An Actors Process

A blog about my process and the ups and downs of being an actor in training.

[anactorsprocess-blog]

Exploring movement through the body using imagery and imagination.

In early December, I asked myself a question. Can I use abstract movement to tell a story through the medium of film that is compelling and clear to the watcher? 

Movement work has been a medium that has resonated with me most over my three years of training at ALRA North, especially working with Michael Chekhov's techniques of using the imagination and imagery to create sensations and provoke movement in the body. I felt that because this work resonated with me so much, I would be best suited to taking up the role of movement director for my piece as my personal experiences with this work would help me communicate with my actors and also help me to understand their own perusal experiences when exploring imagery in rehearsal. This helped form a solid foundation for communication within rehearsal. 

Firstly, I want to explain why I chose to use Michael Chekhov’s methods instead of practitioners such as Rudolph Laban who’s work is well known and taught at most, if not all Drama Schools. As I mentioned before, my own personal experiences with Chekhov's methods have lead me to have a greater understanding of working with imagery and imagination. As an actor, I can allow my body to be free and connect to imagery in my mind and allow that to be truthful to me and as a director, I can see this work in other people, identify when the work is not truthful and understand how to collaborate effectively with actors to achieve the best results. 

I find that Chekhov’s work allows actors to be free and unbound by logical explanation, which is something that I struggle to find when i’m working with Laban technique. Laban’s definition of the exact qualities that make up an effort, such as wring, as can be seen in Jean Newlove’s Laban for actors and dancers, provides me with goals that I need to achieve instead of explore which is something that I personally find very limiting as an actor. With Chekhov's work, I can take the way the word wring feels and sounds and find an image that resonates with me. To me, wring brings to mind the image of myself being bound by silver, rusty chains in a small black box. I would then be able to take this image and allow this to move my body with freedom, safe in the knowledge that I don’t have to achieve any goals that Laban sets out for his efforts. Michael Chekhov’s work also provides my actors with a safe space to work in. In rehearsal, I would warm my actors up by engaging the body, the connection with the rest of the ensemble but also engaging the mind. We would find an image that grounded up to reality and made us feel safe and begin to explore that in the abstract. I would ask them to find the image of the sun and see the golden brightness radiating from it. I would then ask them to feel that golden brightness and the heat radiating through their bodies from the soles of their feet to the top of their head. I’d ask them to let it affect their breath and the bodies and move around the space. This would be an image that we’d come back to when we needed to shed a particularly uncomfortable image or emotion and also when we came to the end of rehearsal. This also helped me in my own practice to develop a routine for warming up my cast. 

Because Chekhov’s work is so free and open for actors to play and explore, I wanted to make sure that this was reflected in the piece. This is why I decided to keep a lot of the sections from the piece un-blocked so that my actors didn’t feel restricted. Obviously within the piece there is some blocking such as in the first section where the actors have to cross the space and also in certain sections where Agamemnon and Clytemnestra face each other but even within these sections, I didn’t provide a target or goal that my actors had to reach in terms of making a specific movement or getting to the destination in a desired time limit. I wanted the actors to focus purely on the imagery and the movement, this would allow them to be ‘in the moment’.

The text that I have explored is Steven Berkoff's adaption of Aeschylus’ Agamemnon. I chose this version of the story specifically because of Berkoff’s writing style which is brutal and sharp. When working with text, I don’t want to try and conjure up imagery myself, I want to read the words and have my mind filled with images which are a genuine response to the words in the text. After reading many different versions of the story, this version resonated most with me because of the way the words informed my mind and body. I would read text out loud and find myself seeing an image or feeling the impulse to move. From this pre-rehearsal script-work, I knew that this was the piece of text that I had to explore with a cast. I have also chosen this story because of the specifics of Greek theatre which uses chorus/ensemble work. Jacques Lecoq states in his book ‘The Moving Body’ that “The chorus is the one essential element in clearing a genuine space for tragedy, A chorus is not geometric but orgnanic. In just the same way as a collective body, it has a centre of gravity. It is a kind of living cell”. This is something which I have tried to reflect in my cast sizing and staging of the piece. When we see an ensemble working in unison on stage, the energy between them is electric, as if they are able to read each others minds. The size of the cast meant that some of the images that I wanted to present and explore, such as the army dying in the battlefields or the people of Greece celebrating the armies return, could be presented effectively by having them all present and involved on stage. I also chose this text because of the tone that it carries which is tragedy. I wanted to explore the grand emotions and imagery that the text demands from the actors and use them as colour to paint the blank canvas that was my piece. 

“Something begins to smell in this vile house/ is it the stew/ vomit-heaved that lies drying on the cracked streets/ or in the dark cellar forgotten and growing mushrooms from the slime/ under the lid/ life stirs from the death...” 

From this short sample of text, I get clear images of white, whispy vapours rising from cobbled streets, rough stone surfaces, black, wet soil and dirt. Different colours also spring to mind like a swampy green and black. In rehearsal, I often combine images to add more detail to images. An example of this would be when I worked on exploring the murder of Agamemnon with the cast. This is done by Clytemnestra when Agamemnon is in the bath. I wanted to explore the feeling of the water changing from a calm blue to a red whilst also conveying the image of murder and death. To do this, I asked my actors to explore the image of red water which was thick and ice cold. I also wanted them to imagine that the water was on the outside of the body which would mean that they were being controlled by the water instead of feeling like they were in control of the water if it was on the inside of their body. 

From the beginning I knew I that wanted the piece to be filmed although the idea of a single shot came later on in the rehearsal process. The pro’s and cons of recorded media and live performance were equal with each other in the concept stage of this piece. Live performance provides the actors with a sense of connection between them and the audience, the atmosphere is electric and the sense of engagement is strong but the final performance could be affected by nerves which would stain the quality of the movement and the focus of the actors. With recorded media, my actors don’t have a sense of connection with their audience but are under less pressure to perform and in turn, a greater sense of connection between the ensemble appears. With recorded media, I could also show the audience what I wanted to see which was key for a piece that, on stage, could have the capacity to look like a group of actors moving in the space but without a clarified journey.

I took some inspiration from the theatre company Gecko and their recorded work. Mainly their performance of The Time Of Your Life which was shot in a single take. Unfortunately, the camera in this recording doesn’t venture very close to the face of the actors so we’re not able to see much in to the inner life of the performer. In the Rite Of Spring by Pina Bausch, we get to see the face of the actors up close and see the subtleties of their performance which is something I wanted to make sure I included in my work. The idea of a single shot came later in the process after a test filming that I’d done with the cast. After reviewing the footage, I found that the piece continued to live even when the camera wasn’t focused on the actors in the space. Actors would move in and out of frame and continue to perform and this provided me, as a watcher, with the sense of the world continuing around the camera. This had the effect of watching the performance as if it was on stage but, with the use of the camera, I was able to choose what I wanted the audience to focus on. This included getting close to the actors in the space and allowing the watcher to see the nuances on the movement. By getting close I could allow the watcher to see the gaze of the actors in more detail. I believe that the gaze of the actor is incredibly important for allowing the watcher to see what is going on internally within the character. If the image inside of the actor is strong and radiating out of the body and through the eyes, it can be incredibly powerful to watch. There were a few shots which were cemented in from the start such as the over the shoulder shot where Agamemnon is facing Clytemnestra. Shots like this gave me a chance to allow viewers to see the perspective of the characters, for instance in this shot just described where I wanted the viewer to understand that Clytemnestra was in Agamemnon’s thoughts even though there was distance between them. 

The use of a single shot would also allow my actors time to prepare themselves for the next image that they were exploring. This can be seen multiple times in the piece but especially at the end of the recording when the camera pans away from the ensemble after a member of the group is places on the floor. The camera moves towards clytemnestra and then when the camera pans back to the ensemble, they are in a different formation exploring the image of the python. This was one of the main reasons why I wanted to use a single shot as my actors would have the freedom to step out of one image and in to another without that affecting the pace and visuals of the piece. 

