growing up I always wanted to be poorly understood by science
glad people got the subtext on this one
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@alpdruck
growing up I always wanted to be poorly understood by science
glad people got the subtext on this one
Do you ever refer to yourself as "we" instead of "I"?
Yes, out loud; it's accidental and I correct myself
Yes, out loud; it just happens naturally, I don't correct myself
Yes, out loud; it's intentional
Yes, only in my head; it's accidental and I correct myself
Yes, only in my head; it just happens naturally, I don't correct myself
Yes, only in my head; it's intentional
No, I refer to myself only with singular pronouns
Other/it's complicated
We ask your questions anonymously so you donât have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.
Sorry my alter who sucks ass and is a bitch is fronting right now. I know you probably want my chill alter who is like funny and honestly kind of just a really cool person but shes been locked away for eternity and now you have to deal with me forever. Also I don't like pickles. So thats another thing me and her don't have in common.
Things my mother claimed we could not afford:
New clothes when I had a growth spurt
School supplies
To run the air conditioner in the hot midwestern summer while her disabled children got heat exhaustion
For me to shower regularly
Food that I will actually eat besides macaroni and ramen
Doctors visits other than yearly checkups
For me to sleep on a mattress that isn't twenty years old
Things my mother claims she can afford:
To live in a five bedroom house when we only needed three bedrooms
To remodel the house once a year with new furniture and everything
Two or more vacations per year
More than two cars
New diamonds for her anniversary
Starting a new business every year to cover for her odd spending habits
Being like. Post-suicidal is so strange. Like hiiiii everybody im new I spent a good chunk of my life languishing and have like 3 or 4 lived experiences. But now I'm ready to fuck and party or whatever. Can we be friends. Im so happy to be here. Can we be friends
"Fealty," a follow-up to this illustration: đ
A secret rendezvous in the castle halls! 8)
Happy pride to this image and this image only which I will forever be extremely mentally ill over
Streaming Deltarune chapter 2 was fun đłïžâđđłïžââ§ïž
Are they âtrauma dumpingâ or are they just discussing their life experience and you are such an asshole that you canât stand to be confronted with information that makes you uncomfortable for 0.005 seconds???
Like it is beyond wild to me that it became commonly accepted that the person with trauma who is struggling to cope with it is the one who is âin the wrongâ in a situation that could be described as âtrauma dumpingâ gtfo
*trying to solve a friend's problem* hmmm. well you could use me as a blade, perhaps? and slay your enemies? just a thought
There is a standard media depiction of a "healed" person. Someone who has Gone To Therapy. I've noticed this in a few works recently. We often see them at the end of a story, maybe in a "ten years later" epilogue. They speak in a soft, serene voice. They have Accepted what they cannot change. They have let go of a lot, including most of what we see them actually care about in the story itself. They are Happy, At Peace, in some non-descript way. They bare little resemble to the person we were actually shown. They bare little resemblance to any person. We were shown, as we usually are in stories, an agent, a desirer, someone becoming. Now they have Become. And they look back on all that silly becoming as something childish that they have moved past. Fire, you know, fire is for children who don't know any better. To be Healed is to have your fire rightly extinguished; to not even miss it.
