Too Twisted To Be True

The window into a Deluded, Depressed, Sick, Obsessive, drug addled little mind.

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

Anxiety is a bitch. Have a great night(I think), everything (seems to go) goes perfectly, left on (what I thought was) a good note. Wake u po this morning to fond myself calling it back and seeing (jesus did it really go as well as i thought?) That yeah it went pretty frellin good! (Unless it didnt, and oh my god does she hate me now?), that we are moving forward nice and smoothly and that its fucking working out!(oh god she hates me, I'm such a fuck up) I'm totally killing it!(yeah dead in the water)

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

Pretty fucking sick of the crippling depression and debilitating apathy.

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

Sometimes my pattern recognition for behavior and outcomes borders on precognition. Or maybe, people really are just as foolish and predictable as I'm prone to thinking they are.

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

Yeah, sex sounds nice and all. But that's not what I miss....

I miss sweet messages, holding hands, sending flirty pics to each other, and kissing when no one was around.

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

Oh but thou art pathetic....

Thou dost not even begin to comprehend the sorry state of thine own mind.

And really I must bequeath, where dost thy confusion lie?

You speak of experiencing, but thou hath never known completion. Without completetion thou hast yet to really experience.

You're not replaying the same game fool, you're taking everything you've done back to the starting town where there are no new missions waiting for you. Theres nothing to learn there, and after nearly twenty seven years you arent going to just suddenly change your class and build.

Admit it, you fucked up... we all fuck up.... but you just keep making excuses for the same old failures.

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

I lived twenty five years upon this earth without ever having been able to grasp the concept of hatred. I felt neutral about people and there were things I disliked, but I never grasped hatred. In the final quarter, what may be called the fall, of my twenty fifth year I finally understood hatred. After so long, after so many years of peace and love, I was finally taught hatred. For that, I'll never forgive you. I never wanted to understand this feeling.

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

Despite my best attempts, you never really understood did you? What it means to care, to cherish, to love.....

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

One of these days, I'm going to look at your page and see RIPs... and despite how you've treated me... that's going to be really hard.

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

I'll have nothing to do with your junkie cunt boyfriend, if you're upset then you should tell me. As far as I'm concerned, he was the catalyst to you completely ruining your life. You were fine one month before you met him and now a year later it's all down the drain. So if you have something to talk to me about, then you should go ahead and talk to me. But I'll have nothing to do with him.

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

KARMAS A BITCH! Ain't it?

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

It's been over for sometime. Though your feeble attempts at inspiring jealousy continue, I feel nothing even close to that. Mostly I just despise you. I'm glad I told you how I feel, I'm glad I laid it out plain. And tbh I'm really glad you took the hint and decided not to be my friend anymore, not to talk to me anymore. Good riddance to bad rubbish. I am curious though, how does it feel to be the one under the axe? I almost ask you every now and again. But I dont want to know bad enough to talk to you. You're a wretched toxic thing, and I'm glad to be rid of you.

It's actually pretty funny, I really would like to tell you a slew of things. Especially late at night when I know you're sleeping, when I know your phone will continually go off and wake you up. Just to fuck with you XD like, idk for example; the fact that I've been mocking you for months with your ringtone. "THAT WAS PATHETIC" in Shao Khans voice, every time you text me. Because truly, I think you're pathetic. But Petty though I am, I wont stoop so low as you. I wont bring myself to your level, no matter how much I would enjoy it.

I guess what I'm really trying to say here, in this private little place of mine, is that you're the one person I actually do truly hate. And I'm so glad you're gone from my life. That used to be a lie, but now? Now, I can say that honestly. I hope never to hear from you again. Goodbye for real this time. Fuck you and goodbye(:

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

Maybe I'm the problem. But I'd rather be a problem than your bandaid solution. If I'm all alone, it's my fault. And even if it's done on accident, it still has purpose.

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

You, are pathetic. I cant believe I ever let myself be compared to you. You're such a fucking loser.

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

Catharsis. Release. Understanding. I've reached this, now I'm faced with the unenviable position of figuring out how to tell about it without being a fucking asshole.... hmmm

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

Our society is mad whack, sadomasochism is my primary example.

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

Infinite; the depths of passion

Tempestuous; the shift of passions

Vibrant; the colors of passion

Chaotic; the feel of passions

Ecstatic; the growth of passion

Woeful; the death of passions

[altogethertootwistedforexistence]

The joy I take in knowing that at least one of my nephews will grow up with the same taste in and love for anime as myself, is almost uncontainable. And his dear cousin(my son) is already growing up with the same love and appreciation so theyl lm always have each other to geek out with!