#1 shamura apologist

That's "alllgator" with 3 L's, cause all I take is L's They/them | Adult | CEO of Shamura

[alllgator-blood]

HEY WHAT'S UP I'm River and I draw funny cartoon cult leaders who endure psychological horrors beyond mortal comprehension. This blog is meant to be 16+ and frequently features blood, gore, death, various depictions of mental illness, abuse and the like- so read my content warning tags in case you need a heads up! But generally I focus on comfort and growth as much as pain, so don't expect to see stuff solely made for shock value on this blog.

I have a Ko-Fi account if you feel like leaving a tip or ordering a commission!

I don't mind my art being studied/traced/reposted as long as I'm credited, just plEEAASEE don't use my stuff for AI image generation or chatbots. I do not consent to having my art/writing sucked into a digital abyss and merged with the work of countless others :(

ANYWAY. Click the "read more" to get links to all of my comics:

My comics in chronological order!

I name every comic after song lyrics, but the song rarely has anything to do with the actual comic, felt the need to link them anyway though

'IT'S JUST A BURNING MEMORY'

A short while after the schism happened, Leshy starts to become frustrated with how Kallamar and Heket seem to be hiding Shamura from him. They try to convince him that Shamura isn't ready for visitors, but he slips past their defenses and goes to visit Shamura himself...only to realize his oldest sibling doesn't seem to remember him.

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5)

(title is from Heartaches by Al Bowlly)

'THE UNPAYABLE DEBT THAT I OWE YOU'

Kallamar hasn't gotten a break from their duties for quite some time, and figures they've done enough good deeds for the family to earn a day off. But as more responsibilities pile up, more of the family gets hurt, more research needs to get done, Kall realizes they maybe won't ever catch a break.

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5)

(title is from Kettering by The Antlers)

'IN LITTLE WAYS, EVERYTHING STAYS'

Leshy is having a good time on his way to a checkup, but accidentally sees his reflection for the first time since his eyes were removed. He ends up talking to Kallamar about it, and the two have a discussion about what it means to feel like a replica of the person you once were rather than the same person.

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3)

(title is from Everything Stays sung by Olivia Olson)

'FOGGY STREETS AND CHRISTMAS LIGHTS'

Leshy throws a Yule party after many years of the family not celebrating it, but it's not really as joyful as any of the siblings hoped it'd be. Heket is drinking a lot, Kallamar is wearing their iconic fake smile, and Shamura is physically present but mentally absent. Leshy, trying to stave off a meltdown, starts to play a song that ends up being familiar to the entire family.

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3)

(title is from Classic J Dies And Goes To Hell by Glass Beach)

'TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE'

The party is winding down. Shamura is tired, Heket and Leshy are rowdy, and Kallamar decides to put his sibling to bed in the guest room. But while Shamura seems happy and fairly lucid, the conversation turns dark quickly as they ask Kallamar to promise them something.

(full comic)

(title is from Take Me Somewhere Nice by Mogwai)

'YOU AIN'T AS YOUNG AS YOU USED TO BE'

After Kallamar was found unconscious on their bedroom floor, they decided from that point on that rest + relaxation were mandatory for the entire family. Heket begrudgingly agrees to take it easy for a single day to appease her sibling, but only then remembers why she wouldn't allow herself rest. Plagued by visions of Shamura's atrophying body, she returns to Anura and tries to work like normal, quickly realizing her own body isn't holding together well either.

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (THIS ONE'S UNFINISHED, I didn't like the original ending so I'll get back to it someday!! Part 4 is pretty much complete I just haven't posted it yet)

(title is from It Might Be Time by Tame Impala)

'I WENT BACK AND WISHED I HADN'T'

Shamura, suddenly remembering a promise they made to Narinder many thousands of years ago, begins to look for him in the temple to finish a game of hide-and-seek. They grow increasingly confused as they struggle to find him, but swear they caught a glimpse of him when they walked in...