I originally wanted to record the piece in a black box theatre with lighting but after taking inspiration from Pina Bausch’ ‘The Rite Of Spring’, I decided that the piece could be performed anywhere as long as we acknowledged the space that we were in as is done in The Rite Of Spring. The performance begins with stage-hands tipping soil into the space and then cuts between the med raking the soil out. They are clearly in a theatrical space which, apart from the soil, has not been designed to give the watcher the impression that they’re in a different world. But as soon as the lights do down and the women appear in the space, we are clear that we are in a different world, even though we have just seen the space that the piece is being performed in. This is something that I wanted to replicate in my piece as I wanted to create an atmosphere that I knew couldn’t possibly be fully realised in the world of the rehearsal studio at ALRA. This is why I chose to have the performers come in, drop their bags, close the curtains and turn off the lights before coming in to the space. This is also seen at the end of the piece when the lights come back on, the performers put on their clothes and exit the space. This provided a sense of closure to the separate world we were just in.

In terms of atmosphere, I wanted to bring a sense of the tragedy of the piece in to the space. In rehearsal, most of the music we would move to would be somber or heavy music that would get the actors used to living in that weighted space of tragedy. I ended up using one of these pieces as the song for the whole piece as I felt that it encapsulated the atmosphere perfectly. The song was called ‘VIII’ by Machinefabriek. The softness and beauty of the female vocal, contrasted with the harsh tones of the droning sounds beneath provided a dark and distorted atmosphere that the piece could live in. I also experimented with fading out the music at key moments to highlight key moments. There is a specific section where the music isn’t present but the atmosphere of the music lingers as the tension is held across the space between Clytemnestra and Agamemnon. I also wanted to visually mould the atmosphere by using a single light to illuminate the space. This light separated us from the world of the rehearsal room and the fluorescent lights that it has, but also creates a dim, harsh atmosphere. The light created shadows on the walls and would shine harshly in to the camera when it was directly facing towards it. Finally, I was keen to allow the breath and voice to be heard from the actors as these sounds would fuel the atmosphere. If they were exploring a particularly dark image such as the image of being trapped in a box that’s filling with hot, black tar, the breath and voice would be haunting and give the watcher an understanding of the pain and weight that the ensemble are feeling. If the actor is truly connecting with the image that they are working with, the breath and voice will naturally shift and fuel their connection. During rehearsal, I wanted to hear all the sounds that were produced as I felt that hearing noise from the actors would spark ideas in my mind for the piece. Chekhov states that “atmosphere deepens the perception of the spectator”. To truly engage the watcher, we would need to create an atmosphere so powerful that it would extend through the screen and pull them in so this was a key thing that I always strived for in rehearsal. 

I knew that I wanted the costumes to be minimal and not distracting or a symbol of any defined characters. I also wanted the watcher to be able to see the curves and shape of the performers body as that is the vessel that of which I am telling the story through. I decided that I wanted the women to wear nightdresses to represent the innocence of the women that were affected by the war between the Greeks and the Trojans. I wanted the men to be topless and wear shorts so that we could see the muscularity of the body and imagine them as soldiers in battle. Although these clothes provide us with stereotypes of the roles of men and women at the time, I was keen to ensure that the movement was not effected or defined by this and so I never clearly defined these interpretations to the cast in rehearsal as to not subconsciously influence their movements. 

In reflection, i’m very happy with the final product that i’ve achieved. I had a great experience working as a movement director with a cast of incredibly talented individuals who allowed me to explore my own practice whilst they explore their own. I’ve learnt a lot on how to develop myself as a movement director going forward such as how to effectively warm up my cast and how to collaborate and discuss ideas with them. I don’t know what will be next for me in terms of my career as a movement director but i’m very excited for whatever the next step may be.

REFERENCE LIST

-Newlove, J. (2010). Laban for actors and dancers. New York: Routledge.

-Lecoq, J. (2000). The moving body. United Kingdom: Bloomsbury Publishing Inc., p.139.

-Berkoff, S. (1990). Agamemnon. Amber Lane Press.

-Gecko (2016). Time Of Your Life. [video] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PQpxi7h_rc [Accessed 10 Apr. 2019].

-Chekhov, M. (1953). On the technique of acting. New York, NY: Harper and Row, p.48.

-Pina Bausch (2017). Pina Bausch - Extract from the Rite of Spring. [video] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VqaGkKQRCU [Accessed 10 Apr. 2019].

Rutger Zuydervelt, R. (2019). VIII. [Online] Western Vinyl. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLWisQmIF-g [Accessed 10 Apr. 2019].

[anactorsprocess-blog]

Abstract Movement.

Question: Can I use abstract movement to tell a story through the medium of film that is compelling and clear for the watcher?

I am interested in exploring the medium of abstract movement and how I can tell a raw and engaging story using only the body. The story that I’ll be telling is Steven Berkoff’s adaption of Agamemnon, originally written by Aeschylus. I’ve chosen this adaption because of the way it is written and how the words that are used create vivid images in my mind which meshes really well with my movement process, inspired by Michael Chekhov's work in which he uses imagery as a stimulus for movement.

“Something begins to smell in this vile house/ is it the stew/ vomit-heaved that lies drying on the cracked streets/ or in the dark cellar forgotten and growing mushrooms from the slime/ under the lid/ life stirs from the death...”

(Berkoff, S, 1990)

From this short sample of text, I get clear images of white, whispy vapours rising, cobbled streets, rough surfaces, soil and dirt. Different colours also spring to mind like a swampy green and black. This text is rich with inspiration and will give me a lot to work with as I explore imagery with my actors and through this exploration, I’ll be able to refine the imagery that we use for our stimulus and therefore be able to slowly piece together the story and use each image as a marker for each part of the journey. Chekhov says for the images “To complete themselves, to reach the degree of expressiveness that would satisfy you, they will require your active collaboration. What must you do to perfect them? You must ask questions of these images” (Chekhov, 1953). This is what I intend to do with my actors, not as a singular entity though but ask questions and collaborate as an ensemble to refine our imagery and find the core of the emotion that we’re exploring.

I’ve been heavily inspired by the work of Pina Bausch, especially by her extract from the Rite of Spring (Pina Bausch – extract from rite of spring, 2017). The movement that is featured blurs the line between dance and abstract movement but manages to tell a coherent story that is engaging. I’m very interested in playing around with taking movement that we discover during rehearsal and using that movement, through repetition, to enforce or emphasise key parts of an emotional journey. Pina’s work has also made me consider the use of an ensemble instead of a singular actor. An ensemble is a powerful force when they’re all connected and working together and they demand attention when on stage. The ensemble also fits well with the theme of the Greek style as the chorus tells and progresses the story for the audience. The camera that films Pina’s work is also useful in bringing to attention key things that the viewers need to see such as bringing into focus the red shawl as the women gather as a chorus in the background. This frame shows the viewer that the red shawl is of some importance and that the women have a connection with it or that they are moving because of it.  

I also want to experiment with the use of sound which comes from the movement to see if that affects my response to the piece. Does the sound that is produced make me feel anything? Can a sound that is produced during rehearsal be developed and used in a different way such as part of the soundtrack of the piece or to create an atmosphere? I’ll ask my actors to begin with using breath whilst moving and, from there, allow their voices to be free and allow any sound that comes to them to be released. An example would be if we physicalized the pain of Agamemnon being murdered through movement. If we put an image to that scene, say the image of being caught up within the waves of the ocean, tumbling under the water, but the waves that are moving you around are boiling hot, I would ask my actor to let the breath be free and, on impulse, release any sound that is brought about by the movement. I think if the actor is connected to their breath and fully in the moment and connected to their imagery, the sound that is produced would be quite frightening which would, in turn, create an emotional response within myself.

