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@andsheoverthinks
We teach girls shame. Close your legs. Cover yourself. We make them feel as though by being
born female, they are already guilty of something. And so girls grow up to be women who cannot say
they have desire. Who silence themselves. Who cannot say what they truly think. Who have turned
pretence into an art form.
We Should All Be Feminist; Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
You know, as much as the Radfem community is full of interesting and vibrant women and as much as being gender critical is a huge part of radical feminism, I do find that a disproportionate amount of energy is focused on TIMs and disproving transgender ideology.
This is absolutely not to have a go but, for a community that is so vocal about being focused on women, a lot of you spend most of your time talking about men in dresses. I would say that two thirds of Radfem posts are about TIF's.
There's also a huge amount of vitriol around libfems and not many solutions on how to fix it.
I'm not stupid -I'm aware that this post will not transform the online radical feminist community. I am also aware of the hypocrisy of it, in that I'm not doing a huge amount myself.
That being said, I would love to see more of the radfem community online actually focusing on women and organising. Ranting and raving about trans people and making posts about how increasingly depraved they are is fine.
But where are the posts talking about other issues impacting women? Where are the pages organising meetings and marches and women's festivals? Where are the drives to raise money for women who need it, where ever that is? Where are the flyers made for us to print, decrying porn as the exploitation it is? Where are the recommendations for books and music and podcasts and art by women? Where are the podcasts analysing feminist literature to help others to understand it?
And I know that several of these things exist but they aren't really talked about. I have been drifting in Radfem circles for years and it's very rare that I'll see a piece of creative media advertised and even rarer that I'll see an actual event. The internet is such a great tool for organising but I'm just not seeing it used that way in Radfem circles to a particularly great extent.
There is so much that the Radfem community could be doing -should be doing- and isn't. Radical feminism is supposed to be about women, but all I see are posts about men.
All of this said, I would love it if anyone wanted to message me about any of the things above. I'm UK based and currently in the midst of my a-levels but I'd be at the very least happy to brainstorm with people if I can't do anything more.
how ironic that one of the main criticisms of the school system in adolescence is how teachers would just stick on a video for the kids to watch instead of actually teaching them, and now all the talk from the government is about how adolescence should be mandatory viewing in schools. like are you actually gonna teach them anything? are you gonna do anything to deradicalise boys? are you gonna invest in youth and mental health services? are you gonna pay teachers the money they deserve? are you gonna do anything about the hate speech that gets spread online? are you gonna make sure parents are better supported and actually have time to spend with their children? no? i mean why would you do any of that when you can just stick on a tv show. jesus christ
i'm wondering what the government or teachers can actually do about the misogynistic and racist radicalization of boys, though.
obviously requiring all young people to watch adolescence, to just pop it on during class, is not enough. but what would be enough? would moderating social media be enough (by the way, the cultural and political current is completely against moderation, so that frankly will not happen in many countries)? would relying on parents, the ones who allowed this issue to proliferate in the first place, be enough? because how do you undo a lifetime of violent indoctrination?
these children are online from the time they can sit upright, and their developing brains are exposed to hate-filled discourse adults spread, which they integrate into their burgeoning worldviews. children are socialized into the larger culture through social media now, and they develop a self-image based on what they're seeing and reading online. a huge part of that, for boys, is the idea that anything that challenges their worldview is woke, wrong, feminine, etc. they are groomed by these adult men to believe that "if anyone ever tells you your worldview is wrong, it's because they hate men/boys." this isn't a matter of talking to boys and providing resources, it's become an issue of deprogramming, in my opinion.
so genuinely, how do you combat that at scale? and why is it the government's job to combat it? parents have failed, spectacularly, to prevent this epidemic from coming to fruition, but now the onus to "fix it" is on teachers and the government? obviously, as a professor i do want my colleagues who deal with these fucking monsters to be better-paid, better-protected, and better-prepared, and also educators are not equipped to deal with this. your elected representatives are not equipped to deal with this either (or, in the case of the US, our elected representatives encourage the behavior). and even if they were, again, what could be actually done at schools beyond even more care resources for teen boys and girls that they won't utilize? or classes they won't take? or lectures they'll discount?