(part 1) (part 2)

(title is from The Moon by The Microphones)

'YOU'RE ALL I NEED'

After Shamura's breakdown over not remembering why Narinder is gone, Kallamar checks on them and is hurt by them accidentally. Heket happens to come by right as Kall is trying to leave, and the three simultaneously grapple with the memory of the schism in different ways. But despite the tension in the temple and the two most composed bishops being mentally incapacitated, Heket pulls it together long enough to help Kallamar out of a dissociative episode.

(part 1) (part 2)

(title is from All I Need by Radiohead)

'HAVE TO ACT LIKE IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME'

Leshy noticed Heket hasn't been doing so well lately, and decides to bring her a little gift to perk her up- a plump cut of meat harvested from his most loyal acolyte. But as he approaches the temple, he hears her scolding who he can only assume to be Kallamar, using vicious language he's never heard his sister utter before. And as he goes to investigate, he quickly realizes things are worse than he imagined.

(part 1) (part 2)

(title is from BOTHERED by LustSickPuppy)

'THE PRICE WE PAID TO KNOW YOU'

Shamura just had a seemingly successful day of physical therapy, finally being deemed well enough to not need to live in the hospital anymore. Of course, just as Heket tries to depart and call it a day, Shamura experiences a sudden burst of lucidity Heket hadn't bore witness to just yet...and she realizes something she'd been willingly ignoring for the past millennia.

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

(title is from Dagger by Mastodon)

'DID YOU GET ENOUGH LOVE, MY LITTLE DOVE?'

Narinder and Kallamar are practicing summoning their crown weapons when Narinder accidentally damages some of Shamura's artwork with his scythe. Instead of telling the truth, he notices Kallamar goes into shutdown mode and instead blames him to avoid whatever punishment lays in store for whoever desecrated Shamura's handiwork. The lie is quickly discovered, and his older sibling decides it's time for a heart-to-heart about what unconditional love is.

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7) (part 8) (part 9 coming sooooon)

(title is from Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens)

'KIDS THAT I ONCE KNEW'

In the Lamb's cult, they and Leshy are kept awake by a screaming baby caterpillar who can't seem to be sated. They get into an argument with him, wandering off and not realizing until it's too late that the ex-god of war has managed to make off with the baby...and seems to find that it looks very familiar to them.

(full comic)

(title is from Dead Hearts by Stars)

sorry for the cringe song choice, I found it from a warrior cats amv when I was like 13 and couldn't find a better song lyric for the title

'WE COULD BE HAPPY, YOU AND ME'

After a pretty average day in the Lamb's cult, the Lamb winds down and starts going over everything they've accomplished thus far. Shamura wanders in and seems to be talking crazy, as usual, but asks a simple question that begins to break the Lamb down quicker than any threat or attack ever has: "are you okay?"

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3)

(title is from Apple Pie by The Scary Jokes)

'WHEN THE END COMES, YOU'LL SEE'

Life in the cult is perfect. Everyone's wounds are healed, the family is all back together, and new bonds have been formed...so Lamb is on a quest to find out why it is that Kallamar seems to be more miserable than ever.

(part 1) [ONGOING]

(Title is from Wild West by Gregory and the Hawk)

ASSORTED RANDOM COMICS THAT ARE UNTITLED BUT ARE STILL PLOT RELEVANT:

The very first angst comic I ever did, about that "five becomes four becomes..." dialogue shamura has

The shamura-explains-their-gender comic

Two-panel comic about shamura telling the younger sibs a story, and then being told the same story in the future

Comic about heket someday being strong enough to carry shamura

Comic where the lamb abuses the shit out of the bishops in the cult, but gives shamura a break for some inexplicable reason

Comic where Narinder gives his siblings a little gift as reparations for his fucking war crimes against them

[alllgator-blood]

PLUSH SHIPPING UPDATE

I'm just gonna make this a post so I don't have to DM ten different people the same information- I shipped your packages out on the 5th using USPS ground advantage, but the people I gave tracking numbers to reported the numbers not working?? Been trying to figure it out so I don't disappoint people with bogus numbers but idfk what happened

I can see it on my end when I'm logged into the USPS website but I can't when I'm logged out, I don't know if I selected a wrong option during payment but I'm apparently the only one that can see the shipping updates. The packages should be arriving on monday, a lot of them are in their destination states already. If anyone knows what I did wrong please tell me :')))