Along with sound that comes from the body, I also plan on experimenting with recorded sound. I have been listening to the work of Nils Frahm, a German composer, who creates beautiful classical and electronic music (Nilsfrahmcom, 2019). The soft piano chords and writhing electronic undertones could work as a soundtrack to the piece if the correct pieces are found. I’m looking for music that suits the atmosphere of the piece or the inner journey of one of the characters. Music can drastically change and create an atmosphere and really draw you in to what is going on. In contrast to this, the use of no music and instead just using sound from the body could also be quite powerful and I’m keen to explore both ideas. The silence in the space would be quite powerful and help to hold a lot of energy and tension in the space, this would also make any sound that is made more impactful and meaningful.

i’m incredibly excited to begin working practically on my PRP and start exploring this rich text with an ensemble of talented actors. 

Reference list:

Pina Bausch – extract from Rite of the Spring, 2017, YouTube video, added by Romain Camiolo [online], available at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VqaGkKQRCU(accessed 02 December)

Nilsfrahmcom. 2019. Nilsfrahmcom. [Online]. [10 January 2019]. Available from: http://www.nilsfrahm.com/

Chekhov. M (1953). (P23) To The Actor. New York: Harper & Row

Berkoff, S (1990). Agamemnon. Chalbury: Amber Lane Press.

[anactorsprocess-blog]

It’s been a while...

Hi

It’s been a while, I know. 

I’ve missed you a lot but i’ve had a few things on. 

I’ll give you a summary of everything that has been going on so far...

Oppenheimer -

Our first third year show, directed by the amazing Helen Parry and written by Tom Morton-Smith. Oppenheimer is a play about the father of the Atomic Bomb, J. Robert Oppenheimer. The play questions the morality of building and using the bomb on the people of Hiroshima whilst telling the story of the men and woman behind the Manhattan Project. 

The play went down a treat and the response from our audiences were great. People were questioning the morality of the use of the bomb, some people were hearing about this story and these amazing people for the first time and some people even had direct connections to things mentioned in the play such as the Nova Scotia explosion. 

When we heard we were doing this play, we knew it would be great but I don’t think any of the cast expected it to be received this well. 

The Trinity Test (Photo’s by Sophie Giddens Photography)

This has also been our first time working with professional set and costumes. It’s also been our first time working professionally in our own rehearsal room with our own stage manager. The experience has been very challenging but, at the same time, very enlightening as to what being a working actor is like. The entirety of the cast brought their A-game to every rehearsal and that’s one of the main reason why the play worked so well. The amazingly talented cast. 

Klaus Fuchs (Photo’s by Sophie Giddens Photography)

We’ve now finished our 4 show run and were delighted to have a nearly full house on most nights, selling out completely on Friday night. 

Film scenes -

We’re now beginning to film our showreel scenes. We’re working with Chris Cronin and his team for the next three weeks, shooting two scenes per day. This will be a great chance to work in front and behind the camera again, an odd feeling after doing 5 weeks of theatre work!

I’ll keep you updated on what’s happening with the scenes. Here are a few shots from the scenes that the other half of my year filmed...

Megan Porter in ‘New School’

Charles Phillips In ‘Last Christmas’

Adam Fenton and Maddie Troup in ‘Against The World’

Summer - 

Summer was great! I did barely anything. I went for a lot of coffee’s and saw a lot of friends. I used it as a time to clear my mind and reground myself, as I do for every holiday now. I did use some time to do work on Oppenheimer and I worked a lot at The Old Courts too. I got a car and learnt that I need to manage my money better. Petrol is expensive...

The Gestures - 

We formed a band! More importantly, we formed a skiffle band. We’re called ‘The Gestures’

After working on a project at Wigan Little Theatre, for which we needed to form a skiffle band, we decided to stay together and continue to work on music considering how popular we were at this project. On the last night of the show, the audience wanted an encore. They all got on their feet and clapped along. It was a surreal experience. 

We went on to win ‘Wigan’s Got Talent’ which was great! Now we’re going on holiday in December to write music and relax in the woods of Whinfell Forest, Cumbria. The band is made up of myself, Tom, Lauren and Curtis. They’re really talented musicians and great at what they do and they are my best friends. 

Myself and Curtis trying to be edgy

Lauren and Tom being edgy

We’ve got a gig this weekend at The Royal Oak! You should come down and see us if you can.

In Summary -

I’ve been a way for a long time and I apologise, mainly to myself but also to people who enjoyed reading my ramblings. I’m going to try and start this again as it was a great way to clean up my mind and sum up my weeks. There’s a lot more to talk about now too! 

I hope that you’ll join me on whatever this journey is and that you enjoy reading what I have to offer. 

Thanks for coming back (or joining me)

See you soon...

Stuart

X 

[anactorsprocess-blog]

Catalogue Submission

Imagery

Learning from my experiences from the past few projects at ALRA North, I’ve found that the use of imagery to define the emotions that my character feels in a scene helps me find a strong connection to my character. This work has been developed when I’ve worked with Elen Benfield on her movement based Personal Research Project (Benfield, 2018) which referenced the work of Michael Chekhov (Chekhov, 1953). 

When I work with the use of imagery, I always move it in the abstract first before taking it into the pedestrian (every day movement). My favourite Chekhov quote is “The oftener and more intently you look into your image, the sooner in you it awakens those feelings, emotions and impulses necessary to your performance of your character” (Chekhov, 1953).

I feel that, personally and in agreement with Chekhov’s way of thinking, I need to see and feel the image take over my whole body for a sustained period of time so that I can seek out sensations and emotions that this image sets off in my body.

Imagery assists me in finding the placement of the breath in the body, different levels of tension and my inner tempo. I always start off with finding the everyday version of the character. This base, for example, would be the character (Macduff) on a normal day where nothing has influenced him. The image that I used for this base was a burning sun that was orange and hot. I pictured the sun in my diaphragm and imagined the heat and colour to be spread throughout my body, powering it from the inside. With this, I found a centred and grounded breath, a strong, held tension in the body and a powerful gaze. 

Now from this ‘base’, I could change the image and fully be able to feel the shift of breath, tension and emotion. After working with each different image for a good enough period of time where I can easily connect to it, I simply on have to think of the image and my breath will immediately shift along with bodily tension and emotion which is perfect for rehearsal when I’m required to play in the moment.

I also felt that for performance of Shakespeare, the use of imagery would help me access the heightened states of emotions that Macbeth demands from all of the characters more so than such techniques as emotional memory from Stanislavski’s work (Stanislavski, 2013). When I’ve worked with emotional memory in acting lessons (Blake, 2017) I’ve found that I tend to push when trying to use emotional memory. This pushing affects me vocally and physically which stops me from working with ease and in turn, this hinders the performance. Kristen Linklater says “If the voice is limited by habit and tension, it will limit the transmission of the imagination” (Linklater, 2014). When using imagery, I always find myself to be free, even in the tensest of moments, because I’m feeling it, there’s no vocal tension because I’m allowing my body to be affected by the imagery naturally rather than forcing it to behave with a certain emotion.

 Physical action

I didn’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about how Macduff moved in the space, I just wanted to get up and experiment with it. I spent a lot of time finding his grounding, his gate and his level of tension. I felt that Macduff was a very down to earth character and I wanted to really build a connection with the ground and the earth through my feet to give off a sense of the strong, level headed man that I was playing. What helped with finding my grounding was the dropping of the breath which I’ve explained in the previous point. I was surprised at how much the act of thinking about grounding influenced my lines. They became more direct, instructional and knowledgeable.

Once finding this strong grounding, I moved on to bigger gestures. These were mainly fighting gestures such as stabs, slices and blocks. Using the image of the orange sun to power my movements and the strong grounding I had found, I was able to physically embody Macduff. Now, before going on and doing a scene, I only need to think about the imagery and perform one of these ‘psychological gestures’ to physically embody the character.

