Nicely tousled

sideblog: Luca Marinelli and The Old Guard

[strangehighs-archive]

the team + bloodied faces

[all-n-more]

[all-n-more]

[hakasims]

The Most Important Review of Every Single Luca Marinelli Film

Listen, I’m not here to tell you if a movie’s plot is well-structured or whatever, ok? I’m here for objective, factual data on how Luca Marinelli’s brand is adhered to in every movie he’s been in so far.

(all gifs by @weardes​)

La solitudine dei numeri primi (2010)

Does Luca smoke? No.

Does Luca sing? No.

Does Luca eat? No.

Does Luca get slapped? No. His life is hard enough as it is.

Is Luca naked? He’s wearing speedos in one scene, but he’s covered in s*lf-h*rm marks, it’s very sad and not sexy at all.

Is Luca gay? Hell if I know.

Is Luca a slut? He talks to like two people in the whole movie.

Lucameter: 2/100 pathetic (but like I get it it’s his first movie w/e)

L'ultimo terrestre (2011)

Does Luca smoke? Yes.

Does Luca sing? No, but Roberta is a captivating dancer.

Does Luca eat? No, though she takes a shot once.

Does Luca get slapped? Yes, but not in a fun way :(

Is Luca naked? No, but there are some thighs and belly with a mini skirt in between. No complaints.

Is Luca gay? Not enough data.

Is Luca a slut? No.

Lucameter: 1/100 horrible, Roberta deserved better

Waves (2011)

Does Luca smoke? No.

Does Luca sing? Yes, drunkenly!

Does Luca eat? They just won’t let him put food into his mouth! Watching Gabriele trying and failing to eat is Hitchcock-level suspense, though it all comes to a very satisfying conclusion when the camera isn’t focusing on him for a second, and he friggin’ inhales the food off the table.

Does Luca get slapped? No, but he gets pushed around a lot.

Is Luca naked? No, but he does take off his shirt a couple of times. Also his legs are like completely hairless?? Has anyone ever noticed that? They shaved his legs!

Is Luca gay? No proof that he is, no proof that he isn’t.

Is Luca a slut? No, he is the sweetest purest cinnamon roll.

Lucameter: 37/100 it’s getting better

Seguir leyendo

[alkaysanie]

i love tog fandom artists so much honestly my heart would be cold and dead without them!!!! if you make art for the old guard then thank you so much for your service to me and my mental wellbeing, i love you so much 💖

[alkaysanie]

[luminarai]

local cat dad overcome with love (for the seventh time this week, probably)

so not done with the adventures of fettuccine the cat! also people getting prayer mats for their cats is actually a thing and i highly recommend looking it up if you need a serotonin boost

[all-n-more]

I only had Roberta for a day and a half but if anything happened to her I would kill everyone in this room and then myself

[amphibily]

i too am deeply in love with mr yusuf al kaysani

[kaysanovathoughts]

we talk about how nicky has Maximum Italian Tenderness when talking about finding nile (“she’s scared, and she is more alone than she has ever been in her entire life”) but. i have seen no one talking about the absolute incredible softness that is in his voice in the malta scene when he tells joe “as much as i like watching you sleep, i’m glad you’re awake.”

like. like. that is the softest, tenderest, most in love voice i have ever heard and pair it with his literal heart eyes towards joe when he says it - not to mention the big smile and lovely snort (the only full smile nicky has in the movie) afterwards when joe asks “bedhead?” - god it just makes my heart swell with so much love for them

[nicolodigenovas]

I feel that we don’t talk enough about how funny Joe is. He is the one who throws the sarcastic lines that make you smile even when the situation is not great (“One has to appreciate Mr.Copley’s attention to details, the shoes were a particularly grotesque touch.” is my favourite underrated gem). They’re always delivered without bitterness, with eyes full of fondness when they’re directed to one of the family. You can imagine him softly teasing Nicky or Andy, Booker while they’re watching soccer together. One day they’re all waiting for the right moment to enter a building, it’s raining so much they can barely see in front of them and Yusuf says: “I bet you wished you had my amazing cap right now.”

Joe is soft and caring, but he is also funny and he has a dry, witty humour that I’m sure makes everyone’s life better on a daily basis. We love you so much Joe

[all-n-more]

Oh no oh no oh no no no

[strangehighs-archive]

nicky’s barely there smiles

+ the only full laugh

[luminarai]

nile, looking out the window: ….why are booker and joe on the ground? andy: booker probably hit himself in the head with a football nicky: again

[holllanov]

that ultra-kind of love you never walk away from

[luminarai]

LET 👏 JOE 👏 BE 👏 SOFT 👏 
I was messing about with some new brushes when I remembered this ask someone sent me but it’s gone from my inbox now?? anyway thanks to the stranger who inspired these quick lil drawings

[cantteachanoldguardnewquotes]

Nicky: Can you do me a favor?

Joe: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene and take the blame for you.

Nicky: Cool. Can you do the dishes?

Joe: No.