No Retreat, No Surrender

Noah | McGuire | Taken For you fucks that don't know me, the name is Airman First Class, Noah Puckerman. I'm a gunner in the US AF, if you don't know what that is, I'm the dude in the air with the big gun, and I also shoot a big gun from a helicopter. ...

[stellamblackwell-deactivated201]

Bub will be back stateside, as they say on thanksgiving!

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

He’s still not good, still not awake, but now I’ll be able to see him..and yell at him.

[stellamblackwell-deactivated201]

How’s he feeling? 

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

He's in a medically induced coma, so I'm not sure he feels anything.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

Aftermath || Rachel/Ruth Puckerman

Tagging: Rachel and Ruth, mentions of Puck and Sarah

Where: Walter Reed Medical Center

When: Evening

Warnings: Sadness

Summary: Puck arrives back state side and Rachel sees him for the first time.

Rachel had been an emotional wreck ever since Ruth called her to tell her about the accident. Thinking he was dead scared her beyond belief because she couldn’t lose him like she had lost Finn, perhaps it was selfish, perhaps it wasn’t but she loved him and she wouldn’t let the world take the man she loved once more. Sarah and Rachel had arrived in Washington an hour ago and in caught a cab to the hospital where Puck had been taken to, they both thought they were prepared for what was waiting for them but as they walked through the halls of the hospital she could feel her heart racing faster than ever before and the panic and anxiety rising higher and higher within her. When they finally reached his door she laced her fingers with Sarah’s and held onto her hand tightly as though she were the little girl she had first met all those years ago. Together they walked into the room and surprisingly it was Rachel who broke. Seeing him lying there looking for broken was something that she genuinely hadn’t prepared herself for. In each dream he was awake, talking, interacting and she was telling him that he was an idiot and how she wanted to marry him too and have his babies. Instead she got his still body in a bed, his breaths were coming from a ventilator and her heart felt as though it had stopped as she collapsed to the floor in a pile of sobs both of happiness and sadness because while he was alive she knew that the Noah she loved was hurt and that this incident could change him entirely and she was scared, scared for him, scared for them and scared that while he was alive now she could still lose him. “Don’t take him away.’” She cried but her words were mumbled, barely audible and she was completely unaware of either of the Puckerman women in the room, her only focus was on Noah despite the way she was curled up on the floor, having a physical reaction that she never thought she’d experience again. Not in this lifetime.

Ruth: had stayed by her son’s bedside since they picked her up to take her to Germany. It had taken a while for him to stabilize enough to transport him back to the states. She had nearly collapsed when she saw him, he was restless in his sleep, they couldn’t risk putting him under, he was delirious with pain. It was the only time she held his hand and he squeezed it, once they knew the extent of his injuries they put him in a coma, and he hadn’t squeezed her hand since. She was taken back to when he was fourteen, and his head went through the coffee table, and he was laid up in a hospital bed unconscious. Though he was breathing for himself then, it was still up until this point the scariest thing she had seen. But this, they didn’t know if they could save his leg, they were worried about his arm, but mostly about brain damage. Noah survived, but would he still be her Noah? They had been state side for two hours, he was comfortable and still out cold, and she still hadn’t left him. She knew Rachel and Sarah would be there soon, and she bent down to whisper to him, “you come back for her..do you hear me..you come back for that girl”. Rachel pulled Puck out of a hole his mom was worried he’d never climb out of after losing Finn and then Quinn. He would skype her and all he would talk about was Rachel, and as much as she annoyed Ruth when they were kids, she adored the woman she had grown into. She knew by the way he spoke about her she was it, she was the only one he’d ever want, and in a way she thought it was fitting. That Noah would be the one to take care of his best friend’s girl. The moment she saw Rachel, then watched her collapse she was by her side, “Rachel honey…he’s only not awake because they don’t want him to be. He was in so much pain when I saw him, he’s so peaceful now. He’s sleeping that’s all, until he’s healed..he’s here..and he’s a hero”.

Rachel felt as though her lungs had given up on her as she struggled to take a proper breath, seeing Noah like that was something she had never prepared herself for. He had always come home to her, he had always been okay just like he promised but this time, he wasn’t. This time she wasn’t sure if he would ever be the man she kissed goodbye at the airport or if he would still love her or if he would ever come back. There were so many uncertainties and she was struggling to wrap her head around it all. As soon as Ruth was by her side talking she was gone further, clinging to the woman like her life depended on it. “I can’t lose him.” She whispered over and over, Noah had been the one who saved her. It wasn’t therapy or the walks down memory lane or even the visits she had gotten from Finn in her dreams, it was Noah. He had picked her up and rebuilt everything that was broken and now her biggest fest was losing him too. “He.. He needs to come back to us.. He had to.. He promised… He promised he was safe, that idiot promised!” She wasn’t angry at him but she was scared for him, worried about how bad his injuries were and what would happen when he finally woke up. “I need to see that ridiculous smile.. Those eyes.. I need to hear his voice..” She was torn between two worlds, the world where Finn was gone and she was in her bed at her apartment trying to cope with that and the one where she had been on the verge of losing Noah too. Memories were flooding in at full force and she wasn’t sure which way was up. “He can’t leave me.”

