second act calamity.

YOU SHOULD HAVE SAVED ME WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE.

[allmortal]

“  [...]  counter the dark appetites with a permanent daylight — the daylight of reason. one must be clever, clear, bright at any cost: any concession to the instincts, to the unconscious, leads downwards.  ”

                                                      —   friedrich nietzsche.

ind. priv.  AU MIDORIYA IZUKU.  written by mars.  heavily triggering content / viewer discretion is advised.  please read rules before interacting.  enter muse list here.

[allmortal]

@burntgod

[allmortal]

now i sleep and pray to the adhd gods that i dont forget abt tumblr until late tmrw night

[allmortal]

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“  i’m the one with the quirk, remember? oh no, that’s right. you were given one after i died, weren’t you? by the same “hero” who told me i was worth nothing, the bastard who told you the same and then had you offer up your life to him. who’re you putting up on your pedestal next, izuku? how long until you realize how easy they are to knock down? when are you finally going to give up!  ”

spitfire sears off his tongue, the shadow cast over his face highlights the glow of overflowing tears. all the good left inside of hisaki had leaked out into the cold reality of daytime. whatever benevolence once thrived had been muddled down into cowardice. he’s not particularly talented at antagonism, and yet it’s oh so easy to bite the head off of his own brother. memories of children pretending to be heroes couldn’t reconcile the rift between them now. whether it be some tragic misunderstanding or fate for them to foil each other — bitterness festers like ivy, poisoning the roots until the tree collapses. 

 “  why … why weren’t we enough for you?  ”  his voice quivers as he casts his gaze aside. izuku could have been anything he wanted except the one thing he dreamed of. he resented izuku, albeit reluctantly at first, for always looking towards the horizon instead of by his side. dreams so large that he wished so horribly to rip them from the sky and whittle them down to dust. because at the end of the day, when the light dies out and there’s nothing left but stray thoughts meant for capturing, it wasn’t enough for him. it was never enough for him. hisaki, mom, their life together, it would never be enough for izuku midoriya.

@9ths.

[allmortal]

MARS! 🐑#9279

[valtsv]

hero: *refuses to kill the extremely dangerous and evil villain because ‘i’m better than that’*

me:

[allmortal]

finally watching season 5

[allmortal]

if sobriety sticks i’ll probably end up coming back

[allmortal]

scuttles in

[allmortal]

👻  /  @icarwing​ for reki.

“  it sure looks cool !!  i dunno much about skateboarding, i never really done it before. i’d probably be real bad at it but heh - that’s okay. i’m not so good at most things.  ”  feet kick out from his cement seat, a nervous tick as he makes short conversation with a stranger in the park. eyes glued to his notebook pages while carrying on the topic like eye contact meant nothing. to izuku, most of the time it didn’t. too much to look at, too much to see to stay stuck on another person’s eyes. “  you know any cool tricks?  ”

[allmortal]

          𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 mere numbers left to lick at their wounds,  hardly a victory from the heroes but nothing less from failure on their end as well.   Oh it stings,  the hit never came as a surprise  ( faring in the streets does that to you,  honed instincts that never quite leave )  but it still hurt.   Geten was close in not making it but Redestro is gone,  prison bound,  and with everyone else gone their separate ways once again to retreat and regroup it left the ice user no great satisfaction in his correct assumptions prior to the attack:   the next time he comes across that winged hero himself,  he swears…

          But vengeance was hardly on the mind right now.   From all the commotion,  he had lost someone else much more important than a payback.   The worry didn’t cloud his perception,  he judged the next best area to the next until he finally found the kid.   Geten sighs silently but advances slowly,  silently,  the first fall of snow is always quiet and gentle,  in one’s slumber suddenly the earth is all covered in white as the eyes spring open.     “  Izuku?  ”     he calls,  unsure,  frowning now as he takes a better look at the younger’s state.   Geten hurriedly kneels down,  cold hands just hovering over scarred ones.     “  Izu…  ”     

          He doesn’t want to startle the boy,  but the concern is back and the lights of his eyes scan over the curled up frame for any delicate cracks.   Oh child,  don’t bear this alone.   Geten’s hand lands on Izuku’s back,  rubbing,  the other grabs one of the boy’s hands and lifts up the pressure.     “  Hey,  you’ll hurt yourself…  ”

his name placates his warring thoughts  as it breaks through the quiet sob filled silence. izuku recognizes the voice without having to see anything -  “  g-geten?  ”  he responds, stuttering over the name he’d said thousands of times as gentle touches bring aid. “  geten.  ”  izuku doesn’t move much, not when one of his hands is being removed from his head and that voice is telling him he’s going to get hurt. it doesn’t matter, he wants to say, he deserves it. 

he isn’t really even supposed to be here - it was instinct that had him wandering back to the underground, hiding his plight from his mother like what had become usual. she doesn’t deserve to see her son like this - chewed up and spit out by the world. tragically upended and so very painfully mortal. izuku lifts his head to wipe his cheek on the ridge of his knee, sniffling as he refuses to make eye contact with the one person who still looked for him after everything. “  are you - y - you okay? are you h-hurt?  ”

