alyssa

[freshdailydoseofashtonirwin]

When I said I like it rough I meant the sex not the whole fucking relationship cunt

[jahseh-world]

Last picture of X alive

[godwillneverhelp-deactivated202]

can’t be real,rest in paradise

[xf4int]

RIP

[kryers]

May the Kings sleep well…

[alyssawallace01]

“I’m sorry that I’m so embarrassed. It’s just that he was never the one who asked when we could see each other. So when I heard you ask if we could do something tonight, I didn’t know what to say, because I’m just not used to it. I’m sorry that I’m so nervous. It’s just that he once said we’d meet up at 3pm, and when he arrived at 6pm he gave me a far-fetched apology and a quick kiss, then he moved on to another subject. So when you and I were supposed to meet up at 11 last Friday and you were already standing there at 10.55, I didn’t know how to react, because I’m just not used to it. I’m sorry that I’m so awkward. It’s just that he only ever texted me first if he needed something, and I never got a good morning or goodnight text from him. So when I heard my phone vibrate two days ago at midnight and found a “good night sweetheart” from you, I didn’t know what to respond, because I’m just not used to it. I’m sorry that I’m so shy. It’s just that people only take pictures of what they love, and he never once asked for a photo of me. So when you took out your camera and told me to look at you, I didn’t know how to pose, because I’m just not used to it. I’m sorry that I’m so clumsy. It’s just that he saw me only when he wasn’t too busy. So when you said that you didn’t have much time but that you’d come and see me anyway, I couldn’t find the words to thank you, because I’m just not used to it. I’m sorry that I’m so sensitive. It’s just that he always took hours to text me back, and sometimes he didn’t even do it. So when I sent you a message at 6.56 and you responded by 6.57, I could hardly believe it, because I’m just not used to it. I’m sorry that I’m so terrified. It’s just that I always hoped he would do this or that, and nothing I wished for ever happened. So now that I’m too deluded to dare hope for anything, my hands start to shake and tears fill my eyes when it all happens exactly the way I want it to. Please don’t hold it against me, and please don’t be surprised. Cause darling you treat me so fucking well, and I’m just not used to it.”

— I’m sorry that I let him steal my trust (via chasing–ghxsts)

[alyssawallace01]

““I’m better than you!” Her daughter yelled, tears streaking her face. “I’m better than everything you are. I’m better at love, a better fighter, a better being. I am better then the harsh words and the way you make me feel. I am better then the way you toss me around like I am nothing to you. I am better than you and if you aren’t happy because of that then you aren’t a mom. You should raise me to make me better than who you were.” as she raised her shaking hand to the wine bottle and drank.”

— Excerpt from a book I will never write #848 (via excerptsofstories)

[schuylerpeck]

And while other mothers / showed their daughters / how to paint their faces beautiful, / how they taught their daughters / how to rise from fear / with teeth bared; / my mother taught me fear. / My mother taught me closed mouth / and bloody nose. / I am still growing in places I was cut down. / I am still learning / how to grieve.

Schuyler Peck, Mother’s Day

[alyssawallace01]

“My greatest fear is that I am intelligent enough to know what I want but not intelligent enough to achieve it.”

— Sue Zhao (via blossomfully)

[alyssawallace01]

“I crave love, the purest, deepest and rawest form of it. The movie love, the book love, the Romeo-Juliet love. Just someone’s careless kisses on my neck and my yearning lips, Someone to hold hands with and run into the sunset with, Someone I can write about endlessly, never getting tired of writing about how they are my sole galaxy in this dark universe, my one nice thing, About How every word that falls off their lips can put poetry to shame, Or how his eyes have all my favorite colors in one place, right where I can see them. How his hands are rough and strong, And how mine are soft and fragile, How he would kiss my fingers Every time I would remind him why I love him. How he and I would make each other mix tapes and pretend we’re in the 90’s. I wonder if he would write about me too, That’s the dream, two writers in love. Exchanging letters and small notes, Proclaiming our love in ways that haven’t been written about yet, With two different point of views for the same story. I want to dance with him, even though I don’t know how to and I am sure he’s a brilliant dancer, And I want him to sing with me, Even though he is a terrible singer, I want to kiss him, Which is nice cause we’re both great kissers. I want to hear his far fetched theories about alternate universes and how he reckons we stumbled across each other, fate or sheer coincidence? I want to fall in love with the whole person, and not just the idea of them I have constructed in my head. I want to love them for being shitty, for being sad, for being weird, for crying, for being pathetic, For being one hundred percent themselves, and being okay with letting me see every side they deemed unlovable. I want to kiss him lazily like we have all the time in the world and also urgently, like there’s no tomorrow. I want to cuddle with him, trying to burrow myself deeper into his scent and him, That’s what I think heaven will smell like, Leather, cinnamon and him. I think heaven will sound like his voice, Every goddamn thing he says sounds like honey and chocolate milkshakes. Where are you? When are you planning to show up? I am exhausted even though I am only seventeen, But I’ll wait till I am seventy if I have to.”