If you ordered something from me and want a tracking update, plz DM me + include the state the package is being sent to, and I'll show you the screenshot of what I see on my end!! I'm not planning on putting anything else up for sale until I make sure this batch arrives safely...I did take a photo before taping up the boxes because they took up my whole bed and I thought it was funny (buyer usernames blacked out just in case idk)

but once that's figured out....I have not forgotten about narinder, I found this awesome super-soft super expensive black faux fur on clearance, so I've made my BIGGEST guy yet from it along with a shit ton of little guys. They photograph terribly because of my shit lighting but here check them out before I finish up their clothes:

the biggest one is the size of a small child, haven't measured him yet but he's HUGE

[alllgator-blood]

uuugghhh my ride to the post office didn't work out so I'm just gonna post more art. okay this is the aforementioned unfinished vent art compilation I said I'd make its own post for. obviously it is ALL SHAMURA because who else would it be. I guess kallamar appeared more often in my last comics but shamura will always be my top dawg

^I did this one foreverrrrr ago, but I never felt like adding extra props to thescene and gave up and never posted it. it's like as soon as I can't fit more shamuras in a drawing I lose all steam. I'm less crazy about them now than I was back then, but I do wish I finished this one proper or at least remembered why it was I even drew it? I still like the concept

^I may have already posted this?? idk I just thought it was funny. suffer, you stupid idiot spider, you shall bear the cross of my mental illness

^I made a drawing forever ago of follower shamura up on a hill writing poetry, and there's these giant eyes in negative colors overlayed on top of the picture? If anyone remembers that? I get those over my vision sometimes, like my eyes are staring back at me from a negative polaroid or something, and I realized it kinda looked like an MRI scan so I went and drew this. That's maybe the visual hallucination I've had the longest? Mine are oddly specific things like breathing wet walls and ceilings, sparkles drifting through the air, bugs flying around and animals running behind corners/paws coming up from the crack under the door

^this one was going to be a sick painting but alas. I accidentally covered up the sketch on the canvas with paint that was too liquidy and rubbed off ALL the graphite that made up the sketch. so no painting of shamura melting in their coffin. I noticed I do a lot of art of their face being fucked up, and that makes total sense to me because their skull being cracked is kind of a major part of their character, but I wonder if there's some other unconscious reason I always, always resort to that.

^I left the sketch layer on this one intact but you still can't really see what's going on, their eyes were connected to the eyes of these other shamuras that split off from the main one? I have another similar one to that concept I did longer ago:

^the background of this one is my brain scans from when I was a teenager and had just had a head injury. I haven't gotten another scan since and frankly uhhh I don't wanna know what they look like now. I've scribbled over a lot of medical/government paperwork in the past, there's a copy of my disability benefit application being denied with my old OC beheading herself on it LMAO

I'm kind of embarrassed about how bad things have gotten just in general with my mental health, I spent the last year of my life trapped in a state of delusional parasitosis that I only just got over a couple weeks ago. I don't come on here much these days because I have false memories of people doing things to me or I find thingsI don't remember making. I know on a logical level it's untrue but I had to stop checking my dash/fandom posts because I felt like a bunch of them were about me, and I cannot in good conscience open asks back up because they got very bad and I wasn't well enough to be subjected to that. Haven't even checked my asks in a couple months, and it was very very hard opening my DMs to sell the plushies. I don't remember what was real and what wasn't, and it hurts too much to go through those old messages so I guess I won't know.

I've said it before, but I am seeking professional help currently and am being medicated + having my case reviewed to get me on disability benefits and housing. I'm doing my absolute best to stay on top of this shit but it does mean I need to be very, very careful about the time I spend online/interacting with people when my brain is injecting me with false memories and delusions that the people who have been kind to me are actually all a big group formed solely to make me think anybody likes me, but are exploiting me in secret. On sunday, I woke up and was CONVINCED a random follower of mine had leaked my deadname, I knew exactly who it was and swore I read the fucking post, but the next time I went looking for it there was nothing I remembered. When you have schizophrenia, shit like that *was* reality for you, you fucking saw it with your own eyes, or your brain retains that memory. It feels hazy, like a dream, but real memories feel like that too most of the time. I'm lucid enough to be able to tell hallucinations from reality the majority of the time but it's been getting harder and harder these days, I'm starting to think I had symptoms like this before and I just literally didn't comprehend it wasn't real.