Sense of space and place

A key thing I wanted to consider in this project was the sense of place and space. Where was Macduff and how does the location that he’s in influence how he feels. This sense of space and place links back to the use of imagination to influence emotion. In movement with Michael, we learnt about atmospheres and how different atmospheres interact with each other (White, 2018). I was interested to see how the atmosphere of a space and location would affect Macduff. This also helped me to find where Macduff sat in the world of the play, what his relations were to other characters and how their atmospheres affected him.

In terms of location, I had to spend some time looking at images of real castles and Scottish fields. Here are some examples - 

(Scottish Rural Network, 2018)

(Undiscover Scotland, 2018)

With the use of these images, more questions were raised about what was the air like, temperature, what does the ground feel like, how big/enclosed is the space? All of these questions helped to build a stronger sense of the world and where Macduff stands within it. Michael Chekhov says “If the actors, director, author, set designer and often, the musicians have truly created the atmosphere for the performance, the spectator will not be able to remain aloof from it but will respond with inspiring waves of love and confidence” (Chekhov, 1953). It was important to me that the world was built fully so that I could live as the character in the space so that, in the end, the audience would be able to connect with Macduff and his story.

Reference list

Benfield, E. (2018). Personal Research Project

Chekhov. M (1953). (P26) To The Actor. New York: Harper & Row

Stanislavski. (2013). An Actor Prepares. Reprint. London: Bloomsbury Academic

Blake, A. (2017). Acting For Camera

Linklater, K. (2014). (P9). Freeing The Natural Voice. Vancouver, B.C.: Langara College

White, M. (2018). Movement lessons

Scottish Rural Network. (2018). Available at https://www.ruralnetwork.scot/news-and-events/news/call-evidence-experience-concentrated-land-ownership (Accessed: 14 June 2018)

Undiscover Scotland. (2018). Available at https://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/cawdor/cawdorcastle/index.html (Accessed: 14 June 2018)

Chekhov. M (1953). (P48) To The Actor. New York: Harper & Row

[anactorsprocess-blog]

Rules for Living

“Because acting’s just a hobby, isn’t that right General? Definitely not a viable career option! No, Sir!”

On our first day of rehearsals, Jayne asked us what we wanted to get out of this project. My main goal was, in the final performance, to be ‘in the moment’ when performing and just play the scene, not the research. A hard task it seemed. It would require me to let go of all of my worries, inhibitions and fears and just completely relax into the scene. Did I manage to do it? I’ll talk about this again at the end of the blog...

I’ve talked a lot about what we’ve done in rehearsals over the past 6 weeks so i’ll keep this blog away from that and more about what I got out of this project and what i’ve learnt from it.

1: Get out of the house more

This is on of the first things that I learnt from this project. One weekend we’d gone to the Trafford Centre for the day and i’d got no money at the time (I never usually have money) so I’d decided to bring some work with me. I went and sat in my usual work place when I work outside of my bedroom, Starbucks, and began to work. Within the space of an hour, and fuelled by coffee, I had learnt how to bowl a cricket bowl, learnt the rules of cricket and what all the terms mean, researched Glen McGrath and done some lovely highlighting of my script.

I’m terrible when it comes to working in my bedroom. I think it’s too informal of an environment. There are so many distractions in my bedroom and I always find myself drawn to them and never to my work. So I think the best thing to do is to get out of the house. Go and find somewhere to work in public. Starbucks is always a good choice. There’s lots of interesting people to watch and interact with, there’s good music, good coffee and big tables. They have WiFi too! Whenever I need to focus and have a clear head, from now on, i’m just going to go somewhere like Starbucks and work. I’ve found that it works better for me than in my own house.

2: You can only play one emotion

This might sound obvious and I know it is but let me explain it and it will become clearer. For too long i’ve been plagued by the idea that you as the actor need to play this mix of emotions to clearly show the audience what the character is feeling at one time. This isn't possible. It might sound stupid that i’ve only just figured this out but trust me, it’s not. I’d had so many inner thoughts to myself about trying to convey to the audience what was going on inside my character as for most of the third scene, I sat in silence and said nothing. Trying to show this inner life was kind of important to me. Not in the sense of ‘I want to show the audience that i’m capable of layering as an actor’ but more in the sense of ‘I want the audience to see the internal struggles of this character’. It was only a couple of weeks ago that i’d come to the conclusion that this can’t be shown on your face. You’d end up just ‘showing’ and that’s never good. So I settled with playing a single emotion. Being in the moment and not trying to present the characters internal struggle to the audience. Just letting it happen instead. Playing one emotion and relying on the inner life that i’d developed to provide the rest. If i’ve done the inner work, it will show without me trying to force it. 

3: Find the truth

In the first week of rehearsal whilst we were still playing around, I made the silly mistake of reminding everybody that we should make sure that everything we did was based in truth. Although this is true when it comes to all acting, it probably wasn’t best to be brought up in the first week of rehearsal whilst we were still playing around with the piece. I think not limiting yourself in the first week is a good thing. Not putting any restraints on yourself and just saying ‘fuck the rules’ is good as you’ll probably come across lots of interesting things. So do don’t that in week one.

Now i’m going to go on and completely contradict that point. 

I think finding the truth in everything is so key. Especially in the absurdities of Rules For Living. My character had to speak in different accents and voices to mock other characters. The character of Mathew had to sit down and eat when telling a lie. The character of Edith had to clean to calm herself down. Carrie had to stand and dance around to tell a joke until she got a laugh. We all had to do things that were verging on the absurd and for them to work, we all had to find the truth in the impulses to do these things and the reasons why they do these things. Only by doing this would we be able to create believable characters that the audience could invest in. I’m happy to say that I think I did find the truth in my character through all his insecurities, his past, his marriage and his family relations. After 6 weeks, my perception of Adam shifted completely from what I thought I saw on the surface to the sad man underneath. 

4 Be in the moment

Yes, I managed it. I was surprised at first because before we performed, I found myself to be quite nervous. We’d switched performance rooms last minute, I couldn’t find the lines in my head, everything started to go west! But maybe these distractions helped. From what I remember, I got up and started talking and that was it. Everything that was being said was being driven by an impulse and a need to say it. This sounds quite self congratulatory right now and it is because i’m proud of myself for achieving this. It’s a large step in what’s been a 4 year process so far since college. To finally be able to do this for a prolonged period of time in front of an audience was liberating. To rely completely on all the impulse work i’d done, it made me feel good. I feel good talking about it. 

In conclusion:

I’m very happy with how this project went overall. It’s been a fun one in which i’ve had the pleasure of watching my class develop fun and layered characters. I knew after doing Lorca that I needed some comedy in my life and i’m blessed that i’ve been able to do this project. Our director has been lovely and guided us all to a place of security and enjoyment. I’ve had a lot of fun playing Adam and will be sad to see him go.

Now we move onto the Shakespeare project next term...

There will be no blog next weekend as there’s nothing to blog about. I’ll do a term 2 summary during the holiday that we have and then the blog will start again, weekly, from term 3, week 1.

Thanks for reading! 

Stuart

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Week 9

This past week has been my final week of taught lessons at ALRA for term 2 so the week has been mainly rounding things off that we’ve been learning over the term. The pressure is still on though in terms of our performance of Rules for Living and our character voice assessment. 

One of the biggest things that has happened this week was our ‘preview’ performance of Rules for living to the foundation group. I say preview, it was more of a rehearsal performance just to test if what we’d done worked in front of an audience. I think we were all surprised with the positive reaction that we got from them. I think it’s easy for things to become stale in rehearsal after repeating things time and time again. It was really nice to see the work that we’ve all put in be appreciated by outside eyes and I think it’s put us in a place of confidence before we perform on Tuesday.

Note session with Jayne after our preview run.

This week we did an interesting exercise with Kieran which built on what we’d worked on a couple of weeks ago which was working via sensation and impulse. We started with the same movement exercise we did last week and then moved on to working with clay which was interesting to say the least. We moulded the clay whilst focusing on sensations that we felt and then moved on to working with a partner, sitting back to back, and continued to mould with sensation. I’m still trying to process this exercise to writing about it is proving to be hard. We then moved on to working with a developed version of the text we worked with a couple of weeks ago. This time we began by working with imagery and words cut out from newspapers to map out a visual journey for our characters. it was really interesting and I found that working with the imagery and words really helped ground the emotional journey of the character. We then got up and started walking around the space and interacting with others. Like I said, i’m still trying to process this work so i’ll probably talk about it more after our catch up lesson with him next week. 