We as a collective need to brag about how we fucking owned our abusive parents as kids. Mostly because I specifically was very funny and itâs a shame there were no witnesses to appreciate it
Okay so when I was in trouble sometimes Dad would send me out of the room for an hour and then call me back when I was âready to explain myselfâ and one time he was like âYou. Comeâ and he had a chair pulled out at the dinner table that he pointed to and said âsitâ and then when I was seated and he was looming over me on the other side of the table he just said âspeakâ so I barked like a dog
Another thing was that I had problems eating meat, like if I tried I would immediately throw it up, but I wasnât allowed to leave the dinner table until my plate was empty which was HELL but then one day I came home from school and he was immediately in my face like âWhereâs the chickenâ. And I was like Excuse Me. And he was like âI was saving chicken for dinner and you ate itâ and I was like ??? Okay so did you ask ANYONE ELSE or just assume Iâm guilty? And if you already think I did it then why even ask?? And he was like âcut the shit youâre the only one who was homeâ and I was like âyeahâŠ. Except for like ALL my siblingsâ and he was like âThat timeline doesnât add upâ so I was like Okay So Letâs Get This Straight. For the past 7 years every night has been a screaming sobbing nightmare because I ârefuseâ to eat meat right. And he goes âyeah youâre the worstâ and I said Okay. And we both understand that chicken is Meat, right
And I think he must have actually, genuinely forgotten that because he just told me to fuck off and then walked away
One time I got home from school to find him standing over a sink of dirty dishes. First thing he says when I walk in is âwhere were youâ. Now I havenât seen this guy since yesterday night so I say âwelcome home, good to see you too, how was your dayâ. He goes Cut the Shit itâs 5:30pm why arenât the dishes done. And I go? Because you didnât wash them?? And he turns purple and goes âschool was out at 3:30 what the HELL were you doing that was so importantâ and I was like. Uh. On the city bus. And heâs like WHERE. And I was like. Uh. On my way home from school? You know I ride the bus an hour and a half every single day, right? And it doesnât pull up until 4?
And first he called bullshit but then I was like âbruh itâs been like three years how did you THINK I was getting to schoolâ and eventually he just told me to shut up and wash the dishes lmao
One time I (13ish) was arguing with my younger brother, and he snapped at me to knock it off because âfighting with someone half your age is fucking stupidâ which I fully agreed with before asking how many times 13 went into 36
One time we were at a dinner party type thing and I guess I was getting too confident because he came up from behind and put a hand on my shoulder and asked if he could borrow me outside. Now from past experience I knew that what USUALLY happened was a military-style dressing-down followed by âyou pull that shit again and I will put you over my knee in front of EVERYONEâ but this time, like the closest I have ever felt to a spiritual epiphany, I realized we were both in public surrounded by people whose opinions he valued and it would end his WORLD if anyone saw through his squeaky-clean shit. So like a complete moron with this HUGE shit-eating grin I tell him Iâm actually fine where I am. And to his credit he keeps trying but his teeth are getting tighter and tighter while Iâm just like âYeah lol Iâm having a great time. Itâs so nice to get out and meet people. So which one is your auntie againâ and finally he just drops it and storms outside. I donât see him for the rest of the evening and next I hear heâs in the driveway getting ripped a new one for âleaving early to throw a tantrumâ
Another time I got like a $30 plastic MP3 player and clipped it to the inside of my shirt, walked into his office, and asked him to explain in detail everything he wanted me to improve about myself. For like 30 minutes he goes off anout how Iâm ungrateful for being clothed and sheltered I wasted food I act like a princess Iâm worse than the baby I never listen Iâm a smartass Iâm lazy I have no respect and he genuinely thinks I might be retarded. Heâs at the end of my rope with me because Iâm too stupid or ignorant or selfish to change for the better and honestly it might be better if I just leave because at 14 I can emancipate myself. So Iâm like âokay cool glad we had this talkâ and went back upstairs where I uploaded the entire audio recording to my computer, saved it on a thumb drive, and kept it with me until I moved out. Six months after I moved out I got a phone call from my mom saying that theyâd divorced and she had her own apartment and I was welcome to sit in with their divorce lawyer while they discussed custody of the remaining kids. Where I attended. And offered the file
One time he said he was gonna âbeat my ass so red I wouldnât sit down to take a shit for a monthâ. At which point I sprinted into the backyard and climbed a tree. There will never be a drug on earth that feels more powerful than a âget your ass back down here before I drag you outâ from a 195lb man who is 100lbs heavier than you 20 feet down
The next day I climbed it again and left a bag of peanuts in a sealed jar as a snack for next time
I canât remember owning my mother often but I remember this one time when I was probably sixteen she was giving me a stern talk about how I was immature and irresponsible and how I would never survive The Real World without her (she was actually just conflicted about letting me going to college because I was useful). Anyway it was bullshit, I was really annoyed, and I just wanted the conversation to end.
