A year ago today (12/16/2010), I was hit by a car while crossing the street...
I thank GOD every day for blessing me with the gift of life, good health, my family & friends & all the many wonderful miracles that have taken place. I also appreciate every trial & tribulation I've been through as they have all made me stronger & wiser.
Looking back, I had become complacent... Dreams & goals were being put on hold to obtain an hourly wage from a company (Bank Of America, Home Loans) who cared nothing about me. I was laid off 2 weeks after the accident leaving me with no medical benefits & causing a domino effect in my life that would subsequently lead to the loss of 'Everything' except my relationships with the people I love...
Even friends turned to foes but the hardest test of my faith came on April 4th when I got the call my cousin Fred was killed in a motorcycle accident... It took weeks for me to be able to say his name without breaking down. I asked GOD over & over again, "Why not me?" The day before he died he called me to inquire about a BBQ I have every year with some friends (I can still hear his voice). My cousin was my biggest fan so I decide to have a BBQ in his honor however it didn't turn out as expected. (I felt I had let my cousin down) It was at this point I had become discouraged & severely  depressed.
I began to cut myself off from everyone except immediate family. I would be locked up in the house for weeks at a time brainstorming with no solutions or outcomes to my problems, just over thinking everything. I didn't want to be that guy who had excuses for everything...also refused to be that person who was miserable & needed some company. It was just me, myself alone with my thoughts. Mentally imprisoned, if not for my lil' sister Deanna, I probably would have gave up. She was a shoulder to cry on & an ear to listen. Deanna only offered suggestions or her opinion when asked opposed to telling me "what you should do is", which is what I heard from so many people. Most of all, she didn't stop believing in me...
At some point (I don't remember the day) I realized it was time for me to let go & allow GOD to work. You see I would pray day & night like a lot of Christians do, however I wasn't trusting GOD was working miracles. I'd pray for a job then stress out all day about not getting hired, pray for my finances then worry about how I was gonna pay my bills. I was missing all the many blessings I was being rewarded while stressing over the few I was praying for...
I woke up one morning & said "GOD I trust you & I give all my worries over to you. I'm letting go & allowing you to work...You are in control at this point, not I. Allow me to have a positive outlook everyday while you do your thing." It was at this point I began to see a drastic change...
I began to appreciate every gift from GOD... Gifts like my grandmother who always tells me, "One day you're gonna shine". My parents, married 33 years whom I can always depend, my sister Deanna who is always one call away. The fact I could play with my nephew for hours, without worrying about how I was gonna pay my bills or take my 15 year old dog (over 100 in human years) to the park for exercise & not care if a job called are just a few things I overlooked when I was stressing. I was missing the simple things in life that are blessings we don't cherish until there gone...(like my cousin Fred)
After a few months of hard work in combination with faith, I'm happy to say my life is going in a direction I could only imagine a year ago today. I not only got a job, I got the one I wanted. I've since mended relationships that were torn during my hard times & most of all I got back my confidence, the ability to go after All of my dreams & aspirations without worry because I know my future is in GOD's hands. I still don't have all the materialistic things I lost however I'm richer in Love, Faith, my relationships and most of all I have a better understanding of what gifts GOD gives me everyday, things I can't buy with money...
I'm writing this for my cousin Fred... Cuz, I Love & miss you so much. I still don't understand why you had to go so soon but I appreciate every moment we ever spent together. I promise to live everyday like it's my last & enjoy every second of this life GOD has blessed me with...
12/16/2011 Every Day Is A Gift From GOD