The Zone

It's the word word , pass the herb

[alexisagangster]

I guess it’s time to grow up and work on myself .

I’ll update in a month or so

[alexisagangster]

The thing that hurts the most

I’ve changed so much of a person, yes I’m in debt but I honestly can say a apart of goes to not being able to afford a relationship and finding the way to make things happen . But another part is because of my stupid habits. But dude I stopped being the person I used to be . The old me was a bad person someone you didn’t want your daughter around but I changed all for her . But that wasn’t enough and I hate myself for it . I hate the fact that I fell so in love with her , I hate that I planned our whole lives together . I hate that I already had a plan for our kids , I hate that I had a saving account for our future. I hate that I thought so far ahead when this wasn’t gonna go there. Two and half years of my life just gone and over with . It’s the most heartbreaking moment ever and I’d do anything to change anything to make this better and still have the love of my life. Unfortunately I can’t no matter what I could do I can’t have her back . It’s my fault. It’s all my fuckin fault . Once again Alex you fuckin loser you didn’t do enough and lost it all. I hate my fuckin life why am I so toxic. She fell out of love with me .

[alexisagangster]

Depression begins in 3, 2 .....

[alexisagangster]

Day 3 of space: the end

She left me it’s over with, I no longer make her happy , I’m boring. Bye

[alexisagangster]

Day 3 of space

24 hours no messages , I finally text her today around 11:30 . Quick convo I ask how she’s doing she asks how I’m doing . I then ask her “ what’s going on with you , and us?” Her response was not right now I’m in class . This was 4 hours ago , I asked her to call me after she was done and she said ok. Now I’m freaking out scared that she’s either never gonna call me or call me and tell me she’s done with us . The wait continues

[alexisagangster]

Day two of the space

My girlfriend now has been on her second day of “space” I texted her earlier today but after I spoke to one of my coworkers and she gave me advice her advice was to give her room to breathe a solid 24 hours of no messages should be good for the both of you.

[alexisagangster]

Dear tumblr

So I keep thinking to myself i should talk to someone or maybe write out my issues somewhere ya know help me get it off my mind . So here we go first things first I’m such a fuck up , my priorities are so fucked up at 22 years old I expected things to be different but no instead I dropped out of school , still live on a college campus and work a 100 percent commission sales job. Doesn’t sound terrible but I work door to door about 75 hours a week to sometimes make barely 200 bucks. It’s actually mind blowing how I manage to survive sometimes but with some of my extracurricular activities comes some extra cash. I’m also in debt because I push everything off instead of paying things right then and there. I mostly use my money to live this life that is way above my means. I love my girlfriend but I’m pretty sure she fuckin hates me , we’ve been in each other’s lives/ dating for over 2 years and I finally think she hates me. After everything was going well she randomly started talking about houses and our future . One thing led to another and a misunderstanding turned into me getting my asshole ripped and her telling me everything that I needed to fix in my life , she then gave me a deadline to fix things in my life if by that date I didn’t she would no longer stay with me . I thought everything was fine between she loved her Christmas gift which I spent so much money on, she loved our date that night . I literally overdrew my bank account to take her to dinner and make sure she was happy . Everything seemed great , we even hung out again a couple of days after . Let me stop real quick and explain my girl is a year and some change younger and goes home for winter break in between semesters so we see each other a little less but we regurlalrly live a bout a block from each other . But yea last time we hung out she was awesome we had sex 3 times in a couple of hours and we were really psionate. Later in the week because of my shittt job I was busy so I didn’t have much time to really talk to her and the time that I did have at home after being at the job for 13-14 hours. I would hang around and smoke pot with my buddies . This weekend she goes to New York with her friends prior to going to New York everything is fine between us and she’s pretty good on communication . When she gets there her texting becomes insanely scattered and the only responses come from my FaceTime calls. She then tells me I’m overreacting which I say ok to . But like god damn dude 4 hours is way too long for you to get ready . She was also in new yoke with chicks I don’t trust. Whatever the night goes by and she still has scattered texts to me , and I pass out and she FaceTimes while I’m sleeping .. I call her the next morning and she doesn’t seem happy to see me , but whatever tells me that she’ll call me when she leaves . Doesn’t do that but whatever . Then she gets back and I find this out because my best friend dates one of the girls who was on the trip . I text her she goes I’m in the car , which is a lie then I tell her that I know she’s lying and that I’m coming over and we need to talk . The conversation doesn’t go to great and I find out that she was hitting up some promoter to get her into the club which I didn’t appreciate and it pretty much pissed me offf . But I avoided yelling at her instead I just left and said that she wouldn’t like this treatment coming from me . I texted her and she said she didn’t like how I wasn’t trusting her and I said look at the circumstances but look I’ll trust because I love you . She then told me that she wanted some space to clear her mind and that she wanted to spend the night alone . Which concerned me but because I’m understanding I said ok I’m here for you if you need anything . She’s very adamant about not being with me . I think it’s over finally . I think she officially hates me .

[letslivethetrippylife]

~~FOLLOW ME TO TRIP~~

[spliffx]

here’s the hit that just killed me RIP 💀

[alexisagangster]

Holy fucking shit this is innovation

[fuchsia-diamonds]

https://soundcloud.com/iamtchami/after-life-feat-stacy-barthe-jauz-remix

[odeathgodxo]

(~ Tchami ~)

[alexisagangster]

"Bare is the back of a brother less man " love my brothers happy to finally be a brother of the alpha phi delta fraternity. Omega niggas holdin it down #alphaphidelta

[alexisagangster]

Kid took me to hell and back, mad love for my brother Julio man #ΑΦΔ

[alexisagangster]

Can't believe it's been almost two months since I became a brother of the greatest fraternity #ΑΦΔ

[alexisagangster]

Happy to la marina one of the many people I'm glad to have met at lasalle. Never stop grooving ma. Throwback to pledge days and the grab a date (at La Salle University)

[alexisagangster]

Safe to say these are my fuckin boys #oozmakappafraternity #ΑΦΔ #ΣΦΛ (at La Salle University)

[alexisagangster]

Pledge class chillin #omega #ΑΦΔ (at La Salle University)