a fence but she’s doing fine. His mood lightens considerably - although there’s sincerity to the joking. He’s relaxed enough that he walks closer to Alex, ready to drop himself down next to her and join is bedridden friend.] I’m gonna sound like some overly concerned old man - but motorcycles are dangerous, kid. And dumb. Don’t ride them. [He frowns at a sudden thought.] I didn’t peg Bella as someone who’d know how to ride a motorcycle.
[Wes calling her an idiot makes her smile go away, and she feels suddenly very guilty for what she's done. She's fine, though, and so is Bella, so she shouldn't feel too bad about this, but it is all her fault. If she had just paid more attention to the road, she wouldn't be wounded and Bella would still have her motorcycle. She listens to what Wes says next, but a smile never comes back.] Yeah, she knows how, but she doesn't have a motorcycle anymore so it doesn't really matter. You don't have to worry about me riding again. It's not like we'll find anyone one anyway.
rose-benedict:
{Rose takes the steps forward until she’s in front of Alex. Her eyes dart towards hers before she takes a look at her injuries. It looks like she’s already been healed, and that if she had not received that kid of help, she would have surely died.} You’ve been cleaning these out?
Hayley has, I think. [She watches Rose and Noah's faces to avoid looking down at her injuries.] I haven't touched them.
thefaithchronicles:
[Faith cups her hands together and rests her chin on top of them, her elbows on her legs. She flashes back to when she’d seen Bella carrying Alex.] Yeah. It took all of her effort, I thought she was going to collapse. [She stops, the conversation had taken a somewhat serious tone, and she doesn’t like that one bit.]Â
I can imagine. [That's all she really has to say about it. She doesn't want to think about how much she has put Bella through because she got distracted while driving. It's her fault they crashed, her fault she got hurt, and her fault Bella is still feeling the effects of healing Alex in the pond. This is all her fault.]
wesleykelley:
[Wes doesn’t immediately return the smile, not till he finds out what happened. She only gets a look shot her way when she lefts her shirt. Like a kid showing something they think is really amazing when in fact … it isn’t.] What’d you do to yourself, doll? [Wes steps further into the room, eyeing the bandage as though he’ll suddenly be able to see the injury through the white material.]
[When Wes doesn't smile back, Alex isn't surprised. She's always more optimistic about things when it comes to wounds.] I was driving Bella's motorcycle during a driving lesson and we hit some debris and crashed. [She lets go of her shirt but doesn't bother pulling it back down.] Fence pole went through me.