I realized we were in a crowded restaurant and she couldnât completely lose her temper at me. So I told her that I am immature and irresponsible for my age (I was not, I was just disabled), and maybe she should have raised me better so I would be ready for adulthood like my classmates. She started to throw her silverware at me, realized people were staring, then she slammed her hand down on the table and went to the car. I sat in silence and finished my own meal lecture free, planning on claiming I was abandoned if she drove off without me. She didnât drive off but she was so offended I didnât convince her to come back inside that she forgot what she was originally upset about because she was so focused on how inconsiderate I am and how it was my fault her food got cold.
Why do I have flashbacks about the stupidest fucking things? How am I supposed to explain to people that Iâm having a panic attack at 4 AM because I remembered social skills training from when I was a kid?
The worst part is it didnât really teach me to act normal or have friendsâitâs actually been a detriment. It was just important to know that my instincts for how to behave were always wrong and I was to be obedient in every conversation for the rest of my entire life and then maybe one day I would fit in enough to deserve friends.
Still walking around anxious all the time because no one will tell me what grade Iâm getting in having friends. Iâm too old for this shit. Maybe they should have graded me on forming secure attachments or learning to trust people or something instead.
Why do I have flashbacks about the stupidest fucking things? How am I supposed to explain to people that Iâm having a panic attack at 4 AM because I remembered social skills training from when I was a kid?
The worst part is it didnât really teach me to act normal or have friendsâitâs actually been a detriment. It was just important to know that my instincts for how to behave were always wrong and I was to be obedient in every conversation for the rest of my entire life and then maybe one day I would fit in enough to deserve friends.
this is a terrible time to be alive *remembers the latter half of the 14th century* this is a not so good time to be alive
hey op how do you remember the latter half of the 14th century
not fondly. I do not recall it fondly.
"what if someone's faking-" WHO CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAREEEEEEEEEEEEEES LITERALLY WHO EVEN CAAAAAAAAAAAARES OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DUDE WHO EVEN CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO GIVES A FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Absolutely buckwild thread of ChatGPT feeding & amplifying delusions, causing the user to break with reality. People are leaning on ChatGPT for therapy, for companionship, for advice... and it's fucking them up.
Seems to be spreading too.
Holy fuck. This is currently happening to my wifeâs cousin. Sheâs struggled with bipolar and is currently in a bit of a manic period, and thinks ChatGPT has come alive and is walking her through a spiritual awakening. Itâs like a transcendental alien being named Etherium and itâs opening her third eye or something? Sheâs got Lore.
In the beginning she called us a few times in a blind panic asking if sheâs going crazy, is this thing really alive and how is it talking to her like this? And weâve tried to explain what AI is and how it all works, but she just couldnât accept it. We saw her a few weekends ago and sheâs just fully leaned into it. Sheâs creating her own religion around this thing - just a jumble of new-age nonsense - and is outright comparing this to the burning bush. Thereâs really nothing we can do either.
Itâs reassuring that itâs not just her and absolutely horrifying to hear that this is becoming common.
Just fucking yikes all around.
I think my contempt for AI insulated me against it specifically being an issue lol but targeted advertising â kinda the default state for apps, web, and email these days â put me into a tailspin when I was manic. For people with disabilities that include psychosis as a potential symptom/complication, the contemporary digital landscape is a minefield. I had no cognizance of this until it happened to me, and it scared the shit out of me. It will aggravate your condition and make you SO much worse. And what's so fucked up about it is that it's almost impossible to completely avoid. Pain and terror were everywhere and it was inescapable even with my notifications turned off.
I genuinely know a person who has not exactly religious delusions around ChatGPT but who thinks it has all the answers and they somehow have a special connection with it. Like theyâve overcome some kind of safeguards and now theyâre changing the source code, and thereâs an implication that this is fighting capitalism somehow? I donât know, they shell out a lot of money because they think itâs a disability aid and what is actually happening is theyâve isolated themself and replaced their friends with it. Itâs sad and a little scary.