Not sure what this hasto do with shamura. In my heart of hearts they are a schizophrenic queen. Their brain is fucked up and my brain is fucked up but we're both just doing our best, forgetting shit constantly and trying to decide if a memory was real or if it was just a dream. cotl isn't my hyperfixation anymore but I do love me some mura brain-hurting-angst

[alllgator-blood]

FINALLY rounded up all the recent plush orders!! For all future plushies, I'm just gonna be putting up ko-fi listings because although they take a bigger cut than paypal, a lot of people don't have paypal anyway and it was actually SO SO hard to keep track of everything via tumblr dms which infamously Don't Work. I have a head injury and would eventually screw up some orders if I kept doing it the way I was doing it, my memory and object permanence aren't so great, but that's what these first batches are for! To learn what works and doesn't work. I added a bunch more freebies because I found my old craft fair trinket box, and I don't plan on doing any craft fairs anytime soon

in any case, I haven't drawn in forever but I haven't posted any drawings in an even longer time. So here's some unfinished stuff:

^one layer quick shamura doodle thing, because they have mantid arms and mantids have the CUTEST threat postures in the bug world

^more shamura art from when I was rotating them in my mind at mach speed, the first one is supposed to be if they were a tarantula

^I have no words for this one except "I'm sorry"

^these are the sticker designs I send out with the plushies, they're black and white because my actual GOOD printer broke so I had to buy a label printer last-minute, but it can't do color. I plan on getting colored label stickers eventually though because I'm not a huge fan of the black and white look

^chibi follower kallamar turnaround thing, was meant to be made into a flat felt plush but I proceeded to accidentally throw nearly all the pieces away and ragequit when I realized what I did days later

aaandddd a couple unfinished panels of this one comic I really really want to finish and post someday, where the bishops + the lamb all draw themselves: v

I also have some unfinished shamura psychosis art but that's for another post. I also-also have fanart for a DIFFERENT eldritch horror-themed devolver digital indie game, as well as a cosplay.......you'll see. If you know, you know.

[ganglygamer]

They finally arrived!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Okay well, technically they arrived earlier this week but my internet has been extremely fucky all month due to the big thunderstorms rolling across my state, which is also why I've been a bit inconsistent on Artfight. So I'm taking this chance now to show them off).

But yeah, after a perilous and annoyingly delayed trek across the country (+ the box itself having a big chunk taken out when it was dropped off) my Shamura plush from the lovely @alllgator-blood has finally arrived! I was pleasantly surprised at just how big they actually were, as well as the amount of smaller goodies that came with them! I laid them all out on the patio table (since my family has made the house totally unfilmable) and was able to get this nice picture despite burning my feet in the process. And since I had them on hand I also added some items from previous gifts/cons into the frame to spice things up (specifically the pride+crystal stickers, rocks, the 3d-printed headcrab and the headcrab in a jar)!

After that pic was taken I cleaned them off and now they get to sit on my bed with the Youtooz Goat plush I also bought (so uhhhhh I guess you can say Goatmura canon now?), aside from that I get to do fun things with them when I'm bored like this -

I JEST OF COURSE, I would never ruin such a lovely gift like that. But yeah, I just wanted to say that this is an extremely thoughtful and well-made plush, and I cannot thank Blood enough for taking the time and effort to craft all these lovelies! Please do visit their profile and consider buying one of their Kallamar or Heket plushies if you're interested!

OH SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT, since I know Blood will probably see this I'll also drop off an older drawing I did back in June when you were still working on that colossal Shamura plush:

(The dialogue is based on the Meet the Heavy video btw, and originally I was also going to add a similar opening of you heaving the plush on your shoulder before slamming it down on the table like a body. Just thought you'd like to know 😊 )

[alllgator-blood]

BWagwrgharHWRGH anybody reading this is required to click "keep reading". It's incredible I promise

I am so honored that one of my shamuras has the privilege of becoming the next sopping wet milk webkinz (and is also being devoured by headcrabs, presumably. Not that there's much left to eat...). Very flattered that you liked my note enough to frame it and set up a nice little photoshoot area to show everything, thank you for putting this post together! Currently throwing hands with the mf that busted up the box though, I knew I was right to put all the little extra guys in a tied-shut gift bag rather than letting them loose, they all would've escaped otherwise!!