I’ve found that the lessons, over the past term, with Gary have really helped me develop my vocal warm-up to a place where I can comfortably get myself warm within a short space of time. This has made limbering up in the mornings so much easier. I’ve sometimes found limbering up in the morning hard to bring myself to do and I know I should do it but sometimes I can’t help but not do it. That’s down to pure laziness. Over the past couple of weeks though I’ve made the conscious effort to do it and it’s really improved my mood and attitude in the mornings. It grounds me and focuses me and it’s always satisfying to comfortable shout ‘Heeeeeey’. 

Kate’s movement lessons have been rounded up for the term. I’m always sad when we have to finish working with Kate for the term because I feel like her lessons always open me up to play and allow me to re-connect with my inner child and my imagination. I’m going to make the conscious effort this holiday to attend her pilates classes in Manchester just so that I can stay connected to my breath and body whilst not in ALRA. We talked about this on Wednesday about how, in third year, you don’t do any movement and how, by not doing it, you lose connection to things you didn’t even know you were connected to. I’m going to try and continuously attend her Manchester classes in third year too. 

We also filmed our acting for camera scenes on Friday afternoon. This was a really interesting experience as we had the entirety of the afternoon to act and then be on the film crew. I think myself and Emily managed to do well on our scene from Black Mirror. We filmed it quite quickly as it wasn’t too technically difficult and we’d already had a couple of rehearsals with it on the Thursday. I’m excited and slightly nervous to see how it looks. Here’s a couple of pictures from the afternoon -

Mark, Megan, Ian and Patrick’s scene.

Megan, Harriet and Charlotte’s scene.

Maddie and Charlie’s scene.

I’m in two minds about writing a blog for week 10. I don't know whether to do a summary in week 11 of both of the weeks or do two separate blog posts for week 10 and 11 along with a summary of the term. We shall see.

Thanks for reading the blog this week. As always, it’s appreciated. Thank you for coming on this journey with me.

Stuart

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Week 8

I’m taking time out of the house this week to write the blog. I usually write the blog late at night in my bedroom but part of me wanted to get out of the house today. So i’m here in Starbucks with a Caramel Macchiato and a spicy chorizo and cheese hot box and i’m ready to write! 

This week has been an enjoyable one. It began with our acting through song showing in our enrichment session. This was performed in front of the first years, foundations and Post Graduates. We each performed solo or in a group/duet. It was incredible to see people who I knew struggled to sing in public actually do it with confidence and absolutely smash it. There’s something liberating in that I think. I think it’s moments like this when you take a step back and appreciate other peoples processes as I mentioned in an earlier blog. I cannot put into words how proud I am of some of the people who’ve gone above and beyond and broken down barriers to get up on stage and do that.

We also began recording our radio plays with Emma. I didn’t really do much in the lesson but it’s always a pleasure to sit and listen to her direction and her knowledge of the art of radio performance. I’ll be getting up on the microphone this Tuesday so i’m sure i’ll be able to talk about that in next weeks blog.

Rehearsals for Rules for Living are slowly coming to a close as we head into our last week. In this past week, we began with going into detail with Act 2, Scene 3 which is my final scene as Adam. This is a rather tough scene for me. Not because of the lines or the speed but mainly because of the long gaps where my character doesn’t speak. I’m struggling to find what’s going on internally during these blank spaces when Adam isn’t speaking. Is he just listening or is there something going on inside? I’m drawn to something internal but i’m struggling to make a choice which is a problem! Just make a choice mate! That’s something I need to find this week. We’ve also been playing around with how we let the audience know when the rules are active. We began with using pieces of paper with the words ‘Rule active’ and ‘Rule in-active’ on them but we found that this became quite distracting as the play went on. We then played around with ringing a bell and then saying “(Character name), rule, active” which seemed to work better surprisingly and wasn't as distracting as we’d thought it might be. I’m looking forward to a challenging final week of rehearsal. I hope it’s not too stressful!

The movement lessons this week have been quite playful. This term has been a great term for not thinking about things too much and just throwing myself in to stuff. I possibly enjoy Kate’s movement lessons way too much and it’s a shame that we have to stop for a break before beginning again next term! 9 Weeks is not enough! Kate really helps you find a connection as a class and as an individual. It’s hard to explain if you’ve not had a class with her. Michael is great too! His understanding of Lecoq and Chekhov is great and i’ve really enjoyed the atmosphere work we’ve been doing with him over this past term. I also managed to write a blog about imagination and movement which you should read if you haven’t! I think it’s quite good and it puts the change in my movement process into clear and concise words. It’s the blog post below this one.

That’s really been it this week. The term is coming to a close and this next week is our last week of set classes before we enter weeks 10 and 11. I hope everybody has a great week this week.

Thanks for reading!

Stuart

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Imagination and movement

The main reason why I started this blog was because I was feeling trapped within the bounds of logic and reason. This was mainly caused by my struggles when I worked with Laban. Today, as part of my blog, I want to talk a little more in depth about this struggle and about the steps i’ve made in class to get around this block. 

I’ve always enjoyed movement. Ever since starting at Drama School i’ve found it’s helped me to express myself in ways that acting and voice cannot. Over the first year of my training, I mainly worked from action into imagination and then into emotion. This worked by finding the movement of the effort first and then letting that affect the imagination which would in turn, create an emotion. This process worked for a while but after beginning second year, especially when working with Laban, I became more and more conscious of the fact that I was ‘playing’ the effort instead of embodying it. This made working with the efforts extremely stressful to do. 

We played with an exercise in the first term where we had to enter a room, take off our coat and shoes and sit down. This had to be done whilst embodying one of the laban efforts. It was here that I first noticed that I was ‘playing’ the element. For example, if I chose to play the effort of punch, I would stomp into the room with sharp, sudden movements and open the door as directly as I possibly could. It ended up being basic and bland. I was just playing the elements of punch, those being direct, heavy and quick. There was no feeling or emotion driving the actions.

I knew that if I was going to continue to work as an actor, I would need to rekindle my love and enjoyment of Laban. Dymphna Callery says in ‘Through The Body’ that it is “essential to grasp the principle of moving from impulse to action”. I knew that it would be key for my development as an actor to keep all my options open and find a way to make Laban work for me. If I could find a way for my imagination to drive an impulse to move then I would be on the right tracks. As stated earlier, when working with Laban, I’d never worked from the imagination first into movement. I thought that this should be something that I should try as I am quite an imaginative person.

When I began working from imagination first, I immediately felt a shift in the quality of movement that I was producing. The image that I pictured in my head caused a shift in breath and from this, a shift in emotion. This image and emotion then produced the movement. It was clear and truthful compared to my earlier work and I actually felt something emotionally in my body. 

In one of Michael’s lessons we played with how heavy and light sit in the body. At first I was slightly worried that I’d resort to playing the element with my body physicality which, at the start of the lesson, I did do. After a few minutes though, I stopped to question if what I was doing was truthful or if I was just ‘showing’ heavy. I paused, closed my eyes and took a couple of breaths. Michael Checkov in ‘To The Actor’ says the “more intently you look into your image, the sooner it awakens in you those feelings, emotions and will impulses so necessary to your performance of this character”. With this knowledge, I clearly pictured an image of a weight hanging from my chest and my breath dropped straight away. It dropped deeper and with that, my physicality shifted, mainly in my chest. This, in turn, created a truthful physicality and character. I didn’t have to think about what my physicality would be. My imagination and my breath chose it for me.

