To the only person who ever made me dance,
I was happy. Genuinely happy. And I think that’s something I’ll always be grateful for. For a moment in time, I experienced something soft and real. And that means it wasn’t wasted.
This whole experience taught me a lot about myself. It reminded me that I’m full of love, and that life is really just a collection of moments and people we meet along the way. Some stay, some don’t. But that doesn’t mean those moments meant nothing.
It also reminded me that I shouldn’t have to change who I am just to fit into someone else’s needs.
The things I do for the people I care about… the way I show up, the way I give, the way I try… that’s not something I do for a specific person. That’s just who I am.
And I know that whoever I love in the future will receive that same kind of care, because it’s simply part of me. It’s something I refuse to lose.
I think what hurt the most was realizing that some of the things he did might have come from obligation. Maybe he didn’t want to hurt me. Maybe he felt like he had to try. But I never wanted that. I never wanted someone to stay out of kindness or guilt. I wanted someone who stayed because their heart was fully there.
Still… I think this might be the cleanest ending I’ve ever experienced. No cruelty, no chaos. Just two people who tried, who respected each other, and who eventually had to admit that something important wasn’t quite there.
And somehow, that taught me something too. I can be brave. I don’t have to change myself to be loved. Somewhere out there is someone who will see me exactly as I am and appreciate the way I care, the way I give, the way I love. And if it’s not you, then it will be someone else.
For now, I think I’ll take my time. Maybe a long break from dating. I want to focus on myself for a while, because I’m starting to notice patterns in the way I hold on. I can feel it when someone begins to detach, and yet I stay. I wait. I try to fight for something because I’m the type of person who sees the good in people and believes things can work if we try hard enough. Maybe that makes modern dating a little harder for me.
But I’m starting to believe that it’s not a flaw. It’s just the way my heart is built. This isn’t me giving up on love. Maybe it’s just me deciding that love isn’t my priority right now.
Because love isn’t only found in romance. It’s everywhere… in friends, in family, in strangers, in a cozy sunday morning, in games, in books, in quiet moments, in small days that pass gently.
And when the right person eventually appears, I know the love inside me will still be there.
I’ll just turn it on again.