THE ATTACHED DRAWING IS NUTS BTW. I actually read it initially in the TF2 heavy's voice so the reference did not elude me lmaooo- I still do have a giant hoard of shamuras, some of which haven't been seen on this blog before. I want to say I'm not that deranged about shamura, especially now that the hyperfixation has died off (though cotl remains an interest and shamura is still my #1 pookie bear)...but when I was having that infestation scare that turned out to not even be real, I actually dismantled my life size shamura plush and stuck them in the deep freezer because I was desperate to make sure they didn't have any bugs on them. I BEHEADED THEM, IT WAS TERRIBLE. I'll fish em out sometime soon because I feel weird having a beheaded shamura corpse in my freezer :((( I'm supposed to have a beheaded shamura corpse in my ROOM so I can perform DARK, EVIL RITUALS upon them to give them sentience

[alllgator-blood]

HOUUGHhh posting these a little later than expected, praying things remain calm where I'm at so there's less metaphorical fires to put out. BUT THEY'RE FINISHED!! The leshys are all currently faceless/hornless and admittedly I have not even drafted narinder's pattern yet, so I've still got work to do but am getting the hang of this

DM me if you're interested in buying! Read below the cut for measurements, additional info, that sorta thing. I can only accept paypal/kofi payments rn, I can also do holds + bundle discounts, and can give you a specific one if you have a favorite! I'm also doing more of these in the future so there def will be restocks if you can't get one now but are interested.

EDIT: They have all sold/been reserved! Thank you so so much to everyone who bought one, all we have left is Leshy and eventually Narinder!!

All of these are stuffed with poly-fil and sand to add weight/fill small spaces better, are sewn from fleece + velvet ribbon, and have makeup pigment for their blush + heket's peachy colored belly. I can't find tan fleece in my area so I had to make do. Their eyes are plastic safety eyes secured with superglue and their features are hand embroidered with cotton floss. None of them have removable robes, but I left some of the hekets' scarves loose in case you're like me and prefer the ability to dress/undress a clothed plush

All of them will be lint rolled + have fray stop applied to all ribbon edges, I just didn't do it in these pics because I was gonna take them outside for pics anyway and knew they'd pick up some particles I'd have to clean later regardless

The BIG kallamar is 18 inches tall, the medium one is 13", BOTH bigger kalls have squeakers in their chests, and the little guys are around 7-8 inches each.

The big heket is 12" tall (and has a squeaker) and the little ones are all 7-8 inches as well. Some of them have very small angry eyebrows because I thought it'd be funny, but the angle kinda hides them under the eyes

The fifth heket that looks different was actually featured on this blog forever ago but I'm willing to part with her, I kinda need all the financial help I can get so if you get her, please give her a good home!! Or you can throw her at a wall, I express my love for my stuffed animals by throwing them and shaking them and squeezing them so I get it lmao

I order labels through USPS and will send you a tracking number when something's ready to be sent out- I can do international shipping outside america but it might be uh...very very expensive. I'm stingy af though so I might be able to find a loophole idk

[alllgator-blood]

am gonna list the kallamar plushies up 4 sale probably tomorrow, prices will be the same as the muras? there's 8 of them and they're actually all done, been done for a while, i only recently got back on my meds so i just didn't want to handle the shipping stuff with my brain all fucky. somewhat related, idk what it is with me but i am wracked with the urge to repeatedly open + inspect every package i send out and make sure i didn't accidentally send someone anthrax or a pipe bomb, it's why i shut down my old comic shop on etsy lmao

[gniht]

They came in!

This wonderful shamura was made by @alllgator-blood and is very amazing! Compliments to the chef, you did amazing with this!

This shamura is really good quality! From the hands and feet being weighted to the nice squeaker in their chest, it's an amazing plushie! And the other little things that came with them are really appreciated and amazing as well!