Through working with Kate, another of our movement teachers, I have found the play of working with others in a movement environment. This sense of play has helped fuel my imagination in many ways. Recently, we have been working with weight and swings. One of the exercises we do is finding different ways down to the floor. We start by standing in the space and letting one part of the body lead us down to the ground, we then sink into the floor and after a while we find a way to come back to standing. We then walk around the space and do it in reaction to other people doing the same thing. This really brings out a sense of play in the work. Something that has become apparent to me is the fact that when you play within the rules of the exercise but don’t aim for getting it right, you tend to get more interesting and surprising results that drive the imagination. For example, you might fall to the ground with another person and get the image of somebody tripping over or two children playing in a playground. In ‘Through The Body’, Dymphna Callery says “To be childlike, in the sense of being perpetually open to discovery, is the aim of play”. I fully agree with this statement. I know for a fact that finding the sense of play in the work has opened up my imagination to things I might not have thought of. Being childlike and open to new things fuel my imagination.

I now feel like i’m in a more secure place when I work with my imagination combined with movement and i’m excited for future developments in my process when it comes to this. I’ve got many more opportunities over my last term of training to focus on developing my work from imagination and sensation to drive my movements. Of course, i’ll continue to work with this in other projects and lessons too such as our acting projects and voice projects.

Thanks for reading this blog post. Writing a personal blog has really helped me log the positives and negatives of my actor training and it’s given me chance to reflect at the end of each week on what’s gone on for me. Since beginning writing the blog, lots of changes and realisations have already happened and i’m sure there are many more to come! 

Thanks!

Stuart

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REFERENCES:

- Callery, D. (2001), Through the Body, London, Nick Hern Books

- Chekhov, M. (1953), To the actor on the technique of acting, New York, Harper and Row Publishers.

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Week 7

Another late blog this week. Sorry again for anybody who was anticipating it as i’m sure everybody does... I’ve been crushed under a pile of work all weekend so by the time it came to write the blog, I was way too tired to even think about what I did last week! I’m in a clearer frame of mind now though!

Last week was a really movement heavy week! I feel like I moved more last week than I have in ages. We had a great first lesson with our vice principal, Kieran, who has taken over teaching our creativity lessons. He’s an incredible movement teacher who is so full of knowledge and really pushes you to explore and just go for it. We looked at following impulse and working with sensation. One of the excesses we looked at was involved Kieran banging on a drum as we led on the ground and when we felt a sensation in our body, we had to get up and move with the place in our body in which we felt the sensation. It was really interesting to follow those sensations and just go with it. You didn't need to think about anything, you just needed to follow the impulse. We then looked at how this sensation could translate into a short, non-scripted scene. The script went as follows:

A is sat.

B enters. They know that A knows

A turns around and see’s B. They know that B knows that they know.

B takes a step forward.

We had to listen to a song that reminded us of the character we were playing and then move into that scene after listening to that song for a minute. To stay grounded in the scene and our characters, we’d think of the music we’d listened to and then move when we felt a sensation or an impulse within our bodies to do something. 

I really enjoyed doing this and I think it’s something you can easily forget to do when you rehearse and play a scene. Sometimes you just say the lines without feeling the impulse to say them and It just reminded me of how important that impulse to say and to do is.

We’ve also been doing a lot of Laban work with another of our movement teachers, Kate. This work has been linked to our project play, Rules for Living so we’ve worked with our scene partners during this work. We’ve been playing around with the different efforts and how they might relate to our characters and how they interact with other characters. This work has been great for my continued work with using internal images to help me move instead of working with the breakdowns of each element. So instead of working from action to imagination to emotion, i’ve been working from imagination to action to emotion or sometimes imagination to emotion and to action. It varies but I now always begin with imagination. The laban work has continued to inform me on my character in ways that I hadn’t thought of before. He’s become more petty, more mopey and more argumentative than he was originally but it all seemed right when I worked with Meg who plays Sheena, Adams wife, in the play.

I’ve also gotten back to working with Elen on her PRP project. This week we recorded it and worked on getting the foundation of the piece together with a solid through line of all the images that would be used to insight movement in my body. It’s tiring but it’s great to be working collaboratively with Elen on something that means a lot to her and she’s helped me learn a thing or two and pushed me to just go all out with movement.

In terms of challenges i’ve faced this week, I think a big one would just be finding the drive, among all the work we’ve got to do, to do work and get it out of the way. I found myself in the odd position on Thursday of having a free session to do work but having so much work to do that I ended up doing no work because I couldn’t decide what to work on. i just need to find that drive to power through and prioritise the most important work first. It’s getting harder as the term progresses and that’s what I expected to happen. It’s not a bad thing necessarily. It’s what i signed up for but it’s tough, there’s no doubt about that.

Hopefully next week I won’t be late with posting my blog but we’ll have to see. 

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading and I shall speak to you all again on Sunday!

Stuart

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Week 5 and 6

I forgot to blog about week 5. I genuinely did. I only remembered about it on Wednesday and by then it was too late. So here’s two weeks mashed into one blog post.

Week 5 at ALRA is a bit different to other places. When I was in first year it was an assessment week for the school with maybe one or two workshops thrown in and a day off on the Friday if you were lucky. This year, because of the longer rehearsal period for plays, week 5 is a catch up and rehearse week. We come in to catch up on lessons that might have been missed in the previous 4 weeks and also continue to rehearse our project plays in the usual time slots.

We continued to play around with our play which has been fun. I’ve been really focused on trying to ground my character in truth before pushing him to extremes and it’s paying off. The research and work that i’ve done so far on my character is slowly settling in and my process is working well this time when compared to my last project. 

So that was week 5...

Week 6 has been an interesting one. I’ve seen two shows this week. The first show I saw was Winter Solstice at HOME and the second show I saw was The Almighty Sometimes at the Royal Exchange Theatre. 

Winter Solstice was a tough one for me to like really and has proven to be one of the most subjective plays i’ve seen. Reviews of the play talked about how it contained references to contemporary issues such as Trump and Nazi’s but, to me, none of that came across. It was hard for me to understand what was going on. I felt quite distanced from the piece, mainly because of how it was written, almost as if it were a novel being spoken on stage and the paragraphs divided up between the cast. I felt like I needed to have read a couple of very informative books before going and seeing the show. It wasn’t all bad though, the actors were good and I was happy to have been reunited with Felix Hayes who had played Rochester in the National Theatre’s Jane Eyre when it toured the UK. He was cracking and he has a great, unique voice. 

The Almighty Sometimes was a great show. A really powerful look at mental health and Bipolar disorder. The cast were great and Julia Hesmondhalgh really knocked it out of the park. Her presence is so powerful but she never steals the limelight or goes in search of it, she just sits/stands in the space and is there. Present. Norah Holden was also cracking as Anna. A really sensitive, committed performance which was truthful all throughout. I needed to see this play. I love the Royal Exchange and they’re always putting on interesting and creative work be it new or old.

As for my learnings this week, i’ve learnt that i’m not too bad at radio after all. We got to listen back to some recordings that we’d done in week 5 and I have to say I was quite happy with it. I could hear that the work I had put in to the script had come across on mic and the final product was really nice. Now I just need to tone down on my resonance.

We also recorded a short scene in acting for camera which focused on different close ups. The shot gradually got tighter and tighter the more intense the script got. It looked really good when we watched it back. The really tight shots were intense and I looked good too! That was nice to see. It’s possibly one of the first times i’ve praised myself for some camera work that i’ve done. 

Apart from that, this week has just been getting back into the swing of things again and picking up from where we left off.

This week coming up is sure to be an exciting one!

See you soon

Stuart

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Week 4

Another week, another blog.

This week has been one of those weeks where it’s not been amazing but it’s also not been terrible. It’s sat somewhere in the middle. I don’t know why it’s felt like that, I think it’s just because it’s week 4 and the buzz of being back has worn off and the work load has begun to rise.