the only "cure" i see coming down the pipeline is the undeniable wave of social alienation and loneliness. the majority of young men (20s) are single and have never had a girlfriend. they have one or two male friends in real life, and a few online. they are relentless angry and negative and unpleasant to be around, they aren't going to college, and they aren't finding lucrative jobs. they're stagnating and they're becoming a public nuisance and burden. i hope that younger teens and male children will see this failed generation of gen z men and do everything they can to avoid their fate. i genuinely can't think of another way to compel them to understand that antisocial and antiwoman behavior is toxic, to them. i'm hoping i'm wrong, though, and there is a better answer, because i'm not convinced that gen alpha males won't also fall into this same social media death spiral.
I’m no expert but just my two cents as a mom of 3 young kids: I think it starts at home with the parents. You can’t let your kids go online unsupervised. That doesn’t have to mean you ban phones or social media outright, because that’s just going to make your kids resent you. It also doesn’t protect them from the toxic ideas found online, because they’ll hear it all around from peers when they’re at school.
But maybe you don’t give them their own phone and make them use yours instead. I tell my oldest kid (age 8) that she can’t get her own iPad cuz we don’t have the money. (Kinda true) But the real reason is because I want her to use *my* phone so it’s easier to supervise her chats with her friends and her internet history. I can spot problematic content earlier and tell her that I don’t want her watching certain things.
Another thing we do is that we require them to use the phone in the living room with the volume up so we can hear what they are watching. We don’t hover over them, but if we hear sketchy content (or hear them turning down the volume to hide what they are watching), then we can intervene. They grumble about this but we make it a condition of them getting screentime. (Another reason why we don’t want them to have their own devices: it’s easier to put the phone in time out when it’s your phone, not their phone. They understand that using your phone is a privilege, not a right.)
You also need to have conversations with your kids about any inappropriate content they come across. My oldest would sometimes watch scary videos and then would be scared to turn off the lights at bedtime. We had to talk to her about knowing her limits and closing a video if it’s too scary for her. She had to learn to monitor her own wellbeing and be conscious of what she watched.
I know the issues are going to get harder and scarier and more toxic as our kids get older, but our hope is that they will navigate it better if we start teaching them awareness and skills to protect their own wellbeing.
tl;dr schools and government can do what they can but it starts at home with the parents.
seeing pictures of Kamala supporters crying is so gut wrenching because those are women crying because they've lost control over their own bodies and choices. those are mothers fathers crying because they're terrified of their daughters futures. those are queer people crying because they fear their lives. my heart goes out to everyone indefinitely suffering under the regime of that piece of shit.
at the end of the day, this is a stupid, racist, selfish, necrotizing country
i shouldn't omit sexist. from vance's breeding fanaticism to florida's ballot rejection of abortions to the sadistic sexual hangups of osama bin laden's killer, going after young male harris voters as "concubines," psychosexual male fantasies of control and repression are fueling a reactionary movement
*men
It isn’t the country. It’s men. Everywhere. All of them.
Y'all need to stop pretending like white women did not play a huge role in this. It's fucking dishonest. The amount of white women I've met who gleefully talked about voting for trump because he would "stick it to the trans" or whatever the fuck is embarrassing.
IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU'RE GOING TO RECEIVE A SURPRISE BLESSING THIS WEEK
Michaela DePrince
Photo by Harvey Lisse
"Anti Porn radfems are reactionary and fear mongering" This guy could be lying but the idea that a man could come across a site called "THIS WOMAN IS BEING FUCKED WITHOUT HER KNOWLEDGE AKA WE ARE LITERALLY RAPING 100% REAL + SERIOUS" and write it off as a kinky title and still proceed is unfortunately fathomable.