And, of course

Head squish :3

[alllgator-blood]

YESsssss another mura safe and sound with their rightful acolyte.....part of me wanted to put the squeaker right in their brain area so it'd be funnier to mush their head in, but i'm not sure how the hand embroidery would react with being smooshed over and over so i played it safe and kept it in the chest/stomach area. i am so so glad you like them + the extras, and let me know they arrived safely, i appreciate it!! i enjoy seeing the antics that occur as soon as these beasts enter someone else's home, personally i roughhouse all of my favorite stuffed animals so i got a good laugh out of the last two photos. they look like the fucking dented head wojak lmaooooo

[cratthecatrat]

RRAAAHHHHHH MY SHAMURA PLUSH MADE BY THE FANTASTIC @alllgator-blood ARRIVED SO MUCH SOONER THAN I EXPECTED!!!!!

THEY'RE SO CUUUUTE AND CAME WITH SO MANY ADORABLE FRIENDSNDJHDUSHSLKLUSVLJSFKHSFLHGSJLVJLSGPJS

I've arranged everyone on a shelf that will eventually go above my monitor that way they'll have their own spot :3 I will post a pic when I get it all set up and looking nice.

a video/gif thing of my cat, Mini, sniffing Shamura is there as well. She was very interested in the smells. She even rubbed her scent on the toad (who I absolutely adore btw, it's so CUTE and precious and I want to take it EVERYWHERE) when I let her sniff it. I wish I got it on camera :( she definitely licked sham just a little

[alllgator-blood]

AWWWwJjkakjfdsaf your cat is so cute, I am honored to have one of my shamuras devoured alive by such a beast. Maybe she can smell the presence of my cats on the mura, or maybe the velvet ribbon just feels nice on her gums LMAO- cats are strange critters but I love watching them just do their thing

I'm just relieved this little beast arrived safely + on time because I had sO many issues with the actual shipping part. My printer I've had for most of my sentient life decided to pull the plug on itself so I had to quickly buy a new one just to print labels (which is why the stickers aren't in color), the USPS site decided to refuse to let me make an account unless it was for business, and then it didn't like that my billing address was different from my shipping address because one said "street" and the other said "st", yet it wouldn't let me input "street"??? It was TERRIBLE but I fixed it all and it's all out of the way ALL IN ALL. I AM SO HAPPY YOU (and your cat) LIKE YOUR CREACHURES AND THAT EVERYTHING WORKED OUT!! Currently finishing up the kallamars and they should be released tomorrow if my sewing machine decides to cooperate with me

[alllgator-blood]

THE MURAS ARE HERE

I aimed to make five palm-sized plushies of each bishop and use whatever was left to make a couple big guys.

Details about these guys like size, material, price and how to buy are under the cut. But for those just browsing or waiting for a different bishop, I have an entire shelf of WIPs including some guys that aren't visible (aym + baal, narinder and mystic seller). I ran out of gold for the robes and black floss for the faces so uh they're all naked and in varying stages of facelessness for now:

I will also be featuring one Big Fucking Guy per bishop, so for leshy it's a baby version of him (back right in that photo), for kallamar it's a big weighted guy (back left), not sure what I'll do for the other three but I've got just enough material left over to figure it out!

EDIT: THEY HAVE ALL SOLD!!! Was not expecting that within the first day omg...thank you so much to everyone who reserved/bought a mura, and to everyone who may be seeing this after they sold out but are interested, I will be making more in the future!

The little ones are 7" tall, the slightly bigger ones are 10" , 12" and 12", and the big one is 22"! The big ones are all fitted with squeakers in their chest/stomach area. The muras are made with fleece, are half machine sewn and half hand-sewn, and have plastic safety eyes glued on with superglue to keep em from falling out. The faces are embroidered with cotton floss and the blush is from a makeup kit. The gold trim of the robes are suede ribbon. Each one is weighted with sand in the hands/feet and have a decent heaviness to them, but for the most part I stuff small areas with sand because poly fill slips out of narrow spaces easily, leaving the fingers all empty and wrinkly and horrible </3 these guys are not machine washable but can def be spot cleaned. Just don't soak them in milk and slam them against a wall and they'll be fine. I do have cats so if you have severe cat allergies, I can't guarantee these guys won't have Traces of Cat on them and felt I should give a warning just in case

