we live by the sun, love by the moon. @alightsleeper-heavydreamer - Tumblr Blog

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you treat them like they have a heart like yours but not everyone can be as soft and as tender you don’t see the person they are you see the person they have the potential to be you give and give till they pull everything out of you and leave you empty

rupi kaur (via books-n-med)

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When people pass away in my life, I always have dreams of them for a few months after they've gone. The dreams are vivid and meaningful. Sometimes I can tell what they mean right away, other times it takes a while or speaking to others to understand it. I've recently dreamt of my Nonno, for the 4th time I believe. I stopped by his house, and the door was open. I had not been to the house since his passing. I walk in and notice some furniture is missing. I can hear someone is upstairs, so I walk up and from half way up I can see my Nonno. He says "Hi Bella" in the same way he always did, and he was moving a couch out. Full of energy and happy. But every time I see someone who I know is dead in my dreams, I get scared, so I ran out of the house. By the back of the house was my cousin, and I said to her something along the lines of "it just keeps getting harder", and we stood there for a moment. As I was leaving along the side of the house, I can see him again from a window, looking down at me, stoic. I keep walking and leave the house. I wake up crying and a little scared. Later that day when I got home (I was in Niagara), I explain the dream to my mom. She tells me that my Zio had come by the night before to speak about selling the house, as they've been unsure what to do about it for months now. I felt like my dream was in a way my Nonno telling us that's it's ok. He seemed happy to move, and that he will understand our decision, as hard as it will be.

the-universe-is-a-work-of-a-blog

I don’t understand the negative thoughts… where they come from, why, or how to stop them. So I just let them happen. But then the negative spiral starts and they get worse and I have down days, bad dreams, trouble sleeping. I know the winter brings on sadness always, but at least I am doing a bit better this year than previous years. I want to be positive, confident, feel secure? I don’t know. I’m trying.

I feel like I can somewhat control my sleep paralysis now. A few mornings ago, I decided to purposely lay on my back and try to fall into it - and I did. I tried not to be afraid of it and just let it happen. But that's the hard part. I still panic and struggle to get up, I feel the negative presence. On another night, as it was happening I felt a new awareness of it. I knew that I was experiencing it, but I felt as though I was in a different world. Everything around me seemed like the room I knew I was in - but it also felt empty... hollow? I was somewhere else. But I couldn't control anything just yet. That's what I'm trying to work on.

Don’t be afraid to get back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again. Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart. Life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t. When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best.

Life runs in cycles. The wheel never stops turning. No matter how dark the night, morning comes. No matter how cold the weather, spring comes. When you feel despair know that the wheel is turning. Joy will come.

If there is truly nothing you can do to change your here and now, and you can’t remove yourself from the situation, then accept your here and now totally by dropping all inner resistance. The false, unhappy self that loves feeling miserable, resentful, or sorry for itself can no longer survive. This is called surrender. Surrender is not weakness. There is great strength in it. Only a surrendered person has spiritual power. Through surrender, you will be free internally if the situation.

my moon & my stars | http://www.melissaaquinophoto.com

To die tomorrow was no worse than dying on any other day. Every day was there to be lived or to mark one's departure from this world.

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Sometimes keeping up to date with the news is overwhelming. Recently there’s been so much death, so many vehicle accidents. I keep thinking about what it’s like to just be just sitting in my car, with someone next to me… just chatting, going about our day. Not knowing that a transport truck is speeding along, doesn’t see traffic has slowed down, and slams right into a bunch of cars. In an instant, you’re crushed. Dead. That’s it. No stopping it. A simple action of paying attention while driving could’ve stopped that truck, as you’re supposed to do while driving. Pay attention. That’s all. Who were those people? Why did they have to die like that? What is the lesson, the purpose? I’m sure there’s many. But right now… I just don’t understand it.

Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.

O Gertrude, Gertrude, When sorrows come, they come not single spies But in battalions.

Hamlet: Act 4, Scene 5

Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It's because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, their own mind. They are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.

May 20 2015 | spring at high park.

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we live by the sun, love by the moon.