The highlight of the week, by far, was beginning rehearsals for our project which is a play called ‘Rules for living’ by Sam Holcroft. I think I did myself a massive disservice by turning up to rehearsals thinking that a single read of the play and having all my facts and questions ready would be enough. Looking back i’m like ‘Why did you do that you absolute idiot? How could you think that would be a good idea?’. My thought behind it was that I didn’t want to turn up with choices already planned out as this is something I normally tend to do and it always hinders me in rehearsals. By doing this though, I couldn’t contribute to many of the conversations in the first couple of rehearsals. I didn’t really know my character (this is exciting though as I can find him throughout rehearsal and see his development). My note for the next project is to just read the play multiple times and know it like the back of my hand but hold back on making any choices with my character before rehearsals start.

I’ve found the work we did with Box of Tricks has helped my process immensely. Adams process of finding the facts of the play and asking yourself questions as you go through the play has really worked for me. No longer am I feeling the need to answer questions that won’t help me on a character questions sheet. Now I am asking questions that need answering. Some answers will be given in the text and some answers are able to come from my own imagination. Doing this really helps grounded the character in the reality of the play I think and I, as an actor, feel more aware of the facts of the play by doing this too. I’ll keep you updated on the rehearsals of the play. I think it was a good thing to fail this early on. I can see my process beginning to develop now which is really good. Also, I am now up to date with character research and such. I’m no longer lagging behind! 

We also had an interesting workshop with the head of our course on Monday afternoon. The workshop was about thoughts. Not dropping the thought is something that i’m trying to constantly be aware of as I think it’s a trap I can fall into sometimes. I’ve been more aware of it in second year since we did our Shakespeare voice project. I think being able to observe and be a part of the workshop really helped remind me of the importance of thought and how much consideration goes into the thought behind the line. That, and having the chance to work with our head of the course was a blessing. A magical man is he.

One negative I’ve drawn from this week was the feeling of unease that arose during a project rehearsal when we started getting a scene on its feet. The feeling of unease that I was feeling last term. I didn’t think i’d feel it again but I did and it wasn’t pleasant. I don’t think I felt at all prepared to get something on its feet which was a failure on my part, not the directors. I should have been prepared with something at least, maybe an understanding of my relationship between other characters and a clue about what’s happening within the scene. It ended up with me just trying to find something that worked and then trying stick to it. The feeling was there and it wasn’t nice. But now I think I understand that feeling a little bit more. It doesn’t just come down to self worth and confidence. It also comes down to preparation and being happy with the work that you’re presenting I think. I clearly wasn’t happy about the work I was about to present. So maybe it’s not a negative? Clearly i’ve learned a lesson? Or am I just trying to spin it to a positive for no reason? Who knows?

My work with Elen on her PRP project is really helping me to get out of my head and work with imagery. I’m really enjoying the process so far and it’s collaborative(ness). Taking into consideration the images that I can see to further influence the work. She is a wonderful movement director. Caring and thoughtful but never afraid to push and explore. I’m excited to find what comes next in the process.

I’m going to finish there this week. This blog has been a bit of a stream of consciousness but that’s okay. Week 5 is a bit more relaxed and I am able to have one or two lie ins this week which is a great feeling! It’s mainly project rehearsals anyway this week so next weekends blog will mainly consist of what’s happened in rehearsal.

Have a lovely week.

Stuart 

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[anactorsprocess-blog]

What is success to me?

I’m currently sat in Euston station in their Starbucks. I’ve already had a latte and a white coffee today and I can’t justify a third if i’m totally honest with you. I feel bad about not buying anything, especially considering how dedicated I am to Starbucks. My train isn’t until 20:25 so I thought i’d write a blog to pass the time. 

Today I had my first professional headshot session with Wolf Marloh in London. It was great and I couldn’t have asked for a better first session of my career. He was knowledgable, honest and very passionate about his craft. One of the things he did best was relax me and make me feel comfortable in front of the camera. To do this, we just talked. We talked about anything and had many great conversations. One of the ones that stuck out was a conversation about social media and success. 

Everybody has a different opinion of what success is. Some actors think that success is winning an Oscar, some think it’s performing on the west end and some think that success is just working consistently. Some people may also judge how successful they are based on their Twitter followers or if they have a blue, verified, tick next to their name. 

Wolf described Twitter as a bunch of people in a dark room talking and hoping that somebody else in the room is listening. I thought this was an accurate description and I laughed. It’s true though. I’m guilty of posting things and hoping it will get some sort of response from people. When you want it, it doesn’t happen but when you’re not bothered about it, it usually comes. 

We wondered if you could make connections with people on twitter and if you could be famous based on the amount of followers you have. Do people genuinely care what you’re saying or not? Does it contribute to our career or not? Are you any more successful if you have more followers than somebody else? Does anybody actually care about the point i’m making? I’ve lost all sense, the coffee is taking it’s toll on me and i’m falling asleep at the table. Anyway, moving on...

My idea of success is working consistently and maybe working my way up to the National Theatre (one day, I hope), I’m not too bothered about awards of copious amounts of fans. I just want to do the work and meet interesting people along the way whilst living a quiet life. I don’t ask for much, only the simple things. You can’t expect to be successful straight away. God help all the people who leave drama school and expect a four month run at the Royal court to be handed to them and when it’s not, feeling like a failure. If you want it, you have to work for it.

Wolf told me that it took 5 years of him grinding away for him to be in the position he’s currently in. 5 years where things weren’t relatively stable but that’s what you’ve got to do and by doing this, you get your name out there, you make connections with people you might not have met otherwise and eventually, you get to a place of reasonable stability. 

Now i’m not saying I want stability. Where’s the fun in that? i’ll take anything as long as i’m happy and working whether that be making my own work or being a part of somebody else’s. 

I always think it’s good to assess where you stand with things like this. Obviously, as I said at the beginning, everybody has a different perception of what success is to them but I think it’s a good idea to be clear on your thoughts, especially when entering the industry. My thoughts might change and when they do, I’ll blog about them but until then, this is where I stand. 

I’d love to know thoughts and feelings on what success is to others. If your’e brave, let me know. 

Thanks for reading.

Stuart

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Week 3

This blog is coming early this week as i’ve got a busy weekend ahead.

It’s funny that one of my goals set in last weeks blog was to find more focus during the week because that is something I have not managed at all this week. At times, maybe i have achieved it but overall I haven’t managed to. Obviously it’s completely fine, things like this are bound to happen. As our Choral teacher, Tim, says - it’s fine to lose focus, when you do just reconnect to the ‘other’ and bring yourself back. That’s not a direct quote, just a loose version of something he’d say. As I said, the loss of focus is fine, i’m just not going to ask myself to try and stay focused as I did last week because, clearly, when i ask myself to try, it doesn’t work!

This week has been a decent week. We’ve just finished our last week of workshops with Box of Tricks. It has been an interesting final week looking at what an actors role is in the development of a new play and we also finished looking at the scripts we’d written last Friday in the second part of our writing workshop. I’ve been so inspired by the work we’ve done this week and i’m excited to go on to make my own work and write my own plays. I’m excited by all the possibilities out there with new writing and am hoping that, in the future, I will be able to R&D my own work.

In movement, we took another look at Laban with our movement teacher, Michael. This was a chance to take my discoveries of last week and put them into practice again and it worked quite well. We went on this big, grand journey through every single laban effort working from the imagination to action and then to emotion. The process that I’d discovered last week kind of required me to tweak it a bit to going from the imagination to the emotion and then to the action but doing this didn’t change the exercise in any way, it just made it more accessible for me. It worked nicely and i’m now back to enjoying working with Laban and am quite likely to use it in our next project.

Speaking of our next project, the next play we’re doing is Rules Of Living by Sam Holcroft. I’ve been really bad and when I say really bad, I mean really bad. For this project, i’ve gone out of my way to not prepare anything before the rehearsal. This weekend will be the first time I will have fully read the play and our first rehearsal is next Tuesday. My usual process is to read the script during the holidays and allow it to sit with me. Then I would go on to trying to build a character before rehearsals have even started and come in to the first rehearsal having already made all my choices. By doing that, i’ve found that I stop playing with the work and instead, solidifying my first instincts. I don’t want that happening this time. This time, the only bit of work i’m doing before rehearsal is the facts of the piece and the questions that I need to answer within the piece. In the first week, i’ll start slowly moulding a character but i’m in no rush and i’m very excited for the opportunities for play that will arise from doing this. 