Ruth: wrapped her arms around Rachel, wiping her own eyes because those are the same thoughts that plagued her. But she was aware of one thing, he did remember Rachel, it was the only thing other than Finn, that he repeated in his pained haze. She cups Rachel’s chin and has her look up at her, “look at me, that boy loves you, and he wouldn’t ever leave you, it’s why he’s still here now. He was in agony Rachel, but your name he said it, I heard him, the boy in that bed still loves you. We’ll cry all we want until he opens his eyes, because then he’ll need us to be the strong ones for a while. I’m just going to tell you now, his…he might lose his leg…and there might be some brain damage..he had head trauma. But this boy had enough sense to crawl away from the helicopter and take cover, with the radio. He got up on a broken leg, cracked ribs, fractured arm, and pulled men out of that aircraft. Now..now he just needs to sleep, because for the first time in his life people will finally get to see the boy I knew was in there. He’ll be around for that, I promise you he will”.

Rachel only cried harder as Ruth explained everything to her. Glancing up at him she bit her lip nervously before slowly getting up and moving over to his side, leaning in and kissing his cheek. “I love you.” She whispered, she had no idea if he could hear her or even feel her touching him but as she closed her eyes she hoped he could. “And I want those things too okay? A wedding, kids, a dog, I want it all with you.” She added in a voice that was only loud enough to reach his ears and no on else’s. She knew that if he did lose his leg it would change him, it would alter his entire life but no matter what she had always promised to be by his side through the good and the bad and this was one of those things. Sinking down into the seat beside him she held his hand as tightly as she could in her own and kept her eyes on him, unable to look away now that she could focus properly on him. She was still scared and she knew that those emotions wouldn’t fade until she could take him home again.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

Bub will be back stateside, as they say on thanksgiving!

He’s still not good, still not awake, but now I’ll be able to see him..and yell at him.

[ssnbrittany]

Stateside, like, here? Seriously?

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

No, Walter reed, he will be there for months..

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

Um..

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

How did you decide on that?

[ssnbrittany]

I dunno. It just kinda sounded weird and not fun. Can you do better?

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

Not really, my head is kind of scattered.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

Bub will be back stateside, as they say on thanksgiving!

He's still not good, still not awake, but now I'll be able to see him..and yell at him.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

He came through surgery fine

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

I don’t know, 30 stitches.

[unstoppablerachel-blog]

He’s so lucky to even be alive.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

I just want to see him.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

He came through surgery fine

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

He has head trauma she said.

[unstoppablerachel-blog]

How bad?

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

I don't know, 30 stitches.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

He came through surgery fine

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

I wonder if he will go back.

[unstoppablerachel-blog]

It all depends on how his recovery goes I guess. I don’t see him going back though.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

He has head trauma she said.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

He came through surgery fine

Now they’re wanting to make sure he’s stable enough before they fly him to Walter Reed….Ma said he’s in bad shape…

[unstoppablerachel-blog]

He’s tough. The second we get word that they’re flying him to Walter Reed I’ll book us tickets so we can meet them there.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

I wonder if he will go back.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

He came through surgery fine

Now they're wanting to make sure he's stable enough before they fly him to Walter Reed....Ma said he's in bad shape...

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

Um..

[ssnbrittany]

Uhhh… scorpulence.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

How did you decide on that?

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

Phonecall to Puckerman household (Ruth)

Ruth: I'll do that then, I'll send it to you soon. Take care of my girl..I got him okay?

Rachel: Of course, I'll make sure she's alright. Keep me updated.

Ruth: I will.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

Phonecall to Puckerman household (Ruth)

Ruth: I can send you a picture..maybe it'll make seeing him later less..hard.

Rachel: Please? It.. it might.. I just.. God I miss him and all I want is to wrap him up in my arms and hold onto him and tell him it'll be alright.

Ruth: I'll do that then, I'll send it to you soon. Take care of my girl..I got him okay?

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

Phonecall to Puckerman household (Ruth)

Ruth: *wipes her eyes..again* How about you record yourself singing something, that way I can play it for him so you can get some rest? Then call when it's a decent hour..until we're home.

Rachel: I don't think I'll sleep until I can see him with my own eyes and hold his hand. But I can do that.

Ruth: I can send you a picture..maybe it'll make seeing him later less..hard.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

Phonecall to Puckerman household (Ruth)

Rachel: *hearing Ruth she smiled softly as she curled up on the couch.* I don't care what time it is.. if he get's like that again just call and I'll talk to him.. I'd do anything for him.

Ruth: *wipes her eyes..again* How about you record yourself singing something, that way I can play it for him so you can get some rest? Then call when it's a decent hour..until we're home.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

Phonecall to Puckerman household (Ruth)

Rachel: *nodded even though Ruth couldn't see her.* Thank you. *The moment she knew she was back at his ear she fiddled with her necklace as she tried to figure out what to say.* You're everything to me, honey. Everything. I know I can't be there right now but I love you and the second you get home I'm going to smother you in kisses and love alright? You'll get so sick of me so easily but you're stuck with me. You'll always have me. And one day we'll have mini versions of us running around. Loud, crazy, sweet and full of life.

Ruth: *watches Noah relax a little, as much as he could with as much pain as he had to be in and takes the phone back* Thank you..he's resting a little easier now.

[amn-1stclass-puckerman-blog]

Phonecall to Puckerman household (Ruth)

Rachel: *tried to hold back her tears but she couldn't at that point.* Okay.. *As soon as she heard the rustling stop she let out a shaky breath.* I love you, Noah. Hang in there for me baby.

Ruth: *pulls the phone back to her ear* He moved..he heard you..he knows your voice. I'm putting you back to his ear, he won't settle.