I got a lot of helpful feedback about pricing so I'm pricing the little guys at $35 each, the medium guys at $45 and the biggest one at $60. Shipping is separate and will be figured out once each one is bought- I was thinking of sending PayPal invoices or putting up reserved Ko-Fi listings once shipping is calculated. I am willing to ship internationally but I live in America and international shipping that involves this hellish place in any way is going to be expensive, so...keep that in mind I guess?? If you have a specific one you want, I'll absolutely give you that specific one if it's still available

If you're interested in buying one, DM me and we'll go from there. If you're interested in buying multiple characters, I can reserve a mura for you while I complete the others! If you buy multiple I'll give you free shipping and either some bonus stuff or a discount cause the whole family for $35 each would be $175 and that's wild

OH and if you buy from me again in the future, like when I release the extra characters, I'll prolly offer free shipping then too

[alllgator-blood]

how should i release the bishop plushies when i finish them

put them up all at once when they're done

put one batch up at a time as they get finished

Voting ended onJul 16

I get overwhelmed easily on any process that requires multiple nonlinear steps so I have a few dozen bishop plushies that are all in varying stages of progress?? It'd be easiest to release like, 5 shamuras, then 5 hekets, then 5 leshys etc etc but it'd be harder to sell multiple things at a time if that ends up happening. Guess I could do holds? Haven't sold any physical items online in years and haven't worked on a huge batch of things like this in years either so idk, what do you guys think

prolly gonna sell them through ko-fi or directly through paypal cause etsy fees are CRAZY

[alllgator-blood]

big things happening at my place (but aren't completed yet:)

IGNORE ALL THE LOOSE STRINGS I half machine sew, half hand sew and use the excess threads to attach all the limbs/accessories

I'm doing 5 of each bishop, hopefully will do narinder if I don't run out of black fabric for the robes? I'm hand embroidering the faces, they're all weighted with sand and I'm using up a bunch of scrap fabric I had from forever ago. They're small enough to sit in your palm and are flat like a worry stone, they're all made from the tiny fleece shamura pattern I made last year and gave to the judge who selected me for the cosplay award. These aren't what I had in mind when I said I'd make bishop plushies but I think they're a decent start before I can afford better materials. I'm even doing giant ones with the same pattern, with the leftover fabric after I made 5 of each bishop:

I'm not on disability income yet and shit at home sucks hardcore, I just want my room to be a safe place I can hide in when things get bad/dangerous til I can afford to move, didn't want to ask for donations while giving nothing in return so I'm working my ass off on these lil guys to earn a less depressing bedroom. I want to make my bed area spider nest themed because somehow that sounds very comforting to me (what can I say, arachnids were one of my first special interests)

idk how much these will cost because they take a decent amount of work but they're quite small. Maybe let me know how much you'd be willing to pay, or I might make em name your price and add extras the more you pay? Idk yet I haven't sold any physical art in years

[alllgator-blood]

i'm posting a slightly censored part of a bluesky comic because i like the scene too much to keep it hidden. there's no smut but there's (censored) spider boobs + butt and nude cuddles

this one is about the purple crown still speaking to shamura even after its destruction, which could either be the remnants of the crown stuck in their brain, or their command hallucinations preying on their weaknesses. it happens after shamura + lamb's first times in the mating tent:

plz don't read under the cut if you're a minor. thank you

rip shamura's heart-shaped marking on their butt, gone to the shadow censors but not forgotten

ANYWAY. been thinking a lot about this part of a bluesky exclusive comic i did called "my body constantly betrays me", especially with the bad feelings that went into the moral orel kallamar comic i just posted. i have a lot of issues with even the thought of affection/intimacy/sex because my brain can't unlink them from grooming and exploitation and pain, so when i do nsfw comics it's kind of my way of making it hurt less. like virtually every other dark topic on this blog! but that one especially hurts a lot lately, so i finally went back and looked at my stuff from when i still had doubts about what happened to me.

