"Myles?" Oliver appears in the middle of the hallway, shuddering even as the thick cloying air passes right through him. He was never a big fan of rot and decay and thanked his lucky stars that he's never had to deal with it as a phantom.
He peers into the dark to see if he can catch a glimpse of movement, whether from the owner of the Office or their newest hostage.
"O l i v e r ."
Oliver jumps and spins around. A shadow stands near the wall, eyeing him. The figure's dark shoulder length hair hangs in its face, though not covering those glowing green eyes. Several of the mushrooms sprouting out of their flesh emitted the same soft glow.
"Myles!" Oliver is relieved they came sooner than later. "Hey. Uh....I'm here because-"
"The human, I take it."
"Yes. They want him back. The troll threatened to burn-"
Myles steps forward and holds up their hands, blackened by what looked like ash. Clearly things have already escalated earlier.
Oliver winces.
"If they want a war, they will get one. The human I found is m i n e. He wandered into my domains enough times. He's been put to good use growing our spores. Soon he won't be recognizable as human, anymore."
"Myles, they won't like that. They'll come here looking for Daniel and I know they have greater numbers than you. And fire." Oliver tries to reason desperately. He can already see the escalation.
"Let them come. I will turn every last one of them into c o l o n i e s ."
"But the humans-"
"Why do you keep calling them 'the humans'?" A new voice chimes in.
Oliver yelps and flickers, startled again. Myles simply glances at the third person standing before them with little surprise.
The newcomer is tall, with a shaved head bleached white and several facial piercings. Her uniform sprouts the same #432 badge as the rest of them, except hers is doodled on with sharpie.
She looks between her colleagues, grinning. "Seriously. We were all humans once too."
"'Were' and 'once' being the keywords." Myles says coolly.
"Hey Zee. What are you doing here?"
"I'm here because someone took my only good weed supplier hostage." Zee turns and fixes the rotten 432 a pointed look. "Myles. Sweetie. Do you know what will happen if you get rid of the Office's biggest drug dealer?"
Myles eyes flick over to Oliver, who just shrugs.
"....what?"
"You will be run over by more Stanleys, Narrators, gods, aliens and everything in between than you've ever seen, all of them demanding to know why they can no longer get their party supplies." Zee pokes a painted fingernail right into one of the mushrooms on Myles' shoulder. It releases a spore cloud as it gets punctured and Myles pulls back, disgruntled. "And I'll be right there with them, because Daniel is the only one who has both good and cheap weed."
"Even if I released the human, he is not able to go back to-"
"Nuh uh. No excuses. You fix him as much as possible and you give him back to the people who want him, you hear me?"
"Please, Myles." Oliver adds, giving them a small hopeful smile.
They let out a deep sigh, resulting in another spore cloud billowing from their lips and into the air.
supervisor at work desperately wants me to try her herbal mushroom coffee and I looked at the insert and it has cordyceps in it ‘for stamina’ and don’t get me wrong I’m sure it’s a normal edible non-parasitic variety but there IS a little part of me that’s like. oh so that’s what they’re calling it now
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