— thewriterthatnobodynoticed (via shareaquote)

[alyssawallace01]

“Call her by her first name. Her full name. Don’t make it sound like her mother’s leather belt tongue, but instead, say it so gently she begins to fall in love with every letter all over again, for the first time.”

— Schuyler Peck, Her First Name (via schuylerpeck)

[alyssawallace01]

“1. At some point you realise that the love you give will never be enough for him, he won’t be happy with you and that’s okay. You have to let go and move on with your life. 2. Saying goodbye to the love of your life is the hardest you will ever have to do, but it will be worth it. 3. Moving away from home is hard but for the first time in your life you can do what you want, when you want; enjoy it! Embrace the homesickness and soak up your parents love when you visit at holidays. 4. You can’t recover overnight. There will be days when you don’t feel like eating, or breathing, or living. That is okay, book a doctors appointment and spill your heart out. 5. The medication does work. 6. Your friends are there for you and you aren’t annoying them by asking for help! But you need to go to therapy to find healthy coping mechanisms, your friends aren’t a replacement for this. 7. Letting go is harder than you thought, don’t religiously check their facebook, instagram, and twitter. It will only make you sad. 8. Do not leave your university assignments until the night before, this does not help your mental health and only leaves you wishing you could do better once it has been submitted. 9. Don’t beg for someone to be in your life. Chances are, if you’re promising to change yourself for someone who gives nothing in return, they’re not worth it. 10. You deserve someone better. 11. Find the balance with alcohol. Drinking too much is never a good idea and will only make you feel like shit the next day. You don’t need to be smashed to have a good time, tipsy is the best type of intoxicated you can be. 12. Don’t be afraid to trust again. He may have torn your trusting personality to shreds but others will look at you with warm eyes and an open heart. 13. If you keep doing the same thing over and over again, nothing will change. 14. Fixing your heart is hard. 15. The pain doesn’t last forever. They will probably always mean something to you but eventually the pain is put into a tiny box in the corner of your brain, only to be opened when you need it. 16. Don’t be afraid to go on dates. Most of them won’t be that good but you’ll never know if you don’t try. 17. You deserve to be happy, despite everything.”

— E.A.B. 17 lessons I learnt in 2017 (via broken-from-memories)

[alyssawallace01]

“1. No matter how much you wish or beg someone to stay, if they don’t want to stay, they won’t. People leave when they find that it will benefit them more to do so than stay by your side. 2. Even when it feels like it, caring is not a bad thing. You cannot care or love someone too much. It is their choice to love you back with such a passion that it is equal. If they do not, it doesn’t mean that you’re caring too much. Do not love less just to match someone else’s love. You deserve better than that. So love and care without limit. One day someone will love you the same way. 3. People are going to say things about you. Society is going to try to turn you into someone that fits their standards. People are going to assume things that aren’t true just because that’s what “most people would do” in your situation. You don’t have to follow the rules. People that matter, people that care, don’t want someone like everyone else. Different is good, no matter what people will think. It’s worth it. 4. Things get better. Life is always throwing things at you, some bad and some good. The good things make it worth it. Focus on that, no matter what. Living is worth it, getting out of bed and facing your fears is worth it. It may not feel like it, but as long as you know it, one day, you’ll believe it.”

— dream-poet349,   writing prompt #62: list 3-10 pieces of advice you’d give yourself (via wnq-writers)

[unwakeable]

“You’re not a bad person for the ways you tried to kill your sadness.”

— (via perrfectly)

[olearypoetry]

[olearypoetry]

[olearypoetry]