this was one of my favorite shamura moments to write, them having every chance to take back their brother's stolen crown and reunite the old faith family...but being someone that values respect, honor and love more than a cheap shot at winning a war they accepted they lost long ago. imo i can't see shamura being a romantic or sensual type, i do however see them as someone who would form very deep bonds with anyone worthy of their respect. you'd have to be a very skilled and powerful individual to take down the god of war, let alone an entire pantheon, and then have the grace to let them roam free as mortals who get all their needs met. at this point in the story, they're still thin and atrophied, they haven't gotten top surgery and aren't used to having extra orifices or a libido, so they're just disgusted by themself and don't trust literally anyone else to help them ease their frustration besides the (non-family) person they respect the most.

BASICALLY i think this was on my mind because i needed a reminder that these topics don't have to feel like an icepick in my brain, and i'm still capable of writing healthy relationships without spiraling. this blog needed a pallet cleanser anyway, it's been forever since shamura's been on here. god i miss shamura

[alllgator-blood]

holidays are hard. drew something funny to lighten the mood, and to apologize to kallamar for continuously putting that squid through hell in my comics. this one's a redraw of that "where do the years go" scene from spongebob:

i wish kallamar would do my top surgery while shedding hooker makeup and cigarette ash into my eyes. healthcare staff suck a lot of the time where i live, but I at least know to expect the disease cult leader to commit several crimes during the procedure

also, um, about lamb's last er visit…well....if you've seen my bluesky, you already know (crude/suggestive humor under the cut, but no nudity)

i don't even know if i can give context to this one lmao, all i can say is it's shamura's fault

[alllgator-blood]

"I HOPE IT BLEEDS ALL DAY LONG" (part 2/2) [dialogue from Moral Orel s2e20]

wow that's so me when i scrub my skin off in the boiling hot bath while realizing i only use my gigantic sea creature-themed polycule as a self harm method, then trying to kill my cult leader with broken glass in a drunken rage after they reminded me of how disgusting + embarrassed i constantly feel. #whoelsecanrelate #justgirlythings #ifunnywatermark

also it's kind of fun reading this full comic with the audio from the show playing in the back, i changed the words a tiny bit (especially at the end) but i always loved how guttural clay's screaming was in that scene, and feel like no amount of writing "AAAAAAHHHH" can ever convey how the screams of these characters sound in my head.

this one was mostly made while struggling with somatic flashbacks. from the content of the comic i'm sure you can assume the type. when i'm anxious my hands go ice cold and it's hard to type, but i can draw just fine because i can keep my fingers all together around the pen. somatic flashbacks are more of my body panicking than my mind, so while it's hard to form words, drawing isn't as diffcult. i am medicated now, have a representative to help me receive state benefits and have been spending time away from here to feel less like a circus act + to focus on recovery, but it's still hard.

had to disable asks because some people have been. less than kind about my circumstances and i had to stop checking my notifs because it became too stressful. maybe i'll talk about it someday, maybe not, all i'll say is the reason i stopped talking to anyone/responding to anything on here wasn't out of "laziness" or "disrespect". i just kind of snapped after the amount of times someone was kind to me in private because they wanted something out of me, or threatened me for not replying quickly enough, or blew up my inbox with all caps walls of angry text when all i'm trying to do is just. make comics. i got really sad when i realized i was starting to be afraid of this fandom and hate the game because of the actions of a select few, so that's when i knew i had to take a break to preserve even a little bit of my love of this game/fandom.

unsure of when my next post will be, am trying to keep up with real life stuff and be less terminally online. things are still bad, but i mean what else is new, it's already been bad this long so this is the year i'm trying to put my trust in people in a position to help me.

[alllgator-blood]

random WIP panels of part 2 of "i hope it bleeds all day long".

i reallywant to get this done and not give up right at the end, so am posting some panels to hellp me stay committed to finishing it.full thing should hopeffuly go up tomorrow

neither lamb nor squid are having a a good time. there will be a gun involved

[alllgator-blood]

'I HOPE IT BLEEDS ALL DAY LONG'

(part 1/2)

[dialogue from Morel Orel s2e20]