Rosh HaShana - A time of change
[While this blog is normally pregnancy related, it is also a medium in which I feel comfortable to express my feelings to a select group of people with relative ease. As a result I think it's an appropriate forum for the letter below.]
Dear Wife, Family and Friends,
Every few years I feel compelled to write a Rosh HaShana letter. This is not a regular exercise as I don’t see a need to harp on unless there is some sort of inspiration. Well I am pretty inspired at the moment so, dear reader, you are about to get a megillah.
The year 5772 has been a remarkable one indeed and the theme for this year has been one of change. My life has transformed and along with it, my relationships with those people close to me. A year ago today, I was a few months away from being a married man. Today I have a beautiful wife who has helped me make a great home which I hope (bar the flying cat) makes people feel welcome.
In a few months’ time, we are going to be parents. The baby is kicking frequently and we are both using all free resources to prepare for the arrival of our child, please God, early next year. This is one of those changes that you feel you are never going to be ready to make but the second you find out you are going to be a father, nature kind of takes over. Reflecting on the past year, I have gone from being a 26 year old child to a (nearly) 27 year old adult who is preparing to take on the most important task of his life.
Tali, our roles are always changing; we went from friends, to partners, to soul mates, to husband and wife. While things are not always easy, I feel like every day we go through those roles over and over. Our relationship is never static and that is what makes it work. I could not ask for a more loving, dedicated and beautiful wife. You are a true Eshet Chayil, often going beyond the call of duty to make sure everyone is happy (and fed). Your work ethic is second to none and I often forget that you are 24 years old. You are truly remarkable. I wish you the smoothest and healthiest of pregnancies and know that you are going to be a wonderful mommy - provided that we work on the strange names that you keep coming up with. I love you eternally!
To my parents, as a teenager I always used to wonder “when will my parents ever understand me”. I can now see that it was me who needed to understand you. As I continue to mature and grow as an independent adult, I appreciate more and more what you have done for me and for our family. I feel like our relationship has changed; while I am and always will be your son, I feel like we are also becoming great friends. Our Shabbatot together are always interesting and these days I find myself wanting to stay after dinner as long as possible in contrast to the teenage boy who used to want to rush out and be with the crowd. Your love for each other has always overflowed into all aspects of your life and I don’t think anybody could deny that. Your generosity and eagerness to help us is inspirational, may your love continue to be a guiding light to Tali and I and I can only hope that we can set the same example to our children.
To my sister, Tarney, you are the one constant in my life. Without doing much, you have always helped me to understand how to appreciate what one has, no matter what. While everything changes around me and my life transforms, Tarney is there to remind me what my roots are. The relationship that you and I have is unique and I am not sure anybody understands it or ever will. I prefer it that way. Keep on rolling…
To my in-laws, Charlie, Deidre, Michal and Aviv, while we are far apart, I know that not a day goes by when you are not in our thoughts. Having you here to celebrate our wedding was wonderful and the more time we spend together, the more our family dynamic grows. Charlie and Deidre, I am looking forward to spending more time with you in the next year. I know that when you come and stay with us after the baby is born, we will have done you proud. Michal and Aviv, I have watched you grow from little shits into big shits. Michal, I am glad that you are having a great time in University, finding your adult identity and branching out. Remember where your home is. Aviv, you have grown into an astute and talented young man. No homo, stop hanging out in the friendzone!
Extended family, near and far, your influence in our lives cannot be questioned. Thank you for the positive thoughts, the advice and the love shown whether we are sitting in the same room, having a conversation on Google Talk or an email every so often.
To my friends, I have said this many times before, but it bears repeating. I am blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. I would love to write about each individual person but God has blessed me with so many of you and not a single publisher or book deal. You are just as much family as those I was born and married into. We have all grown so much, many of us settling down, getting married, having children. I will always appreciate our dinners, nights at the beach, Shabbat luncheons, snobby barbecues and random nights of drunken stupidity. From sitting on a balcony until 3am talking nonsense to 12 straight hours of network games to a dream trip to Manchester, we really know how to have a good time.
In times of sadness, we band together to support each other, three of our grandparents passed away this summer. I know when it was my grandmother, your support and love made things easier for my father and I and I will always be indebted for that. No matter how hard things can be in this beautiful country of ours, I know I will never find a community like we have established. Now we just have to get that dinner horse we keep speaking about so that we can serve the goat/lamb/fish on the spit that we also keep speaking about. Who’s up for a trip to the North?
So what more can I ask for? I have a wonderful home, a blossoming career, a bun in the oven, a loving wife, a wonderful extended family and friends who transcend all adjectives. I can only ask for more of the same for all of us. May we all be blessed in this new year with health, happiness, love and positive changes which shape us and help us grow into better people.
Shana Tova and Gmar Chatima Tova to all.