Today I had a lovely moment of ‘my class are incredible’. We were sharing the plays we’d written over the week, some of which were really exposing and honest, and it was amazing to see how much support everybody was giving each other and also great to hear the depth at which people were talking about other classmate’s work, in a positive way of course! Today has been the first day where i’ve thought ‘I am a second year’ and that was a good feeling. 

I’m in a great place at the moment. The work that i’m doing is getting better and life in general and my relationships with other people are also getting better and stronger by the day.

 I’ll see you in my next blog update. Have a lovely week.

Stuart

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Week 2

I’m quite late with this blog this week. Week three starts tomorrow. I need to work on my time management skills! 

This past week has been another interesting one. I’m back into the swing of things now and classes are back to normal. I’ve really enjoyed our new writing workshops with Adam and Hannah from the Manchester based theatre company ‘Box of Tricks’. We’ve mainly worked with Adam this week on monologue plays and non-linear plays. Every bit of information he’s told us has been so valuable and his processes when breaking scripts down is so intriguing. We also got to work with the playwright Chris Hoyle on Friday. In his workshop we began writing our own short plays using his small techniques, I’ve always wanted to try my hand at writing so I found this really useful stuff to know. I’ve now started to push myself to write more and hopefully, someday, i’ll finish writing my own play.

We also had the chance to have a movement workshop with one of our movement teachers turned vice-principal. That was incredible! We looked at Laban again which, funnily enough, is the thing that prompted me to start this blog in the first place. My problem with Laban was that I began to get in my head about how the effort would be ‘played’ in a sense. Within this workshop, I had a moment of realisation. I realised and remembered that the Laban effort is an inner feeling. If I feel something from that effort on the inside, ripples of that inner emotion with show on the surface and my movements will come from that feeling instead of trying to ‘play’ the effort. That was badly explained but you should be able to get what I mean. Basically, the inside affects the outside.

I’ve also begun reading ‘The Artists Way’ to try and learn how I can further my creativity. I’m excited to see what happens as I go on that journey and i’ll do my best to log it on here as best as possible. My only problem is that i’m bad at picking books back up after first reading them but i’ll endeavour with this one! 

On Friday I had the fortune of working with my lovely friend Patrick Price on a TV scene in our acting for camera class. I was quite happy with the work i’d put into that scene and I felt a shift between my attitude to work in first year and my attitude to work in second year. With this scene, I endeavoured to make choices and be bold with them whilst staying true to the script. It was a nice little scene and I think we both played it well. I’m excited to see the rushes now!

In terms of challenges i’ve faced this week, I can’t really think of any. Maybe just keeping focus at times and remembering that everybody is on their own journeys and everybody’s at different points on that journey. 

It’s been a good week. I’m excited to see what week three brings! 

Stuart

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Week 1

Week one back at drama school is over. 

I didn’t really have many findings this week. It’s just been a week of getting back in to the swing of things, getting back in touch with myself and my body and preparing myself to discover. I think my main focus this week has been trying to throw myself in to things more and not wait for others to go first. I’ve had some small successes doing this in the past week and a few moments of fear which is fine. 

This week we had to get up and sing one of our Shakespeare monologue’s in our natural accent and that was a tough one for me. I can sing when we’re having a bit of a joke or when i’ve had a few too many and there’s a karaoke machine hanging around but not in this circumstance. It took me a lot of courage to stand up and sing my monologue and although I didn’t get up first, I did get up second which i’m proud of myself for doing! It wasn’t too bad either you know. Sometimes you’ve just got to say ‘fuck it’ and go for it.

I’ve also had my eyes opened to actioning and uniting this week in workshops with the northern theatre company ‘Box of Tricks’. Hannah and Adam have been great with broadening our understanding of new writing and what it is and also how the begin with working on scripts. Hannah went through actioning with us which was a slightly different way to how I usually action scripts. I’m not usually fond of actioning as I feel so limited when I do it and all the work I do with actions usually changes when I eventually perform it so I always wonder what the point is. Hannah showed us that actioning as a cast is much better than doing it on your own as you can help each other out with what words to use and so you’re all on the same level when going into a scene. Actions on lines can be split into two categories, these being a push or a pull. A push action is something that is pushing somebody away such as ‘I flick you’ or ‘I deflate you’ and a pull action is something that pulls somebody in such as ‘I hook you’ or ‘I raise you’. I found this such an interesting way to break actions down and I will definitely be trying this out on future scripts. 

Finally, i’ve had the pleasure of staying with my two lovely friends this week due to the northern rail train strikes. This has been such a great opportunity to spend time with good people and have lie ins in the morning. I’m usually up at 6 to catch my train so this was a blessing to be able to get up at 8. They have been such good company and I cannot thank them enough for their kindness. 

I’m surprised that i’ve not yet broken any of my new years resolutions but at the same time, I’m so happy that I haven’t. I’m looking forward as to what week 2 will bring. I didn’t expect to have written this much when I started writing this entry so we’ll see how much I write next week!

Thank you to anybody who is reading for sticking on this journey with me. Things are looking up for me and this new year and new term is looking like a good one. Thank you again. Have a good week.

Stuart

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Beginning term 2

Today is Sunday the 7th of January. Tomorrow I begin my second term of second year at drama school. I’m full of fear, excitement and optimism for the forthcoming weeks and what they have in store for me.

This term, my main focus is being truthful and being completely and utterly in the moment when performing. The thought of this scares me i’m not going to lie to you. I want to be able to get to a place where I can trust myself enough to completely let go and trust the work. With this comes the challenge of learning to accept when it doesn’t happen and understanding why but not worrying about it too much. I’ve said this so many times to people that failure is so necessary for anybody to develop. You can only learn from getting things wrong, not from getting things right. I’m not at drama school to get things right, i’m here to learn and to play. 

My other main focus is being truthful within myself and to who I am and what my beliefs are. That was one of my main new years resolutions and so far i’ve managed to stick to all of them. This holiday has been a blessing in disguise for me as i’ve been able to switch off and get away from the work and just focus on getting back in touch with myself. I went to therapy for a couple of weeks, which is something I think all actors should do, to understand myself a bit more and learn about how I work as a person. I mainly looked at my self confidence, which is the thing that drove me to begin writing a blog in the first place and having done that, I feel so much better as a human being. It’s a lovely feeling and I’m so glad I took that time to reconnect with me. Now my goal is to continue to be myself and not try to please others all the time and instead, just be happy within myself with who I am.

My final focus is to cherish my friendships more. Over the past couple of weeks i’ve pushed myself to repair, develop and reconnect friendships, old and current, and i’ve had a lot of success and I feel all the better for it. I love every single person in my year at drama school and I have so much respect for them all and their personal processes and it is a genuine pleasure to be able to watch them develop as I develop too. 

I’ll keep updating this blog during my second term. I’m sure there will be many walls i’ll hit which i’ll want to blog about. Let’s see if I can stick to these focuses this term and be true to myself. Thanks for reading.

Stuart 

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2018

A short and concise list of things to do and rules to follow in 2018:

1) Don't apologise to anybody for being who I am. I am full of flaws but so is everybody. I’m not proud of all of them but I accept them as part of who I am. 

2) Give out love but give myself more love.

3) Find a hobby that is more physical and active than playing the guitar.

4) Stop waiting for something to happen, go and make things happen and welcome failure if it happens.

5) Stop acting like sergeant Angel from Hot Fuzz. Switch off. You are a person, not a robotic actor with no social life.

6) Welcome every opportunity that comes. The universe has plans.

Happy new year to all, see you in 2018

Stuart x