[allmortal]

👻  /  @madestars​ liked for geten.

fingers dig into dark green curls  like holding onto a life raft in the middle of a stormy sea. he’s alone in the warehouse, or at least he thinks he might be, believes he was before time lost most of its meaning to his shell-shocked interior. the presence doesn’t weigh on his instincts, he doesn’t acknowledge it but simply holds himself tighter until the harsh edge of his fingernails threaten to break through the skin of his scalp. it wouldn’t matter if he drew blood, the pain is secondary if not a grounding resolve from all that troubles him. 

hawks is gone and izuku is crushed by the betrayal. he trusted him, he trusted him, he trusted him. he’s so stupid, an idiot, a pathetic idiot who can’t help anyone - who can’t be helped. tears stain his face and the knees of his wearing pant legs. it’s too much for him to balance, he can’t hold the weight. something akin to a whimper leaves his mouth. there’s no solace here. not anymore. he should have known better than to trust a hero.

[allmortal]

👻  /  @kakudan​​ liked.

“  y-you’re awake ... izuku - i ... how are - how are you feeling?  ”  hisaki’s wavering throat threatens to expose the tears he’s desperately holding back. previously curled up next to his brother’s side, waiting for him to wake from his coma so he could list every apology he probably owes. yet upon seeing those eyes he shares finally open, his tongue is cement in his mouth. green head perking up when he feels izuku shift, it wasn’t the first time hisaki might have gotten excited over nothing but this time he’s not disappointed.

[allmortal]

👻  /  @ohferal​ liked.

he flicks through his phone to see so many unanswered texts sweep by, izuku thinks he should have expected that. probably should leave well enough alone after what happened. after everything. but he’s never been an expert on giving up - punishingly persistent to the point of causing constant annoyance. it’s in his nature to be a nuisance, he just needs to see him - needs to know he’s alright even if the sentiment is selfish. maybe there’s something he can do - a naive thought that there possibly exists a remedy for any of this. that’s why he shows up at the hospital, slinking in under the radar like he knows he shouldn’t be there. and he shouldn’t be. 

hunting down todoroki’s room doesn’t take long - it doesn’t take much time to get there either. red shoes drifting down the long halls until he’s peering through glass panes to see his friend. if he’d still let izuku call him that. he has to clear his throat before he tries to speak, knowing it would likely squeak from the presence of his unfallen tears. he peeks around the door frame, not daring to enter - not daring to further trespass on todoroki’s space.  “  h - hey ... todoroki-kun -  ”  izuku’s voice is taught with guilt, he keeps it quiet as if he thought any louder would be an unnecessary disturbance.

[allmortal]

[ smile ] - for midoriya? or if you prefer another muse, that's okay with me! c:

    a girl???   the floaty one who almost defeated bakugo of all people, he recalls her face from the big screen as he watched the festival unfold in awe. what feels like forever ago must have only been a few years, strange how time has passed within the league - a warp of too fast and too slow. what matters is the end point, the final lap, and a smile; shining directly at him like the rays of a blinding sun. izuku is quick to wrap himself in his arms, flustering beneath the warmth, shying away from the welcoming glow of friendliness. he doesn’t deserve it. doesn’t she know who he is? what he’s done? anxiety enters with his next breath, growing in his chest with the expansion of his lungs. she must have mistaken him for someone else, or maybe her friend stands behind him without his knowledge. a misunderstanding - that’s right, that’s all it could be. no one smiles like that for him.

[allmortal]

zombizuku and his relation to/view of all might

so following canon up until he is killed, izuku’s last and first altercation with all might is when all might tells him he can’t be a hero. izuku is absolutely crushed and makes the rash decision to try and save bakugo from the sludge monster that promptly kills him when all might fails to act in time. izuku dies believing he could never be a hero because his hero told him to his face that he wasn’t good enough without a quirk. this is a huge reason why izuku then will eventually agree to garaki’s experimentation with his resurrection quirk. while under threat and pressure he is also under the assumption that maybe if he can get more quirks, he can still be the hero he always wanted to be, however he is gravely mistaken and finds out to his bitter disillusionment.

as time passes within the league izuku begins to resent all might, ever since he failed to save him, a seed has been growing inside him, watered by his suppressed rage and hate for his circumstances and the provocateur who led him here. his hero failed him, the hero who saves everyone couldn’t save him. the strength of his belief only makes the realization hurt worse, that his idolization is no match for the cruelty of reality. when izuku is forced to return home, he is forced to enter his old bedroom, a shrine to his former hero who he has grown to despise in the same way he despises his weaker, younger self. his mother is upset to see him dispose of every piece of memorabilia, bidding adieu to his old self like washing a stain out with bleach. his bedroom is completely bare, he tells himself it’s like it’s a clean slate in a way, but really it just makes him feel emptier than ever before.

[allmortal]

we have puppies

        we’re listening ...