[naughticals]

vce (◕﹏◕✿) VCE (⊙﹏⊙✿) VCE? (╥_╥) VCE (╹◡╹)凸

(ﾉ◕︿◕)ﾉ～『✧~*VCE*~✧』

VCE (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ 

[americantrilogy]

[americantrilogy]

[americantrilogy]

please

please

please

stop me from waiting.

[americantrilogy]

today

i will not think of you

once

(i will think of you

too many times

to count)

[americantrilogy]

sometimes

i am so full of tears

that they slowly bleed out of me for hours on end

a slow trickle of sorrow

unnoticeable and subtle

contradictory

as inside i am in turmoil

entwined feelings that cannot be extricated

raging on and on

all i can feel is a steady ache

it does not go away

[americantrilogy]

i promise you, no matter how much you don't love me,

i will always not love me more.

[americantrilogy]

i have a collection of masks,

that i wear in a collection of situations,

i never reveal too much to one person,

yet i have no secrets left to give.

the whole me is out there somewhere,

and i want you to be the one to gather the fragments.

[americantrilogy]

i am so overcome with want,

or perhaps just the idea of it.

something is swelling inside of me,

i cannot swallow it back down any longer.

i want to be your everything,

the person you think of first and most often.

the one that plagues your thoughts, and floods your memories,

the one that is tangible and tactile, malleable.

i want to be your ball of clay,

warm in your hands and moulded around you.

i want to bear the marks of you, on my skin and in my soul,

the little reminders of what we are.

i want everything, but nothing specific.

i want you. i want it all. i want all of you.

but you don't want me.

i wouldn't want me either.

[americantrilogy]

i wonder

if i will still miss

the absence of you

when you are no longer absent.

[americantrilogy]

the fear of rejection that sits deep in your bones,

that you've been conditioned to for so long,

the kind you feed, the kind that feeds you.

the lingering cloud of self-imposed inadequacy,

unfulfilled expectations that weigh heavy on your shoulders,

the unfairly drawn comparisons that cover your body like pores.

the assumptions borne from fear,

that force you to curl into yourself,

seeking refuge under a cloak of humour and confidence.

the overpowering fear of rejection,

ever-present, yet still capable of surging,

leaving you breathless and gasping.

it's a dull ache and a sharp blow all in one.

leaving me constantly reeling.

[americantrilogy]

it's an insistent buzz sitting deep in my chest,

radiating outwards and upwards,

lodged like static in my throat,

the insides of my cheeks bitten raw and puckered,

teeth set and grinding through shaky exhales,

the hopeful eyes that flicker with hopeless expectation,

this is not a good breed of anticipation,

the kind that you want to wrap yourself up in,

the kind you want to wallow in for hours on end,

the invincible, impossible kind,

this is anticipation of something that will never happen.

[americantrilogy]

ok wow i need to start doing things on here again

[sexysongs]

[americantrilogy]

I have a deep and unironic love of Christmas music, so here are a few of my favourites ❆

01. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - Slow Club

02. Winter Wonderland - Everly

03. Joy to the World - Sufjan Stevens

04. Mary’s Boy - Boney M

05. O Little Town Of Bethlehem - Elvis Presley

06. Little Drummer Boy - Destiny’s Child

07. Silent Night - Slow Club

08. Little Drummer Boy - The Supremes

09. Sleigh Ride - Spice Girls

10. Wonderful Christmas - The Shins

11. Christmas TV - Slow Club

12. Deck the Rooftop - Glee Cast

13. It’s Christmas And You’re Boring Me - Slow Club

14. Sleigh Ride - fun.

15. Feliz Navidad - Boney M

16. Blue Christmas - Bright Eyes

17. Merry Christmas (I Don’t Wanna Fight Tonight) - The Ramones

18. All My Bells Are Ringing - Lenka

19. All I Want For Christmas Is You - Lady Antebellum

20. Joy To The World - Whitney Houston

21. The First Noel - Lionel Richie

22. White Christmas - Bing Crosby

23. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - U2

[americantrilogy]

[americantrilogy]

Oh Christ I just wanted you to fuck me and then I became greedy, I wanted you to love me.

[americantrilogy]