Alone with someone

Family, Friends, Myself, as long as I learn how to be alone with someone, does it matter who is the someone? Hoping writing about some dramatic and not so dramatic instances of my life, will help others realize their not alone, or at least will provide a sort of entertainment, perhaps a new perspective.

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

I cant be Friends with you, I still love you, doubt I will stop loving you, doubt I can be just Friends, that being said I stand by everything I have said, you are family you ever need anything you tell me, I dont need you to love me back, or cuddle, or stand by me, I dont need your attention or your time I want you happy, well and healthy, I want you alive somewhere I want you to forgive yourself for everything that was out of your hands and still blame yourself for.

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

I think I am dating someone

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

Someday I will be able to look at you and breath, someday I wont be angry for the stuff that happened to you, someday I wont care anymore.

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

I know it can be hard and painfull, I will be patient just never forget I am here if you need me.

[lovequotespost]

People who make you feel happy. People who inspire you, to be better, to be yourself. People who are not toxic to you. People who advice you good. People who are honest to you. People who push you to achieve your goals. Keep them close.

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

L: Just move in already come up to México, I will support you and you wont have to do anything other than develop ur apps

C: maybe someday, surely not when you are all lonely.

L: I have offered before, when I am not lonely, when I was with my ex, after the break up, before him, I have asked you and you always say no... I will stop asking someday.

C: No you wont

L: I will stop meaning it

C: No you wont, also I will accept someday, not now.

L: improvement at last

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

Day 13/ What excites you?

Everything that is new and shiny and hopeful also everything that is sincere, a how are you today from an unexpected person, the are you okay after a couple days since an accident, a hey were have you been? Everything excites me.

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

I wish all the good for you, I want you happy... still I hope you feel just as bad as I do.

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

Day 12 / Write about the 5 most importante things of your life.

Family & Friendsbecause it says things and so I cannot just Write about the people that I care the most, so the "the thing" that gets first place is family... My phone, because this days is my only Friend, my get away, my bank, agenda, my life... A confortable chair because I spend most of my day sitting and without a good chair I would always be in pain.... televisión because that is where I learned how to love, how to care, how to empathize I learned to be a decent human being.... I guess my dreams if that can be counted as a thing, they are unrealistic and take me to places I might never see in real life, away from all the bad of my reality.

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

I wake up, un block my computer, check messages while I connect the phone for work, go pee, turn on the kettle for my coffee, go check the phone and choose my status, bitch about work not being assigned "useless people, should do it myself" go get my coffee, work available now "finally!" Start working, check my games un between gaps, eat, continue working, with Netflix running... I really need to get a life 

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

Day 11 / Write about the moments you think "what if"

I hate them, there they never go away, I always do stuff so I don't regret later on and wonder and guess what?! I always wonder there is just no end to it. Soo

What if I hadn’t gotten married at 15? What if I didn’t had the 3rd kid? What if I started playing tibia sooner? What if I had wait longer to have sex? What if I stop falling for every dude that is nice to me? What if I stop asking what if? 

[quotefeeling]

When you meet the one who changes the way your heart beats, dance with them to that rhythm for as long as the song lasts.

Kirk Diedrich (via quotefeeling)

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun

― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

[alonewithsomeoneposts]

Day 10 / Write about something that makes you feel strong.

Strong? Seriously??? Nothing makes me feel strong, really nothing. I am strong I am badass I am one of those that comes through when shit gets ugly and hard, that sticks and see through all of that and can make it work somehow, there is nothing that can make me feel strong though, I don’t feel like I am strong,  I feel weak, needy, clingy, nosey, pushy, I cry over everything and I fight back when I shouldn’t and stay quiet when I also shouldn’t I also stand straight when I need to, push back when is required it and mostly I fight with everything I have to when is deserved, so I would not know how to write about something that makes me feel strong, because I really do not feel strong ever.