Death or Glory?Just Another Story

[savethelifeofmychild]

he’s not just some guy he’s bisexual

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[yallidarityforever]

gotta Google something

[yallidarityforever]

ok yeah this is funny

[crying-over-really-dumb-things]

Watching my 60 year old uptight southern white teacher brace herself to say it to a room full of ninth graders is one of those memories that remains crystal clear even years after the fact

[saints-row-2]

im only saying this once

the only acceptable jobs for spider-man

broke high schooler

broke college student

freelance photographer

high school teacher

unpaid intern

pizza delivery guy

research assistant for doomed scientific project

guy who stands on street and spins sign for quiznos

being spider-man

and thats IT i dont want any of this “hes a genius tech ceo making millions” SHIT. Spider-man is BROKE and he missed rent this month and he has a tiny apartment and thats how its MEANT TO BE. he doesnt make money because he is our Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-man and not fucking Tony Stark.

[poiplefunguy]

how about dog walker while in spiderman costume

[crutchie-morris]

you. you get it

[thequantumqueer]

im imagining “being spider-man” as his full-time gig and i just

he has a patreon. the description is just the words “I’m Spider-Man” and all he ever posts is specifically-requested selfies from people who want to be sure its really him. pinned to the top of the page is a picture from the top of the empire state building (not the observation deck, the real top) of his spider-gloved hand holding a bagel that is on fire, with 34th street in the background

[ravingsockmonkey]

Another idea: he has a craigslist listing advertising himself as being available for children’s parties and the kids love him! The adults stand around talking about how he doesn’t look like “the real Spider-man” but they make sure to say it quietly so the kids can’t hear (Spidey can of course).

He gets hired to show up to a quinceañera and ends up getting to have a fun dance party with someone dressed as Dora the Explorer while there. It ends up being his favorite type of gig since the people are the nicest to him.

[tilthat]

TIL in 1896 a temporary, one-day city was named in Texas called Crush, where two locomotives were to be smashed head-on for purposes of spectacle. It was, for a few hours, the 2nd largest city in TX with 40k attendees. The collision caused engine boilers to explode, resulting in death and injuries.

via reddit.com

[justthesource]

source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crush,_Texas

[mangonetics]

you could just do shit back then

[pyomorphic]

texas is still like this

[tyrannosaurus-rex]

[snowriddenwolf]

[oneheadtoanother]

[tachyon-log]

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

[fishmech]

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

[bunniope]

can we focus on the gnome for a second

[bunniope]

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

[ladyofspoons]

these are the people i have to share a highway with

[fyterx]

[orcbara]

i know most leftists agree that everybody should have a right to food, water, shelter, and healthcare but i think a vitally important fifth pillar is privacy. people should not be compelled to be tracked, monitored, or to share personal space with others to access their other essential rights

[lyinginbedmon]

"If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear" is and always has been fascist rhetoric everyone.

[glossiermemes]

[byjove]

To all of our brave service members trapped on the USS Lincoln right now, from the bottom of my heart I would like to say LOL.

[byjove]

“Navy sailors are killing themselves because they’re trapped on a busted ass raggedy ship with no soap and bad food.” And not because they’re tools of American imperialism fighting a monstrously cruel nothingburger war? Okay.

[byjove]

It is crazy to see politicians and random public figures come out and be like “Yeah, destroying Iranian infrastructure and bombing children is whatever but you can’t treat our brave little soldiers like this!”

[validatemylife]

Soldiers and veterans are likely more a victim of the USA military industrial complex than you are.

[byjove]

Well yeah, I didn’t roll over and lick boots, waiting to be stepped on. Victims can be perpetrators, these two things can coexist. Military recruiters can prey on low-income areas and our government can send mass amounts of young people to go die for oil and then treat them like shit when they return broken. That doesn’t erase the fact these people signed up to be tools of American imperialism, that doesn’t erase the fact they’re killing people overseas simply for their own financial gain. They are in a situation they put themselves in and they are complaining about the negative consequences that being at war and killing people is having on their brains and bodies.

[lamine-19]

“are you okay?” oh my god no but for the purposes of this conversation yes i’m fine

[agnesandhilda]

shoutout to the woman from my high school martial arts class who liked to get me in joint locks and then joke about how I was easy to catch. you cannot comprehend how psychosexually formative that was for me

[agnesandhilda]

imagine, if you will, having an adolescent half-crush on someone way older than you, which is also confusingly blurred up with admiration of them as a role model. now imagine that you and that person are in a social environment where it is acceptable to (platonically, consensually) choke someone. I think I was very normal about it considering the circumstances

[agnesandhilda]

she would demonstrate takedowns on her husband (also in the class, and who was not a small man) before we got to try them and the first time I saw her twist him around and down onto the floor like it was easy my entire abdomen clenched

[agnesandhilda]

I cannot stress enough how eager this guy was to be manhandled (womanhandled?) and flipped around by his wife. he was her de facto guinea pig whenever she got to teach and I never saw him unenthusiastic about it. he'd set himself up for a joint lock fully smiling. the other adults in the class occasionally teased him about it (being so quick to let your wife put you in a submission hold tends to raise a few eyebrows), and I always kind of wanted to defend him but what would I have said? like, don't worry. I won't judge you. I also like being pinned down by your wife

[draculaisagothwizzard-deactivat]

That last sentance really hits ya like a psychosexually formative takedown

[agnesandhilda]

[thedoubteriswise]

so much of being an ok person is just 1) not panicking, 2) not taking things personally, and 3) not letting the vindictive gargoyle that lives in your head tell you what to do. this sucks because brains love doing those things

[captain-price-returns]

Re: sailors on USS Abraham Lincoln on half rations.

[farmlesbians]

[egberts]

"i ate too many cookies" is truly an ageless problem. an unlearnable lesson.

[walmart-the-official]

Hey, don’t cry. Free online database of Japanese folk lore

[bleu-guacamole]

Might I add, free database of mostly European folklore and myths

[bogleech]

A Book of Creatures by @a-book-of-creatures doesn't update these days but is another thing along these lines, really huge, fully illustrated all by the author and cites all sources

[st-dionysus]

Free database of Native American folklore, sorted by tribe.

[saint-simulacrum]

Free online catalog of African folklore and stories because everyone loves to forget we exist

[9e978e]

via

[asteroidtroglodyte]

I do enjoy a good visual gag, and an old favorite of mine is “there is Math on a Board in the background that contextually makes no sense.” This broadly comes in 3 flavors I enjoy:

• the board is in front of a classroom, and the Math is waaay too advanced for whatever level of pupil these kids are supposed to be; like having the calculus integral in front of kindergartners, or relativistic physics in front of high schoolers.

• the board is in front of Criminals, who are Planning Something, and by all rights there ought to be no Math there to begin with. Like. You’re planning a Heist why do you have the Full Lagrangian on there. Are we taking a rocket to the bank.

• the characters are super-genius science fiction people. The Math is “Pi≈3.24” with an unlabeled pie chart.