The average male is coming across hundreds of videos entitled: "Conned out of sex", "Fucked instead of paying rent","Came in Her without her consent", "Stepdaughter fucked as punishment" etc. The literal culture of porn is to title videos with the most horrific, sexually abusive and illegal crimes against women and minors. Think about it: how would someone who is actually fucking their underage stepdaughter title their videos/activities to distinguish themselves from the millions of fake "fucking my underage stepdaughter" content? But when people say porn promotes and desensitizes people to rape, we're overreacting. Ok
Reading a book called "Very Important People" about the VIP Nightlife circuit. It's mainly about how the entire international clubbing and nightlife business is getting rich men to spend money and how models and women being present to create "atmosphere" is a key component of that business.
And that's how models and pretty girls get invited to be in VIP sections of clubs and restaurants for free- their presence is used as bait to reel in men who spend.
Male promoters earn a living based on their ability to get models to come to the club every night.
Men looking to do business deals use their access to women as leverage to be in the same room as potential investors.
And the rich use the women to signal to others that they have power and status and earn more respect and consideration in business.
Basically, for these men, women's presence is used to transfer wealth and capital into their hands. But women who seek to get anything out of it are hated:
1.Men hate the girls who accept the complimentary meals and drinks. (Even though promoters who invite them literally need them to come for the free meals and drinks and won't get paid unless they do!)
2.Men hate the girls who try to get close to the rich men to get gifts and favours or a relationship (Even though the rich men are the ones who literally request them being there!)
3.Most of all, men hate the girls who take it one step further and have sex for money and demand actual monetary compensation for being in those environments (Because God forbid, a woman actually gets some actual capital out of the situation). Men constantly say "Being a beautiful woman is life on easy mode". They forget patriarchy has a built in mechanism to prevent women from benefiting from the beauty and sex men value and liberally use- misogyny. The intense hatred and disgust men feel at the idea of a woman valuing her beauty and using it to get ahead. It's fine for men to see the value in your beauty and use it transfer wealth into their pockets- but if you do that as a woman- you're a whore, you're a user and you're a vapid party girl. Just shows how the hatred of women and policing of their sexuality is to make sure they can benefit from your beauty, but not you.
This reminds me of a video I watched about Japan offering food to women in exchange they will “help teach guests languages”
Men can use you for your beauty like you're a tool, can capitalize on the value other men see in you and profit on your presence, on your body, on your social skills...but God forbid YOU capitalize on all these thing that THEY made relevant and valuable. Without patriarchy women wouldn't be reduced to a body and a smile and the ability to be pleasant, but when women decide to exploit it to advance (or only to eat for free!) they hate us.
After all, you wouldn't be happy if a hammer requested to be paid before using it.
When women take advantage (if you could even define it that way) they shatter the illusion that they are there because they like those scrotes.
I want to be absolutely clear: there is no reason whatsoever to do this other than misogynistic control. There are women living in a first world country, in this modern age, who wanted to work in the medical field, who worked extremely hard, who were unfairly held back from attending their chosen programme because of sexism.
And when this prestigious school was accused of sexist practices, they lied. And when they couldn't lie anymore, they just shrug and say they won't do it again, while not acknowledging the lives of women that are forever changed due to their systematic misogyny.
Exhibit 2868
At least two women in Georgia have died since the state’s six-week abortion ban went into effect after the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. W
My state is killing women with its abortion policies.
“At least two women in Georgia have died since the state’s six-week abortion ban went into effect after the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. Candi Miller and Amber Thurman, both Black women and mothers to young children, died after they were unable to access care for rare but typically treatable complications caused by medication abortion.”
For all the incels who love to cry wolf❣️
I want someone to find me one, just one, post made by a cis het man where he talks about how men need to treat women better. How women are actually great and not stupid and have soft tummies or whatever the fuck. It can't be sexual or talking about something that makes his dick hard. It must be wholesome and talking about how women have inherent merit and don't deserve how men treat them. Literally just one. I wanna see. Bonus points if the comment are FILLED with other cis het men talking about how they agree with him and don't like how men treat women either.
Every single day cis, straight men get on the internet to remind people that they only have sex with women to get validation from other men. Truly using a woman’s body to have sex with men.
